Keep Coming Back to Love

by Christa Maurice

  Candy checked June, who was deeply asleep. She smiled at the nurse and headed back to the lounge. Tyler was still sleeping on his back with his arm hanging off the side of the couch. The nurse had called him her husband and she hadn’t bothered to correct her. She crawled back into Tyler’s embrace, wrapping his arms around her. He shifted and kissed her forehead. It was safe here, and quiet.

  When doctors performed the spinal tap, she’d stood in the hall listening to June cry while Tyler crooned to her. Where or why he’d learned the lyrics to “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” from the Frozen cartoon, she didn’t know. She couldn’t have gone into that room for a million dollars. All she wanted to do was smack the nurse’s hands away. But Tyler had been so strong. Thank God she’d had him to call. This was a much higher order of favor than asking somebody to help you move. Hey, can you come to the hospital and hold my kid while they do a spinal tap on her and then stay all night making sure I stay sane? What could she ever do to pay him back? Cookies were not going to cut it.

  Candy closed her eyes. Something would come to her. She needed a little rest so she could think straight and then she’d start working on a way to pay him back.

  * * * *

  “But I have to go back to school tomorrow,” June whined. “I’m missing everything. I’m going to fall behind.”

  “You’re in second grade. You have time to catch up.” Candy walked out with the tray. A week and a half after she went into the hospital, June was still too tired to sit up for very long and she wanted to go to school. Candy didn’t remember being that serious in elementary school. High school yes, but not second grade. Joey followed her down the hall. “And what do you want?”

  “I’m bored. I want to play with June.”

  “June is too tired to play with you. She needs to stay in bed. Besides, Brett and Tessa are coming to take you to Disneyland in a little bit.” And none too soon. Candy had taken time off from work to take care of June. When she’d first brought the kids home she’d taken off four years, just returning a few months ago. How had she done it? Eight days and she was climbing the walls. At least Wei would be home in a few days. None too soon.

  The doorbell rang.

  Joey ran for it screaming.

  “Joey, don’t you open that door. You know you’re not allowed.” Candy followed him. He hadn’t opened the door, but he’d climbed on the chair beside it and pulled back the curtain. Brett was on the other side of the window mashing his open mouth on the glass. Candy opened the door. “You know that glass is filthy.”

  “Considering what’s been in his mouth, I wouldn’t worry about it.” Tessa smirked at Brett who stuck out his tongue.

  “Tessa, little pitchers.” Candy put her hand on Joey’s head.

  “It’s only dirty if you have a dirty mind.” Tessa threw Brett a dark look. “Last weekend he picked up a hotdog that fell in the grass and ate it.”

  “I picked the grass off.” Brett grabbed Joey. “Are you ready for Disneyland, buddy?”

  “Yeah!”

  “Go put your shoes on.” Candy pointed toward the stairs.

  Tessa stepped inside. “Tyler here?”

  “Why would Tyler be here?”

  Tessa cocked one eyebrow at her.

  “He called to say he was coming over in a little while to see June.”

  “To see June.”

  “Yes, to see June.” Candy folded her arms. Couldn’t be for any other reason.

  “Right.”

  “Tyler and I have been friends for a long time.”

  “I’m your friend and I didn’t sit at the hospital with you for three days.”

  Candy tugged at the hem of her T-shirt. It was one of Touchstone’s old concert T-shirts and it had stains on the front from when she was trying to switch Joey from formula to baby food. “He was there for June.”

  “He was there for you. June had a team of professionals watching her around the clock. You wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep, and frankly, didn’t make any sense for the first twelve hours. I’ve had better conversations with dogs.”

  “My daughter was in the intensive care unit.”

  “I know and who was the first person you called?”

  Candy had never figured out why she called Tyler. It had seemed like the only option at the time, but in retrospect, it was a little odd. She should have called Ronnie and if she’d remembered Ronnie was on tour, she should have tried Sandy next. So why had she called Tyler?

  Brett zoomed through with Joey in his arms.

  “I’m Superman, Mama!” Joey squealed on the way past.

  “Remember last year when I was agonizing over Brett and we had that conversation about boundaries and limitations?” Tessa asked. “Your boundaries are too tight and you don’t know your limitations.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means you have such stringent boundaries you won’t let anyone in. You have managed to keep everyone at arm’s length the entire time I’ve known you. You judge every relationship on who’s using who and is it equitable. And you don’t accept that you have limitations.”

  “That’s not true. I hired a nanny because I knew I had limitations. I knew I couldn’t raise two kids on my own.” Through the door she could see Brett putting the car seat in the backseat of Tessa’s car. Before they left, she’d have to check it and make sure he’d done it right.

  “Let’s break this down.” Tessa held up her hand so she could tick her points off on her finger. Sometimes having a lawyer for a friend sucked. “You adopted two Chinese kids. You had a more than full time job running your office and you wanted the kids to speak their native language. Therefore, you hired someone to teach the kids Chinese and as a byproduct, help you take care of them. I helped you with the contract. You made sure it was a very fair agreement. Wei probably has the best employment conditions of any unskilled worker alive and all because you didn’t want to feel you would owe her anything at the end.”

  “What does that have to do with Tyler?”

  “Tyler is the only person I’ve ever seen you let in and it drives you crazy.”

  “Tyler and I are friends.”

  “Yeah.” Tessa put her hands on her hips. “You know, I’ve been watching this show for twenty years now and it’s been in reruns for the last fifteen. It’s getting boring.”

  “It hasn’t been that long, and I can’t trust Tyler. Not in a serious relationship. He’s cheated on me before and he’ll do it again.” A cold spot formed behind Candy’s breastbone. She could still remember sitting in Callisto’s living room with a piece of pizza in her hand listening to Tessa and Jason scream at one another while Tyler stared at her like his life hung in the balance of whether she took a bite or not. She hadn’t, she recalled. She’d put the pizza down and locked herself in her room.

  “You know that was twenty years ago, right?”

  “Seventeen.”

  “And what does it tell you that you remember that detail? I bet you know exactly what date and time, too.”

  It had been after work. He’d picked her up outside the office and taken her to show her that shitty apartment he’d rented before they got pizza and went back to Callisto’s. On a Wednesday. The weather had been cool and overcast, but not so cold she needed a jacket.

  Tessa hugged her. “I love you, babe, but you are the biggest bundle of neurosis I’ve ever met and my brother is Jason Callisto.”

  “And look who you’re living with.” Candy gestured toward the car. Brett had finished putting the car seat in and gotten Joey buckled in. Maybe she didn’t need to check it. Brett was good about that stuff. As looney and irresponsible as he could be, he minded the important stuff.

  “You’re making my point for me. See you later. We’ll bring the boy home wiped out.” Tessa headed for the driveway.

  “Don’t let him have too much sugar or he’ll get sick.”

  “Brett can clean it up. He’d be the one gi
ving the kid sugar anyway.” Tessa waved over the roof of the car and climbed in the driver’s seat.

  Funny, Tessa still drove.

  Tyler had to wait on the street as they pulled out. As always, his timing was impeccable. He parked in front of the garage. “Hey, you unload Joey?”

  “Tessa and Brett volunteered to take him to Disneyland.”

  “Because everybody wants to go to Disneyland on Tuesday afternoon.” Tyler strolled around the front of his car. He had a gift bag in his hand from Toys “R” Us.

  “He’s four. He’s up for Disneyland anytime.” Candy couldn’t remember the last time she’d really looked at Tyler. The image she’d always held in her mind was of him as a gangly boy singing for the biggest local band. Sometime between then and now his shoulders had gotten broader and his face had firmed. He had an air of confidence about him that he’d been very lacking when she met him.

  He stopped at the door. “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  “You’re staring at me.”

  “Was I?” Candy smiled. Had he gotten taller too? He seemed taller.

  Tyler angled past her. “I brought a little something to keep June distracted.”

  “What is it?”

  “Wii.”

  Candy followed him down the hall. “Tyler, that game system requires a lot of movement. She needs to stay in bed.” And Tessa thought he’d changed. He was the same irresponsible, thoughtless—

  “The kid at the store loaded me up with point and shoot games.”

  “Oh. You know, you all spoil her. That flat screen Ronnie had installed in her bedroom is nicer than the one we have in the family room.”

  “So switch it out when she gets better.” Tyler turned into June’s room. “Hey beautiful!”

  “Tyler!”

  Why was June so happy to see him? She knew why Joey got so excited to see him. Joey loved anybody who would throw him in the air, but June was more selective, and she was always happy to see Tyler. Candy stopped outside the door and listened as June unwrapped her newest treasure. The kid now had enough entertainment to be bedridden for a year. She chattered delightedly as Tyler hooked it up for her. Candy could hear Tyler explaining which games she could play now, which she should save for later, and that the game would have to go into the family room when she got better. He sounded so much like a dad. So responsible.

  Candy went back down to the kitchen. With both kids occupied, she had a little time to get some work done.

  But not enough.

  “What are you doing?” Tyler sat down at the table.

  “Sorting out some work so I’ll be ready to get back to it first thing next week.” Candy closed her planner. “June ignoring you in favor of the game?”

  “No. We played a couple of rounds and she got tired so we put in a movie. She was asleep before Simba started singing about how great it is to be king.”

  Candy studied his face. He had come right to the hospital when she called him. He had stayed for three days. Someone had brought them changes of clothes. He’d been here almost every day since she brought June home. “Why did you come when I called you?”

  “You didn’t call me. I called you this morning and said I would be by.” Tyler picked up a headshot. “New client?”

  “I mean at the hospital. Why did you come?”

  Tyler put down the picture. “I don’t know. You’ve been telling me what to do for most of my life. I guess I’m used to obeying.”

  “That’s not funny.”

  “Well, why don’t you tell me what you want?”

  Candy stared at him wanting to rail, but not having the words. She clenched her jaw.

  “Are you okay?” He put his hand on her wrist. “It’s been a pretty stressful couple of weeks here. Maybe you should take a nap, too. I can hold down the fort.”

  “Why?” The wail in her voice surprised both of them. Her eyes burned.

  “Candy.” Tyler stood and pulled her into his arms. “You are really stressed out. Come sit down and let me make you a cup of tea.”

  “No. No!” Candy pulled away from him. “Stop taking care of me.”

  “Okay. Then what do you want me to do?”

  “I want you to tell me why you keep coming back. Why are you here now? Why did you come to the hospital and stay for three days? Why did you meet me at the airport when I came back from China with the kids? Why did you check on me when I moved into Ronnie’s after I broke up with Frankie?”

  Tyler rubbed his face. “You really need a cup of tea.”

  “I need answers.”

  “You need to lower your voice or you’re going to wake up June.”

  Candy bit her lip. “I want to know why you keep coming back.”

  “Because I love you.”

  “You can’t.”

  “Sh!” Tyler scowled. “Why can’t I?”

  “Because you slept with every available female rather than be with me.”

  “First of all, I slept with them. I didn’t love them. Second of all—” Tyler pointed at her. “Okay, there isn’t a second. But I never loved any of them. I was a stupid little boy. You are the only woman I ever loved.”

  “How could you sleep with them if you didn’t love them?”

  “It’s really easy and there was only that one before we broke up. You never gave me a second chance.”

  “How was I supposed to give you a second chance when I had to wade through women to get to you at all?”

  “I know what number two is now. Second of all, it was a long time ago.”

  “It was last year.”

  “No, last year you were still punishing me for Jennifer what’s-her-name seventeen years ago. Which most people think is a long time.”

  “Now you’re going to wake June.”

  Tyler walked away.

  “Where are you going?”

  “The kitchen.”

  Candy followed and watched him put a mug of water in the microwave. He had a second one on the counter. “What are you doing?”

  “It’s not obvious?”

  “Then why are you doing it?”

  “I don’t know. Tell me, is it a conspiracy? Am I crazy? Maybe there’s something else going on I haven’t considered that explains all my actions for reasons other than why I think I did them.” He lowered his voice. “Should we call Fox Mulder?”

  “Tyler.” Candy covered her face with her hands.

  “Candy, why can’t you believe that I love you? Every single love song I’ve ever written has been about you.” He leaned on the counter. “I get why you were afraid. What I don’t get is why you’re still afraid. I’m here. I’m always here. I’m like fucking Old Faithful.”

  “You were Party Central for nearly two decades.”

  “Not even.” The microwave chimed. “I admit, I had my fun, but that’s all it was and we were not together. You can’t hold it against me like I was cheating on you when we were not a couple. If you’d give me a break and let me back in I could prove it to you. I’m ready now. I’ve been ready for a couple of years just waiting for an opening.” He put the other cup in the microwave and dropped a tea bag in the first one.

  Candy wrapped her arms around herself. “You’re going to leave me.”

  “What makes you think that when you admit I’m always here?” He pulled her arms apart and wrapped them around his waist. “Candy, how many women have I dropped everything and run to the hospital for? The hospital. You know how I feel about germs and needles.”

  “We almost had to sedate you to get your shots the first time you went overseas.” Candy pressed her cheek against his chest. He really was much more solid than she remembered. “I thought you were going to break my hand you were squeezing it so hard.”

  “You’re lucky I didn’t pass out when they did the spinal tap on June. Did you see that needle?”

  “It was huge.”

  He stroked her hair. “Can I ask a dum
b question?”

  “What?”

  “Where are we now?”

  Candy twisted her head so she could see his face without stepping away. He wore no expression, waiting. “I love you.”

  “And you’re going to give me another chance?”

  “Let’s just take it easy. Everybody is going to have to get used to us again.”

  “I’m a very patient man.”

  Candy laughed. “I’ve noticed.”

  “Hey Candy? How much money do you have?”

  “On me or in the bank?”

  “Both, because I’m about to lose a lot of bets.”

  Epilogue

  “Well, I’m glad to see the two of you finally got back together.” Sandy raised his glass to the happy couple. “After nearly twenty years of watching this little soap opera, I was going to be really angry if I died before the two of you figured this out.”

  “Sandy, you’re going to outlive us all,” Jason said.

  Sandy grunted.

  Candy brushed her hands over her simple cotton dress.

  “I can’t believe you wouldn’t let me design you something better,” Tanya grumbled. “Honestly, who gets married in a cotton sundress in somebody’s backyard?”

  “The person who’s arranged dozens of weddings.”

  “Dozens. It hasn’t been dozens.”

  Candy started ticking off on her fingers. “Brian’s first one. Jason and Cassie’s. Connie’s. I did all of Marc’s first one, and helped out a lot with Alex. Mrs. Callisto’s and that postmaster in Potterville. Bear and Maureen’s. All four members of Send Down. Tessa and Brett.”

  “Still not dozens.”

  “You act like you’re the only people on Earth. I have other friends and other clients who think I’m a full service PR and wedding service. Gayle Rubio has been married four times already and I suspect she’s working on number five now. Jerry Eland and that twit with that stupid song about short skirts.”

  “I wrote that song,” Marc grumbled.