Echoes of the Heart

by Alyssa J. Montgomery

  She had to be strong. He wasn’t her friend, and she couldn’t take comfort from him. All his recent actions told her he was more interested in destroying her than supporting her, so his behaviour confused her.

  As thoughts tumbled through her mind, she stared unseeingly through the limousine window, willing her aunt to find the strength to recover.

  After what seemed to be the longest drive in history, the limousine pulled up at the entrance to the hospital.

  ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Amanda lashed out at Jake, venting her anxiety on him as he got out of the limousine and followed her toward the hospital entrance.

  ‘Coming with you to your Aunt Irene.’

  His quiet calm made her more agitated.

  ‘No! You’ve got no right to be here,’ she exploded. ‘My aunt is seriously ill.’

  ‘That’s why I’m coming.’

  ‘What do you want me to do?’ Hysteria surged through her veins and she waved her hands between them. ‘Waltz into her hospital room and introduce you as the man I’m being paid to have sex with for the next month?’

  ‘Amanda,’ he addressed her quietly, like she was an excitable child. ‘You’ve been biting your lip and chewing at your fingernails relentlessly since we left the airport. I know you’re worried sick about your aunt.’

  ‘Of course I’m worried.’

  He reached out, placed his hands on her upper arms and looked deep into her eyes. ‘You don’t have to face this by yourself.’

  The compassion in his face made her heart contract sharply.

  His hands slid down her arms to her hands and he covered them with his. ‘I know a little of what you’re going through. It was a harrowing experience when my father was in intensive care.’

  His empathy squeezed her heart. The softening of his expression made her want to cry. The caring in his eyes was unmistakable. There was no sign of the ruthless businessman who’d blackmailed her into spending a month in his bed and cut her to the quick with his insults. He was the Jake she’d fallen in love with. The man she’d felt so attuned to.

  ‘I’m thankful I didn’t have to go through my father’s crisis alone. I had my mum to worry with.’

  All the warmth around her heart turned cold.

  ‘Your mum and Sophie,’ she blurted in condemnation. ‘But you didn’t want me there when I offered.’

  His head tilted on an angle as he regarded her with a frown. ‘I did want you there, but I couldn’t have you.’

  ‘Of course not.’ Her anxiety over Irene’s condition was making her incautious in what she said, but she couldn’t stop herself. ‘It wouldn’t have done to be photographed publicly with some nobody from the western suburbs hanging off your arm, especially when your fiancée was available.’

  His face hardened.

  ‘Just stop your sniping for a moment and listen to me.’ There was an edge of impatience to every word. ‘My father had a heart attack when he and I were arguing about you.’ He put up a hand to stop her as she opened her mouth to speak. ‘No, he didn’t approve of my relationship with you, and under the circumstances it would have been highly inappropriate for you to be at his bedside with me, don’t you think?’

  His statement shocked her into silence. A multitude of questions bombarded her, begging to be answered. There was also the realisation that there may have been another perspective to consider when she’d been so hurt. Had he truly wanted her by his side? Confused and starting to feel guilt prick at her conscience at being the trigger for Mr Formosa’s heart attack, she shifted slightly from one foot to the other. Then, she remembered how hurt she’d been by the newspaper photo she’d seen of Sophie leaving the hospital with Jake. Who was Jake trying to kid that he’d wanted her there? He hadn’t needed her when he’d had Sophie to turn to for support.

  ‘I think, if my aunt knew about my role as your playmate of the month, she wouldn’t approve of my relationship with you. Under the circumstances, it would be highly inappropriate for you to be at her bedside with me, don’t you think?’ she threw back at him.

  His face was a mask of fury. ‘Just shut up, Amanda, and get going. If you really think I would drive off and leave you here by yourself, you’re wrong.’

  ‘I…I…’ Oh God, she wanted him with her. She didn’t want to be alone through this crisis. She ached for his support, but a voice in her head told her she would pay dearly if she trusted him.

  ‘You can’t meet her,’ she insisted, torn between getting rid of him and racing up to see her aunt.

  For a moment she thought he was going to argue the point but he inclined his head in a conciliatory gesture.

  ‘I’ll wait outside the room, but I will be there for you if you need me.’

  She breathed out. The emotional rollercoaster ride started all over again as her heart lurched and tears pricked her eyes.

  ‘Stop being so damned kind to me,’ she told him with an unsteady voice. ‘I cope far better with you when you’re being horrid!’

  How could she keep up her barriers against him when he treated her with consideration? This was the man she’d believed existed. The man she had fallen in love with and started planning her future around. Even as she needed him to be that man again, she worried at the thought. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t control her physical desire for him, but she needed to distance herself from him emotionally. It was easier to keep her emotional distance from the ruthless man he’d turned into. If he reverted to the man she’d met at Whale Beach, she’d be lost.

  Amanda’s vulnerability stabbed at Jake. Everything in him demanded he support her through this crisis.

  ‘I’m tired of being horrid,’ he said with a smile of self-derision. He pulled her into the circle of his arms, and brushed a tender kiss across her sweet, lush lips. ‘Let’s go,’ he urged, guiding her into the hospital.

  When he’d heard the phone, he’d suspected it was Middleton. On learning of her aunt’s stroke, he’d been transported back in time to his father’s health crisis. He knew how distressing it was to wait in intensive care—the nerve-wracking waiting and sense of powerlessness. There was no way he could let Amanda go through it alone.

  He stood beside her, holding her hand as she confirmed her aunt’s location with the staff member at the information desk.

  ‘I hate hospitals,’ she confessed with a shudder as they walked to the lifts.

  ‘You’re not the only one,’ he admitted. He’d rather be anywhere else. ‘The antiseptic smell reminds me of my father’s heart attack.’ It brought back the remorse he’d felt believing the argument he had with his father had been the cause of the attack.

  ‘Your father’s okay now?’ she asked.

  ‘His heart condition is being managed well.’

  Amanda tapped her fingers against her handbag in a nervous gesture. Jake realised her aunt must be facing an uphill battle. ‘When I met you, you told me about your aunt’s Multiple Sclerosis. Has the condition progressed much in the last couple of years?’

  She tensed beside him. ‘She deteriorated rapidly just after...She needed nursing home care two years ago because her condition worsened very quickly.’

  ‘You and your aunt have always been close, haven’t you?’ He remembered Amanda speaking about her aunt. He’d gathered the bond between the two women was strong and loving, but he’d been disturbed by the profound guilt Amanda carried about her upbringing. She’d told him Irene’s fiancé couldn’t accept her decision to raise Amanda and broke off the engagement. Irene had only been in her early twenties then and she’d never loved another man. Amanda believed she’d ruined her aunt’s happiness.

  ‘She’s my world,’ Amanda confirmed as the lift stopped at Irene’s ward.

  Jake was curious about the aunt who’d had so much influence on Amanda. Was Irene disappointed Amanda had sold herself in marriage to Bennett, or had her own experiences taught her not to trust in love? It was possible she’d instilled that attitude into Amanda. He wondered whether Irene h
ad such a hard time scrimping and saving to care for herself and her niece that she’d encouraged Amanda to secure her financial future through marriage to Bennett.

  ***

  Amanda was thankful for Jake’s strong presence outside the hospital room. A couple of hours ago, he’d sent one of the nurses in with coffee and sandwiches for her. All traces of antagonism had vanished as soon as he knew about her aunt’s hospitalisation, but it didn’t make sense that he was prepared to sit outside her aunt’s hospital room when all he wanted was the use of her body. His father’s hospitalisation must have left a lasting impression on him that he could empathise with what she was going through and put aside their differences.

  Irene looked fragile. Tubes from a drip were splinted to her arm. Leads were hooked into machines to monitor her breathing.

  ‘Amanda?’ Irene’s eyes fluttered open.

  ‘I’m here, Aunt Irene.’ Amanda leant closer.

  Her aunt sent her a weary, but amused smile. ‘I can see…that,’ she said in faint, jerky speech. ‘I’m not…prone…to…hallucin…ations.’

  Amanda smiled. Her aunt still had her sense of humour.

  Irene’s faded blue eyes skimmed over her. ‘You look…better. I…was…worried…’bout you.’

  ‘There’s nothing to worry about.’

  Irene had a coughing fit, and Amanda put her arm around her to sit her forward.

  ‘You should rest now.’ She arranged her aunt back against the pillows and kissed her pale cheek. ‘I’m here.’

  ‘You go…home. You rest. See you tomorrow.’ Irene’s eyelids closed again. Within seconds she appeared to be asleep. Even talking exhausted her. The Multiple Sclerosis had severely limited her respiration, making breath control difficult during speech.

  ‘She’s right,’ Jake said quietly from the doorway. ‘You need to rest.’

  The nurse who’d first shown them to Irene’s room appeared at the doorway beside Jake. ‘Visiting hours are over, Mrs Bennett, Mr Formosa. You’ll have to leave now.’

  ‘But —’ Amanda began to protest.

  ‘Your aunt isn’t critical,’ the sister continued. ‘She’s sleeping, and we’ll call you if there’s any change.’

  Jake walked toward Amanda and placed his hands on her shoulders. ‘The nurse is right. You’re exhausted.

  ‘I just think I —’

  ‘You’ll be no good to Irene if you’re run down.’

  His voice was gentle but commanding and she realised there was no room for negotiation.

  ‘The hospital has my home and mobile numbers so you can be contacted if you’re needed.’

  His numbers? Surely he didn’t expect her to become his lover under the circumstances. ‘Jake, I —’

  ‘Don’t argue, just come with me,’ he insisted.

  She cast a worried glance at her aunt, then at the nurse who was busy checking a chart.

  Jake reached out and enveloped her cold hand into the warmth of his. ‘Irene is settled, but you’re freezing.’

  Not for long, she thought as he brushed his lips over hers. Instant heat engulfed her, stirring her whole body to alertness.

  The kiss was probably meant to be comforting, but if she were hooked up to any electrical monitors, the nurses would call some sort of code. Medical staff would run from everywhere to see why her pulse was haywire and peaking off the charts. Jake’s presence in the same room made her heart thump more erratically but his kisses made her heart perform calisthenics in her chest.

  Jake secured his arm around her waist.

  ‘I don’t want to leave her,’ she told him in anguished tones.

  ‘Mrs Bennett, your aunt is stable,’ the nurse said firmly. ‘The medication I’m about to give her in her new drip will ensure she sleeps peacefully throughout the night.’

  ‘We’ll return early in the morning,’ Jake said.

  Outvoted, Amanda added her mumbled goodbyes to the nurse as Jake led her out of the room and to the lift. As much as she wanted to be with her aunt, she did see the sense in having a decent night’s sleep. Her eyes flew to Jake as they entered the lift and the doors slid closed. What did he intend?

  ‘What’s wrong, Amanda?’

  There was concern on his handsome face, compassion for what she was going through. Her heart tightened. She couldn’t cope with this—this taste of how things could be between them if they had a future together. Her heart plummeted to ground level faster than the lift.

  ‘You don’t have to drive me home. I’ll get a taxi.’

  His dark eyes zeroed in on hers. ‘I don’t think you should be alone tonight.’

  ‘I…I…’

  ‘I’m not suggesting you sleep with me, but I do want you to come back to my place where I can be there for you if you need me.’

  His broad shoulders lifted in a shrug. ‘I don’t want you to be by yourself, worrying about your aunt.’

  She was confused. Was he thinking of his needs or hers?

  ‘I can’t come with you.’ She searched for an excuse. ‘I’ve got nothing with me.’

  ‘Your luggage has already been taken to my home,’ he dismissed.

  ‘I have nothing suitable. I packed for the tropics.’

  ‘Okay,’ he conceded. ‘We’ll pick up some warmer gear from your place, but then you come with me. No arguments.’

  She hesitated for a few moments. The strain of the day was taking its toll. Exhaustion pervaded her body and all she wanted to do was sleep so she could build up her energy reserves to be with Irene again tomorrow. It seemed Jake understood that and wouldn’t force her to share his bed. That was surely a sign that he cared and that he respected her enough to give her space in this crisis? She should be pleased. Relieved. Yet part of her longed to lean on him, to lose herself physically in him so she could escape her concern about Irene. If only she could be held within his arms through the night as his partner rather than as his paid, temporary lover. Feeling the first prick of tears sting at her eyes, she pulled herself up sharply. This consideration from Jake only proved he wasn’t a completely unfeeling human. It was not an indication that she should repeat her mistake and begin to weave foolish romantic dreams about her. They were still worlds apart and always would be.

  ‘I’ll come with you,’ she finally agreed.

  Settled in the limousine, she gave Jake her address then watched his brows draw together in a fierce frown. Even in the dimly lit interior of the car she could see his face darken menacingly. She shrank back a little into the luxurious leather seat and waited for the storm to break.

  Chapter 7

  ‘You live in King’s Cross?’ Jake thundered.

  What the hell was Amanda doing living in Sydney’s seedy, red-light district?

  The smile she sent him was caustic. ‘I guess you think that’s an appropriate location for me.’

  His lips pressed together tightly with his disapproval. The closer they got to Amanda’s address, the angrier he became. The footpaths were full of punks with their coloured, spiked hair and leather jackets. In the doorways of buildings, hookers were scantily clad despite the cool weather. Most of them were probably drugged up to the eyeballs and didn’t feel the cold.

  ‘This is where you live?’ he asked in disbelief as they pulled up outside a building that looked like it probably should have been condemned years ago. It was located right next door to a methadone clinic.

  ‘We can’t all be billionaires,’ she stated wearily, opening the door before the chauffeur had a chance to.

  ‘Why didn’t you move in with Middleton?’ he demanded, angry that her lover should have abandoned her to this residence. ‘Does he know you live here?’

  The fire was back in her eyes as she rounded on him. ‘I will say this only once again, as you are obviously too thick to have taken it in the first time, or the second or third time. Hugh and I have never been lovers. He was Lloyd’s lawyer and my friend. At no time has he suggested becoming my lover, nor have I ever encouraged that.’ With that declara
tion, she walked briskly away from him.

  Yes, she and Middleton had both denied having an affair. It had been hard to believe because of Bennett’s suicide note, but Jake believed it now. Middleton seemed too decent a guy to have left Amanda living in this neighbourhood. This begged the questions as to why Bennett wrote the suicide note and why he killed himself. There had to be another reason.

  Jake pushed that thought to the back of his mind. He was appalled as he followed Amanda out on to the street and up a narrow set of stairs. This was a far cry from the luxury of Bennett’s Vaucluse mansion. She really had been doing it tough.

  They reached a landing and had to step around a male youth who reeked of alcohol and sat clutching a bottle in a brown paper bag. Another level up and Amanda stopped, took a key from her bag and opened a door to reveal a dingy-looking, cramped bed-sit.

  ‘Welcome to my humble abode,’ she announced defiantly. Not looking at him, she went to an old cupboard. As soon as she opened the door, it swung on one hinge.

  Jake stood in stunned silence as she removed several items of clothing and stuffed them into a shopping bag with angry movements. He found it difficult to believe this was where Amanda had been living since Bennett’s funeral. Paint peeled off the walls. Somewhere from a room above them, a man yelled profanities and a female screeched back at him. In a nearby street, a police siren wailed.

  His heart clenched in outrage. She would not return here. In the morning he’d have someone come to collect the rest of her gear and move it to his home. It wouldn’t take long. Apart from her clothing and a couple of photos, it appeared she had very few possessions.

  His steps faltered slightly as he registered he was determined to take charge of her life. To protect her.

  Why?

  The question taunted him and he gritted his teeth together. It was nothing personal—just a matter of basic human decency, he assured himself. Once, he’d loved this woman enough that he would have made her his wife. No matter what Amanda had done, no matter that she’d never been worthy of his love—she was vulnerable now and there was nobody else to look after her while she got through Irene’s health crisis.