Spellbound

by Margaret Way

  'May we go?' Lucie was still standing with the alert grace of a gazelle.

  'Why the hell should we? I haven't even had my dinner.'

  'Then I'll go myself.' Lucie flew away from the table without another word.

  When Joel caught her outside, he swung her around roughly. 'Is he always going to haunt you?' he demanded.

  'Probably to the day I die.'

  'Why?' Joel could feel the jealous rage mount in him. 'You've told me you were finished with him—dancing, everything. Not once, but many times. Was it all a lie?'

  'You're hurting me, Joel,' Lucie said in a low voice.

  'That's another thing, you like getting hurt.' His blue eyes blazed with an intense sexual jealousy.

  'Please take your hands off me,' Lucie said, summoning up all her courage. 'I'm sorry if I'm acting foolishly, but I have to leave.'

  'It's Strasberg all the time, isn't it?' Joel shouted. He pulled her into his arms abruptly and his eyes had a dangerous gleam. 'The little virgin with me, but I bet you were ready for Strasberg—day or night!'

  His strength, bolstered by fury, was too much for Lucie, but then a tall figure seemed to spring out of the shadows, took Joel by the shoulder and almost threw him sideways.

  'You bastard!' Joel roared as Julian loomed over him.

  'How about Mr Strasberg?'

  Lucie ran for safety. A cruising taxi decided her, but as she slid in, her heart pounding, she was literally hauled from the seat.

  'What's goin' on here?' the driver demanded.

  'Just the usual.' Julian shoved a note into his hand. 'A lovers' tiff.'

  'Then leave me out of it.'

  'Thanks.' Holding Lucie with his left arm, Julian slammed the door.

  By some miracle she didn't faint though she twisted and turned with desperation.

  'You have to be awfully careful who you associate with,' Julian gritted through his teeth.

  'What have you done to Joel?' she demanded.

  'I haven't killed him.'

  'Where is he?' she cried jerkily.

  'I would say dealing with a bloody nose.'

  'You beast!'

  'I have been for quite some time. Serve the little rat right.'

  'I hope he brings an assault charge against you!' she said furiously.

  'In reward for rescuing you.' He was half walking, half lifting her towards his car.

  'What are you doing?' The idea of screaming floated into her mind.

  'I'm taking you home. No trouble at all.'

  'I won't go, Julian.'

  'What a bore!' he drawled.

  Lucie turned up her face and her eyes swam with tears. 'This is unendurable, Julian. Won't you leave me alone?'

  'So you can ruin your life with Tennant?'

  'At least he doesn't dominate me completely.'

  'But damn it all, Lucie, I don't dominate you in any real sense. You're infinitely gifted, your own person.'

  'I'm just a child afraid of monsters,' she said faintly.

  'And I'm the monster?'

  'More or less.'

  'It's a high price to pay for returning you to your own world.'

  'That's another terrible thing about you—you won't face facts.'

  'No, Lucie,' he said quietly. 'It's you who's turning away from reality. Calling me a monster isn't making any sense. I haven't abandoned you. You've abandoned me—more importantly, yourself. If I leave you alone, you'll become permanently fixated that you can't dance.'

  It was a conflict that could never be resolved. Lucie threw up her arms in an attitude of despair and Julian closed in on her swiftly and lifted her into his Car.

  She did not go willingly, neither did she offer resistance. There hadn't been a day when she had not had to chase the thought of Julian from her mind. He was too dominant, too strong for her, and maybe when he had her he would stop this painful conquest. It was better to have it all over.

  When they arrived at his house, he helped her out but held her arm, the tension that was in him tingeing his face with bitterness.

  'Joel may follow us here,' she said.

  He smiled, but his eyes were arrogant and full of menace. 'Joel has a tendency to disappear when there's trouble.'

  'He wants to marry me.'

  'No wonder you're worried!' Still with his hand on her, he found the front door key and opened the door.

  'Your friends must find you unusual . . . unpredictable.'

  'I suppose so.' He flicked a switch and light flooded down on them. 'It's not really of great consequence to me whether they understand me or not. I saw you rush

  out and I saw Tennant's face when he followed you. I made my apologies quickly and left.'

  'And how long have you known the blonde lady?'

  He smiled with irony. 'I don't know that it's any of your business.'

  'I realise that.' Lucie mustered her own little smile. 'You've impressed on me that you don't have to explain yourself to anybody.'

  'Come and sit down,' he said, his black eyes raking her face and her bare shoulders. 'I don't propose raping you, if that's what you're afraid of.'

  'I'm not afraid,' she said tautly. 'I do abhor the way you do this sort of thing.'

  'What sort of thing?' He was frowning, thoughtful.

  'Oh, abductions.' She gestured gracefully.

  'I only want to talk to you, Lucie.'

  'Marvellous—talk!’ She sat down on the sofa in a dense cloud of excitement and despair.

  'I'll take you back to Jessie whenever you like,' said Julian.

  'Oh, quick, quick, let's go now!' She jumped up again and made a run for the door.

  'Lucie, Lucie!' He had his arms around her and her name seemed to be rasped from his throat.

  'Why don't you take me and get it over?' The sound of her laugh was overlaid by a sob.

  'Would I hurt you—would I?'

  'Yes, you would.'

  'You little fool!' he said contemptuously. 'I'm sick to death of your stupidity. Do you think I need a woman so much I can't keep my hands off her?'

  'It looks like it to me,' she retorted bitterly.

  The strong arms that had pinned her flung themselves away and Lucie so abruptly released, found that her legs were buckling under her. She swayed, put out a hand and Julian grasped her once more, refuting his own denials, his mouth already claiming hers.

  It was too late then for both of them, frustrated passions rising in a fury, overriding the defence mechanisms that in saner moments kept their desires masked.

  Lucie felt the hard, lithe body against hers and revelled in the shock of it, the enormous pleasure she was always struggling to suppress. Whatever her separate thoughts, her body was as one with Julian's. Physically he was perfect to her, his hands, his mouth, the hard muscles rippling smoothly beneath her fingers.

  That he could bring her such joy was the source of her nightly tears, for her body, no matter how swiftly the blood flowed, was only a shell, earthbound. It was her spirit, her soul, that was winged, the Lucie that would endure.

  But the demands of the body were riotous, the fierce pleasures of the senses she had fought to deny herself but was now powerless to forgo.

  'Lucie?' He was lifting her and she buried her face against his shoulder, her violet eyes closed, her slender arms clinging around his neck.

  'You're so beautiful. You threw a net around me .long ago.'

  A net. Symbol of captivity when his spirit craved absolute freedom. How could she tell him she loved him when he had no use for a woman's heart?

  When he lay her down upon his bed, the lamp light spilled across her white skin, the black silk of her coiled hair and the swirling violet of her ruffled skirt.

  'Look at me, Lucie.' He brought his hands down authoritatively upon her bare shoulders, turning her curved-away body so he could see her more clearly.

  She could not open her eyes, voiceless, long drowned.

  'You know I mean to have you?'

  It was the pattern of her life.<
br />
  When Julian removed her dress from her with exquisite care, the light beat down upon her pearly skin. He imprisoned her face, the pressure of his fingers on her temples making her open her eyes. 'Are you going to lie there and pretend to suffer me, or are you going to let me love you as I like?'

  'But I long for you!' she whispered, beyond disguise.

  'And I for you.' His beautiful hands found the smooth shape of her breasts. 'I hear music when I'm with you.'

  So—an inspiration for ideas, yet such men were rare. The caressing hands were perfect, transfixing her body so they could travel where they liked.

  'Lucie, don't weep.' His voice was so tender he might have been talking to a small child.

  'It's impossible,' she whispered brokenly.

  'What is?'

  I'll never hold you, she thought. Never.

  'Tell me.' He lay down beside her and gathered her right into his arms. 'Tell me, baby. You frighten me.'

  'I can't.'

  'You feel you lost your dream. What you were born for?'

  'What was I born for?' she challenged him, illogically in the face of his gentleness driving one small fist into his hard chest. 'For you?' 'God, yes!'

  The heart beneath her hand pounded and his temper rose to match her own. 'You want this.' He lifted her higher, and covered her mouth with his own. 'You want it . . . want it.'

  Lucie became aware that her sensuality was turning her body to flame, differing from the body she had always known. Yet now he had had his victory, the moment's savagery gave way to an unbelievably sensuous slowness where pleasure and pain were the same.

  'Please, Julian!' Her body was straining for him, arching upwards.

  'You are so wonderful to make love to.'

  'I can't stand it!' And the intense agitation was there in her eyes.

  But his control seemed limitless, the power it had over her. 'You love me, don't you?' The hands that touched her were tender, but his voice was harsh.

  'Yes.'

  'Yet you know I don't believe in love?'

  'Or mercy.'

  This had the effect she wanted. As though galvanised Julian took her in a great flare of passion; a drowning, blinding, pulverising rapture, and afterwards when he lay with his head against Lucie's breast, it was she who had the moment's ascendancy.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  She didn't have to tell Jessie. Jessie knew.

  'And has it changed anything?' Jessie gave Lucie one of her penetrating looks.

  'No.' Best to face the realisation that this was the case. 'But I'll never find so perfect a lover again.'

  'At least until he simply admits he loves you.'

  'But he doesn't, Jessie.' Lucie tried to subdue the helpless feelings that swamped her. 'He told me the truth. I'm just part of a fantasy, maybe even a memory.'

  'I don't believe it!' Jessie's voice rose in a kind of anger. 'He's maddening, I'll admit, but in spite of it he's been there when you really needed him, and that's the truth.'

  'So what shall I do about Joel?' Lucie paused in the act of brushing her hair and gave Jessie a beseeching look.

  'You'll have to tell him you can't see him any more.'

  Despite his humiliation at Julian's hands, Joel was very hard to convince. 'You're being hysterical about this, Lucie,' he charged her. 'If I were you I'd speak to this psychiatrist of yours about it. You've built Strasberg up in your own mind until he's some kind of an avenging god.'

  'I can't see you any more, Joel,' she told him, to put him out of his suffering.

  'Oh, I fully intend to see you,' he said grimly, and even over the telephone Lucie caught the hard flash of his eyes. 'You can't use me, Lucie, and then cast me away. I won't let you.'

  'I have to go now, Joel,' Lucie answered quietly. 'Please believe me, I'm sorry about everything, but I simply can't see you any more. It's the only thing I can do, release you.'

  To her consternation he was waiting for her when she left Van Raven's photographic studio. 'Lucie!' He caught hold of her arm, staring at her accusingly.

  'Oh, Joel, must you?'

  'Yes, I must. What would you like me to do, disappear? My family are expecting an engagement.'

  'Your mother, mainly.' Avril Tennant could scarcely comprehend not getting what she wanted. Like Joel.

  'Dad too.' Joel tightened his grip on her until she flinched. 'What explanation are you going to give him? I know you like him more than the rest of us put together.'

  'I respect him,' Lucie asserted, and tried to pull away.

  'Darling!' At once there was pleading in Joel's tone. 'Don't let Strasberg do any more damage. He can't rule your life.'

  'I'm making my own life, thank you,' Lucie said.

  'So what happened last night?'

  'Nothing.' Mercifully Lucie paled rather than coloured. 'Would you excuse me now, Joel? I have another appointment.'

  'I'll take you,' his eyes narrowed, 'where to?'

  'Sarah's office.'

  'No classes with dear Julian?'

  'No.' She shielded her violet eyes behind her thick lashes. 'The hardest thing in life, Joel, is to accept things.'

  'There's just too much accepting going around,' Joel told her. 'I'm going to be like Strasberg and seize what I want.'

  His attitude bothered Lucie not a little, and she found herself confiding in Sarah.

  'But can't he take it like a man?' Sarah pushed back in her swivel chair, the sun on her glorious hair.

  'To do that he'd have to be made of sterner stuff.'

  'Then why did you encourage him, love?'

  'It was the last thing I was trying to do,' Lucie explained wryly. 'At first I thought I was helping him.'

  'As I recall, Jessie told me you didn't see him the whole time you were in hospital.'

  'I felt he had some kind of a breakdown.' Lucie picked up a glass paperweight and balanced it abstractedly in her hand. 'I've known Joel for a long time, since our student days. Once we were good friends, then everything seemed to change.'

  'You mean he fell in love with you.'

  'Love can be the devil.'

  'Can't it now!' Sarah sighed deeply, absolutely certain of it. 'It sounds like you have a problem.'

  'Problems,' Lucie corrected.

  'Not with modelling.' Sarah snapped forward and found a sheet of paper on her desk, nodding over it. 'Vogue want you for their Christmas special edition— smashing gear, and they're talking about a whole new hair-style.'

  'But, Sarah. . . .'

  'Yes, dear?' Sarah looked up quickly at the odd note in the girl's voice.

  'Nothing.' Lucie shrugged. 'I was going to say dancers always wear their hair long.'

  'And you haven't give up hope?'

  'At least when I'm fully conscious. When I'm asleep I dream I'm dancing: Odette, Odile, Aurora, Swanilda and Giselle. Lately it's been Ley-Ah. .. .'

  'That beautiful part, Black Iris?'

  'Julian is putting it on again,' Lucie explained.

  'Great, I can't wait to see it. He's the most fantastic man!'

  'Certainly a great choreographer.' Lucie kept her expression smooth. 'Will you tell me what happened when he came to see you?'

  Sarah's gaze slid away, out of the window. 'He told me you had it in you to be a great dancer.'

  'Oh, well ' Lucie gave a broken laugh.

  'He said I had no right to divert you from a great career.'

  'He would.' Now Lucie's tender mouth curved into a faint smile. Julian was good at telling people.

  'It's all right, I like him,' Sarah said. 'Of course he's so damned attractive he could get away with anything, even murder. When he eventually settled down I found myself promising I would fit my requirements to your splendid talent. You'll have to admit I did my best to keep to your timetable?'

  'Yes, Sarah, you did.'

  'But you told me yourself, dear child, you had no illusions left at all. You don't find yourself strong enough for a dancer's life.'

  'No.' Lucie bent her head
.

  'You don't sound happy?' Sarah leaned forward, concerned.

  'Well, you know what it's like. Jessie told me her champion runner told her he'd never get over being finished with gold medals. Not until the day he died.'

  'I guess it's a problem with champions,' Sarah said. 'I regret I never saw you dance, Lucie. Are you sure you're really finished?'

  Lucie didn't even flinch. 'I've picked myself up for the last time.'

  'Hey, petty, a smile!’

  'I can't smile,' sighed Lucie.

  'Yes, you can, for the cameras.' Sarah grabbed for Lucie's hand and held it. 'Whatever happens in life, Lucie, we have to be sure we do the very best we can.'

  When Julian rang her his voice was subtly shadowed with some overtone. 'Are you coming to see Camilla dance Ley-Ah?'

  'I don't think I care to.'

  'You care.'

  For a full moment there was silence, just a humming of the wires.

  'Julian, my torment,' sighed Lucie.

  'She's no good.'

  'What does it matter?'

  'It matters a lot.'

  'The audience won't know—most of them anyway. Camilla is outstandingly good. If she doesn't identify with Ley-Ah to your satisfaction, you've had no difficulty giving her the role.'