Seducing Carma [Passion Peak, Colorado 1] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Tara Rose

  “Holy shit. Jesus. Carma, do you think it’s stolen?”

  “I don’t know about that, but I’m willing to bet not all of his money was, how shall I say this? Acquired in an entirely ethical or legal way.”

  “That’s not exactly a secret in Passion Peak, Carma.”

  “I know.”

  “What are you going to do with it?”

  She shrugged. “No clue. It would buy me a nice house or a condo, but could I live there? It’s a payoff, Mateo. Plain and simple. What other reason would he have had to leave me that much money? It’s ten times what most of them got.”

  Mateo nodded slowly, and then he took another sip of his coffee. “I have to agree with you, Carma. It sounds like a payoff.”

  “I wish there was a charity or an organization I could give it to, but then there would be questions, don’t you think?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think so. You inherited it. You can prove that.”

  They rode in silence for a few minutes while Def Leppard sang about a photograph. When Mateo spoke again, his voice held a thoughtful tone. “I know a place that could use the money, but only if you’re serious about giving it away.”

  “What place is that?”

  “Open Arms. Larry told me about a program he’s starting there, but also mentioned how a lot of their programs are in dire straits.”

  “Rowena and Van keep mentioning them. They want me to go to counseling.”

  Mateo glanced sharply at her. “How do you feel about that?”

  Carma squirmed in her seat. “I don’t know, Mateo. The idea of telling that story to strangers makes me uncomfortable.”

  The corners of his mouth turned up. “Blaine and I were strangers when you told us.”

  “No you weren’t.” As soon as she said it, she knew he was right. “Okay. Maybe you were, but it’s not the same thing.”

  “Why not, love? Because we’d had sex with you by then? Carma, we’re not professional counselors. And Lord knows Blaine and I could both benefit from talking to someone about the shit in our pasts. I agree with Van and Rowena.”

  “Well then, if I go, you two have to as well.”

  Mateo gave her a grin that sent a shock wave of desire straight to her pussy. How could she get horny under these circumstances? The man was magical. He had to be. “You know, you aren’t behaving very much like a sub right now.”

  Carma threw up her hands in frustration and let out a loud sigh. “Do I ever? I have no clue what I’m doing.”

  Mateo reached over with his right hand and rubbed her back in a way that made her relax almost instantly. “Please don’t say that, Carma. I was only teasing you. You’re wonderful. Blaine and I enjoy you so much. And, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing either. Going to clubs with Blaine in college didn’t automatically make me a Dom. There’s plenty of time to learn protocol, okay? Right now, let’s work on one thing at a time.”

  “You’re okay with that? Honestly?”

  “Honestly, Carma.”

  She thought about everything he’d just said as the sun began to set and they cruised along the highway. Maybe it would be the right thing to do? But would a professional counselor be able to help her make sense of this any more than Mateo and Blaine had already done?

  As soon as the thought took shape, Carma knew there was more to it than spending time with Blaine and Mateo. How could she learn to be the sub they both wanted until she healed from her past? What had happened to her in Lincoln Park was still all mixed up with her long-held beliefs about BDSM. “Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll make an appointment at Open Arms. But I want you and Blaine to think about doing the same.”

  “I will, Carma. I promise. And, I’m betting Blaine will be willing to give it a shot as well. We’ll talk to him about it when we get to Chicago, okay?”

  “Okay.” She stared at his profile, aching to let the words come out. But what if he didn’t feel the same way? There were times she swore she saw love in his eyes, but then she’d convince herself she was imagining it. Then again, how would she know what it looked like in someone’s eyes? No one except her parents or Annalise had ever told her they loved her, and that wasn’t the same thing.

  But this wasn’t the time. For now, it was enough to know he wanted her to get professional help, and to know he was willing to get some as well. It was enough to be driving to Chicago with him, where they could both be with Blaine and support him through this, no matter the outcome.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  “I wish you didn’t have to wait this out,” said Carma, watching Blaine as the three ate breakfast in the hotel dining room. “It’s not fair. They should just give you an answer.”

  “That’s the way things work.” Blaine looked more tired than Carma could ever remember seeing him look.

  “As long as we’re here, do you want to show us around Lake View?” asked Mateo.

  Blaine shrugged. “If you want to see it.”

  Carma and Mateo exchanged a glance. Blaine looked totally defeated. The only time they’d seen him light up was shortly after they’d arrived late last night and told him about Carma and Mateo’s plans to seek help from a counselor. He’d promised to give some thought to making an appointment as well, but it had been clear from his expression when he’d said it that he wasn’t convinced he’d ever be back in Passion Peak again.

  “We don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to,” she said. “We can stay here and just hang out.”

  Blaine shook his head. “No. I don’t want to do that. That’s actually a great idea. I want to show you both where I grew up.”

  Thirty minutes later, Blaine drove along North McKinley Road, pointing out various businesses.

  “It looks nothing like Passion Peak,” said Carma.

  Blaine smiled, and Carma’s heart gave a strange lurch. “It was founded about the same time, in 1857. It’s always been known for big houses and as a hideaway for the rich.”

  “Did you grow up close to here?” she asked.

  “Down this street.” Blaine pulled onto Edgewood Road, and stopped in front of a huge, white, sprawling house with green shutters. “It was built in 1894 and was passed down through our family.”

  Carma stared at it with her mouth open. “Holy shit.”

  “It’s just a house.” Blaine sounded embarrassed.

  “Just a house? It’s a mansion, Blaine. Do your parents still live there? We should stop in.” Blaine glanced in his rear-view mirror, and Carma turned in her seat just in time to see a look of distress pass over Mateo’s face. “What did I miss?” she asked quietly.

  “You didn’t know,” said Blaine, giving her a look of tender concern. “They were killed when I was a senior in college.”

  “Oh God,” she whispered. “Blaine, I’m so sorry.”

  “They were driving home from a party and the freeway was icy. A semi-truck sideswiped them and their car rolled over several times. They died at the scene.”

  Carma shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. From the back seat, Mateo rubbed her left shoulder, and then Blaine pulled her into his arms, leaning across the console. “You didn’t know, love.”

  “Is that why you’re not staying with family this week?” asked Carma.

  Blaine nodded. “I still have family here, and I own the house, but several cousins are living in it right now. They know what happened, and why I’m here. We’ve talked on the phone, but we’re not close. Never really were. They invited me to stay, but I just couldn’t handle that right now.”

  “You own this?”

  Blaine released the embrace and gazed into her eyes. He looked embarrassed. “Carma, I don’t actually need to work. I do it because I want to. I own the house, and I have more money tied up in stocks and family businesses than I could ever spend.”

  “I had no idea.” They both did something they loved to do, even though they could easily just sit home and let people wait on them, hand and foot. It spoke to their character more than an
y act they could perform or words they could utter.

  He almost smiled, and her heart gave a strange lurch. “I didn’t want to you to have sex with me just because of my money.”

  “I would never do that.”

  “I know, love. I was teasing you.” He pulled her close again, and Carma held onto him tightly.

  A car horn behind them caused him to release the embrace again. He drove to the end of the street and turned left onto Spruce Avenue, then turned left into the driveway leading to Lake View High School. “This is where I went to high school.”

  Blaine drove around the campus, and then up and down the streets near it, pointing out various homes where people he’d known had grown up. After a half hour or so, he pulled into Artesian Park so they could get out and stretch their legs a bit.

  “This is tougher than I thought it would be.”

  “I’m really sorry if asking about your parents triggered bad memories for you, Blaine.”

  He glanced at her with what could only be called love in his expression, and Carma nearly gasped at the depth of emotion in his eyes. “Carma, you didn’t do anything to make me feel this way. Just being here is rough, especially right now. As much as I miss home, I don’t want to be here under these circumstances.”

  “I understand what you mean,” said Mateo. “I haven’t been able to so much as drive past Rifle since Fiona drowned herself.”

  Carma stared at him. “But we went through it to get to I-70. You haven’t been there in two years? Oh, Mateo…I didn’t realize that.”

  He shook his head. “It’s okay. I didn’t say anything to you. It’s the quickest way I know to get to I-70 from Passion Peak, so I just did it.”

  She grabbed his hand as she pictured her uncle’s house on North Fremont Street in Lincoln Park. What right had she to judge either of them? “I’ve never been back to my uncle’s house. Not in sixteen years.”

  “Do you want to drive past it? We’re not that far away.”

  She glanced at Blaine. He was serious, and he was right. It wasn’t more than a half hour away, and they had nothing else to do but wait. They were both with her, so maybe it would all right? And perhaps it was exactly what she finally needed to do.

  Mateo touched her shoulder and she nearly jumped. “If you do this, we’ll all take a ride past the quarry when we get back.”

  “Assuming I get back,” muttered Blaine.

  “You will,” said Mateo. “I know you will. This trip was Carma’s idea, but it turns out that we each needed it. The only way we can move forward is to face the shit that happened to us in the past. All of us.” He gave Carma’s shoulder a squeeze.

  “Okay,” she said. “Let’s go.”

  Twenty-five minutes later, as Blaine pulled onto North Freemont Street, Carma’s pulse raced. She’d been fine the entire drive, but now that they were actually on the street, she wished she’d said “no.” She turned sideways in her seat and grabbed Mateo’s hand from the back. “It’s the stone one on the left, just past the brick house on the corner.”

  The home didn’t look any different. She had no idea if Tim and his wife still lived in it. She’d heard through the grapevine that they had for a while, but she wasn’t sure if they did now. It didn’t matter. They weren’t going to walk up to the front door and ring the bell.

  Blaine pulled across the street and Carma stared at the house in which she’d waited for Michael to return every single day that horrible summer, sixteen years ago. It didn’t seem real anymore. She remembered what the inside of every single room looked like, and she could identify which windows belonged to which rooms. She recalled the birdbath in the backyard, the in-ground pool that she’d swam in exactly one time that summer, and the way the basement always smelled faintly of moth balls.

  She remembered Michael’s bedroom, which thankfully faced the backyard. He’d had a Chicago Bears poster hanging above his bed, and to the left on the wall had been posters of popular sports figures, none of whom she could recall right now.

  His sheets had been navy blue with white stripes, and he’d had a lock on the door. She distinctly remembered that because the day he’d tried to rape her he had locked it, perhaps knowing his father was on his way home.

  Carma began to tremble as she recalled that day. He’d asked if she wanted to see his Star Wars figures. He claimed to have originals from 1977 and Carma had wanted to see them, so she followed him into the room. It had taken him less than ten minutes to pin her on the bed and try to kiss her. She’d been mortified. They were cousins, after all, but Michael had told her that she was going to enjoy this, and then he had torn her shirt trying to get it off.

  Carma remembered being more stunned than afraid at first, although the fear had certainly settled in soon afterwards. She’d kicked and punched him, but all that had done was make him more determined.

  She’d run to the door and tried to unlock it, but couldn’t. As he came at her again, she’d run around the room, trying to evade his grasp. When he’d pinned her on the bed a second time, she’d reached out for the first thing her gaze had fallen on. The alarm clock was hard plastic, and it connected with Michael’s forehead just as her uncle Dominick’s voice had boomed up the stairs, calling for Michael. His face had gone pale, and he’d unlocked the door and then turned around and told her this wasn’t over.

  By that evening, Michael was in jail. But then he’d come back in two days and cornered her in the basement. Carma had been terrified all over again, but everyone was in the house so she knew he wouldn’t try anything.

  She’d told him that she’d scream if he touched her but he’d only laughed and told her he was leaving for New York, and that he’d return to finish what he’d started. He’d said that she could bank on it.

  Blaine pulled her into his arms as the tears slipped down her cheeks. He stroked her hair. “It’s okay, Carma. He can never hurt you again. The memories are scary, but they can’t do anything to you. You’re safe. You’re here with Mateo and me. We won’t let anything happen to you.”

  The memories washed over her, but this time their effect was different. She could still see, smell and hear Michael, but the sensations had lost some of their potency. They were no longer all mixed up with the monsters who haunted her dreams and hid under her bed in the middle of the night. How was that possible?

  Mateo put his arms around her from the back seat. “Just let it out, Carma. It’s going to be okay. I promise you. We’ll find a way to make this go away for you.”

  How could these two, after what they’d each been through, offer her such perfect words of comfort? What about their pain? They were too good to be true, and she was so in love with both of them it was overwhelming. They needed to know that, but not right now. She didn’t want them to think that the only reason she loved them was because they were comforting her over something that had happened so long ago.

  And Blaine had his own issues to deal with right now. Once they knew his fate, then she’d tell them. She’d find the courage to say the words. They had a right to know. “I’m okay now. Let’s go.”

  Blaine released her and cupped her face gently. “Are you sure?”

  She nodded. “Yes.” There was nothing to see here. It was only a house. The memories were only pictures in her head. They couldn’t do any real harm to her. Michael was gone. He might even be dead. And even if he showed up on her doorstep one day, he would never hurt her again. Never.

  * * * *

  Blaine jumped slightly when his cell phone rang late Friday afternoon. He, Carma, and Mateo were on the sofa in the hotel room, watching old movies on TV. Mateo was actually asleep, and the phone woke him up. He and Carma both stared at Blaine with a mixture of fear and hope, and Blaine’s heart raced when he saw it was Sam calling.

  “Hi, Sam.” His pulse was thumping so fast he hoped he passed out. His life was over anyway. And the worst part was that he’d never told Carma how much he loved her.

  “They’ve decided. Do you want the news on
the phone or in person?”

  Blaine took a deep breath. Did it really matter? “Tell me now.”

  “You’re free.”

  Carma and Mateo heard Sam’s words, and suddenly Mateo was twirling Carma around as she cried out in surprise and joy. Blaine blinked a few times, convinced he’d just hallucinated. “Excuse me?”

  “I said you’re free, Blaine. They believed your side of it. They decided you had nothing to do with it, and were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. The DA agrees. They’re not going to prosecute. You can go home now.”

  “Oh my God.” Blaine was suddenly light-headed and his stomach was roiling, as though he might puke any second. “Are you sure?”

  Sam chuckled. “Yes, I’m positive. Go home. And keep my number if you ever need it again, or if anyone from Colorado needs a good attorney in Chicago.”

  “I will. Yes. Thank you, Sam. Good bye.”

  Blaine stared at Mateo and Carma, still twirling and laughing. Finally they stopped, and Carma came over and straddled him. She put her arms and around him and nuzzled against his chest. His dick jumped to attention. “Blaine…I’m so happy. This is over for you.”

  He cupped her face and gazed into her dark eyes. It was over, but his life with her was just beginning. It was now or never. If he didn’t say it right now, driving back to Passion Peak wouldn’t make him any braver. “Carma, I love you. I’ve loved you since the first night I saw you, half naked, coming down the stairs in Mateo’s wing.”

  The smile left her face and her jaw dropped open. If it hadn’t been for the look of lust and love in her eyes, Blaine would have been afraid he’d just made an ass out of himself. “Oh my God,” she whispered. “Blaine, I love you, too.”

  She turned and held out her left hand, which Mateo took. “I love you, too, Mateo. This is crazy. How can I love you both? Oh, God…please say you love me, too, Mateo…”

  * * * *

  Carma watched Mateo’s smile grow so large, she was certain it would consume his handsome face. He knelt next to her and kissed her so deep and so rough that she was moaning by the time he released the kiss. She could feel Blaine’s dick growing hard against her pussy, even though her jeans.