The Cupid War

by Carter, Timothy

  “We shower it with Love,” Caleb told him. “That is what I did to the Suicide attacking you. You fire your Love like a spray all around it, neutralizing it.”

  “Neutralizing it,” Fallon said. “Is that just a pretty way of saying we kill them?”

  “They are already dead, Fallon,” Caleb said, “just like us. And our power can render them helpless, just as the Suicide rendered you helpless.”

  “Oh,” said Fallon. “So we just knock them out cold?”

  “Enough Love,” Caleb said, “will destroy their bodies, leaving only their souls behind. A Soul Reaper will then collect them and take them away.”

  “Is that what would have happened to me?” Fallon asked. “When that Suicide attacked me outside my house?”

  “Not exactly,” Caleb said. “Your body would have been destroyed, yes, but then your soul would have taken on the Suicide’s aspect. You would have become one of them.”

  “Yikes,” Fallon said.

  “Ah,” Caleb said, pointing. “He’s leaving.”

  The man stood up and headed for the closest exit at the front of the theater. Fallon followed, but Caleb held him back at the exit door.

  “Wait a moment,” he said. “Then we’ll follow. We’ll have our best chance of catching the Suicide if we conceal our presence from it until the last possible second.”

  A moment or two later, they hurried through the door and found themselves on the top floor of a parking garage. The lot was roughly three-quarters full with cars, trucks, and SUVs—plenty of places for the Suicide to hide. Caleb crouched down inside the nearest car, then pulled Fallon in with him.

  “Do you see it?” Caleb asked.

  “No,” said Fallon. “You?”

  “Yes.”

  “What?” Fallon turned to his mentor. “Where?”

  “Quiet,” Caleb said. “We don’t want it to know we are here. Watch that man. Look around him, and you’ll see it.”

  Fallon looked hard, his eyes fixed on the depressed man as he unlocked the door of a maroon Honda. There didn’t seem to be anything following him …

  “I see it,” Fallon said. “It’s in the back of his car!”

  “Very good,” Caleb said. “Follow me. Quickly.”

  Caleb took off like a shot, and caught up to the man’s Honda as he was pulling out of his parking space. Fallon lagged a meter or so behind and watched as Caleb fired a full burst of Love into the Honda’s back seat.

  The Suicide flew out the other side of the car and tumbled along the pavement. You’re in for it now, Fallon mused as he got his first good look at a Suicide.

  It was a person in a uniform, like him. It wasn’t the same pink costume—the Suicide’s one-piece outfit was a dark blue robe. As it stood back up, a shadowlike afterimage followed its movements. It turned to face Fallon; a gray hood hid its face, but Fallon could tell it was staring at him.

  “You again,” it said. There was no hint, in its voice or appearance, what gender it was.

  I nearly became one of those, Fallon thought. And then the words it had spoken sank in.

  “What?” he said.

  The Suicide leapt at him, but a blast of Love from Caleb’s fingertips knocked it down.

  “Never hesitate,” Caleb said as he strode over to the Suicide and fired again. “They will take advantage of any opening.”

  “It knew me,” Fallon said, watching as the Suicide crumbled under Caleb’s onslaught.

  “It’s probably the same one that attacked you earlier today,” Caleb said. “Possibly even the one who infected you during your life.”

  The Suicide disintegrated completely, and a dim gray blob of light rose up from the dust.

  “Is that … ?”

  “ … its soul? Yes,” Caleb said.

  Fallon stared at the Suicide’s soul, fascinated. He’d only caught a reflection of himself in this state. So this was the eternal part of every human being?

  “It’s kinda ugly,” he said at last.

  “You’re not so hot yourself, jerkoff!” the Suicide replied, and Fallon jumped back. He’d forgotten souls could do that.

  “It appears less attractive because of the harm it has caused,” Caleb said.

  “A karma thing?” Fallon asked, and Caleb nodded. “So, what do we do now? Do we go find a Soul Reaper?”

  “One will be along soon,” Caleb replied.

  “How long do they usually … ” Fallon asked.

  “Move it,” said Bud, elbowing him aside.

  “That was quick,” Caleb said.

  “Yeah, well, I was in the area.” Bud walked over to the soul. “You,” he pointed at it. “Let’s go.”

  “Charming as ever,” Fallon said, watching as the Suicide’s soul moved toward Bud the same way that he had done when he’d died.

  “So.” Bud turned to Fallon. “First day on the job and you’ve bagged yourself a Suicide. You probably think that’ll earn you brownie points, right?”

  “Not really,” Fallon replied.

  “Good,” Bud replied, and he elbowed his way past Fallon again. “Don’t expect any. Ever.” With that, Bud and the soul vanished into the ether.

  “I violently dislike him,” Fallon said, making a rude gesture at the spot where Bud had been.

  “Don’t think on it too much,” Caleb told him. “Soul Reapers tend to be abrupt.”

  “Is there anyone nice on the other side?” Fallon asked.

  “There’s me,” Caleb told him. “I’m pretty nice.”

  “Yeah, you’re decent,” Fallon conceded.

  “If Louis were here,” Caleb said, “he’d tell us to stop patting ourselves on the back and get to work.”

  “I’d just bet he would.”

  “But Louis isn’t here,” Caleb said. “What say we go catch a real man’s movie?”

  “Sounds good to me,” Fallon said.

  “You’re going to do all right, Fallon,” Caleb said as they walked back toward the mall. “I’m sure you’ll make a fine Cupid.”

  “I hope so,” Fallon replied. “I mean, what else am I going to do, right?”

  “That’s the spirit!”

  They walked back through the exit door into the cinema and searched for a movie worth watching. As they did so, Fallon had a chance to reflect on the unusual turn his life—or rather, his death—had taken. He didn’t like being forced into anything, but if he was completely honest with himself, he hadn’t exactly loved the life he’d been leading before. He’d planned to graduate and go to college, but that was as far as he’d gotten. All he’d wanted from higher education was the chance to get away from his old life.

  Here, in the afterlife, he had a chance to start over and do something truly great. He had it in his power to bring happiness to the world. All he had to do was learn how.

  He also had the chance to fight off the forces that had led to his death. He could literally save lives. If he stopped only one more Suicide, the world would be the better for it.

  What in the world could be better than that?

  pARt 2

  9

  Two weeks later, Fallon wasn’t an expert Cupid but he was certainly more than competent. Under Caleb’s careful monitoring, and thanks to his interest in poetry, Fallon had successfully put a couple together at a downtown Toronto pub during a spoken-word event. It wasn’t a lot, but Caleb assured him it was more than most Cupids managed in that short time.

  “Most new Cupids only manage to make one half of a couple fall in love,” Caleb explained as they returned to the Cupid Center. “And then, the object of that person’s affection leaves the area and is never seen again. Most new Cupids are rash that way, and end up with dozens of unrequited loves before they learn their chops. You, on the other hand, waited until you
were sure your couple had a chance.”

  “Wasn’t so hard,” Fallon replied. “I mean, I checked both their hearts first … ”

  “Exactly!” Caleb said. “I am proud of you, Fallon.”

  His new body didn’t blush, so Fallon simply nodded and said, “Thanks.”

  “Check up with them often,” Caleb told him, “and see how their relationship develops. If you are lucky, and diligent, you might keep them going for a year or more.”

  “Only a year?”

  “Well, they were very young,” Caleb replied. “And youth is fickle. But you never know. Theirs might be true love. Wait and see.”

  They walked and chatted for half an hour as they made their way down the Love rows. Fallon seemed to know where he was going; Caleb had told him all Cupids could find their Love instinctively. He stopped in front of a small Love cube and knew right away that it was his.

  “This is mine,” he said, kneeling before the cube. It was no bigger than a lunchbox and looked like a clump of red snow, but to Fallon it was a trophy.

  “Indeed it is,” Caleb said. “Feast, my friend. You’ve earned it.”

  Fallon was way ahead of him. The taste was the same, only better. Somehow, the fact that it was his Love made it juicier, sweeter, and more satisfying.

  “That better be your own this time.”

  Halfway through his second mouthful, Fallon turned to see who’d spoken. Then he groaned inwardly. It was Owen, the guy he’d stolen from after his Suicide attack.

  Standing beside Owen, however, was a dark-skinned young woman. She had short hair and an athletic build, and Fallon guessed she was in the same age group as Owen and himself.

  “Jada!” Caleb said, spreading his arms to embrace her. “How is my brightest student?”

  “Just fine, Caleb,” she replied, accepting the embrace. “Not too tight, now, you’ll make Owen jealous.”

  Owen shot her a look but said nothing.

  “Jada, this is Fallon,” Caleb said, gesturing to him. “Fallon, this is … ”

  “Your brightest student,” Fallon finished for him.

  “Don’t take it personally,” Jada said, offering her hand for a shake. “Caleb says that to all his students.”

  “Gotcha,” Fallon said, and then he remembered something. “Wait a minute—Jada? Owen’s girlfriend? From the car crash?”

  “Fallon … ” Caleb said, and Owen glared daggers.

  “That would be me, yeah,” said Jada.

  “Sorry,” Fallon said. “That was a bit tactless, wasn’t it? I just remembered Caleb telling me about it and … ”

  “Caleb!” Owen said. “Are you telling everyone now?”

  “He would have found out sooner or later,” Caleb said, but he had the good grace to look sheepish.

  “It’s okay,” Jada said with a shrug. “We’re all dead here, and we all have our stories.”

  “What’s yours?” Owen asked Fallon, and it was his turn to look sheepish.

  “I, uh … tripped and fell off a bridge,” he replied.

  “Kinda clutzy, doncha think?” Owen said with a smirk.

  “At least I wasn’t drunk,” Fallon shot back, and Owen’s smirk became a sneer. Bull’s-eye, Fallon thought, but he had no time to enjoy it; an electrical bolt made both of them jump.

  “Havin’ a little party here, are we?” Louis asked as he walked up to them. “Puttin’ our feet up, takin’ it easy?”

  “No sir,” Owen said, his body suddenly ramrod straight. “We … ”

  “You people got work,” Louis said. “Socialize on your own time.”

  “When is that, exactly?” Jada asked.

  Good question, Fallon thought. Cupids didn’t need to sleep, and didn’t get tired unless they were seriously low on Love. Nevertheless, some time off was needed, if only for the sake of morale.

  “Time off comes when our karmic debt is paid,” Owen said. “Right, sir?”

  “Good man,” Louis replied. “Get to it, people.”

  “You heard the man,” Owen said, waving at Jada. “Let’s go.”

  What a brown-noser, Fallon thought as Owen marched off.

  “Bye, Caleb,” Jada said, turning to follow Owen. “Nice to meet you, Fallon.”

  “Same here,” Fallon replied. “See you … ”

  “What’d I just say? Party’s over,” Louis said. “That means you—”

  “You must have heard the good news, Louis,” Caleb interrupted cheerfully. “Fallon has done extremely well for—”

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m putting him in the field,” Louis said. “I got someone new for you to train. I’ll bring him to ya later. Ricky, come with me.”

  “The name’s Fallon.”

  “You’re lucky I don’t call you dirtbag!” Louis said.

  “Louis, with all due respect, Fallon still needs another week’s training,” Caleb said. “All new Cupids get at least twenty days before … ”

  “Is everybody having hearing problems today?” Louis snapped. “You’re reassigned, Caleb. So’s he. End of story. Let’s go, dirtbag.” And he stomped off in the direction of the portals.

  Caleb nodded reluctantly. “Good luck, Fallon. Come and find me if you need anything.”

  “Thanks, Caleb,” Fallon said, then rushed to keep up with the boss. “So where am I going?” he asked, matching Louis’s stride.

  “A high school,” Louis replied. “That’ll be your entire zone. I’ve got another couple of Cupids working the area around it. Your job will be the school, the kids, and the teachers.”

  “Okay,” Fallon said. “But what if I need to leave the zone?”

  “You won’t.”

  “But if I need to follow a kid home, or to his job … ”

  “You just don’t know how to listen, do ya?” Louis said. “Your zone is the school. Everywhere else is someone else’s responsibility. Got it?”

  “Yes, sir,” Fallon replied, offering a mock salute.

  The electric blast hit him in the chest and knocked him off his feet. Two Cupids had to leap out of his way. One of them wasn’t fast enough.

  “Oof!” cried a middle-aged woman as Fallon slammed into her. They both went down, then she shoved Fallon off her.

  “It’s called respect,” Louis said while the woman got back up. “Guess you’ve forgotten who’s in charge here.”

  “I hadn’t forgotten,” Fallon said, swallowing his anger.

  “Gonna say you’re sorry to the lady ya hit?” It wasn’t a question, or even a suggestion.

  “I’m sorry,” Fallon said to the woman. She nodded, then looked back at Louis.

  She’s afraid of him, Fallon realized. He looked around and saw every Cupid in the area desperately trying to mind his or her own business. They’re all so damn afraid of him, Fallon thought. And there’s nothing we can do about it. No union to report him to, no human resources to file a grievance with. Hell, they couldn’t even quit.

  “Let’s go, kid,” Louis said, and he turned and stomped off again.

  Ten minutes later, they stepped through a portal onto the front lawn of a large high school. It was a modern-looking building, two floors high and two blocks wide. And it was green.

  “Here ya are,” Louis said, indicating the school. “Guildwood Mills High School. You stay inside those walls and do your work. Got it?”

  “Absolutely,” Fallon said, but Louis was already walking away. He held up a hand as he approached the sidewalk, opened a portal, and stepped through.

  Fallon watched him go, then made a rude gesture at his back. It wasn’t much, but it made him feel a tiny bit better. With that, he turned and headed into the school.

  Inside, it was a high school. They were all the same to Fallon. He walked through a wide main hall fi
lled with students eating their lunches in little groups. Straight ahead through the double doors would be an auditorium, and the main office would likely be located down the hall on the right. Fallon went left, and ended up in a hallway lined with lockers and classrooms. He knew he would find more of the same upstairs—lockers and classrooms and probably the library.

  It was a typical, ordinary high school. And he was stuck there for God (or Louis) knew how long.

  “At least it can’t get worse,” Fallon said, then smacked his head. He couldn’t believe he’d just jinxed himself like that! He spun around, fully expecting to see Becky walking toward him. Highly unlikely, but just his luck, to be stuck in a school with the girl he loved. He’d probably have to make her fall for someone else. What torture that would be.

  However, Becky was not walking toward him. Fate had chosen to be merciful. Fallon sighed, shook his head, and turned to continue down the hall.

  And there she was, slumped against a locker, staring off into space. But it wasn’t Becky. It was worse.

  It was Susan Sides.

  10

  Fallon stood in the hallway of Guildwood Mills High School staring at the person who had almost driven him to suicide. She was sitting with her back against her locker door, unaware of his presence. For that, Fallon was extremely grateful.

  As he watched her, the memories came flooding back. He remembered everything he’d given up so that he could be her friend; all the people he’d hung out with, all the good times he could have had. He’d lost Becky, and finally he’d lost his life.

  And now, here she was. Fallon hoped she was just visiting, but he hadn’t been having that kind of luck lately. He wanted to grab her, tell her to get the hell out of the school. The fact that he could not only made him more frustrated.

  Fallon suddenly noticed she was looking at him. He took an involuntary step back. Could she see him? She frowned slightly, then turned away again. She hadn’t seen him. He hoped.

  As Fallon turned to leave, he saw a boy approaching from one of the classrooms, carrying an armload of books. When he saw Susan, his pace slowed noticeably.

  “Oh hi, Ryan!” Susan said. “You’re running a little late.”