Endurance

by Amy Daws

  I can feel his quizzical frown on me. “That seems like an odd choice of words when you just referred to them as angels.”

  My eyes sting as a flash of my childhood hits me out of nowhere. I was eleven years old and in a dazzling party dress. My mother and father welcomed people at the door of our home, one by one. There were loads of smiles, gushing conversations, and incredible food and drinks. Everything was glamorous and exciting to a young girl, but my spirit was low…because I had a word count. A specific number of words I could utter before I had to go to bed. Eleven, same as my age. As soon as I hit eleven words, I had to excuse myself and go to my room for the rest of the evening.

  I look at Tanner, who’s still eyeing me with curiosity, awaiting my reply. “In my family, children were supposed to be seen, not heard. So perhaps when I say devil’s advocate, it’s a bit of my upbringing leaking out.” The sympathetic expression on Tanner’s face pains me, so I quickly stammer, “It’s not how I see children, though. Not at all. Doing this kind of work gives those voiceless tiny babes a way to be heard. I’m proud of that.” I exhale a shaky breath, feeling like I’ve launched into complete verbal diarrhea and it needs to stop right the hell now. “You know, I’ve never spoken this deeply about any of this before, not even with Indie. Tanner Harris Deep Talk is pungent.”

  I look up at him with a forced smile and am mortified when a stray tear slips down my face. I didn’t even feel it coming. But what surprises me more is the tenderness that washes over Tanner’s face.

  He reaches toward me and drags his knuckle along my cheek. “Stings the eyes.” He winks and offers me a kind smile.

  This is too much. Too intimate. Too much sharing. Time to get back to business.

  “So,” I bark out loudly, doing my best to shatter the moment. “You think your brothers would be willing to come to the event with their deep pockets?”

  He huffs. “I think I can manage.”

  SPENDING THE NEXT FEW DAYS alone in my flat makes me want to climb the walls. I work out in our home gym more than I should, fatiguing my muscles until I can barely sit up to grab the remote for the telly. I run around the neighbourhood, passing by a vacant Tower Park as my team is off playing somewhere else. Without me. I ache to be back in the stadium and on the pitch working out with my team instead of running out here like a lone wolf. Regardless, this is what I have to do. I may be suspended from the team but I refuse to let myself fall behind because of it. And when the time comes, I know my dad will make sure I earn my spot back on the pitch.

  I was, however, allowed a brief visit inside the hallowed walls of Tower Park to talk to the stadium staffing manager and secure Sedgwick a job picking up garbage in the stands after matches. It’s not what I wanted for him, but it was all they had available. When I told him the news, he did what he’s been doing since the second I stepped on him in that phone box. He surprised me.

  Sedgwick immediately sits down on the hotel bed, blinking and absorbing what I’ve just told him. He props his elbows on his knees and holds his head in his hands for several long, nerve-wracking minutes.

  “I know it’s not ideal, Sedg, but they say the best way to find a job is to have a job,” I stammer. “And well, this is a job. I know you don’t care for football, but the pay isn’t bad. There’s a hostel nearby you can stay at until you get some money saved. Though, I’d really appreciate it if you’d let me pay a deposit on a flat for you. It’s something I really want to do.”

  My words are stopped short by a garbled cry. “I don’t deserve this.”

  “It’s an honest job. Of course you deserve it.”

  “But there are so many others out there…” His voice trails off as he looks out the window.

  I run my hand through my hair, my brow furrowed with thought. I pin him with a serious look. “You take this job and I’ll see what I can do for the others.”

  Sedg smiles. “You’re a lot more than you seem, Tanner Harris.”

  “I could say the same thing.”

  By the time our London Eye double date with Camden and Indie comes, I’m more than ready to feast my eyes on the woman I had spread out naked on a table a few short days ago.

  Belle strolls into my flat with Indie and there’s a heaviness between us that feels…different than I expected.

  After that night at her place, I did wonder if I handled my exit appropriately. I wasn’t sure what to do. I’m not typically one to linger in a bird’s flat after an epic fuck, so once we worked out our schedule, I left.

  “Hi Tan, bye Tan,” Indie says as she makes a mad dash for Camden’s room. Christ, they’ve been apart for a few days and you’d think they were dying from separation anxiety.

  I shift my gaze to see Belle still standing firm in the entryway. Her arms are crossed over her chest and her posture is decidedly stiff. I gesture to where I’m at in the living room. “You can come in, Ryan. It’s not like you haven’t been here before.”

  She rolls her eyes and leans her back against the wall beside the door, crossing one heeled foot over her ankle. “I’m fine right here.”

  I frown and point down the hallway toward where Indie just went. “Those two could be fucking in there for all I know. You may as well come in and get comfortable.”

  “I won’t be getting comfortable at all, don’t you worry. I’m ready to get this double date over with.” The sneer on her face is unmistakable.

  “Did I miss something here?” I ask, looking around me. “Did you take your icy bitch pill before you came over here tonight just for my pleasure?”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” she snaps, standing up straight and balling her hands at her sides like someone needs to come in and hold her back.

  “Well, last time you greeted me in a saucy little nightie. Tonight it looks like you’re dressed for battle.”

  I glance down at her all-black ensemble. Black ripped jeans, black top, large black knitted sweater, and camel boots with dangerous-looking studded heels.

  “Don’t worry. There’ll be no more of that.” She spears me with a glare. “Everything is different now.”

  I smirk. “Is it because I’ve seen you naked?”

  Her eyes fly wide and she looks down the hallway. “I haven’t told Indie and I sure as fuck hope you haven’t told Camden,” she seethes.

  “Tell Cam what? That you have a sexy nightie, or what we did together as a result of that sexy nightie?” I tweak my brows lasciviously at her.

  “Both,” she snaps, completely ignoring my boyish Harris charm that always serves me well. I’m offended.

  “Why the bloody hell not? I thought we made a good team.”

  “So did I!” she exclaims.

  “Then what the fuck is the problem?” I rake my hand through my hair, grateful that I left it down tonight for moments like this that seem so frequent with Belle Ryan.

  “You’re the problem! You didn’t call, you didn’t text. I had to get the time and details from Indie for tonight. What the fuck is that about?” She props her hands on her hips like a scolding mother. She reminds me of Vi right now.

  My eyes are wide and confused. “What would you have me do?”

  “Call! Text! You just fucked me and left. A text was literally the least you could do.”

  “I thought we were keeping things casual,” I reply, feeling like I’ve entered the Twilight Zone. “You told me you preferred casual, and I know this might shock you but…I listened!”

  She growls, literally growls. “These are extenuating circumstances.”

  “I agree.”

  “Well, what are we going to do about it then?” Her shoulders heave with heavy breaths.

  “Well, I have an idea, but are you really asking? Because I’m happy to take the lead here, but you seem to have an issue letting go of control.”

  “Oh fuck off, Tanner,” she baulks and crosses her arms as she turns away from me.

  Darkness clouds my vision. Enough of this shit. I’m not letting her control me anymore. Not if i
t turns her into this owly, moody, stubborn arse. She used sexy pyjamas to gain power over me last time. Well, two can play at that game.

  She turns when she hears my approach. I don’t stop until she’s backed up all the way against the wall. Her red painted lips are begging to be kissed and I can smell the fragrant shampoo of her hair that’s hanging down loose over her shoulders. I cage her in with one hand on the wall beside her head and the other gripped firmly on her hip.

  “How about this,” I whisper in her ear and feel her tremble beneath my touch. “Tonight, after we put on this charade, I’m going to take you back to your place and I’m going to fuck you.”

  She opens her mouth to argue, but I cut her off. “Let me finish or I’ll kiss those words right off your mouth. I don’t give a shit if Indie and Cam come out.”

  She closes her mouth and swallows.

  I tilt my head and eye her entire face thoughtfully, committing each tiny freckle to memory. “Then tomorrow, I’m going to text you to see when we might be able to fuck again because, believe me when I tell you, Belle, these past few days you were all I thought about. Naked. Panting. And so fucking wet.” I pull her hip toward me and she greedily arches into my touch. “So if a call is all it takes to get you back in that position, baby, you better watch your mobile because I’m going to blow it the fuck up.”

  My lips are an inch away from hers, so I am able to taste her audible gasp at my sexy promise.

  “You think I’ll come to you just like that?”

  I half smile. “With what I have planned for ya…Yes, Belle. Yes, I think you’ll come. Just. Like. That.”

  I drop a soft kiss on her lips, and she breaks her façade completely with an amused laugh. She playfully shoves me away and I inhale deeply with a proud smile. I see something out of the corner of my eye and turn to find Indie and Cam staring at us from the hallway.

  “Oh fuck,” Belle murmurs behind me.

  I look back at her with a sheepish smile. “I should have mentioned that you can’t hide shit in my family.”

  “So you two slept together?” Indie’s cheeks blush as her and Cam sit across from us in the back of a cab.

  “Yes,” I reply.

  “So what does that mean then?” She glances between the two of us.

  “It means we had sex,” Tanner replies and I elbow him in the ribs. “But the really respectful kind.”

  Indie’s eyes roll skyward. “I know what that means, but what does it really mean?” She looks at me.

  “Nothing. It’s no different than any other Tequila Sunrise fling.” I say it in words I know she’ll understand.

  Tanner smiles proudly and drapes an arm on the back of the seat. “I’m a fling, bro. Are you proud? It’s a step up from a one-night stand.”

  Camden shakes his head and pulls a confused Indie closer to him. Using his classic Queen of England voice, he replies, “These two turtle doves are beginning their journey toward finding their truest love.”

  Indie shoves Cam. “Well, if you’re both happy, then I’m happy.”

  I exhale a deep breath as Indie frowns at the two of us as if we’re the strangest pair in the world, which is probably accurate. She’s seen nothing but fighting between Tanner and me for months. This is certainly a change of events, but I really hope she’s not idealising this into something it’s not.

  Tanner leans forward and pats Indie on the knee. “Just don’t overthink this, Indie. I’ll be good. I promise. Let’s focus on having fun tonight, all right?”

  It’s nearing eight o’clock by the time the cab drops us off in front of the London Eye. My eyes are wide and excited as I take in its grandeur and all the city lights twinkling around it. I can see why this is the perfect place to take a date.

  We queue for tickets and Camden and Tanner buy out a whole pod so we don’t have to share one with anyone else. Indie tries to argue that it’s not worth the money, but neither of them give it a second thought.

  I can feel people’s eyes on us as we file in line for the ride. They might not be recognising Camden and Tanner straight away, but they can tell they are important. They’re both so tall and muscular and striking. They look practically inhuman, like Greek gods walking amongst mortals. And with Tanner’s extensive ink and long blonde hair, he stands out even more.

  My parents must hate seeing me all over the news being romantically photographed with a tattooed footballer. I can’t believe they agreed to all of this. They have to be getting something more out of this in the end. I just don’t know what. I eye Tanner for a moment, trying to decide if he knows. He looks at me with a smile and I quickly shake the idea away.

  As we wait in line, Indie and Camden are all over each other and it makes Tanner and me look like boring arseholes by comparison. We both stare at them for a bit and then look at each other. Exhaling in unison, we come together. His hands snake around my waist; mine reach up to hold onto his arms.

  “Why are you smiling like a creep?” I ask.

  “I thought I was doing a sexy smile.”

  “If by sexy you mean the kind of smile my Uncle Morty gives me then, by all means, continue.”

  His face falls, but he shakes it off and smiles again. “I’m just thinking about all the naughty things I’m going to do to you tonight.”

  My brows lift. “Do tell.”

  “I think I’d rather keep you in suspense.”

  He leans down and drops a kiss on my lips as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. It’s both surprising and pleasing.

  “How was that?” he asks with a wink.

  I frown. “How was what?”

  He leans down to whisper in my ear. “There’s a photographer at ten o’clock.”

  I feel my giddiness plummet. I want to pull away, but I know I need to stop being such a moping martyr. Instead, I decide to raise the stakes.

  I reach up and pull him down to my lips and moan in satisfaction when I get a hold of his lower lip. I feel him chuckle against my mouth and then his tongue dives in, taking a commanding sweep of me. He pulls back and murmurs, “Trying to steal a sneak peek of what my tongue will be doing to you later?”

  I smirk. “Oh God, I hope that’s a promise, Harris.”

  “You know it is, Ryan.”

  I’m smiling happily as I turn around in his arms to move down the line. He continues holding me from behind as we approach the pod. When I see that the pods don’t stop for us to board, I suddenly get nervous. I stop midstride and Tanner clobbers into me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It doesn’t stop,” I answer, fear prickling my scalp. “I don’t think I can do this. I’m scared of heights.”

  “Scared of heights? Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I didn’t know the bloody things don’t stop for us to board! I thought I’d be okay!” This is so not the Tequila Sunrise moment I thought it would be.

  He rakes a hand through his hair. “We’ve been in line ages.”

  “I’m sorry, all right. Just go without me.” I try to shoo him away.

  He scowls. “Don’t be stupid.”

  “Don’t be yourself!”

  His nostrils flare at my snipe, but I don’t care.

  “Fucking hell, come here.” He reaches his hand out toward me.

  “No!”

  “Just…trust me, all right? Come here.”

  His demand is firm but sincere, so I take his hand. We’re ushered up to the pod while Indie and Cam are still too busy smiling like loons at each other to even notice that I’m in the middle of a full-blown panic attack.

  “I don’t know what your plan is, but I’m not going on that thing.” My body is stiff as a board.

  “Just keep quiet and trust me, woman,” he growls.

  “I don’t think I like your tone.”

  “That’s funny. I don’t think I ever like your tone.”

  “You know, Tanner, this tone only comes out around you. In everyday life, I’m lovely.”

  I turn to see th
e pod coming closer when Tanner suddenly bends over and scoops me up like a baby.

  “Don’t you dare!” I pound a fist on his chest. “You’re going to hurt yourself!”

  “I’m going to hurt you if you don’t shut up.” He walks with purpose onto the pod, carrying me in his arms as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. He sets me down just as quickly as he picked me up, and I’m shocked to see I made it on safely.

  The pod is bigger than I expected, like the size of a small bedroom. It’s a big round glass ball with a long bench down the middle.

  I beam up at him. “I didn’t die.”

  He fights a losing battle with his scowl. “You didn’t die.”

  “You just hefted me in here like it was your job.”

  He rolls his eyes. “You’re pretty much my only job for the next few weeks, so I figured it was up to me to make sure you’ve seen London properly while you have me.”

  I smile and stare at him for a moment. “Thank you.”

  His brow flashes into a frown. “It was nothing.”

  “Belle, look!” Indie says, tearing my gaze away from Tanner.

  I look around to see us slowly rising up over the River Thames, the city lights casting a golden glow on all of us with slices of shadows moving over us from the pods above us as we climb. It’s stunning. I slowly make my way to the edge and grab the railing, feeling a little unsteady but getting more comfortable with every passing second. I stare out at the city and marvel over how incredible London truly is from up above like this. Warm arms wrap around me, encasing me against the railing.

  “You like it?” Tanner whispers in my ear, resting his head on my shoulder.

  I nod. “I love it. Can we ride it twice?”

  I feel his chest shake with laughter. “We’ll come back another time.”

  I frown at the empty promise, but let it go because I don’t want anything to ruin this experience.

  “Is it this pretty during the day?”

  He nods. “It’s a different pretty. You can see farther out if it’s not too overcast, so you get a sense of the grandness of London. At night, though, you get a sense of the magic of London.”