Horizons (Horizons Series Book 1)

by Mickie B. Ashling

  JODY pulled up to the house that he’d seen only once. It was a quiet Saturday morning on a relatively mild January day. He was apprehensive, but he kept telling himself that this was the twenty-first century and people were more tolerant. He’d just have to convince Clark’s parents that he only had their son’s best interests at heart. If he could show them how much they loved each other, he was sure that they would understand and the threats would stop.

  He rang the doorbell and waited a few moments. Mrs. Stevens opened the door, and upon seeing Jody, moved to shut it, but he blocked it with his foot. “Please let me in,” he asked politely.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I’d like to talk to you.”

  “You need to leave,” she whispered frantically.

  “Who is it, Mary?”

  He heard Jim Stevens calling from inside the house, and sure enough, he was standing beside his wife in no time.

  “Doc! What a surprise!”

  “Mr. Stevens. May I come in?”

  “Of course. Is Clark with you?”

  “No, it’s just me.”

  “What are you doing in Folsom? Surely not making a house call?” Jim said, trying to make a joke.

  “No.” Jody smiled his reply. Mary watched in silent apprehension.

  “Please, come in. You want some coffee?” Jim asked.

  “That would be great.”

  They moved into the kitchen and sat at the table. The coffee was poured, the cream and sugar dispensed, and Mary sat down with them.

  “So, what can I do for you, Doc?”

  “I’ve come to try and tell you what’s going on.”

  “Is everything okay with Clark? I know he passed the English class, so that’s all good.”

  “Yes, he did great.”

  “Thanks to you,” Jim said easily. “He’d have never made it on his own.”

  “I think you underestimate your son, sir. No disrespect intended.”

  “None taken, Doc, but I know Clark. He’s not good in school.”

  “Clark is very intelligent; he just needed the right tools. He should have been put on medication years ago.”

  “I don’t see that it’s any of your business.” Jim frowned.

  “I disagree. As his physician, it is my business.”

  “Look, you’re not his regular doctor. You helped him out in the emergency room and with the English. That’s all. You know nothing about Clark, or what we’ve had to deal with all these years.”

  “Mr. Stevens, I’ve dealt with ADD before. There are numerous ways of helping him, none of which you’ve done.”

  “Don’t be telling me how I should raise my kid!”

  “He’s not a kid anymore. He’s an adult with ADD. He needs to go on meds.”

  “Bullshit! What gives you the right to tell me and my wife what to do?”

  “I’m in love with your son. I want what’s best for him.”

  “Excuse me?” Jim looked at Jody in horror, with the realization of what he’d just said finally sinking in. “You’re a fucking queer?”

  Mary reached out and touched him on the arm. “Jim.”

  “Did you know?” he asked, turning on her suddenly. “Did you know he was a fruit?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

  “I just found out.”

  “Who else knows? Does Clark know?”

  Jody shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and plunged. “Clark and I are lovers.”

  Jim stood, reached across the table, and grabbed Jody by the collar. He pulled him across the narrow expanse, knocking over cups and saucers, and spat in his face. “How dare you say that in my presence?”

  Just then the door opened, and Clark walked in. He looked completely distraught.

  “Dad!”

  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  “Let go of him!”

  “Do you know what he just said? He said he was fucking you!”

  Clark looked at Jody in alarm and then back at his father. “You must have misunderstood.”

  “There’s no misunderstanding here, boy! Are you or are you not having a relationship with this homo?”

  “Dad, please. Let him go.”

  Jim released Jody with a rough push, sending him sprawling backward. Clark caught him and held on with both hands.

  “Don’t touch him!” Mary shouted.

  Clark shook his head and wrapped his arms around Jody. “We need to talk,” he said quietly to his stunned parents.

  THEY were looking at both of us like we were bugs. My father couldn’t have been more disgusted if I’d walked in with lipstick and high heels.

  “You have got to be joking,” he said.

  “No. I’m gay.”

  “The fuck you are!”

  “I am, Dad.”

  “You’re not gay! It’s him.” He pointed his accusatory finger at Jody and stood, poised for a fight. The blood had rushed to his face, and I could see that he was using what little self-control he had, but his voice rose alarmingly as he continued his accusations. “This person beside you has turned you. You were normal until you met him!”

  “This person has a name,” I replied, doing my best not to lose my temper as well. It was the most difficult thing in the world for me to do. I would have preferred to take Jody in hand and walk out of this room, except nothing would have been resolved.

  “Dr. Williams is a deviant, and you need to steer clear of him! If anyone finds out about this, it’s all over.”

  “You mean anyone in football, right?”

  “Of course! What else are you good for?”

  “Right,” I said, with as much dignity as I could muster, while blinking away the tears. My father was an expert at pushing the buttons that made me sick to my stomach.

  Jody took my hand, offering me what little solace he could. I squeezed back and turned to my parents. “I know this is coming as a shock. I didn’t plan to tell you this way, but it’s out in the open now, so you may as well deal with it.”

  “There’s nothing to deal with. You’ll stop seeing him,” my father said firmly.

  “No, I won’t.”

  “You’d better, or I’ll fuck him up bad. We know how to deal with fudge-packers in prison. All it’ll take is one phone call.”

  “Are you threatening him?” I was incredulous again. This was the second time in forty-eight hours that a parent of mine had threatened Jody.

  “I’m not threatening! I’m telling you, point blank! Stop seeing him, or I’ll stop it for you!”

  “I need to speak with Jody in private,” I said, standing up and pulling Jody alongside of me. “Come on, Jo.”

  We made our way out of the house. I walked toward his car, and we stood there looking at each other in silence. Finally he said, “I’m sorry. I should have never come out here.”

  “It’s okay. This was bound to happen sooner or later.”

  “Kit, I love you. All I wanted was to make this easier for you.”

  “Jo. I’m not sure you can ever make this easier. You see what I’m dealing with.”

  “I do. I love you, Kit. I don’t know what else to say.”

  “Would you do me a favor and go? Let me speak with them alone, just the three of us. Maybe I can get through to them, try and make them understand.”

  “I’ll do whatever you want.”

  I kissed him on the lips and watched as he got into the car. “I’ll be waiting for you,” he said, unable to disguise the worry in his voice.

  “I’ll get there as soon as I can.”

  “Okay. Love you.”

  “Love you too,” I said, giving him another peck on the lips through the open window.

  He drove off, his license plate reminding me that I needed to stand firm. To be proud of who and what I was. I walked back to the house and opened the kitchen door, only to be yanked by the shirt and slammed against the wall by my father.

  “You fucking stupid son of a
bitch!”

  “Dad.”

  “Jim!” my mother screamed. “Please,” she started to cry, pulling at his arm and trying to move him away from me.

  “Let go of me, Mary!” he yelled at her, shoving her off him.

  “I saw you!” he threw out, the saliva flying out of his mouth, hitting me in the face. “I saw you fucking kissing him!”

  I started to shake, the rage coursing through me like an electrical current. My hands balled into fists, the nails digging into my skin. I itched to hit him; I wanted to tackle him up against the wall and hurt him the way he hurt me. It took every ounce of willpower not to.

  “Let go of me,” I said in a controlled whisper. “Let go of me before I do something dumb.”

  “Dumb? You’ve already done that.” He stepped back and shook his head. “Do you honestly think that you’re going to get away with this?”

  “Dad, I’m not trying to get away with anything. I just want to live my life.”

  He screamed. “Your life does not include being a homosexual. There’s no room for that kind of sickness in this family or in football! Do you understand?” By then his entire body shook, and he looked like he was about to have a stroke.

  Just as I was about to turn away, the door opened and Zach and Jason walked in. “What’s all the yelling about?” Jason asked. “Hey, bro.”

  “Hey.”

  “What’s going on?” Zach asked Dad.

  “Your brother has turned into a fruit.”

  “What?” Jason and Zach both looked at me in shock.

  “It’s true,” Dad said. “His boyfriend just left here.”

  “What boyfriend?” Jason asked, clueless.

  Zach chuckled. “I always knew you were fucked up.”

  “Shut up, Zach!”

  “Who is it?”

  “That guy who was over for Thanksgiving.”

  “No!” they said in unison.

  “Yeah, turns out he’s a big cocksucker.”

  “Does he give as good a blow job as Nikki?” Zach asked.

  I hit him, square in the face. I had to. My hand shot out and connected with his nose, and I heard the crunch, saw the blood, and watched as everyone scrambled to pull me away.

  “Fucker!” he screamed. “I’ll get you back.”

  “You shouldn’t have said that!” I yelled. “He’s done nothing to you.”

  “He’s ruining your chances at the big time,” Dad accused. “You think we’re going to give him a medal?” He helped Mom tend to Zach, who had a profuse nosebleed. She got ice out from the freezer and pressed it to his nose with a towel.

  “It’s my life and my career. Why are you all getting into my business?” My tears couldn’t be controlled, a default reaction to strong emotion. I was sorry I hit him, but sorrier still for his remark.

  “Listen up, kid.” My father came up to me and held my shirt, speaking in his deadly prison-guard voice. “I’m going to say this one time and one time only. You are going to play in the NFL. You owe it to us and to yourself. This is what we’ve been working toward all your life.”

  “Dad.”

  “Don’t fucking interrupt me! If I hear one whiff of anything, about you, about him, about being queer, there will be repercussions. Do you understand exactly what I mean?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good! Now, get the fuck out of here. I can’t stand to look at you!”

  THE drive home was as bad as yesterday’s, except there was a part of me that was relieved in a sick sort of way. It was finally out in the open, and I could stop making myself crazy over a decision that had just been taken away from me.

  Now the question was whether I would continue to play football. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I would keep on seeing Jody, my father’s threats be damned. We’d work something out, go into hiding or crawl into some closet, if necessary, but I wasn’t going to give him up.

  I stopped at In-N-Out Burger on my way, shoving the fries into my mouth and chewing on the cheeseburger mindlessly. It took my thoughts away from what had just happened. I wondered how long it would be before I heard from Jason. He and I were always close, and it would really hurt if he chose to shun me like everyone else. I knew that Zach would never forgive me, but it was par for the course. He and I had butted heads all our lives, so this was no surprise. As for Michael and Robby, who knew? I could only imagine what version of this story they would hear.

  Chapter 22

  “CLARK? It’s Jason.”

  “Hey! Where are you?”

  “We’re on our way to your apartment.”

  “Who’s we?”

  “Mike and I.”

  “How long before you get here?”

  “About twenty minutes?”

  “Okay.” It had been three days since the incident at my parents’ house, and Jason’s call was the first I’d heard from anyone.

  I was at home, doing laundry and sorting through mail that had accumulated. Jody had teased me, telling me I should just pack a bag and move all my shit to his house, but I resisted. Somehow it didn’t feel right to be mooching off of him.

  It was bad enough to be in debt to my parents. That had come as a total shock. All along I thought I was on a full scholarship. I should have known that my grades weren’t good enough to get me that kind of a free ride. Now I had to figure out a way to pay my parents back as soon as possible.

  If I was drafted into the NFL, the money would come easily. Aside from the yearly pay, there’d be an immediate signing bonus. That would get my mom and dad off my back and allow me to live my life without having to answer to them. If I got picked.

  My father’s words had not fallen on deaf ears. I knew he was right about rumors and how they could affect a potential career. I wasn’t that stupid to think that I could overcome those odds.

  I loved Jody. That wasn’t the question. The question was how to reconcile football and being gay. It was all too new, and even though we had the time in Chicago when everything seemed so perfect, I knew that I didn’t live in that kind of a world. A professional sport was a business, and football was one of the most expensive and vicious of them all. The scouts wouldn’t hesitate to drop me if there were one whiff of a problem.

  And being a homosexual was still considered a problem even in this day and age. I knew it, and so did my dad. If there were gay players out there, they were deep in the closet. The ones that had come out openly no longer played the sport.

  All the pros and cons had been consuming me since the meeting in Folsom. I felt like the ball in a pinball machine, finding a solution for one question, only to be blocked by another. It was driving me crazy, and Jody as well. He knew I was on edge. He’d apologized a million times for going to Folsom and outing me even though I’d reassured him and told him that it would have happened eventually. Of course, I would have preferred to have done it my way, but it was done, and I had to move forward, learning how to deal with the situation.

  My thoughts were interrupted by the buzzer announcing the arrival of the twins. I opened the door just as they got to the top of the landing, and we all stood there looking at one another like total strangers.

  “Well? Do I look any different to you?” I was expecting this meeting to go from bad to worse.

  “Come on, bro,” Jason said quietly.

  “You may as well say it now and get it out of the way. Do you think I’m a freak because I’m gay?”

  “Are you really?” Mike asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

  “Yes.”

  “How long have you known?” Jason asked. He seemed completely blown away by the whole concept of me being homosexual.

  “A long time… I just kept resisting it.”

  “Can’t you keep resisting?” Mike asked. “Maybe these feelings will go away if you try really hard.”

  “It’s not a sickness, Mike. It’s who I am.”

  “Shit, Clark! I feel like I’m on acid or something. This is going to take some getting used to.”

/>   “Since when do you do acid?”

  “I don’t! But I’m sure that if I did, it would feel as weird as this.”

  “Do you hate me too?”

  “Who hates you?” Mike asked.

  I could feel the tears close to the surface so I chewed on my lip, trying to keep it together. “Zach hates my guts, and Mom and Dad are ready to disown me.”

  “Fuck Zach.” Jason said. He grabbed me and pulled me tightly against his body. “I love you, no matter what you are.”

  He held me while Mike watched. I could tell that he was undecided for just one second, but something must have clicked in his head because he walked toward us and embraced me as well. “Oh, what the hell, man. You’re my fucking brother.”

  “Thank you.” Their confirmation of love made the tears spill down my face.

  “It’s going to be okay,” Jason said, trying to soothe me, the way he always did when I was a kid.

  “Can you promise me one thing though?” Mike asked, stepping back and looking me in the eye.

  “What?”

  “Don’t touch him when I’m around. That would be too creepy.”

  I laughed through my tears, and I grabbed him in a headlock. “I promise.”

  “Okay, is that it, then? You got any beer in this house?”

  I loved Michael. He never censored anything. He gave the words “open mouth, insert foot” a whole new meaning. Plus he never lied. My brother was as loyal as a dog, and just as ferocious when it came to protecting the people he loved. If he said that my being gay was okay with him, then I knew it was all good.

  We spent the next few hours watching the most recent James Bond movie. Mike was a great mimic, and by the time the movie was over, he was speaking in a British accent and strutting around like Bond. We had pizza delivered and polished off most of the beer I had in the fridge. All in all, it was a pleasant visit. I missed these guys so much. We were inseparable as kids, and the thought of being alienated from them was too awful to think about.

  Just as they were leaving, my phone rang. It was Jody, and I told him to come over and asked the guys to stay and wait for him. I wanted him to see that they were okay with this. It would reassure him that not all of my family members were homophobic pricks.