Dance of the Deadly Dinosaurs

by Jackie French

  He had to get out of here! His paws began to scrabble automatically through the floor of the plane. Suddenly he stopped. Go where? Where was he trying to dig a hole to? If they were flying all there was outside was…nothing…

  He had to find the weapon! That was it! He’d sniff out the secret weapon and destroy it! And when the plane opened those Guardians would find an angry werewolf Hero, not the dead puppy they’d expected. That would teach them.

  He sniffed. And sniffed again. Why wasn’t his nose working? What was happening to his tummy? Why was—?

  Glurk.

  This morning’s fried eyeballs spilt out onto the floor of the plane.

  Dimly he was aware that the plane was dropping, lower, lower, lower…but there was still an eyeball that wanted to get out. Or maybe two…

  Glurk!

  Boo gasped. That had to be the last eyeball. Now to find the secret weapon—

  The plane opened.

  THE THREE GREAT RULES OF LIFE

  1 Never lift your leg until after the Top Dog has widdled first.

  2 Never eat the last stuffed cockroach in the bowl.

  3 And never EVER do THAT on the rug.

  DAME KARA VAN’S GUIDE TO WEREWOLF ETIQUETTE

  10

  Yesterday Decides

  ‘Boo! Are you all right?’ It was Yesterday’s voice.

  Boo forced his head up. His paws shook, his tummy felt like it had been whirled round in the mixing bowl at the Best Ice-Cream Shop in the Universes, and his breath smelt like eyeballs and vinegar.

  Yesterday still wore what was left of the green dress. Her feet were still bare. But her hair looked neater, as though someone had given her a comb, and her face and hands were clean. She looked at him with concern.

  ‘Glurk,’ said Boo again, as his tummy settled back down. ‘I’ve co—’ He gulped down the words. He had been going to say he’d come to rescue her. But somehow he felt more like a puppy standing in a pool of its own vomit than a Hero on a rescue mission. ‘There was a weapon on the plane,’ he whispered instead. ‘A horrible secret weapon! It made me sick and—’

  ‘Um, Boo.’ Yesterday looked like she was trying not to smile. ‘I think you were just airsick.’

  ‘Airsick?’

  She nodded. ‘Haven’t you ever flown before?’

  ‘No, of course not. I’m not a pig.’

  ‘Do pigs fly in your universe?’

  ‘Don’t they everywhere?’ Boo looked around.

  They were in a room as big as the whole marketplace back in Sleepy Whiskers. It looked like it was made of rock, but not the grey rock of Yesterday’s hut, or the black volcanic rock of the School for Heroes. This rock was green and slightly translucent. It glowed, as though it had trapped a thousand tiny suns.

  Green floor, green walls, green ceiling, a big, automatically closing door that must have been where the flying tube had entered and another smaller door behind them. No furniture, just the flying tube. No other people…

  ‘Where are we?’ asked Boo quietly.

  ‘The airport—the place where the planes land—in one of the Guardians’ cities. I don’t know which one. They don’t tell slaves things we don’t need to know.’ Yesterday’s voice was flat.

  ‘Well, I’ve come to tell them they don’t have any right to keep you as a slave.’

  Yesterday almost smiled. Boo realised how much he’d like to see her smile properly again.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said softly. ‘But I don’t think they’ll pay much attention.’

  ‘But I’m a Hero! A Level 4.’

  ‘So am I. That doesn’t impress a Guardian—’

  ‘Have you ever told them they’re wrong?’ barked Boo.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Well then…’ Boo tried to find the right words. He should have practised them before he set out, he realised. What had Ms Snott said? Thinking beats swords every time. But he hadn’t thought about this at all. He’d just rushed off and acted.

  Some Hero, he thought. But I’m here now. ‘Adults often don’t think about things,’ he said. ‘They’re used to doing things in a particular way. Maybe your Guardians are like that. If they looked at keeping slaves—really thought about it—they might see that it’s wrong.’

  ‘Maybe.’ Yesterday’s voice was expressionless again. ‘Anyway, one of them wants to see you.’

  Aha, thought Boo. So they are impressed that a Hero’s here! ‘The Chief Guardian?’

  Yesterday shrugged. ‘I don’t know that either. I don’t think so. But she is the one who gives me orders. Come on. I’ll get into trouble if she’s kept waiting,’ she added.

  They walked out into a corridor made of the same stone as the room. There were no windows, but the rock itself gave light, a strange green brightness as though they were under the sea—a much cleaner sea than the one in the Universe of Glug. The corridor curved back and forth, as though made by some giant snake.

  Boo’s claws clicked against the cool stone. Yesterday’s bare feet were soundless.

  ‘How’s Squeak?’

  ‘Squeak!’ The tiny animal stuck his head up at the sound of his name.

  ‘Squeak squeak squeak squeak, squeak?’

  ‘Oh, Squeak.’ Yesterday reached down. Her thin fingers stroked Squeak’s velvet head. ‘Squeak squeak. Squeak.’

  Squeak ducked down into the pouch again.

  ‘What did he say?’

  ‘Squeak,’ said Yesterday. She gave the almost smile again. ‘It doesn’t translate well.’

  ‘Yesterday, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you back at your hut?’

  ‘I’ve got another job, now I’ve new skills. I only found out about it last night when I got back. I’m supposed to Find animals all across the planet whenever anyone wants to look at them. I can tell the animals what the Guardians want them to do too.’

  ‘Is it better here than at your hut?’ asked Boo cautiously. Maybe now Yesterday was a Hero Level 4 she was honoured, just like he was back home.

  Maybe she didn’t want to come back to school at all.

  ‘I only came here this morning, remember,’ said Yesterday, still expressionless. ‘There’ll be more to eat here. Maybe.’ She glanced down at him. ‘I’ll miss them though,’ she added, in an almost whisper.

  ‘Your dinosaurs?’

  She nodded. ‘They were my first real friends, till I met you and Mug.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Boo. ‘Mug doesn’t know you’ve left the school yet,’ he added. I should have waited for Mug, he thought. The big zombie had a right to help their friend, too.

  Had he made a mess of things?

  Yesterday pulled him back to let a cart pass. It had wheels, but was pulled by a team of six humans, all men and older than Yesterday, wearing leather tunics and leather harnesses across their shoulders. They all had deep white scars down their arms. They kept their eyes on the floor, and didn’t even nod to Yesterday as they passed.

  Boo glanced at her. She didn’t seem to notice anything strange in a mob of people passing without saying hello.

  ‘In here.’ Yesterday paused at another door. She pushed it open, then waited for Boo to trot in before her.

  Boo looked around. The room was like the first one, big and empty. ‘Where’s the Guardian?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Yesterday simply. ‘We just wait.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘Boo, I’m a slave. That means I do what I am told. I don’t ask questions. I was told to bring you here. I did. Now we wait.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Boo.

  They waited.

  Boo watched the door. But he used his nose, too. Smells told you so much more than eyes. He was the best smeller in Sleepy Whiskers. He could smell a rat’s whisker twitching on the mountains!

  This place smelt…different. That’s the trouble with noses, thought Boo. Unfamiliar smells didn’t tell you very much. In fact, he thought, it’s what I can’t smell that’s more interesting.

  In the past, in every universe he’d
been to, he’d always been able to smell anyone around. But all he could smell here was himself (the dead cow essence he’d rolled in this morning still smelt good), the Yesterdays and the dinosaurs.

  The Guardians must still be a long way away, he thought, if I can’t smell them at all yet.

  He shook his head. The door had vanished! No, the whole wall had vanished!

  In its place was a rocky ledge. It glowed, just like the rock of this room, but deep orange instead of green. It was occupied by the largest dinosaur Boo had ever seen.

  It was long and smooth, with a high forehead and long smooth tail, and a stomach that bulged against the rock. It seemed to be asleep, but as Boo watched it opened one brown eye.

  ‘Ruff!’ barked Boo. He wasn’t sure why…maybe because the sleepy dinosaur looked just like the lizards back home. He and the other pups used to wake them up to chase them across the rocks.

  ‘Shh,’ hissed Yesterday. She knelt down and pressed her face to the floor.

  ‘What—?’ began Boo. He stared at Yesterday and then at the dinosaur. He could never imagine this monster dancing.

  The dinosaur opened its other eye. It gazed at them. ‘Well?’ it said.

  Boo growled, deep in his throat. There was something about this creature that made him want to nip its tail, just to hear it yelp. Bad dog, he told himself. Down! ‘I’m the Hero Boojum Bark, of Sleepy Whiskers and the School for Heroes,’ he said instead. ‘I’m here to see the Guardians.’

  ‘Well?’ repeated the dinosaur. It closed one eye. ‘You have twenty seconds,’ it added. ‘After that I will be bored.’

  ‘You—you’re a Guardian?’

  ‘Fifteen seconds,’ murmured the Guardian.

  ‘Grrr—rright.’ Boo took three seconds to think of the words. ‘I demand that you release the Hero Yesterday. She is needed to bring order to the Ghastly Otherwhen, to free the creatures hypnotised by the Greedle. Plus it’s wrong to keep slaves because—’

  ‘One second,’ said the dinosaur. It closed its other eye. ‘Now go away.’

  ‘But…but you can’t do that! I’m a Hero! Yesterday is a Hero! The universes need Heroes! Who will defend you if bogeys invade up the wormhole?’

  Half a brown eye opened. The creature almost looked amused. ‘Who ate the Greedle when it invaded this universe?’

  ‘Er. Um. The dinosaurs,’ admitted Boo.

  ‘Exactly. Not you Heroes. Our pets destroyed the creature none of you lesser beings had been able to touch, all in 17.32 seconds. The Greedle’s power only works on lesser beings—not us. If any bogey invades here I’m sure the Ancestors can deal with them again.’

  ‘The Ancestors?’

  ‘The ones the lesser beings tend.’

  Suddenly Boo understood. ‘Lesser beings? That’s humans? And werewolves and—’

  ‘And any being who is not a Guardian.’ The dinosaur shut its eye again. ‘You were amusing for fourteen seconds. Now I’m bored. Go.’

  It made a clicking sound. All at once a dozen children ran in, silent and obedient in their leather tunics and bare feet, holding brushes. They began to scrub the massive animal, clambering up its side to reach its smooth ridges.

  And then the wall was back again. The dinosaur had vanished.

  ZOMBIE ISLAND CELEBRATION MENU

  Entrée: Zombie Onion Soup (with mallets)

  Main course: Zombie Stir-Fried Slug and

  Greens (with hammers)

  Dessert: Zombie Pavlova (with tennis rackets)

  Tea. Coffee. Lemon Drink. Zombie chocolates,

  snail and pineapple flavour. Don’t worry

  chocolates escape. Snails move slow.

  11

  Yesterday’s World

  Yesterday stood up. ‘We have to go back to the plane.’ She bit her lip. ‘Thank you,’ she added softly. ‘Thank you for trying.’

  ‘But…but…’ Boo looked around. There was nothing to see, except the glowing green walls. He didn’t even know where they were, he realised, or if the creature had really been there or was a sort of television picture. ‘Yesterday, come with me! Escape!’ he whispered urgently.

  Yesterday looked down at him. ‘How?’

  ‘Just follow me down the wormhole!’

  ‘There’s no need to whisper,’ said Yesterday in her normal voice. ‘In fact there is no point in whispering. The Guardians can hear us no matter how softly we speak. The Guardians know everything.’

  ‘Yesterday—’

  ‘You must go, Boo. No, I will not escape.’

  Yesterday began walking across the room and out the door, then down the corridor again.

  Boo scurried after her. ‘But…but why not? Why did you ever come back here? You could have stayed at the school—or come to live in my universe, or Mug’s.’

  ‘I’m not a zombie.’

  ‘That’s not an answer!’

  Yesterday said nothing.

  They walked along the corridor. Boo lifted his nose—another group of humans was coming towards them. He stared as they rounded the corner.

  They were so young—younger than him. Younger than Yesterday and the boy back at the hut and the children who’d scrubbed the Guardian. They were even thinner, and curiously bowed as though they were too tired to stand straight—or perhaps the tools they carried over their shoulders were heavy for them to bear. They also had scars down their arms, and on their legs and ankles.

  They looked at the floor as well, casting only furtive glances at Yesterday and Boo as they passed. Didn’t humans even say hi or smile at each other in this place?

  Suddenly he blinked. For Yesterday had smiled at them—one of her rare true smiles—but it was so brief he wondered if he had imagined it.

  He looked back at the children. Maybe he was imagining this too, but it almost seemed like the children walked straighter now.

  He glanced back at Yesterday. She was expressionless again, as though she had not seen the children pass by.

  ‘Are they slaves?’ asked Boo quietly.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Is every human here a slave?’

  ‘Of course.’ Yesterday’s voice was carefully impassive. ‘The Guardians are the most ancient race in this universe. They were here first, long before us. The human race is so much younger than the Guardians. We could never have their wisdom and intelligence.’

  Boo growled softly. The big dinosaur hadn’t seemed all that brilliant to him. But he supposed Yesterday couldn’t say anything else if the Guardians might be listening.

  Yesterday had reached the room with the flying thing now. She stopped and, for the first time ever, bent down and scratched behind his ears. ‘Thank you again, Boo,’ she said softly. ‘Your coming here means more than I can say. Now go.’

  ‘No, I—’

  ‘Boo, if you stay things will be bad for me.’ Again there was no expression in Yesterday’s voice. But her eyes made their own plea clear. ‘Go. Now. Please.’

  Was that a tear falling on his fur? Boo stood up on his hind legs and licked her face. Yes, they were tears.

  Then he trotted onto the flying thing. It closed around him.

  HOW TO MAKE A TOASTED CHEESE, TOMATO AND ASPARAGUS SANDWICH (CRUSTLESS)

  Call servant.

  Ask for sandwich.

  Eat with silver knife and fork.

  Call servant to brush off crumbs.

  FROM REALLY REALLY ROYAL RECIPES BY PRINCESS PRINCESS SUNBEAM CARESSE VON PEWKÉ

  12

  Why?

  He was numb. He’d howled for Mum. He couldn’t howl for Yesterday. Yesterday would hate anyone to howl for her. Yesterday might be a slave, but she still had pride.

  He shouldn’t have left her. But he had to leave her! I had no choice, he told himself. That look in Yesterday’s eyes…

  What would, they have done to her if he’d refused to leave? What would they have done if she had tried to escape with him?

  What could, they do? Surely they couldn’t touch her once she was down the wor
mhole. Even the Guardians couldn’t hurt anyone at the School for Heroes.

  Could they?

  He needed to think. If he’d thought before he’d dashed off maybe things would have been different. He needed to find the library and look up the Guardians. Surely they had weak spots! He also needed to ask all the old Heroes at Rest in Pieces what they knew of the Guardians and about their universe. Then he’d know what to do.

  It isn’t going to end here, Boo reassured himself. It can’t.

  The plane bumped gently as it landed, and whirled to a stop.

  Its walls unfolded.

  Boo stepped out. There was no sign of the boy slave. There was nothing to be seen at all, except the rocks, the hut. Boo padded across the rock, and slid underneath the leather hammock. He felt the ground sink beneath him, into the wormhole.

  Yesterday, and her world, were gone.

  Graunt Doom was waiting for him at the exit when he passed through the wormhole, too downcast even to yell ‘student approaching’ to the waiting guards.

  It was the elderly gorilla again today, as well as a fossilised-looking mermaid in a wheelchair. They were studying a crossword puzzle and scarcely looked up as Boo padded out onto the ledge.

  Graunt Doom leant on her stick, but the ancient zombie’s gaze was sharp as Boo approached. Mug stood next to her, his red-rimmed eyes sympathetic.

  ‘Could have told you it would be no use,’ boomed Graunt Doom.

  ‘But you didn’t,’ said Boo bitterly.

  Graunt Doom shook her head. ‘Would have made no difference, boy.’

  And she was right, thought Boo. He’d have charged off to Yesterday’s world no matter what the old Finder had told him.

  ‘Graunt Doom say now you wants to find out about the Guardians,’ rumbled Mug.

  Boo nodded. ‘Yesterday’s trapped there,’ he whispered. ‘She won’t even try to escape. Why not? There has to be some way—’

  ‘No,’ said Graunt Doom.