Hope for Him (Hope Series Book #2)

by Sydney Aaliyah Michelle

  Jackson and I had entered new territory and the situation was more complicated than before.

  Jackson told me he loved me, and it was the most sincere and precious thing anyone had ever said to me. He sealed it with a kiss that made me feel everything he was feeling. Any woman would love to have this beautiful and amazing man profess his love for them, yet I couldn't enjoy it. Loving me wasn't in Jackson’s best interest at this time because loving me wasn't easy. And he needed easy.

  We walked back to campus in silence, holding hands and swinging them back and forth. I stared up at Jackson. The moon hit his strong jaw, and he had a look of pure contentment on his face. He walked with a steady and strong gait, and I had to take longer steps to keep up. We stopped at a street corner waiting for the traffic to clear, and he smirked and laughed.

  "What are you smiling at?"

  "You and your expressions." He kissed my forehead and pulled me across the street.

  "What do you mean, my expressions?"

  "You've gone from scared to confused to curious, all in three blocks."

  "What makes you think you can read me so well?"

  "I am completely in tune to what you’re thinking and feeling."

  I stopped. Jackson took two steps and jerked around.

  "How do you know what I think when I don't even know myself?" I released his hands and put mine in my pocket. I shivered from the chill in the air. Jackson pulled me into his arms, and I laid my head on his chest but kept my hands in my pockets and concentrated on not crying.

  "Carrington Olivia Butler. What's the point of fighting against what you already know you really want? It seems like the easy thing to do is give in and see what happens."

  "And what if what happens leaves me feeling empty, scared, and alone. I've done that before. Not fun."

  "Why do you assume the worst?"

  "Because that’s how it always ends," I whisper.

  Jackson stepped back and placed his arms on my shoulder. I lifted my head to meet his gaze.

  "You really think I’m going to hurt you."

  "No, of course not." I removed my hands from my pockets and placed them on his arms. "I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you."

  Jackson pulled me into his arms and squeezed me tight. I melted into the warmth of his body, and my chill went away. I relaxed against him, felt his arms around me, and held on to the possibility that this was supposed to happen. That Jackson and I had a chance.

  I liked the idea. A small warmth in my core simmered and spread out from there. I clung to the feeling and willed it to reach my mind. I knew it had captured my heart. It didn't make it any less scary, but fighting it seemed an impossible task.

  "Let me take you home," Jackson said as he rubbed my arms. He placed an arm over my shoulder and guided me toward my house. Kayla and Jack were at my house, and I wasn't ready for this night to end. The feeling was there, but I needed something else, another level of connection to match my resolve.

  "No." I stopped abruptly and Jackson let out a sigh in frustration. "Unless you meant your home."

  When we arrived at Jackson's place, I went in the living room. He trailed behind me and I felt his eyes on my ass. I caught him, and he blushed. I smiled to let him know I liked him checking me out.

  "You want something to eat, drink?"

  "No. I'm good."

  He walked into the kitchen and got a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. I leaned against the back of the sofa waiting for him to make his move. He stayed in the kitchen and drank the bottle of water down in two gulps.

  "You okay?" I asked.

  "Yeah, I didn't expect to have a sleepover tonight."

  "Oh, well, I could leave if you want."

  "No," Jackson said and shook his head. "I mean, if you want to stay, stay."

  I tilted my head and watched Jackson. He was nervous. So was I, but did a better job of hiding it.

  "Come here," I said.

  Jackson walked over and stood in front of me. Our bodies were inches apart, but I felt heat emanating from his. I placed a hand underneath his shirt and his abs tensed. Jackson no longer appeared nervous.

  His eyes darkened as his lips crashed onto mine. His tongue sought out mine, looking for a taste. He placed his knee between my legs and pushed them apart. I placed both my hands under his shirt and pushed it up. He grabbed it halfway and pulled it over his head. My hands looked so small on his broad chest. I broke the kiss to taste his skin. My lips landed on his sternum, and I licked his skin and kissed it. He tasted like salt but smelled sweet, my favorite flavor combination.

  I explored his chest with my hands and my lips, and Jackson had his hand underneath my shirt and pulled it over my head. He didn't bother to unhook my bra. He pulled the straps down and palmed the sides of my breasts. His hands traveled down my sides and around my back and in one smooth motion, he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around him. Face to face, I dove in for a kiss. I wrapped a hand around his neck in an attempt to pull him closer. He kneaded my ass as he walked us up the stairs to his bedroom.

  Jackson kneeled on the bed and deposited me in the center. I unhooked my bra as he worked on removing my jeans and underwear. When I was naked, he stood up and removed his clothes. I took this opportunity to move to the end of the bed and admire his body. I reached out for his hand and pulled him toward me.

  I held his gaze as I touched him. I wrapped my hand around him, and his eyes rolled back in his head, a groan releasing from deep within. I stroked him a few times, but when I tasted him, his eyes were focused as he watched me attempt to take him in. I ran my other hand up his chest, and Jackson took it and kissed it before holding it next to his heart. I thought my heart would beat out of my chest as he moved his hips and I licked and sucked. He was so hard, and I tried one more time to take him all in. He placed a hand behind my head to help, and at that moment, I didn't care that I couldn't breathe. My main goal was to make him feel good.

  "Oh God, Carrington." He twitched in my mouth, and I released him. He took in a deep breath as I stroked him.

  He leaned over and kissed me deep. His tongue explored my mouth, and it made me so hot. I scooted back on the bed, pulling him along with me. I wanted him inside me.

  Jackson had other plans.

  #

  Jackson Latre Mitchell

  Carrington blew my mind, among other things. When she pulled me into bed, I knew what she wanted, but I wasn't ready. I didn't want this to end so soon, and with the way I was feeling, I would have lasted about a minute inside of her. I needed to slow things down.

  I removed her hand from around me, kissed her hand, and placed it above her head. Her other arm followed as I wrapped my hand around both wrists and explored her body with the other. She spread her legs for me, as I knelt over her, kissing her neck. Her body looked amazing.

  She tilted her head to give me better access as I kissed down her neck and her chest. I took my time and kissed a trail down the center of her chest. I took one of her nipples between my fingers, and she moaned. Hearing her react to me made me happy. I smiled at the sounds her body made, and I couldn't wait to hear what type of sound my tongue would solicit from her as my mouth closed in on her other nipple.

  I wasn't disappointed. She arched her back. One of her hands got free, and she placed it on the back of my head. I moved over to her left side without lifting my tongue. I took her in my mouth as my hand traveled down her stomach. I stopped and she let out a sigh. I tongued her nipple, but she moved her hips, trying to coax my hand to continue its journey down her body.

  I smiled at the frustrated look on her face and gave her what she wanted. My hand reached between her legs and I touched her. She gasped and held on to my arm as I worked my fingers inside of her and my thumb massaged her from the outside.

  "Jackson." I moved up to kiss her before she could say anything else, our tongues seeking each other. She tried to hold on to my lips with hers, but they were making the trip down her body. I worked her up into a frenzy
.

  I made my way down her body and couldn't wait to taste her. She sat up on her elbows and my eyes found hers as my tongue slipped between her legs. My taste buds exploded, and I couldn’t get enough of her. Her mouth fell open and she let out a whimper as I alternated between my fingers and my tongue. I felt her body tense as she shook and screamed my name.

  Her breath rose and fell and a layer of sweat settled over her whole body. The light from the hallway reflected off her curves, and I took it all in. I watched her come down from her orgasm. I needed to grab a condom from my nightstand, but I didn't want to remove my hands from her body. Not for a second.

  "Condom?" she asked, reading my mind.

  "In the nightstand." I nodded to the one on the right. As she rolled over to find it, I slid up behind her and pressed myself into her perfect ass. It felt amazing over her clothes, but with nothing between her ass and my bare hand, I squeezed and she let out a giggle. It was sexy as hell, and I came close to ignoring the condom and sliding into her.

  She opened the condom wrapper and handed it to me.

  "Would I sound slutty if I told you to hurry up? I want you inside of me, now."

  "Yeah, but I like it."

  I rolled the condom on and my lips latched on to the back of her neck as I entered her. She reached back and placed a hand on my hip. I covered her hand as I slid in and out of her from behind. She moaned and I grunted and our sex symphony increased in speed and intensity. I pulled her face around so I could kiss her as I plunged into her, admiring her flexibility.

  At one point, she pulled away from my kiss, buried her head into the pillow, and screamed as she came. I tried to hold on as her body shook. I stopped moving and waited for her to come back down to earth.

  I pulled out and rolled her onto her back. Sitting back on my knees, my eyes widened as my hands roamed over her body. She grabbed my arm and pulled herself up as I brought her into my arms and pulled her into my lap. She wrapped her legs around my waist. I crawled us both up to the head of the bed and pressed her up against the wall as I entered her.

  She whimpered, my favorite sound in the world. If I could get her to make that sound every day for the rest of my life, I would be a happy man. Her brown eyes were moist and glazed over and her face glowed. She stared at my lips before leaning in to kissing me.

  I moved slow, trying to prolong it as long as possible, but it did no good. I couldn't hold back any longer. I pinned her against the wall, my body shook, and I forgot to breathe as I buried my head into her neck and held her close. She held on, too.

  She ran a hand through my hair and down my neck. When I regained control, I saw a tear falling down her cheeks.

  "Oh, baby," I said and wiped the tear away. I wasn't sure why she was crying, but I hoped it was happy tears. I leaned in to kiss her, but she stopped me.

  I searched her face for confirmation we were on the same page. I wanted her to talk to me. Tell me something to reassure me she felt the same.

  "Jackson Latre Mitchell." She gave me a soft peck on the lips and stared into my eyes. "I love you, too."

  Chapter Nineteen

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  I lay next to Jackson with his arms around me. His breath vibrated against my neck as he snored; I felt safe, secure, and normal.

  My phone rang from downstairs. I slid out of bed, grabbed Jackson's sweatshirt off the door and pulled it over my head as I went in search of my phone. I had missed two calls from Kayla.

  I called her back.

  "Hey. What's wrong? Is Jack okay?"

  "Yeah, of course. I was checking on you. I fell asleep on the couch and when you weren't back yet, I freaked out."

  "I'm at Jackson’s."

  "Oh." She breathed a sigh of relief and let out a scream. "Oh, my God. You and Jackson?"

  "Listen, don't get all excited. We had a nice time, but we decided to take it slow and see what happens. No pressure."

  “And then you had sex,” she said.

  “Yeah, something like that.”

  "I'm so excited for you."

  I leaned against the kitchen counter and felt a grin spread across my face. I was pretty happy for me, too.

  "Are you okay staying the night?" I asked.

  "What? It's like two am. Of course."

  "Am I being an irresponsible parent? Am I being a slut?"

  "No. Come on. Mommy needs lovin’, too."

  "Kayla, you're awesome." I laughed. "Okay, I'll be home after class. Kiss Jack for me."

  "Night."

  I headed back in the bedroom.

  “Oh wow. You scared me. Did I wake you?’

  I found Jackson sitting up in bed. He had the cutest grin on his face, and his hair was all messed up. He didn't speak, he just reached out for me and I hopped into bed and straddled his lap. Planting kisses all over his neck and cheek.

  "I thought you left, and then I heard your voice, and now I can't stop smiling."

  "You were amazing last night."

  "Thank you," he said as he placed his hands on either side of my head and kissed me. I placed my hands over his, laced my fingers with his, and kissed him deeper. I pulled his hands down and wrapped his arm around me. I loved the way he held me, and I couldn't get enough of his lips.

  "I wouldn't sneak out on you in the middle of the night."

  "No." He latched on to my neck with his lips, and it sent an electric pulse down between my legs. I wanted Jackson inside me. I pushed him back and reached in the nightstand for another condom as he grabbed the bottom of my sweatshirt and pulled it over my head. I pushed the covers out of the way, and Jackson was ready for me. I slid the condom on and moved over him. He slid into me and I stopped.

  I stayed that way for a minute, feeling him inside of me. He palmed my breast and massaged my ass, coaxing me into moving.

  When he came up for air from kissing my neck, he leaned back against the headboard and ran his hands up and down my body. He made tiny movements with his hips and I became short of breath and placed my hand on his chest to anchor myself when the orgasm hit me. His slight movement sent a wave crashing into me, and I held on for dear life.

  "God, you are so beautiful, right now."

  I leaned forward on my knees and sat back down on his lap and Jackson moaned. I didn't move for a minute, but leaned forward and sat back down, again. The tortured look on Jackson’s face was all the encouragement I needed to keep going. I teased him with steady movement but stopped, fascinated with a spot on his neck that I had to taste.

  "You are trying to kill me," he said after another frustrated sigh.

  "I don't know what you’re talking—"

  Before I could finish my sentence, Jackson grabbed my ass and pushed me back across the bed. He crawled between my legs and pushed himself into me. I gasped, and he pounded into me strong and steady. I felt the muscles in his thighs tense and he held my gaze until his whole body shook and he collapsed. I ran my fingers down his side and placed small kisses on his neck and shoulders. He attempted to sit up, but I pulled him back down. I wanted him to stay close to me and never let me go.

  I felt so lucky to have Jackson in my life, and I hoped he felt the same way, too.

  The space I'm in is pitch black, and I can't tell if my eyes are open or closed. I try to sit up, but huge hands are pushing me back down. I try to speak, but no sound comes out. My legs are free, but then pinned to the ground and pain is radiating from my center out through arms and legs, my fingers and my toes. I scream this time, but I sound weak. The panic in my voice scares me even more. I manage to move one hand, and I end up clasping onto someone else. I run my hand up their arm and try to determine who it is, but I can't. I don't know if they are friend or enemy. I err on the side of caution and push them away. It makes them tighten their grip. They are not friends. I scream, push hard, and thud.

  "Carrington, wake up," Jackson yelled. "Carrington."

  I reached back and rub my side as I pry my eyes open and look up to see Jackson on
the bed reaching for me.

  "What happened?" I asked.

  "You were having a nightmare and you pushed away from me and fell off the bed." He jumped off the bed and kneeled down. "Are you okay?"

  My breathing returned to normal, and I laughed out loud.

  "I can't believe I fell off the bed." My hip throbbed. "I think I'll be okay."

  "I'm not talking about your hip. You were freaking out, and when I grabbed your hand, you pushed me away."

  "Jackson, I was dreaming."

  "That was more than a dream. You might have had another one of those episodes, like the night at the party."

  "Jackson, calm down."

  His eyes were big and wet, and his shoulder tensed when I touched his face.

  "Carrington, that was freakin’ scary. You were screaming."

  "It’s okay. I've had this dream before." He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. His face softened as he pulled me into his arms and held me.

  "What happens in the dream?" He ran his fingers in my hair, and I relaxed and told him about the dream.

  "The same thing happens every time. Something or someone is holding me down, and I keep trying to get free, but they keep holding me down. I get a leg free, but then they pull it down, or I get a hand free and then they grab it again."

  "Oh, baby."

  "My therapist says it means I feel like I'm trapped, but I never liked that explanation. It sounds way too simple."

  "You feel like I'm trapping you."

  I sat up.

  "Jackson, no. Of course not. I want you as much as you want me. It’s probably my psyche playing tricks on me. For the first time in a long time, here in your arms, I feel the safest I've ever felt."

  #

  Jackson dropped me off for class before heading to the stadium. The team had a walk through before getting on a plane to Huntsville. They had a pivot game again Alabama. If they won this game and the next against their biggest rival Florida University, the Seminoles will be a shoo-in for the national championship tournament.

  I didn't get much sleep after my nightmare. With the way Jackson tossed and turned all night, neither did he. I had one class on Fridays, and as soon as it was over, I headed home.