Flip My Life

by Jennifer Foor

  It’s time to give her son the future he deserves. Clarke wants Tyler to have a dad he can count on to take him to ball practice, teach him how to fish, and most importantly depend on. Tim wants the title. He wants children, a whole house full. The idea of that life seems hard to imagine when she’s been struggling her whole life. Nothing good ever happens to her. Clarke fears Tim will be another person she has to let go of if she can’t learn to be optimistic and hope for the best. Her fears haunt her, and until she can eradicate the negative thoughts, she’s doomed for doubt.

  One week ago she learned of the passing of Eli’s father. The past seven days have been a blur. At first it was the fear of Eli coming back to town.

  Six years ago Siobhan relayed his message. He didn’t want to be a father to his child. He’d told her that he’d changed his mind. It didn’t make sense back then, and still doesn’t now. Clarke knows what they shared was special. She’s wondered if maybe she never knew the real Eli, or maybe being a father scared him so badly he felt like she was trying to trap him. Whatever the case, she fears he’ll show up on her door wanting to be a part of Tyler’s life. Even if he wanted nothing to do with him at conception, things change. Maybe she’s partial, but Clarke feels like Tyler is the cutest little boy. He’s kind and loves nature. When he smiles all of her fears subside. He’s the best part of Eli, and for that she’ll be forever grateful. He may have stripped her of her dreams, but he left a piece of him behind that Clarke isn’t ready to share.

  As the days pass, so does her worry. The longer it goes without a word from him, the least likely he’s to come knocking on her door.

  Unfortunately, Tim is suspicious of something going on. Just this morning he confronted her, asking what was on her mind. As much as Clarke wanted to tell him the truth, she refused to bring up Eli. To this day she’s never told him about Tyler’s paternity. For the longest time people suspected but never asked. Eventually it was easier to make up a different father than to admit the child belonged to Eli. People from school could assume all they wanted, but the lie she’d made up forced them to reconsider. She’d told everyone she’d cheated on Eli, and that’s the reason he left. It made her less of a victim, and at the time she needed all the help she could get.

  Clarke remembers the time she ran into Elias Sr. at a community event. He looked into the eyes of the boy and had to know he was his grandson, but never asked the burning question.

  Now Clarke regrets not telling him. He’d been a good man, a gentle soul. Having always felt responsible for Eli leaving, Clarke knew she could have given the man a piece of his son, but selfishly kept him a secret. She’d even gone as far as leaving the father on the birth certificate blank, even when she knew it made her look like a whore. It was much easier than admitting the real father had left her high and dry when he discovered she was carrying his child. What kind of immature coward does such a thing? That’s the question she’s asked herself each time she sees her son.

  Tim slips out onto the deck of his small two bedroom apartment. “Hey, babe. It’s getting ready to pour. What’re you doing out here?”

  “Just appreciating the quiet.”

  His warm hands find her shoulders and begin to massage them. “Are you having doubts about us?”

  Clarke turns and flashes a worried grimace. “Of course not.” She pulls him by the hand until he’s facing her. “I’m sorry. My head is all over the place. I think the wedding and house hunting is getting the best of me.”

  “Do you want to put the wedding planning on hold?”

  Her head shakes back and forth. “No.” Looking him straight in the eyes, Clarke reassures the man she loves. “You and I are going to get married as soon as possible. Nothing will change that. I’ll be fine.” The last thing Clarke wants is to jeopardize her relationship with Tim over fears of seeing Eli. Tim is forgiving. He’d understand and be supportive. “I’m sorry for being distant this week. Someone I know passed away. I missed the funeral, and it’s just been bothering me.” At least a little of the truth makes her feel less sneaky. When she’s ready she knows she’ll tell him all about Eli. First she needs to make sure he’s never coming around.

  Tim kisses her on the forehead. “Your phone has been blowing up inside. I think it’s Abigail. Do you think they want you to pull another double shift, because I’m okay if you quit that job. They work you too hard.”

  “No. I’m sure it’s something ridiculous.” Clarke stands and straightens her yoga pants before heading inside. A couple days ago she told Abigail a little about Eli’s father, which led to some details regarding her relationship with his son. She’s worried she might have ran her mouth to someone like Joe, another employee of the diner. He graduated two years before her, but is familiar with people from town. If Joe finds out Eli is back, he’ll never let her live it down. She dials back her friend and hears her voice on the other end of the line.

  “Clarke, oh my God, you’re never going to believe who just walked out of here.”

  “Who? Is it someone famous?”

  “No. Joe said it’s Eli Jr. He came in for lunch looking all hot and sexy. He and Joe started shooting the shit, so of course I was curious. I couldn’t believe it when he told me who the guy was.”

  “Are you sure? He was in the diner?” Clarke knows it was Eli. Her Eli. They’d frequented the diner. He was a sucker for steak subs and fries. Obviously some things haven’t change.

  Her stomach is in knots when Abigail assures her of her certainty. “It was him. Girl, he’s smokin’. You were one lucky chick in high school. I envy you.”

  The queasiness continues as she listens to her friend go on and on about Eli’s looks. She keeps calm as she responds to her friend. “I appreciate you telling me. I guess my hopes of him leaving after the funeral didn’t work out.”

  “Are you okay? I’ve never seen you so upset about a person before.” She stops talking for a moment. “Wait a minute. Holy shit. Is he Tyler’s father? Is that what this is about? Does Tim know?”

  Clarke moves into the bedroom and closes the door behind her before answering. “Abigail, calm down. Please. I can’t talk about that right now.”

  “Lucy, you have some explainin’ to do,” her friend mocks.

  “I will, just not today. Thanks for telling me.”

  “Joe said he asked about you.” Now Clarke feels as if she’s going to puke. After all these years he’s never reached out to her. Not one email or message on social media. She keeps her account private to protect people from seeing pictures of her son, but a message would get through to her. There hasn’t been a phone call or written letter. No word for six years and now he’s asking about her. It makes no sense.

  “I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  This reminds Clarke of how she felt in the beginning of her pregnancy. After she’d made her mind up to keep the baby, she feared he’d come along and give her an ultimatum. After some time things got easier. She let her guard down and eventually stopped worrying about him ever stepping foot in town. Clarke couldn’t have known his father would die of a heart attack in his early fifties, or that his death would bring home his long lost son. All she cared about was making sure he left and went back to where he came from before he could set eyes on Tyler. Maybe she was being selfish, but she didn’t think Eli had the right to come into Tyler’s life now. He’d done nothing for the boy. Just because his sperm help create the boy didn’t make him his father. If anyone deserved the title it was Tim.

  Thinking about her fiancé calms her nerves. Tim won’t let anyone hurt her. She has to find comfort in knowing that. The only thing Clarke needs to do is steer clear of town and work until she knows Eli is gone for good. Only then will she be able to breathe easily again.

  Chapter 8

  Eli stands back and looks at the mess he’s made with the dilapidated back porch. The support trusses were rotten causing the center of the roof to cave in. He knew it was only a matter of time before it caved in and potentially kil
led someone.

  Truth be told, he’d been looking for reasons to get out of the house for a couple days. Ever since Michelle showed up Siobhan was acting like they were a happy family. She’d been bringing Jonathan by every night in hopes that they’d bond. Since Michelle was constantly badgering him about reconciling with his long lost family, Eli felt it necessary to oblige until he was able to figure out.

  As much as he appreciates the support, because let’s face it, he’s been a wreck, he can’t shake the annoyance he feels that she’s inserted herself into his business. For the time being, until the estate changes are made and settled with the lawyers, Eli has no choice but to remain in town and keep himself occupied.

  What’s even more upsetting is the fact that not one person had mentioned Clarke. At first Eli thought it was because she’d left town for bigger and better things, but after a visit to the local diner, he learned she’s still living nearby.

  Now Eli can’t get the conversation with his old friend Joe out of his head. Something was off when he asked about Clarke. Joe was withholding something from him, but he didn’t know why. All he needed to know was that she was happy with her life, but Joe continued changing the subject as fast as the questions came out.

  Settled on the fact that she was alive and well, Eli left the diner set on leaving things be. A part of his heart will always be empty when it comes to what they lost. What really rubs him the wrong way is knowing his father’s death affected everyone in town. He was a good citizen and did a lot for the community. Everyone at the diner knew of his heart attack. That being said, at any time Clarke could have paid him a visit, even if it was to give him a piece of her mind, but she hadn’t. It says a lot about where they stand, and how some mistakes can’t be rewritten.

  Eli continues working on the porch, mounting new concrete stabilizing posts into the ground, and framing out the new structure. He’s decided to place railings around the edges for safety in case someone with small children decides to buy the place.

  As of right now he’s still up in the air about selling his childhood home. Eli knows his life is in Louisiana, but this is where he came from. It’s what his father wanted him to have.

  While he contemplates his options, Eli has decided to fix up the old home. He plans on gutting most of the rooms down to the framing and remodeling it into a semi-new house with new clean lines throughout. He feels obligated over the job, as if it’s saying he’s sorry.

  He also made some changes to the way the estate and accounts were to be distributed. Eli gave Jonathan half of all of the inherited money. He’s having his attorney draw up the paperwork so that it can go into a trust fund he’ll get when he’s eighteen. Siobhan isn’t happy. She’s furious she can’t touch the money, not that she was entitled to a dime of it. For all Eli knows, she was the reason his father had the heart attack.

  While awaiting a call from the legal advisor, Eli finishes up what he can on the porch and goes inside to shower and change. He enters through the kitchen and hears Michelle talking. When he rounds the corner he finds her on the phone with someone. She’s going over the details of the home, how many bedrooms and bathrooms and an estimated square foot overall. Then she proceeds to tell the person on the line that they can stop by and take measurements. It immediately causes his blood to boil. He yanks the cell phone from her grip and ends the call. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “I was talking to the real estate agent. He knew your father and said he has someone who might be interested in buying it as is. Don’t you want to know what the house is worth before you do all this work? Why spend money on it if you can make enough now?”

  “It’s not your decision to make. This is my house! It’s my choice what happens to it. If you have a problem with that then there’s the door. Pack your shit and go home.”

  Michelle places her hands on her hips as Eli watches her bottom lip tremble and tears forming in her eyes. “That’s exactly why I made the call. I want us to go home, and I’m afraid you’re never going to want to leave. I hear you up in the middle of the night. You miss it here. This place is beautiful, but it’s not home anymore. We have lives back in Louisiana.”

  “You have a life in Louisiana. Right now I’m not sure where I need to be.” When the words trail off his lips he can see the fear in her eyes. Eli has admitted he’d not prepared to leave Georgia and with that comes the realization that he may not be as committed to their relationship as she had hoped. Add the fact that he lied about having family and Michelle becomes over emotional. She breaks into a crying fit and swiftly leaves the room, locking herself in the upstairs office.

  The Marine in Eli tells him to send her packing and end things before he’s too invested. It’s obvious he’s in no position to contemplate feelings and where to go with his relationship with Michelle. Caring about someone, and promising them a future are two different things. The other part of him wants to apologize. He’s got something good with Michelle and shouldn’t let his emotional pain get in the way of what they have together.

  Before Eli is able to get up the stairs, he hears a car pulling up the driveway. After checking on the boy, who is captivated by his video game, he heads onto the front porch to see who it is.

  Nothing could prepare him for this visitor.

  Eli crosses his arms and leans against the front pillar. He takes her in for the first time in six years. It’s hard to wrap his head around being apart for so long. Seeing her again makes it feel less long. She’s just as beautiful as the last time she was in his arms, but something is different. A lot is different.

  Her appearance has changed, but he’d recognize her anywhere. Her hair is a different color, and she’s not as skinny as she used to be, but not in a bad way. Her curves only accentuate all the right places. As much as Eli knows he’s being shallow with his gaze, he can’t keep his eyes off of her. Nothing could stop him from taking in every inch of her like it’s the first time ever.

  Clarke stops dead in her tracks when her eyes meet his. It’s like she’s seeing a ghost. All these years and she’s never heard a peep from him. Of course he’d come back to bury his father, but why he’s still here concerns her. For all the years she’s thought of giving him a piece of her mind, Clarke struggles to say a single word.

  She’s taken back by the man he’s become. No longer thin and needing to mature into a man, Eli exhibits a fit physique in every sense of the word. He’s more handsome than she ever remembers, and for a split second she imagines a what if scenario playing out. It’s quickly shook off when she realizes it’s inappropriate.

  It’s not until they’re standing face to face when the two share an awkward moment of silence. Clarke can’t be sure, but she senses a pain in those eyes that once promised a future. Fidgeting with the pockets of her skirt, she bites down on her lip until the pain reminds her this isn’t a dream.

  “Eli.”

  “Clarke.”

  More silence.

  Eli clears his throat and steps off the porch, breaking the distance between them. It would be so easy to pull her into his arms and promise to never walk away again, but he has a feeling she’s here for something entirely different.

  “I’m sorry to hear about your father.”

  “Yeah, me too. It was unexpected.” It’s hard to be so close to her. After all this time he feels a tug at his heart that no other woman has ever been able to get from him. He scans the yard instead of looking at her longer. “Had you seen him lately?”

  Clarke wants to feel something for Eli. She can’t explain it. She knows her life has changed. This person standing in front of her abandoned him, yet she can’t help from wondering what could have been. “No. He hasn’t come into the diner in a while. He used to, before he retired. He was always such a nice man, always friendly. Your little brother reminds me of you when you were his age.”

  Eli’s eyes widen. Right away he feels the same guilt that forced him to leave town. He’s finally standing in front of the per
son whose heart he shattered, but he can’t find the words to apologize, or come up with a reason to bring up their lost love.

  He avoids eye contact and sees something that shatters his soul. There’s a rock on her left ring finger. The large diamond means she’s not visiting to rehash old wounds. Seeing her is like a kick to the balls. Things could have been different. They should have been. But they can’t go back. It’s impossible.

  Then he hears the door behind him. Michelle steps outside, followed by her son. “Mom, who’s here?”

  Right away Eli can tell Clarke is confused. She looks from him to Michelle and then back to him before responding. “I’m a friend of your dad’s. I was just telling him I was sorry to hear about your grandfather.”

  Of course she’d think he was Eli’s child. He starts to correct her when he feels Michelle’s arms fastening with his. “We appreciate you stopping by. Did you want to come inside? I can make some coffee.”

  Clarke backward steps until she almost trips. “No. I have somewhere I need to be. I won’t take up any more of your time.”

  Before she’s in her car Eli has pulled away from Michelle and offered her a dirty look. He’s walking toward the vehicle as it pulls away. He throws his arms in the air and hunches over feeling defeated. He knows he screwed up, and after Clarke got wind of Michelle she hightailed it out of there.

  Eli’s furrowed brow let’s Michelle know she overstepped, but she doesn’t back down. The southern momma waltzes over and sticks her finger against his chest. “Who was that?”