Never Preach Past Noon

by Edie Claire

  Leigh searched her friend's face for signs of guilt. Guilt was an emotion she knew well. She was a master at it, in fact. The only problem was, she still didn't know how to get rid of it.

  "You had no reason to look in the freezer," she stated, fishing.

  Maura started a little, then looked miserable.

  Guilt confirmed. "You didn't!" Leigh insisted. "None of these other bozos would have checked it either, that's for sure." She had no independent knowledge of the prowess of the county detectives, but the ones she had met in the city hadn't impressed her. Maura, on the other hand, was one in a million.

  "Don’t," Maura said sternly, shaking her head. "No excuses. I just want to get busy and close out my part of this ASAP." She cleared her throat. "So tell me—off the record—why were you and your aunt snooping around after Reginald Humphrey?"

  Leigh bristled a little. She never "snooped." That was Bess's area. "I was just helping my aunt get around," she answered defensively. "She, like everyone else at the church, was interested in knowing what had happened to the reverend."

  Maura looked at her skeptically. "You reported the car."

  Leigh started to say something, but stopped. Perhaps she was a little more entwined in the whole mess than she wanted to admit. Bess had lied about her role in the parsonage fire, she and Bess had broken into Humphrey's mini-storage after he died—. Had they left prints? Of course they had. Fabulous.

  She sighed. The homicide detectives had not yet probed beyond this morning's events, but it was clear she would eventually have to come clean about the whole week's worth of debacles, or things were going to get nasty. And how could she explain her actions without getting Bess into trouble?

  "Look," she said tiredly. "It's a long story, and I really don't think you want to hear it now."

  The detective's eyes looked pained. She obviously assumed the worst, which made Leigh bristle again. "It's not like I want to find bodies," she protested. "I didn't even look in the trunk!"

  Maura raised an eyebrow. But as Leigh was debating whether or not to explain, she was interrupted by one of the homicide detectives. The crime scene unit was done. It was time for her part in the identification process.

  She rose, irritated by the fact that her knees had started to knock again. The coroner's van was waiting out front; a covered stretcher sat next to it ready for loading. She approached it and took a deep breath. The detective pulled back the sheet, and she nodded once before turning away. She barely knew Reginald Humphrey, and it wasn't as if she took his passing personally. But recognizing his frozen face confirmed the sinking feeling she had been harboring all morning. Finding the good reverend had produced as many questions as answers, and it was bound to produce no small amount of trouble. For her family—and Warren's.

  ***

  "Let's get on with it," Bess said miserably, shutting the door of the Cavalier. They had finally been given clearance to leave, and despite Leigh's best efforts to convince her aunt to go home, they were on their way to the First Church of the New Millenium instead. It was only a few hundred yards away, but walking even that short distance was out of the question for Bess, who looked far more exhausted than she would admit. When word spread, she had insisted, people would start to gather at the church, and as a board member, she had an obligation to be there.

  But Leigh was beginning to see that her aunt's role at the First Church of the New Millenium went beyond board meetings. Bess seemed to have set herself up as an incognito protector of the flock, and it was a crusade she showed no signs of backing down from.

  "I'm truly sorry the man is dead," Bess announced soberly, more to herself than to Leigh. "But I still say he was a con. Nothing's changing my mind about that."

  Leigh didn't disagree. It made a lot more sense for someone to have murdered Humphrey the con artist than Humphrey the saint.

  "But it doesn't matter now what he was," Bess continued. "He won't be cheating the congregation anymore, so they may as well have fond memories of him. In fact, it's best now that they never know."

  Leigh looked at her aunt with surprise. She had often wondered if Bess's desire to bring down Humphrey wasn't some sort of personal vendetta, but it was clear to her now that Bess's first priority was—and always had been—the church. Unfortunately, her thinking in that vein seemed a little blind.

  "But, Aunt Bess," Leigh said carefully, "somebody else already knows about Humphrey, because somebody murdered him."

  Bess stared at her niece indignantly. "You don't think a church member killed him!"

  Leigh squirmed uncomfortably. She didn't want to cast aspersions on Bess's fellow churchgoers—particularly those related to Warren Harmon. But the facts were hard to forget. Not only had Ted Hugh been the last person to see Humphrey alive—he had lied to the police about it.

  "That's preposterous," Bess said defensively. "You didn't see the evidence they brought out of the basement!"

  Having reached a parking spot at the church, Leigh pulled her keys out of the ignition and turned to face her aunt squarely. "What evidence?"

  "The bags, of course," Bess answered, somewhat smugly. "I was surprised you weren't outside watching with me. Before they brought the body out on the stretcher they brought out a few things in plastic bags. One of which was Humphrey's insulin kit."

  Leigh blinked. The insulin kit that Humphrey was supposed to take with him everywhere. Why on earth would his killer dump it in the freezer with him?

  "So, you see," Bess continued, "we don't know that it was murder after all."

  Leigh stared at her aunt in amazement. "We don't?"

  "Weren't you listening to what all those detectives and forensics people were

  saying?" Bess asked accusingly. "Well, I was—very discreetly, of course. They couldn't find a murder weapon. They couldn't even find a murder wound. No bashed-in head, no cut throat. Just a man all curled up, frozen solid."

  Leigh read her aunt's thoughts with incredulousness. "No," she said firmly. "Reginald Humphrey did not accidentally lock himself and his insulin kit in an empty freezer. That's insane."

  Bess pursed her lips and looked at her niece with disappointment. "I suppose you have a better theory?"

  Leigh didn't answer, but got out of the car and walked around to help her aunt into the church. She had a theory all right, and it made a heck of a lot more sense than Bess's. She just hoped it wasn't correct.

  Chapter 12

  The news of Reginald Humphrey's passing had spread quickly, indeed. Bess had called the church staff from the animal shelter shortly after the body was found, but even if she hadn't, the procession of police cars that streamed down Nicholson Road past the church would have been hard to miss. The phone chain had begun in earnest, and by the time Bess and Leigh entered the parlor of the First Church of the New Millenium, it was already crowded with people and platters.

  Leigh settled her aunt in a comfortable armchair and immediately escaped out into the hall. Her aunt might be able to sit around with a somber expression on her face saying wonderful things about a man she thought was a monster, but Leigh didn't feel so obligated. Besides, there was something she needed to see. She made her way quietly down to the door of the pastor's office, then opened it and slipped inside.

  The little room still seemed dark, even with the lights on and the cold, winter sunlight streaming around the single curtain. She began to walk toward the window, but a familiar voice stopped her.

  "Leigh? Are you all right?" Warren caught up with her in a single stride and wrapped one arm comfortingly around her shoulders. It was a brotherly gesture at best, but the wave of warmth it sent through her made her spine tingle.

  "I heard you were the one who found the body," he continued, looking at her with concern. "I'm sorry. That must have brought back bad memories."

  The empathy in his soft brown eyes made her stomach twitch, and she looked away. Had he come to the church just to see her? "I'm all right," she said with a smile, trying to sound more cheerful t
han she felt. "You know me—I just have bad karma."

  Warren didn't smile. "Are you really okay?"

  She nodded. It was nice of him to worry about her, but his uncle was the one in real trouble. Speaking of which…

  She turned and walked to the window, then lifted a corner of the ancient curtain and rubbed it between her fingers. "How is your family holding up?" she asked over her shoulder.

  "The Florida contingent is doing well," he answered. "My father should be out of the hospital soon. As for Ted and Shannon—"

  "Warren?" The interruption came from the office doorway, where Katharine Bower had appeared, laptop case in hand. "Good. You're here. Hello, Leigh," she added with a polite wave.

  Leigh's heart sank, but she nodded politely back. So much for Warren having come to see her.

  "Your uncle says we can talk in one of the classrooms," Katharine announced, turning back to Warren. "You'd like to be there?"

  He nodded and started to follow her out.

  "Wait a minute," Leigh said hurriedly, her voice nervous. "I think there's something you two should know."

  ***

  The Sunday school room was chilly, but Ted Hugh's brow was dotted with sweat. Leigh almost felt sorry for him as he sat holding his wife's hand, looking like a little boy in a principal's office. She felt rather uncomfortable being there herself, but Katharine had asked her to come and repeat exactly what the Ivey sisters had said.

  She watched Ted Hugh's face as he told his side of the story, and she watched Warren's face as he listened.

  "Humphrey and I had a fight," Ted proclaimed, a bit melodramatically. "I wanted to talk to him after the rehearsal, because I wanted to tell him that if he did anything to ruin my little girl's wedding, I was going to kill him."

  Shannon's pale face tensed as her husband talked, and Warren's color didn't look so good either. Katharine sat impassively, her fingers clicking rapidly on the laptop.

  "I didn’t mean it, of course," Ted recanted quickly, with a glance at his wife. "But I was angry. When I met him that night I exploded—and I suppose I made him nervous. He's—I mean, he was—such a little guy. He tried to calm me down, promised nothing would happen, said that everything would be fine. Then he said he had to leave, and he skedaddled. End of story."

  Katharine's fingers continued to click on the keyboard for a few seconds, after which she asked the obvious question. "Why were you worried about him ruining your daughter's wedding?"

  Ted stole another glance at his wife, who nodded at him encouragingly. Leigh wasn't certain, but it almost looked as though Shannon were anxious to hear the answer herself.

  "We had another argument a while back," Ted answered tensely. "What it was about isn't important. But I felt like I'd made an enemy out of him, and I was afraid he would take it out on Joy."

  Leigh felt, rather than saw, Warren take a deep breath beside her. He started to speak, but Katharine cut him off with a raised hand. "That's fine," she said to Ted. "Now, Leigh," she said without turning her head, "would you please repeat what the Ivey sisters told you they saw the night of the rehearsal?"

  Leigh repeated the story succinctly, feeling guilty again for being the bearer of bad tidings. Katharine recorded everything she said, then turned back to Ted. "And this contradicts the statement you gave the Franklin Park Police?"

  He winced, then gave Katharine a look that bordered on pathetic. "Who do you think they'll believe?"

  "The most credible person without a motive to lie," she answered tonelessly. "What exactly did you tell the police?"

  Ted repeated what he had told Leigh and Warren before, then tried to explain. "It was just a harmless little lie—I didn't think much of it. But I didn't want anyone to know I was the last person to leave the church that night. There are procedures for closing up everything, you see. I hung around and stewed a while, then I left. I don't think I even locked the door. When the police came to question me, I panicked—I was just trying to cover my tracks. I had no idea Humphrey would get killed there."

  His last word struck Leigh with a jolt. Katharine looked up from her laptop, and Warren tensed in his seat. Shannon remained pale and stricken, staring at an empty spot on the table. "You think Humphrey was killed at the church, then?" Katharine asked smoothly.

  A few extra sweat beads broke out on Ted's brow. Shannon looked up at him in alarm, then tightened her grip on his hand.

  "I don't know," he said defensively. "I guess I just assumed. Since he was found so close and all…" His voice trailed off.

  The room fell silent for a moment, and Leigh opened her mouth to say something, but she hadn't gotten a word out before Katharine cut her off with a fierce head shake.

  "I'm not feeling so well," Ted announced. "Could I grab a drink?"

  "I'll get it for you," Shannon said quickly, jumping up.

  "If no one minds, I'd like to get it myself," Ted said shakily, rising. "It's stuffy in here."

  "That's fine," Katharine said cheerfully. "Can we start back up in five minutes or so?"

  Ted nodded and left the room on Shannon's arm. As soon as they were gone, Warren rose and let out a frustrated breath. "I know it looks bad—but I'm telling you, Kath, Ted wouldn't kill anybody. He's obviously lying about something, but he's not a killer."

  Katharine had begun to type again and didn't look up when she answered. "It's hard to know sometimes, Warren. I didn't get the idea you too were close."

  "We're not," he responded, a bit stiffly. Leigh sat quietly in her chair. She didn't want to seem like a vulture, but it was hard not to notice the absence of the conviviality Warren and Katharine had shared at the wedding. Had they been fighting?

  "But I've known Ted all my life," Warren continued, "and I know that he's just a harmless hothead. He blows his top easily and he makes a lot of noise, but that's where it ends. I've never seen his anger get physical—not ever. He's simply not a violent man. He was good to my aunt, he's been good to Shannon, and he's always treated Joy like a princess."

  Katharine paused, looked up from her laptop, and took off her glasses. "You don't have to defend him to me, remember?" she said in a whisper, looking at Warren with an ardor that made Leigh's cheeks burn. "Defending him is my job, and I'm going to do it very well."

  Warren sat back down. "Of course you are," he said softly. Then he sighed. "I'm sorry, Katharine. As you can obviously tell, I've had my own doubts about the man. How he knew Humphrey was killed here, I don't even want to guess."

  The lawyer glanced at Leigh. "I'm sorry I cut you off before, but I didn’t want Ted to know what you suspect—at least not yet. There'll be plenty of time for that after I get him to tell me what really happened. But in order to do that, I'll need to talk to him alone, because it's clear he's trying to hide something from his wife."

  "I'm sure you're right," Warren said admiringly. "We'll go, then." He rose, and Leigh did the same. "Thanks, Kath," he said, giving the lawyer's shoulder a squeeze on the way out. "I'll call you later."

  Leigh's insides churned as she watched the affectionate gesture. So much for the fighting theory.

  "And, Leigh," Katharine called out as they were about to leave. "It would be in my client's best interests if the information you remembered does not come to the attention of the police any sooner than necessary. I thought you should know that."

  Leigh nodded, and left the room.

  "Are you staying here for a while?" Warren asked when they were alone in the hall. He didn't seem himself, and Leigh looked at him sympathetically. It was rough having someone in your family in trouble with the police. At least, that's what her family always said.

  "I need to be with Bess," she said with a sigh. "Has anyone called Joy about all this?"

  Warren shook his head. "I'm hoping we won't have to. She'll be coming home soon enough anyway." He broke off his next statement, but Leigh could read his thoughts. And her father may very well be in jail.

  "If there's anything I can do—" Leigh began.

&nb
sp; But he quickly cut her off, laying a hand on her arm. "No, this isn't your problem. What Katharine said back there—about information that could hurt my uncle's case—forget about it. If the police ask you about the curtain, I want you to tell them the truth. Not that you wouldn't, but—I just want to make it clear that you're under no obligation to protect my relatives. Understand?"

  Leigh saw the concern in his eyes, and nodded with a smile. Warren said goodbye and headed for the exit, and she started back toward the parlor, pausing at Humphrey's office on the way.

  How had Ted Hugh known that the reverend was killed at the church? Other than the police, she was the only one who had seen the wrapping around the body. And besides Warren and Katharine, she was the only one who knew that that wrapping was actually a curtain—an ugly, orange curtain whose abandoned mate still hung right in front of her—over Reginald Humphrey's office window.

  ***

  The parlor at the First Church of the New Millenium held only the living, but the atmosphere was as oppressive as any wake.

  Leigh stood in the doorway and cast her eyes over the glum crowd. Shannon had arrived—evidently she had been dismissed by Katharine, too—looking paler than ever and zombified to boot. Bess sat in the same place Leigh had left her, surrounded by a throng of church members talking in awkward, hushed tones.

  "Hard to believe, isn't it?" Leigh turned to see Ed the office envelope-licker at her elbow, leaning on a cane and nibbling on a celery stick. "Hiding in a freezer like a little kid. Don't know what could have possessed him."

  Leigh's eyes widened. "Who told you that?"

  He looked at her with surprise. "I don't know—that's just what everyone's saying. That it had to be some sort of accident." He studied her confused face. "You know something different? You saw the body, too?"

  Leigh threw a glance at her aunt, who just happened to be watching her at the same moment. Bess's expression turned sheepish, and she looked away. Leigh sighed. Evidently, the facts at hand had gotten slightly embellished, and there was no doubt by whom.