Sinner

by Ted Dekker

“Then listen to me. This was different. I had them in my hands.” She made a fist. “I mean . . . I felt it this time.”

  “Okay, Darcy, I’m not being insensitive or anything, but both of us have had our worlds turned upside down this week. It’s catching up to you, I get that. But it’s not news.” He paused. “Coffee?”

  She uncrossed her arms, then crossed them again. “Well, it’s news to me. And yes, coffee would be nice.”

  Billy left her standing by the window and retreated into the kitchen. She hadn’t told him about her episode at Union Cemetery until they returned last night, and then she told him as if it should be a secret. It hardly sounded any different from her persuading Annie Ruling to slap the senator. But her perceptions of the cemetery event seemed to have shifted her understanding of her power. Maybe he should be more understanding.

  “Look, I’m sorry if I sound impatient,” he said, pouring the coffee. “But I’m starting to feel like a rat trapped in a glass cage. They whisked us off to Kansas City yesterday and what? Nothing. What are we, their sniffing dogs?”

  “That’s my point!”

  But she’d made no such point. “It is?”

  He placed her cup in her hands, but she set it down on the coffee table so she could use her hands to speak.

  “Okay, so maybe I’m trying to make sense of this . . . these powers of ours, but I’m telling you, we have more power than either of us realizes, Billy. This ad hoc council of theirs may be scrambling around trying to figure out how to use us for their personal gain, but I don’t think even they understand what kind of power we have.”

  “I think Kinnard knows exactly what we are capable of,” Billy said.“He’s been dreaming of this ever since he met Johnny. I think the council is over there plotting right now while we sit here like two rats trapped in this cage.”

  “Think of what we could do!”

  “I have been. I’ve been thinking about it ever since I stood in the courtroom and—”

  “I think I could have killed them, Billy,” she said.

  “Really?”

  “I don’t know. But I’m sure the power increases with my own emotion and forcefulness. No, I don’t think I could have killed them, but I’ll tell you what, this power is absolutely incredible.”

  So that’s what this was about. The implications of her ability were finally sinking in. The only thing that had really changed was Darcy’s perception of her gift.

  “So, tell me again, why are we doing this?” she asked.

  “Last I checked, there are people out there who want us both dead.”

  “And Kinnard and company can protect us?”

  Billy arched an eyebrow. “They seem to be doing a decent job so far.”

  “So you’re okay with being their sniffing dogs then?”

  Billy sat on the couch and put his cup beside hers. “No, but that’s not going to last.”

  “Oh?”

  “They’re just getting the feel of things themselves.”

  “And just who put them in charge?” she demanded.

  For a moment she looked exactly like the thirteen-year-old Darcy he remembered from the monastery. She was showing her true feelings. And honestly, Billy preferred her this way.

  “You find this funny?” she asked. “I’m trying to make a point here!”

  “I was just remembering how beautiful you are when you get aggressive.”

  That stopped her.

  “So tell me, Darcy, what exactly is your point?”

  She thought about it, then turned to face the window and stared out at the rising sun.

  “My point is that we should think about us, not them. We should use what we have for us. The gifts were given to us, not to them.”

  A bell went off in Billy’s head. They’d been here before, only then it had been him trying to convince her. Reach out, take the forbidden fruit. And they had done it together.

  He stood and walked up behind her. Put his hands on her shoulders and looked at the majestic buildings that housed Washington’s power.

  “Does that make sense?” she asked without turning.

  Billy rubbed her shoulders gently. “Maybe more than you know.”

  “It’s just that we should look out for ourselves, Billy. Not for the criminals in this town.”

  “We could do a few things, couldn’t we?”

  “We could become filthy rich.”

  He slid his hands around her belly and whispered into her ear, “Do you want to rule the world with me?”

  She threw her head back and chuckled, exposing her neck to his lips. “Why not take over the universe while we’re at it?”

  Billy kissed the soft of her neck. “Become God.”

  She turned into him and traced his cheek with her finger. “Now there’s an idea.”Their lips met like two silk pillows, and Billy knew that he would follow Darcy to the grave for kisses like this.

  The phone buzzed. Darcy bent for the receiver and spoke quietly into it, keeping her eyes on him.

  “Hello?”

  She listened for a moment, then hung up.

  “What?”

  “There’s a car downstairs waiting for us.”

  “What is it?”

  “Two more bodies were found lynched in the Union Cemetery last night. They were white.”

  “So they want their sniffing dogs in Kansas City again?”

  “Kansas City is rioting.”

  “LISTEN AND observe,”Kinnard said, marching Darcy and Billy through a sea of cubicles at FBI headquarters. They had taken a ride down the street, past the White House to the J. Edgar Hoover Building and been assigned visitors’ passes upon arrival. “This is all seat of the pants, but Lawhead’s eager to bring you inside.”

  So you can poke and prod your sniffing dogs some more, Darcy thought.

  They passed a bank of computer stations manned by agents, most of them glued to their phones.

  “Mind you, the others don’t have a clue about you, and we’d like to keep it that way. Play along, be discrete. This way.” Kinnard led them up a flight of stairs where glass walls overlooked a large conference room lined with large screens. She could see Newt Lawhead inside, bent over a conference table with a dozen other suits, intent in discussion. It looked like a war room from a movie set.

  Kinnard stopped with his hand on the door and faced Billy and Darcy. “Keep your glasses on. I’m sure you understand. Lot of sensitive information floating around this building. Observe only. Speak only when you are addressed.”

  They entered the conference room and stood with him at the back, doing as instructed. Observing.

  Now the sniffing dogs were muzzled, she thought wryly.

  But she quickly lost herself in the scene on the large screens. All the news services were carrying live feeds of the riot in Union Cemetery. CNN, FOX, BBC, IRN . . . they all showed different views of the scene, some from the ground, others from the air.

  She locked on to the footage taken from a helicopter high above it all. Smoke boiled skyward from at least five separate fires set to buildings around the cemetery. Dozens of fire trucks and police cars had formed a perimeter around what looked to be about a ten-block radius, but none were going into the battle zone.

  Darcy stared at the scene, stunned by the destruction. All of America was seeing this? And over what? Race?

  Several thousand rioters ran through the streets in gangs, smashing windows and overturning cars. The crime scene they visited yesterday had been overrun by several hundred rioters who looked to have set up a defensive position under assault from at least two fronts.

  “Unbelievable,” Billy muttered. “It looks like a war zone in Lebanon.”

  Lawhead heard and looked up. He nodded.

  “Gentlemen, if I may . . .” He motioned them forward as the others seated around the table turned. “Meet Billy Rediger and Darcy Lange. We’ve brought them in as consultants on the case. I wanted them here to observe in the event they might be of assistance. Thank you fo
r coming.”

  “Observe in what capacity?” A stout man with bushy eyebrows watched her with pale blue eyes. One look and Darcy decided she didn’t like him.

  “None that concerns you,” Darcy said. She had half a mind to tell the man where he could put his area of specialty.

  Lawhead glanced between them. “Actually—”

  “Then you can observe from the observation room in B wing. Let’s get back to work, gentlemen. They’re waiting for our—”

  “I’d like a rundown,”Darcy snapped, striding around the table.“Just the essentials. Starting with who’s rioting, specifically.”

  “Blacks, presumably Christian—”

  “I doubt it. Christians might not be completely right in the head, but they wouldn’t attack law enforcement. The fact that the media is spinning this as a religious matter doesn’t help. Maybe you should shut them down.” A breath. “Why aren’t the police evacuating the area?”

  The room stilled to the sound of a buzz from the monitors. The FBI’s upper echelon looked at Lawhead.

  He nodded at a thin man with a bald head. “Pete?”

  “Do you really think this is the time, Newt?” the man with bushy eye-brows demanded.

  “Humor her.”

  Pete cleared his throat. He picked up a laser pen and directed the beam at a three-dimensional rendering of the riot zone.“First responders have set up a perimeter along Holmes Street to the east, Main Street to the east between Twenty-sixth and Thirty-first Streets. We have substantial gunfire from at least a dozen buildings along those lines. Fifteen dead that we know of so far, and that’s just along the perimeter. No estimate from inside. They seem to be organized, well armed, and intentional. If there is a command center inside the perimeter, it’s likely coming from this building and the original crime scene. The assault will have to come from the west—”

  “Assault?” They’d brought her to observe, right? “You’re considering waging war on the ground?”

  The walrus wasn’t liking her. “I really don’t think you’re in a position to question—”

  “We’re here to observe, sir,” Billy interrupted. “Please let the sniffing dogs do their tricks.”

  Darcy took comfort in his support. “Well?”

  Pete looked at Lawhead, who gave him a barely perceptible nod.

  “The National Guard is on its way from Jefferson City,” Pete continued. “Plans for an assault have been drawn up with consideration for collateral damage.”

  “So basically you’re in a pickle either way,” Billy said. “You let them fight it out and you have maybe a hundred dead. You roll in with tanks to stop the fighting and you end up with the same.”

  “Something like that, yes.”

  “We can’t, as a matter of policy, allow rioters to take our streets hostage,” one of the others said.

  Billy was right, Darcy thought. She was staring at a scene on one of the small screens. A shaky camera operator had caught a man running for the perimeter with a child in his arms when a bullet blew off his hand.He dropped the child, who jumped up screaming. The man stared at his bloodied hand for a moment, then grabbed his child with his good hand and resumed his run.

  “What about gas?” Billy asked.

  “So you’re a military expert as well?” the stout man asked. “That’s not our call. Please, Newt.We really don’t have time for this.”

  “I’m going in,” Darcy said.

  The statement was absurd; Darcy could hardly blame their silence.

  Lawhead was the first to speak, asserting his authority. “I’m sorry, Ms. Lange, but I can’t allow that.”

  She faced him.“Daylight’s wasting. I need to know how to get to whoever in there has a say.”

  “Darcy . . .” This from Billy. “I’m not sure this is the wisest course of action here.”

  She could persuade him easily enough later. “I don’t need this right now, Billy.”

  Lawhead wasn’t buying it. “There’s absolutely no way. This is not a good choice.”

  “You don’t have a choice! Would you like me to prove my point?”

  By the look in his eyes she knew that the truth of her statement had sunk in. She could remove her glasses and speak to them all, persuading them more pointedly. Maybe Lawhead had underestimated her. And maybe he’d begin to see her as a threat, the last thing she wanted.

  So she quickly covered.“No disrespect. I really need to do this. If you’ll allow me. Please.”

  “It’s a war zone.”

  “I can see that. I insist.”

  * * *

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  * * *

  THERE WAS good news and there was not-so-good news, Kat thought.

  The good was that Johnny had talked to the judge and received a court order placing Kat under his supervision. As long as she bided by the terms of her six-month probation, which among other things strictly forbade any kind of violent behavior, she would remain a free woman.

  She was required to stand before the judge first thing Monday to receive the instructions directly from the court.

  The not-so-good news was that Johnny wasn’t exactly thrilled about her challenge to debate Asad bin Salman.

  Per their agreement, Kat hurried to Johnny’s home at ten o’clock sharp Saturday morning, eager to share the details of her first day walking in the light, as he put it. She paced the carpet, a bundle of exuberance, overflowing with questions and opinions.

  Kelly served them all iced tea and seated herself next to Johnny on the couch, where they watched Kat moving about the room like a kid who’d just discovered she won the lottery.

  “Yes, of course it’s all about the truth,” Johnny said. “But the question is wrong.What exactly are you debating?”

  “The true will of Allah, like they always say. God versus Allah. All of that.”

  “The question is Jesus.”

  “Perfect. Then the truth about Jesus.”

  “The truth isn’t best shown with words. Particularly not when you’re trying to determine God’s will. Truth is an issue of the heart, not merely the mind.”

  “Of course it is. But you start with the mind, don’t you?”

  “You can.”

  “And on that note, why don’t you just come with me, we’ll get into it, and when the right time comes, you can just take off your glasses and get them all to see the truth. For that matter, why not just show the whole world, end all of this fighting over who knows what’s right?”

  Johnny frowned.“It doesn’t work like that. Just because someone sees the truth doesn’t mean they will accept it or allow that truth to change them. Fact is, most have seen the truth about themselves a thousand times, the truth about God even more often, and remain unchanged. Seeing that same truth in a more spectacular way didn’t change the hearts of the crowds who saw Jesus feeding the five thousand. They still killed him.”

  “Sure, but you’re showing them the truth all in one overwhelming shot. It nearly killed me! They’d fall to their faces, how could they not?”

  “Maybe. It’s not my habit to cast pearls before swine.”

  “Swine?”

  “It’s what Jesus said about not putting the truth in front of people who refuse to hear it.”

  “You showed me.”

  “I figured you would hear it and I was right. But the kingdom of light is foolishness to most, just remember that.Your friends . . . what did they think of this sudden change in you?”

  “Carla?”

  “Sure, Carla.”

  Kat shrugged. “She thinks I’m nuts.”

  “Exactly.”

  Kat walked to one of two chairs facing the couch, thought about sitting, then walked behind it and paced. “Exactly. I just can’t get over how, two days ago”—she lifted her fingers at them in a peace sign—“just two days ago, I was as stupid as them.”

  “Stupid?”

  “Whatever. I couldn’t see it. There’s this light all around us . . .” She smiled at the ceil
ing, unable to see it now but remembering what Johnny had shown her for a moment after she’d spent herself crying.

  “It’s here and I can feel it. I know it’s here. This kingdom of heaven thing. The light.” She glanced at him. “Can you show me again?”

  “Maybe. Sometime. And how do you know it’s not just another apple in my hand? An illusion?”

  “Because I felt it! You showed me the apple and I thought, Wow, that’s incredible. But when you showed me the light . . .”Tears sprang to her eyes.

  Now she slipped into the chair, crossed her legs, and let the emotion come. A painful knot clogged her throat.

  She looked at Kelly, the more mysterious one here, really. What did she know about Kelly, other than she smiled all the time?

  Johnny, on the other hand, was crying. Tears ran from under his glasses, leaving thin trails down his cheeks.

  Kelly followed Kat’s eyes, and she rested her hand on his thigh when she saw his tears. She’d clearly been here before, supporting him. The image of Kelly crying behind the shed now seemed as unreal as a childhood nightmare.

  “We’ll have to work on your theology.” Johnny smiled. “But I think your heart is doing just fine.” He looked out the window and spoke in a soft voice. “The Book says that eternity is set in the hearts of men. But so is evil. That was Billy’s problem; he let the evil get the best of his world. And it never seems to go away, not for good.”

  “Billy?”

  “Billy,” Kelly said. She’d remained quiet, but at the mention of Billy she’d come alive, eyes round. She blinked, catching herself, then offered an explanation. “Billy, a figure of speech as much as a real person. The common man who spawns evil and leaves it to roam through his life until it one day comes back to wreak havoc again. Billy.”

  Johnny looked at her, then nodded. “Yes, Billy. Question is, does the evil he created still walk among us? I think so.”

  Kat didn’t know what he was talking about, and she said so.

  Johnny sighed.“It doesn’t matter right now. You know, when I was first given this gift it confused me. Of course, it was different then. The whole thing came on very strong, but then it all settled into this ability to help others see things. The truth about themselves. An apple. The light. But I myself can’t look at a person and know the truth about him. I can’t see God or see the evil. The light, yes, glimpses of the light, but that’s all.”