Convincing Rowena [Passion Peak, Colorado 6] (Siren Publishing Everlasting Classic)

by Tara Rose

  This was different. How could Carma compare what they’d each gone through to what Brandt had done? She didn’t need therapy. It had been over for a long time now.

  And Carma was attacked by her cousin when she was only eighteen. That was a long time ago, too.

  Rowena almost burned her fingers trying to light the last taper because her hands were shaking so badly. She swore under her breath and blew out the match, extinguishing the candle in the process. As she lit it a second time, she ignored the loud voice that told her what Brandt had done to her was exactly as traumatic as what Carma had gone through that summer, so long ago.

  He’d cheated on her more than once, a fact that Rowena had been unaware of until the last six months of her relationship with him. He’d also apparently failed to use condoms a few times, and had then revealed to her that he might have contracted Chlamydia from one of his flings, forcing Rowena to endure further humiliation by getting tested. Thankfully, the media had never found out about that. But that still wasn’t what had led to the lawsuit.

  She returned to the kitchen, intending to distract her thoughts from going there, but everything was ready. Van would be home in ten minutes or less. She had nothing to do but wait, so her thoughts went back to the lawsuit again, almost as if she had no control over them tonight.

  She’d filed the lawsuit because of the e-mails.

  When the stories broke about Brandt’s many indiscretions behind Rowena’s back, the media ate it up. She was the woman who’d lived with him in apparent ignorance of his flings for almost three years, and they showed her little mercy, printing stories that suggested she must have known. Who could be with a man that long and yet be totally ignorant of what he did when he went on location? A few even suggested she’d been cheating on him as well, which was as far from the truth as anyone could get.

  So, she’d issued him an ultimatum. In hindsight, she should have kicked his cheating ass to the curb. But he’d convinced her that he loved her, and would change for her, so she’d called his bluff and told him to stop all the cheating shit or they were through.

  His response had been to send fake e-mails from her account to her friends, then forwarding them to her industry contacts to make it appear that she’d been trashing those contacts behind their backs. He’d done it in an effort to divert attention from his wrongdoings and to capitalize on the media stories that suggested Rowena was the player, not him.

  He never believed that a twenty-one-year-old girl from Colorado would dare to stand up to the great Brandt Fontaine. He’d been wrong.

  By that time, Rowena was no longer the same shy, naïve high school graduate who had come to Los Angeles three years earlier. By the time Brandt had sent the e-mails, she’d been in the process of earning a combined bachelor’s and master’s degree, and had worked on several medium-budget productions as a costume designer. People were starting to take notice of her work. And she was friends with Derrick Leebrooke, one of the hottest new directors back then. He had plans to make sure she worked on several of his upcoming projects, and with his name behind her, she’d have had the world on an oyster.

  But Brandt put a stop to all that within two hours on Rowena’s laptop while she was with Tricia one afternoon, getting a mani and pedi.

  By the time she, Tricia, and Derrick tried to do damage control, it was too late. No one was going to take her word over Brandt’s. He was box office magic. She was a nobody that he’d cheated on, and the tabloids made it sound like Rowena was trying to tarnish his name because the e-mails got out, not the other way around. They didn’t believe that the great Brandt Fontaine would send fake e-mails to deliberately ruin his girlfriend’s career.

  By the time Brandt was finished with his smear campaign, he’d come out looking like a rose and she like a vindictive bitch, out for blood because Brandt had dumped her.

  She’d moved in with Tricia and Derrick, and filed the lawsuit within a month. But even after she’d won it, Rowena no longer wanted to stay in California. Even if Aunt Looney hadn’t died, she would have come home. She didn’t belong there. She belonged here, in Passion Peak.

  She smiled as she heard the back door open. Van was home. She had everything she needed in his arms, and tonight she was going to make sure he knew that. He loved her. He’d always loved her, and he’d never hurt her the way Brandt had done. Carma only had it partly right this time. That part of her life was truly over, and she didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

  Chapter Six

  Van’s dick grew hard the second he saw his wife. It could be thirty below zero outside but she always went barefoot inside the house because she knew he had this thing for painted toenails on bare feet. His gaze lingered over her jeans and sweater, wondering what she wore underneath the clothes. When he smelled mushrooms and chicken, his hormones took a back seat to the food.

  Once they were seated, he smiled at her across the table. She’d lit candles in the dining room, so something special had been cooking not only in the kitchen, but also in that pretty head of hers. He couldn’t wait to find out what it was. “Thanks for making this.”

  “You’re welcome. I figured we needed a special holiday dinner of our own after yesterday.”

  “I’ve already forgotten about it.” He hadn’t, but tonight he wanted to give all his attention to his wife and no one else.

  “Did you hear about Jason Monroe’s indictments?”

  Van nodded as he chewed. So much for pushing aside about the outside world. He swallowed his food. “Unfortunately.”

  “If you don’t want me to go to Racy, I won’t.”

  “What? Of course you should go. You’ve been looking forward to this for two months, even since you and Eve first planned it. This has nothing to do with your trip. In fact, it’s probably better if you get out of town for a while, just until the initial curiosity blows over. Maybe the long-term fallout won’t be as bad as we’re thinking.” He wished he believed his own words.

  She grinned, and his dick jumped to attention. “Trying to get rid of me for a few weeks?”

  “Well…” She laughed, and his heart soared. No matter how shitty things got, if he could still make Rowena laugh, his day was complete.

  “I see how it is. Okay. I guess I’ll just have to work extra hard tonight so that you don’t forget about me while I’m gone.”

  He put down his fork and reached for her hand. “Not possible. I’d never forget about you. But I’ll take whatever you want to give me tonight, regardless.”

  * * * *

  After dessert, Rowena rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher while Van took a shower. She didn’t care that he’d been working all day, but she knew he did, and that was fine because it gave her time to get things ready in the bedroom. The man took longer showers than she did. She lit candles and placed them all around the room, and then she put on her new high heels. She turned down the comforter and arranged the toys she’d bought on top of the turned-down edge, along with condoms and lube, then rearranged everything a few more times.

  Her friends talked about doing this, but they had instructions from their Doms when they did. Either that or they were on their knees, sometimes blindfolded, while their Doms got everything ready. Would Van expect that kind of thing from her one day? And if he did, would she be comfortable doing it?

  Rowena sat on the edge of the bed and listened to the water still running in the shower as she tried to imagine Van blindfolding her while she waited for him to direct their play or lovemaking. She was so used to taking an upper hand in her life that she wasn’t sure she could do it. It wasn’t that the thought of submitting to him in that way was humiliating or subservient in some way. It was simply so out of character for her to wait for him to plan something, to say “when,” or to direct what they did in the bedroom.

  Neither one of them actually directed what they did in here. They just did what they felt like doing that day or night, and it all fit together each time. They were lucky in that respect and they
knew it, but they’d also worked at it for a long time as a couple. How did couples like them who had been together so long adopt this lifestyle? Was it even possible? Had Nash and Van talked about that aspect of it at all?

  Rowena made a mental note to write down all her questions. She’d have two days of driving time with Carma, Eve, Felicity, and the others to ask them. And then she’d have at least a week in Racy, and during that time, maybe she could talk to some of the subs at Maddox McCree’s club?

  Eve said they’d be staying in an empty condo in the same complex where her second cousin, Evan, lived with Cherilyn Barker and Thayer Denning. Cherilyn was Evan and Thayer’s sub. The condo actually belonged to Evan, who had been trying to sell it since June. He and Cherilyn had moved in with Thayer in May, so maybe she could talk to Cherilyn as well?

  But it would be more helpful if she could speak with a couple who had been together as long as she and Van had been, and who had chosen this lifestyle after years of not living it. She wanted to understand how someone made the transition. Rowena wanted to do this for Van, if it was what he really wanted, but she felt lost and confused at the same time.

  The only one of her friends who had been married before was Eve, and Darrin hadn’t been her Dom. Not even close. Angela had been in a long-term relationship with Brett Warner on and off for ten years, but he hadn’t been a Dom to her either. In fact, from what little Rowena had heard, Angela had had very little luck getting Brett to go to Indulgence with her even to watch others play. She had no friends in the same situation as she and Van were. Hopefully, someone in Racy was, and she could talk to them.

  The water finally turned off, and Rowena lay back and closed her eyes, mentally shaking away everything that had happened today. She wanted nothing to interfere with her enjoyment of her sexy husband tonight.

  When he emerged from the bathroom, she heard his sharp intake of breath at the same time she caught the smell of shower gel. He’d used the woodsy-scented stuff she loved. Rowena smiled and put her arms over her head, stretching, to tease him.

  “Stretching in your sleep? Or dreaming about me?” Van climbed on top of her but she kept her eyes closed.

  “Good. You’re sound asleep. Now I can fuck you and you won’t even know it.”

  Rowena couldn’t hold back her laugh. She opened her eyes. “Not saying much for your skills there, lover. I’m pretty sure I’d wake up if you started fucking me in my sleep. Or is this your way of telling me your fantasy where I’m helpless and forced to submit to your depravity?”

  Van grinned in a way that made her pussy wet, and she forced back a moan. “Helpless, eh? As in blindfolded and tied to the bed, helpless?”

  She stared into his eyes, her head spinning with a dozen questions. Why couldn’t she turn off the doubting voices long enough to enjoy this? Everything she and Carma had discussed earlier came flooding back, as well as her lingering uncertainty. One little word, and Van would take it all away. That’s all it would take tonight. She trusted him more than she trusted herself. He’d never hurt her.

  “Your mind is racing, isn’t it? I can see it happening, sweetheart. Tell me what to say right now to help you turn it off.”

  She swallowed hard at the pain in his voice. “I love you, Van.”

  He cupped her face gently. “I love you, too. You know that. Tell me what you want, Rowena. Just say it, and I’ll make it happen.”

  “I wish I knew.”

  “Okay. Fair enough.” He moved off her and glanced at the toys she’d placed on the bed, then stood and crossed the room. He opened the bottom dresser drawer where he normally kept old clothes he wasn’t certain he wanted to give away quite yet, and pulled out a bag from Sassy Brassy. “I did some shopping of my own on the way home.”

  She chuckled. “Brassy must be enjoying imagining what we’re doing in here with all these new toys.”

  “We’re not doing anything yet.” He pulled out a long piece of black lace. “Not unless you say it’s okay.”

  She sat up. “Can I have a safeword?”

  The relief on his face nearly brought tears to her eyes. He’d been afraid she’d refuse to be blindfolded. “Of course. Absolutely. Most of the Doms use ‘red,’ according to Nash. It stops the scene, no questions asked.”

  “All right.” She knew they used other colors, too, but Rowena’s brain seemed to have shut down and she couldn’t remember them right now. No point in complicating matters unnecessarily. “You said you wanted me tied to the bed as well.”

  “One step at a time.” He placed the bag on the bed, close to the paddle and riding crop she’d bought earlier, and then he sat next to her. His eyes burned with lust and uncertainty, and she wished she knew what to say to take away the latter. When he leaned down and kissed her, Rowena wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and moaned in the back of her throat. Van had always been the best kisser.

  He released her mouth and trailed his tongue down her neck, then over her collar bones, and finally into her cleavage. “I love your tits. I’ve always loved your tits. I’m going to fuck them tonight, after I paddle them. What do you think of that?”

  Rowena sucked in a sharp breath as that image rose in her mind. “Whatever you say, Sir.”

  He glanced at her, grinning again. “Sir? I get to be called ‘Sir’ tonight?”

  “Is that all right?”

  “It’s wonderful.” He kissed her gently on the lips. “Thank you.” Van slipped the blindfold around her head and tied it, and then he moved her into the center of the bed and crawled on top of her. Rowena wrapped her arms and legs around him and drew him close, wishing they could just stay like this forever. She didn’t want to think about Trace Coleman, Jason Monroe, or her upcoming trip to Racy. She wanted her thoughts to be filled only with Van.

  The blindfold had an unexpected consequence. Each touch and smell was enhanced. She noticed the calluses on his hands, and the way his right hand moved a bit less smoothly across her breasts than his left one did. She caught not only the scent of his shower gel, but also the smell of his shaving cream.

  His tongue and lips worked their magic on her mouth, and soon Rowena was moaning and writhing against him in an effort to bring about her climax. He’d kissed her for the first time when she was a freshman in high school, after a dance, on a dare from his football buddies. He’d been a junior and a football star by then. But by the time he’d released that kiss, standing on her parents’ front porch under a warm autumn night and a full moon, she’d known that she wanted him. All of him. Forever.

  Rowena pushed aside the thoughts that kept trying to return to her four years away from Van and Passion Peak, and instead she relaxed into his embrace as he released her mouth and kissed her neck again. Even his mouth on her skin felt more intense tonight. It was as if she could feel each centimeter of his lips, including the differences between his upper and lower ones. This was amazing. Why hadn’t she let him blindfold her before now? Why had he never asked?

  He grasped her breasts and ran his thumbs along the leather inserts on the corset. “This is nice. I love the color on you. If I’d known you were buying this, I would have picked up a blindfold that matched it.”

  “You still can, you know. She has them in several colors.”

  “Oh, I like that. We must have things color-coordinated, after all.”

  The humor in his voice made her smile. “Complaining about the decorating in your house?”

  “Not even close.” He teased her nipples though the fabric with his teeth, eliciting loud moans from her. She didn’t bother trying to hold them back. She wanted him to know how much she was enjoying this.

  “If it wouldn’t ruin this I’d take it off with my teeth.”

  Rowena giggled. “You should be able to untie the laces with them.”

  “Don’t tell me what to do, sub.”

  A comment like that from him, even said in a teasing tone of voice, would have normally set her on edge, but tonight it sent shivers of anticipation up a
nd down her spine. Was it the blindfold, or had something else happened to give her a different perspective? And why was she still questioning it? Why couldn’t she shut it off and enjoy it?

  Van moved his mouth away from her corset. “Uh-oh. Something is wrong.”

  “What?” She glanced around, which immediately made her feel silly because she couldn’t see a damn thing. Her hands came up to take off the blindfold but he caught both wrists in one strong hand.

  “You didn’t you threaten to hand me my balls when I called you ‘sub.’ What did Carma say to you today?”

  “Nothing. Nothing at all.” Liar.

  “Then it must be the blindfold.” He licked the inside of her right forearm, which she’d never found erotic before, but tonight it forced another moan from her. “I think I will tie you to the bed, after all. You’re still not relaxed enough.”

  She could feel him waiting for her answer. If she could see his face right now, she knew exactly what expression she’d see on it and how his eyes would look. It was time to stop fucking around and do this for real. She wanted it. He wanted it. There was no reason to hold back, and nothing was going to go wrong or hurt her.

  She nodded. “Yes, Sir. Tie me to the bed. Please. I want to submit to you completely tonight.”

  Chapter Seven

  Rowena held her breath while she listened to Van rummage in the bag he’d placed on the bed. The next touch on her on her skin was leather. “Lie on your back for now.” She did as he asked, and when Van fitted soft cuffs around her wrists, a sliver of fear tried to push its way in, but she sent it packing. He clipped them together and then he removed her panties. He placed cuffs around her ankles and she felt tugging, as though he were attaching something to the cuffs themselves.

  “Nash said to use rope or chains, but since I know you wouldn’t want me using the latter, I’m threading bondage rope through the rings on the cuffs, and then I’ll tie it to the posts at the foot of the bed. It’s soft, and they use it specifically for tying up people. You can even use it on skin, and it won’t bite into it like coarse rope or twine would.”