A Family's Heartbreak

by Kitty Neale

  Jenny felt restless and fidgeted on the sofa. Her gran had dozed off in her armchair and was gently snoring. Pamela had taken her brothers for a bath before bedtime.

  In the stillness of the room, Jenny’s mind turned. She couldn’t shake the thought of Gloria turning up on Christmas Day with Jack. She didn’t think she’d be able to face it and decided to confront the problem head on.

  She popped her head around the bathroom door and said to Pamela, ‘I’m going out, but won’t be long.’

  ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘To have a word with Gloria. Wish me luck.’

  ‘Good luck,’ Pamela said with raised eyebrows. ‘I think you might need it.’

  Jenny grabbed her coat and an umbrella, then stepped out into the pouring rain. She thought herself mad to venture out in this weather but knew she wouldn’t sleep tonight unless she’d spoken with her sister.

  It was quite a trek to Gloria’s flat, and by the time she arrived, Jenny’s lower half was soaked through. Her feet squelched in her shoes, and she could feel cold rain water dripping down her back. She knew she probably looked a sight, but knocked firmly on Gloria’s front door, hoping that Jack wasn’t there.

  Moments later, Gloria came to the door and looked surprised to see her. ‘Blimey, Jenny, you’re drenched. Come in, what’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing, I just want to have a word with you,’ Jenny answered through chattering teeth.

  ‘I’ll make you a hot drink. There’s towels in the bathroom, get yourself dried off and put my dressing gown on.’

  ‘It’s OK, I’m not stopping,’ Jenny said and shivered.

  ‘Yes, you are! You can’t go back out in that, you’ll catch your death.’

  ‘No, really, I’m fine. I just need to ask you something …’

  ‘Fire away.’

  ‘You and Jack … is it serious?’

  ‘You’ve heard then. The answer is, I don’t know, I haven’t given it much thought, but it could be. Why, it’s not a problem for you, is it?’

  ‘Actually, it is.’

  ‘I don’t see why. You’re not with him any more.’

  ‘That doesn’t mean I don’t still have feelings for him.’

  ‘Well, you’ll have to get over them, Jen. You had your chance and you blew it,’ Gloria remarked coldly.

  ‘How did I blow it? I loved him, but he obviously didn’t feel the same about me.’

  ‘Come off it, you put Pam and the boys before him, and to top that, no man wants to play second fiddle to your dead lover.’

  ‘I thought Jack understood how I feel about Craig, and as for Pam and the boys, they have to be my priority. It’s not like they’ve got anyone else looking out for them!’

  ‘I’m just saying that you should have given a little more thought to how Jack felt. You always make everything all about you.’

  ‘That’s not fair,’ Jenny said, astounded.

  ‘Jack is just like any other man I know – they like to feel important … special. You didn’t make him feel that way.’

  ‘And you do, I suppose?’

  ‘Yes, actually, I do. I make him feel very special, if you know what I mean.’

  Jenny knew exactly what her sister meant and felt that the knife Gloria had stabbed her in the back with was now being twisted and plunged deeper. The thought of her sister sleeping with Jack left her reeling and she felt a pang of jealousy. She didn’t want Gloria to see her feelings and tried to remain stony-faced, hoping to sound dignified when she said, ‘I hope you’ll be very happy together, but please respect my wishes and don’t bring him to Gran’s.’

  ‘If I can’t bring my boyfriend, then don’t expect to see me either,’ Gloria answered insolently.

  Jenny wasn’t going to plead with her sister. It was Gloria’s decision, and Jenny knew that once her mind was made up, it could rarely be changed. She didn’t care that there’d be one fewer for Christmas dinner this year, especially as she was going to have to put up with her mother and Brian. She would put on a front and be nice to them for the sake of the boys, but really she would be glad when the festivities were over.

  Chapter 49

  It hadn’t been a surprise when Father Christmas didn’t turn up on Christmas Eve, least of all to Edith. After lots of tears from Timmy and Peter and many questions about whether they’d been well behaved or not, Jenny had managed to calm them and settle them down to sleep. Of course, when they awoke on Christmas morning to discover Santa had secretly visited in the night, they were thrilled, and the rest of the day passed uneventfully.

  Christmas had fallen on a Tuesday, which felt odd to Edith, but as Boxing Day was mid-week, Jenny had an extended holiday. The factory had closed, and she didn’t have to return to work until the New Year. Edith was pleased to have her home and thought the break would do her good. She’d looked exhausted lately, as though she was carrying the worries of the world on her small shoulders. Edith wished there was more she could do to alleviate Jenny’s burdens, but she could barely get herself out of her armchair lately, and when she did it was a struggle to see where she was going.

  Jenny brought her a cup of tea and perched on the arm of her chair. ‘Pamela is going out with Linda for New Year. They’re off to a dance in the church hall tomorrow night.’

  ‘That’s nice. And what about you? How are you going to see in 1963?’ Edith asked, though she doubted Jenny had any plans.

  ‘I’ll probably sleep through it, but I’ve decided the New Year is going to be a new start for me.’

  ‘Oh, how’s that?’

  ‘I’ve got to move on, Gran, and leave the past behind. Craig will always have a special place in my heart, but I can’t spend the rest of my life mourning for him. As for Jack, he’s happy with Gloria now and I should be pleased that she’s settled with a decent man who will look after her. I shouldn’t blame Gloria for falling for him … Jack’s a good man and she could do a lot worse.’

  ‘That’s very generous of you, love, but are you kidding yourself? I know you didn’t fall for him as deeply as Craig, but you still loved the man. No matter what you say, it must hurt to know that he’s with your sister.’

  ‘I think I was lonelier than I realised, and, as you once said, on the rebound. I think I thought myself in love with Jack, but it didn’t go that deep or it would be him that always fills my mind instead of Craig. Anyway, I’m not going to dwell on it any more. I have decided that 1963 is going to be my year!’

  ‘Good on you,’ Edith said, and patted her granddaughter’s knee. It was nice to hear the girl sounding more positive. She always wore a brave face, but Edith could tell she’d been moping. It was about time Jenny had some good luck, and Edith hoped her positive attitude would bring it to her.

  ‘It’s only me,’ Jenny heard her mum call as she let herself into the flat. Timmy and Peter ran to greet her, and Pamela sighed heavily.

  ‘Great, let’s hear what fairy-tales she comes up with this time for letting the boys down,’ Edith grumbled.

  Lizzie breezed into the room and Jenny noticed she didn’t have Brian with her.

  ‘Hello, sweetheart, is there tea in the pot?’ her mum asked as she plonked herself down on the sofa.

  ‘I’ll get it,’ Pamela said and jumped up. ‘Boys, will you give me a hand to carry the cakes in?’

  Jenny thought it was an excuse for her sister not to sit with their mum. Pam had been as disappointed as the boys when Brian had let them down on Christmas Eve and Jenny doubted she’d forgiven her mother yet.

  ‘Where’s your bloke who lives on top of the beanstalk?’ Edith asked sarcastically, though her description of Brian as a giant did put a smile on Jenny’s face.

  ‘He’s, erm … busy. Sorry about Christmas, something came up.’

  ‘It always does with you, Lizzie,’ Edith said snidely.

  ‘Yes, well, it couldn’t be helped. Anyway, I called in to see if you kids all fancy coming to the funfair at the weekend? There’s one set up on Streatham Common
and seeing as I missed you over Christmas, I thought it would be a nice way to spend some time together.’

  ‘I’m sure Pam and the boys would enjoy that, Mum, but I’ll give it a miss.’

  ‘Come on, Jen, it’ll be a laugh.’

  ‘Funfairs aren’t really my cup of tea.’

  ‘Suit yourself, but you’ll be missing out. Brian said he’ll run us up there, so I’ll pick the others up at about eleven.’

  ‘What’s about eleven?’ Timmy asked as he came back into the room carrying two small plates with pastries.

  ‘It’s the time I’ll be picking you up on Saturday … we’re going to the funfair!’

  Timmy looked elated as he squealed, ‘Mummy’s taking us the funfair, Peter!’

  ‘I don’t want my cake,’ Peter said as he ran to the hallway and started to put his shoes on.

  ‘Not today, Peter. I’m taking you on Saturday.’

  ‘Oh, can’t we go now?’

  ‘No, Brian is busy today. You won’t have long to wait, just today and Friday, then when you wake up the next morning it’ll be Saturday.’

  ‘But that’s ages.’

  ‘No, it’s not, you silly sausage,’ Lizzie said with a chuckle.

  Given her mother’s habit of not turning up, Jenny wished she hadn’t told the boys about the fair and feared she’d let them down again.

  ‘I won’t be able to come, I’m working on Saturday,’ Pamela said.

  ‘Can’t you take the day off?’

  ‘No, it’ll be really busy in the salon with everyone wanting their hair set for the New Year.’

  ‘You could have a sick day.’

  ‘No, she can’t!’ Jenny interrupted and threw her mother a scornful look. She didn’t think it was right for her mum to encourage the girl to be deceitful or to skive from work.

  ‘Anyway,’ Pamela said, unusually speaking her mind, ‘there’s no guarantee you’ll turn up.’

  ‘Of course I will but never mind, it looks like it’ll just be us then, boys,’ Lizzie said.

  Her mother stayed for about an hour and when she left Jenny was grateful that this time her brothers didn’t make a fuss. She hoped they’d have fun on Saturday and not be left looking out the window and crying if their mum let them down again.

  *

  ‘Tina’s having a New Year party on Monday night and she’s invited us,’ Jack said as he walked beside Gloria on their way to her flat from work.

  ‘I dunno, Jack. The last time I saw Tina, she wasn’t very nice to me. She’s Jenny’s friend and what if my sister is at the party?’

  ‘Tina has got used to us being together now, and if she didn’t want you at the party, she wouldn’t have invited you. I asked if Jenny’s going and apparently she isn’t, so how about it?’

  ‘All right, I suppose so, but if your sister starts on me again, you’d better say something this time.’

  ‘Don’t worry, she won’t, but if she does I’ll tell her to mind her own business.’

  Once they were indoors, Gloria made them both a sandwich and sat next to Jack on the sofa. ‘There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you,’ she said when she finished eating. ‘Gail is moving out. She’s going back home to help her mum and I can’t afford to rent this place on my own. I don’t really like the idea of sharing with someone who’s likely to be here all the time, and it would mean we’d have less privacy.’

  ‘I think I can see where this is going,’ Jack said with a smile.

  ‘Well? Do you want to move in with me?’

  ‘Yeah, I may as well. I’m here more than I’m at home.’

  ‘Really? Oh, Jack, that’s great!’

  Gloria placed her plate on the floor beside her and leaned over to kiss Jack. ‘Our own little love nest,’ she whispered, and ran her hand up the inside of his thigh. As she brushed over his manhood, she could feel it bulging against the material of his trousers.

  ‘Yes, you’re right,’ Jack said, his voice husky, and slipped his hand under her blouse. ‘We don’t want anyone disturbing our privacy.’

  ‘Have you got a johnnie?’ Gloria asked as she eased Jack away, then stood up and yanked down her knickers. ‘We don’t want any unwanted babies either.’

  ‘Shit, no, I forgot to buy some today. Can’t you get yourself on that pill that stops you getting pregnant?’

  ‘No, Jack, only married women can have the pill,’ she said, standing in front of him as she undid the buttons on her blouse suggestively, watching as his eyes darkened with lust.

  He reached out to grab her hips then pulled her towards him. ‘Well, in that case, I’d better marry you.’

  Chapter 50

  It was mid-January and though they’d just finished making love, Lizzie was still sulking about Brian having left her to spend New Year alone. She was naked, sitting on the edge of the bed and blowing smoke rings into the air.

  ‘Give it a rest, will ya?’ Brian moaned from the other side of the bed. ‘How many times have I got to say I’m sorry?’

  ‘You promised me, Brian. It was bad enough that you was with her at Christmas, but New Year too!’

  ‘I had to be there for Christmas, for my kids, you know that.’

  ‘You didn’t have to be with them for New Year, and I know you went down the pub with her … with no thought about me stuck in this shithole.’

  ‘Lizzie, we’ve been over this a thousand bloody times – me mother was staying with us. She said she’d babysit and told us to go out. What was I supposed to do?’

  ‘Leave her … for good … like you said you would!’

  ‘I will … I am … but I’ve got to find the right time.’

  ‘When? Tomorrow? Next week? Next bleedin’ year?’

  ‘Soon,’ Brian shouted, sounding exasperated. ‘Soon, I promise.’

  ‘Your promises mean jack-shit, Brian. I’m giving you ’til the end of the month to get this sorted. If you ain’t left your wife by then, well, that’ll be it. You can kiss my pretty arse goodbye.’

  Lizzie stood up and stepped into her dress, leaving her underclothes in the pile by the side of the bed. She ran her fingers through her hair, then spun around to glare at Brian. ‘And another thing,’ she ranted, ‘you can rent us somewhere half decent to live. I’m sick of the sight of these four walls. I want a proper flat or house, not a poxy room and a shared bathroom.’

  ‘OK, OK, calm down, woman. Take that dress off and come back into bed … it’s cold in here without you to warm me up.’

  ‘I don’t think so. In fact I’ve a good mind to take all hanky-panky off the menu until you leave your wife. Maybe that’ll spur you on to actually do something about it!’

  ‘Fine, if that’s how you’re going to be, I may as well go back to work,’ Brian said and threw off the bedclothes.

  Lizzie worried she might have pushed him too far. She didn’t want to lose him, but she wasn’t happy with him sharing his time between her and his family. ‘I’ll come back to bed, but I meant what I said about giving you ’til the end of the month.’

  ‘All right, I get it … now get your sexy body between these sheets.’

  Lizzie let her dress slip to the floor and smiled as she saw Brian’s eyes roaming over her naked body. She was sure she could win her man. She’d seen Brian’s wife and didn’t think she had any competition. The woman was a middle-aged frump who had let herself go. It wasn’t any wonder that Brian had been so easily seduced and now she’d laid down her ultimatum, Lizzie felt confident she’d soon have him solely to herself.

  ‘Are you going hop picking again this year?’ Joan asked Tina.

  ‘Yes, it’s the only chance I get of any sort of holiday, but September seems a long way off.’

  ‘I always fancied it, sounds like a right jolly,’ Joan said.

  ‘You should come. You too, Jenny.’

  Jenny had heard Tina’s funny tales of their adventures in Kent, staying in hoppers’ huts and enjoying long evenings around a campfire, but the days sounded like hard
work. She didn’t think her brothers would see it as much of a holiday. ‘Thanks, but I couldn’t leave my gran for that long,’ she said, glad that she’d quickly thought of a plausible excuse.

  ‘Couldn’t Gloria keep an eye on her for once?’ Tina asked.

  ‘I don’t think so. I haven’t seen my sister since before Christmas and I doubt I’ll be seeing her any time soon.’

  ‘Oh, you haven’t heard then …?’

  ‘Heard what?’ Jenny asked.

  ‘Bloody hell, there’s me putting me big foot in it again. I’m sorry, love, I hadn’t realised you and Gloria had fallen out.’

  ‘It wasn’t so much a falling-out, but I asked her not to bring Jack to Gran’s over Christmas and she didn’t like it. Anyway, what haven’t I heard?’

  ‘About her and Jack … they’re getting married.’

  ‘What?’ Joan exclaimed. ‘But they’ve not been seeing each other long. Blimey, it was only a few months ago that he asked Jenny to marry him!’

  ‘I know, and I said I thought they were rushing into things, but they’re living together now and apparently saving up for their big day. My mum ain’t too happy about it. Between us, I don’t think she’s keen on your sister, Jenny. She reckons the girl is a bit brassy and Jack could do better.’

  Jenny was speechless and stared at her friend in shock.

  ‘Are you all right, love?’ Tina asked.

  ‘Erm … yeah,’ Jenny replied, but she wasn’t sure how she felt. She hadn’t expected their relationship to last for very long, but now, hearing this … ‘Oh, God,’ she said.

  ‘What is it?’ Tina asked.

  ‘Jack is going to be my brother-in-law!’

  ‘Yes, he will be. Are you OK with it?’

  ‘To be honest, Tina, I don’t think I am. I’m happy that my sister is settling down with a good man, I just wish it wasn’t Jack.’