Something inside of Eli cracks. “Yeah, me too. I’ll tell you a little secret, he’s always with us in here.” Eli takes a finger and pokes it where Jonny’s heart sits. “We keep him alive inside of us.”
“Why didn’t you ever come over before?”
“Well, for a while I was defending our country. Do you know what that means?”
When the boy shakes his head Eli explains what a Marine is and does. Then Jonny wants to know about being a soldier, so Eli tells him all about it, keeping the story clean and less freighting.
It’s not surprising that when it’s time to go to sleep, Eli feels a little body cuddle up next to him. Without a second’s thought he pulls the child closer and embraces him while he falls asleep. The last thing the child manages to say causes Eli’s eyes to tear up. “I love you, Eli. You’re the best.”
Arriving home to Michelle’s familiar vehicle in the driveway dampers Eli’s good mood. He’s faced with a dilemma that’s not going to end well. Her surprise visit has terrible timing. When she sees little Jonny jump from the truck and run inside she feels jealous. Michelle has wanted Eli to bond with her own son this way, and although they’ve made progress, she can tell with one look in her lover’s eyes that he genuinely cares about the boy. She approaches Eli, wrapping her arms around his body before he’s able to offer. Her head falls against his chest. “I missed you, babe. You haven’t been checking in.”
“You knew where I was,” he coldly replies while prying her off of him. “I took Jonny camping. We didn’t have service.” It’s a lie. He had full bars the whole trip. It was one of the stipulations Siobhan had about them going off into the wilderness.
“Are you sure that’s all it is?”
Disregarding the fact that Jonny is standing somewhere close, Eli realizes he can’t keep doing this to Michelle. She’s a good person and it’s not fair to keep leading her on. Even if he plans to return to Louisiana, he knows that he’ll have to travel to see Jonny too much to expect her to understand and be okay with it. “Look, the truth is, this is my home. It’s where I grew up, and this guy asked me stick around. I haven’t done a good job being there for him, so I have a lot of making up to do. I’m not sure if I’m coming back to stay in Louisiana.”
“But your house. What we have.”
Eli tries to be compassionate. “You’re welcome to stay in that house. The mortgage is paid for. Just keep up with the utilities and let me know if something goes wrong. I’d like for someone I know and trust to take care of it for me. Maybe somewhere down the line we’ll draw up a contract, or perhaps you’ll want to eventually take it off my hands.”
“Just like that? I drove all this way and you’re telling me we’re over? What about active duty? Are you going to expect to stay with us when you have to report?”
“No. I’ll stay on base. I’ll put in for a transfer so I won’t have to commute. I want to make this as easy as possible.”
Her hand comes across his face before he’s able to react. Eli takes the blow and keeps his stature as his eyes narrow in on the woman he’s obviously hurt. “Asshole! I knew this would happen. It’s that woman, isn’t it? You came back for her? That’s why you sent me away. You’re just like the rest of them. No good.”
Before she can shove him, he grabs both of her arms and holds her closer. She falls into him and begins to bawl. Eli turns to Jonny, who’s watching it all go down. “Go on inside, kiddo. Everything’s going to be all right.”
Once he knows the child is safely inside the house, he peers into Michelle’s sullen eyes. “I know this hurts, but don’t accuse me of shit you know nothing about. There’s no one else. Not like you’re thinking. That kid I just sent in the house, well he’s not my brother, Michelle. He’s my son.” He waits and lets the words sink in. “I’ve been in denial for a long time, but I’m ready to step up and be what the boy needs. You can call me a liar and a cheater, but I won’t let you taint the way he sees me. Calm yourself down and come inside. You’re welcome to stick around. I have no qualms with you. We had a good run, and I think you’re a fine woman, but I have other priorities I need to put front and center. Being a parent, I’d think you’d understand.”
She nods, sniffling as a reply comes out. “How is he your son?”
“Long story. Drunken night. Evil step-mom.”
“That’s horrible.”
“Try living it. Trust me, it wasn’t a mutual kind of event. It’s the thing nightmares are made from.”
Michelle gasps and chokes on her tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose it. It’s just hard because I love you. I wanted us to work, but I could tell you were slipping away, even before your dad passed.”
“It’s not anything you did. I’m fickle. I’ve been on my own for a while now, and sharing my space and my time is difficult. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I don’t remember how.” He strokes the side of her face. “I appreciate the time we shared together. You know how to make a man feel great.”
“Just not the one I want to keep.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t be in two places at once. It’s time I stopped running and fixed what I broke years ago.”
Eli puts his arm around Michelle and leads her inside. He doesn’t want her driving off in her condition. The company would be nice. He’d even enjoy some alone time before she heads out, if she’s up for it. After all, he has needs. He’s comfortable with Michelle. If only women could compartmentalize. Sometimes sex is just sex. It doesn’t have to mean anything.
Eli finds Jonny in his bedroom. He’s lying face down on the bed in tears. As he gets closer the child looks up at him. His bottom lip protrudes. “What’s up, buddy? I thought we were having a good time.”
“Are you going to leave again?”
Eli smiles. “No. I’m staying put.”
“Do you promise?” A rush of energy flows through the kid. He sits and eagerly waits for confirmation.
“Yes. I promise. I’m not going anywhere, not when my new best friend wants me to stick around.”
Jonny hugs him, and Eli reciprocates. In all of his life he’s never felt more content. This is where he belongs. It’s where he has to stay.
Chapter 19
Clarke keeps her eyes closed like Tim asked. She’s so excited she can barely contain herself. It’s not every day that a house comes up for sale that has so much they’ve been searching for. They've been driving for about fifteen minutes and the anticipation is killing her. All Tim said was that it's an estate sale that hasn't gone on the market. He said it needs a lot of work, but has good bones. It has everything on their checklist and more, plus it's on a good amount of land.
With Tyler in the backseat being a good distraction, Clarke loses track of twists and turns along the way. "Is the realtor meeting us here?" She inquires.
"Supposed to be. He said he's pretty certain we can convince the owner to sell. It’s an estate sale.”
Tyler speaks up from the backseat. “Whoa, is that the place?”
“Yeah, man. Pretty cool, huh?”
“Mom, open your eyes, there’s a tree house.”
When Clarke hears the excitement in her son’s voice, her eyes shoot open to reveal a house she’s not only familiar with, but one she’s spent quite a lot of time in. Before she’s able to protest, Tyler jumps out from the back seat and runs toward the back yard. Clarke turns to confess to Tim that this is not a house they can buy when she spots two things that send her into panic.
Eli comes around the corner of the house carrying some tools and materials.
Tyler barrels into him from not paying attention.
She steps out of the car and watches like it’s playing out in slow motion. The tools dropping to the ground. Eli looking around for the culprit. A confused look crosses his face. He stares at the boy.
She’s now running in their direction, so fast she can hardly catch her breath. Once there, she shields the boy’s body with her own. “Eli…”
“That’s
not Jonny.” He seems like he’s asking instead of making it known. Clarke knows the boys look alike, enough that in a split second they could be confused for one another. After all, they’re blood related, possibly even brothers. “I can explain.”
Tim comes to stand beside her. He reaches his hand out to Eli, unaware what’s going on. “Sorry about my boy, he gets excited and clumsy. My name’s Tim. The real estate agent was supposed to meet us here. This is my fiancée, -.”
“Clarke,” Eli answers for him. “We go way back.” He’s not taking his eyes off of Clarke, and she can’t think of a single thing to say to make this situation better.
Tim is confused. He looks from Eli and then back to Clarke. It hits him suddenly. “This is the guy? The one from your past?”
Clarke nods, tears filling her desperate eyes.
“Tim, do you mind giving us a second?”
At this point Tim doesn’t know what to do. He’s well aware Eli is seeing Tyler for the first time. He knows Clarke is about to lose it.
Eli is staring down the barrel of a gun. He feels the air being sucked out of him. It's not possible. It can't be.
Clarke is acting afraid. Why would she do that if she has nothing to hide?
He's running through the conversations they had, his confessions to her, her possible forgiveness, but never once was a child mentioned. It's unreal, impossible in every way. Someone would have told him. His father, Siobhan, someone.
"I need you to tell me what's going, Clarke. Tell me I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing."
Her tears only prove her guilt. "Eli, I'm..." she wipes her face and turns to guide the boy to stand in front of her. "Tyler. This is my son, Tyler."
She turns to Tim, who is wondering how this is going to play out. He tries to put himself in this other man's shoes and it's unimaginable.
Clarke holds onto her son's shoulders like there's a chance she'll lose him if she lets go.
There's a moment of silence before Eli crouches down in front of Tyler and looks him in the eye. Tim can feel a tightness in his throat as he witnesses a man seeing his son for the first time. It's so powerful he can't begin to interfere. He places his hand inside of Clarke's and hopes to hell she won't pull away.
Tyler starts to get antsy. He has no idea what's going on, and why some strange man is kneeled down in front of him with real tears falling down his cheeks.
When he turns to look at his mother he discovers the same reaction. She’s distraught and stumbling on words. Seeing her this emotional makes him uneasy and terrified.
Tim senses that it may be too much, and inserts himself in the situation. “Why don’t we go check out the playhouse while Mommy talks to her friend?”
Neither Clarke nor Eli protest when Tim takes the boy by the hand and walks away. It’s hard for him to leave Clarke, but the boy’s best interest is at stake, and if he knows Clarke like he thinks he does, he’s well aware she wouldn’t want Tyler to witness what’s about to go down.
Eli stands, towering over Clarke. His pained eyes give her an idea of how ugly this is about to get. “All these years, never once did you try to contact me.”
“Siobhan told me you knew about the pregnancy and wanted me to get an abortion. That’s why I never said anything to anyone. I thought you left because you were upset with me over the pregnancy. It’s not until I learned your side of the story when I realized we’d both been lied to.”
“I can understand that you believed what she said to be true, but what the hell, Clarke. I’ve been back for weeks. You’ve sat right in front of me and heard me pouring my heart out about Jonny, all while knowing damn well you had just as big of a secret. Did my dad know?”
She shakes her head. “No. I told people I didn’t know who the father was. He was so distraught about you leaving and then having a baby at home that he never once questioned it. He barely said two words to me when he saw me, and never asked about my child. You need to understand that I don’t flaunt my child around. I’d do anything to protect him.”
“The boy has family he doesn’t even know about. What did you tell him? Does he think his father is dead? Is that guy he’s with who he calls Dad?”
“No. Tim has nothing to do with this. You have to believe me. I wanted to tell you. We talked about it last night. I was going to arrange a meeting where I could explain it in a way you’d understand.”
“All I know is that you lied to me. I’ve been gone all these years and come home to find that I have not one, but two sons I knew nothing about. Do you have any idea how it makes me feel? How terrible it is that I’ve never had the opportunity to voice my opinion? I left to protect the people I love. I come back to be screwed royally by the one person in the world I thought I could trust.” Eli shakes his head, ignoring the tears dripping down his cheeks. It’s all too much to handle. He feels like he could punch his fists through the beams supporting the new porch. He’s so angry he wants to say things to Clarke that will cause her to want to run as far away from him as she can, with her child in tow.
Eli points right at her. “From this moment on, I’m going to know everything, do you understand?”
She nods, a uncontrolled weep bellowing out. “I’m so sorry, Eli. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Well you did. This cuts like a knife, Clarke. This is the worst I’ve ever felt in my life.” He looks out in the yard when he hears the boy playing and laughing as if nothing is wrong. He’s nothing but a stranger and it appalls him. It’s not fair. He’s been gone for six years, not twenty. How could he not have known about Clarke’s condition? Why didn’t she go straight to his father and demand help? What made her think she’d be better off raising him alone?
Eli takes a step back and shakes his head. He’s upset, sick to his stomach, and enraged all at once. As a Marine he learned to think before making a rational decision, but this is beyond the extent of his ability to remain calm and collected. He’s a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.
A local real estate agent who’s been contacting Eli about his house pulls into the driveway. Eli ambles over to his car and prevents him from getting out. “This house isn’t for sale, and it’s never going to be for sale. Get off my property before I make you leave.”
His threat warrants a fast reaction from the innocent bystander. He backs down the long driveway and pulls away.
"Obviously your boyfriend knows who I am. What were you going to do when the kid gets older and sees his birth certificate? What then?"
"I didn't list a father."
Clarke knows this only digs her grave deeper. She lowers her head and stares at her trembling hands. The man in front of her is someone she loved deeply. She would have married him if he'd only stuck around and asked. To this day there's something between them.
"Siobhan did a shitty thing to save her marriage, but this coming from you, it's fucking low, Clarke."
"I was scared. You show up back in town after years of not a single word. I didn't know what you'd be capable of."
"You know me. I'm the same guy. I'd never hurt you, not like that. Not like you've just done to me."
"Don't do that. Don't judge me and put words in my mouth."
Eli grits his teeth and speaks full of rage. "Take your little family and get the hell off of my property. From now on we're going to communicate through an attorney. I'm done with this shit. My sons are going to know me. They're going to know each other, and not you or Siobhan are going to be able to stop me."
Clarke quickly gathers her guys and rushes to their vehicle. As they pull away Tyler stares out at the strange man wondering what's going on. He has no idea he's just come face to face with his biological father, or that this won't be the last time they see each other.
It's not until Eli is back inside the privacy of his home that he breaks down and lets his emotions finally take control of him. He's devastated. He can't believe that he's had another son out there and never known. Furthermore, how Siobhan could have been so heartless that she co
uld rip Eli away from his unborn child. There's a special place in Hell for people like her, and Eli hopes she'll go there sooner than later.
Chapter 20
Clarke is beside herself with guilt. For the past twenty four hours she hasn’t gotten out of bed. With the exception of Tim’s family lawyer, she refuses to speak to anyone outside of her house. She’s been inconsolable, and as much as Tim tries to comfort and reassure her, nothing works. Her depression has left her lethargic. The swelling of her eyes is the worst it’s ever been. This pain hurts worse than what she experienced when Eli left town the first time. It’s worse because back then it was accompanied by anger, while now it’s remorse.
She should have told him. She could have several times. Clarke had every opportunity to share the news. Eli would have been overjoyed. What’s done is done. It’s no use. Eventually a letter is going to show up in the mail and she’ll have to face a judge in court, because she knows Eli is going to want to see his kid. It’s inevitable.
After four days Tim has a stack of paperwork and business to attend to. He puts Tyler on the school bus and checks in on Clarke before heading out himself. She’s promised she’ll be better when he returns in the afternoon. Tyler has a play date, so it will give them a chance to discuss what happens next. The adoption is off the table. Tim hasn’t even brought it up. In Clarke’s eyes, he’s taken Eli’s defense and she can’t blame him for it. The man deserved to know he was a father from the very first moment Clarke realized he’d been kept in the dark and lied to.
She’s only home for about an hour before she’s clawing her way out of bed with a plan to make this right. Clarke quickly showers and dresses in clean clothes before getting in her car and making the trek to Eli’s house.
She can hear the banging of a hammer when she steps from her vehicle and approaches the kitchen door. An air gun goes off, causing her to jump. In the distance she can hear the radio playing a commercial. Without knocking, Clarke enters and follows the sound. She finds Eli with his back turned to her. He’s wearing a pair of cargo shorts with big knee pads wrapped around his legs, no shirt, and a pair of construction boots. The loud sounds were coming from the planks of hardwood floor he’s putting down in the living room. She stares at the dark mahogany color and admires it’s beauty. From the craftsmanship of what’s done so far she knows Eli is skilled with his hands. He’s obviously done this type of work before.
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