His dad had stared out the window and started talking about his wife in the present tense, as if she hadn’t been gone for years. Then he’d turned his attention to Hayes and told him when he grew up, he should find someone to love and settle down and have babies to continue on at Pebblebrook. He went on and on about finding the love of his life, how he almost let her go once but came to his senses and put his pride aside.
Hayes knew all about how his parents had almost lost each other because of his father’s pride. His mother had often reminded him in a joking manner.
Now that he was home, all he wanted to do was ride. He needed to talk to Colt, though. The engineer had been out early this morning and his survey had ended up on Hayes’s property. Hell no. The dude ranch would come to fruition without infringing on his area. That was nonnegotiable.
He pulled up next to the stable and didn’t see Colt, but that didn’t mean anything. After several minutes of searching, Hayes gave up and started walking toward Colt’s house. Finally, he found him in his study on the second floor behind a closed door.
“You hiding from the world?” Hayes asked, closing the door at his back.
Colt didn’t even look up from the computer. “I’m working on this absurd marketing plan. I had it hired out and the damn thing came back looking like an amateur organized it. Annabelle gave me some ideas to fix it, but I’m actually looking for another firm. I don’t want this messed up.”
Hayes crossed the spacious room and took a seat in one of the leather club chairs across from his brother’s desk. “I just came back from seeing Dad.”
That got Colt’s attention. “I was there yesterday. How was he today?”
Shaking his head, Hayes pulled off his hat and propped it on his knee. “He called me Nolan, referred to that time Nolan brought home a Mother’s Day picture he’d made in kindergarten, then he fell into talking about Mom.”
Colt eased back in his seat and sighed. “At least he’s in a good mood when talking about Mom. I’ll take that over the rage any day.”
Hayes hadn’t experienced those days with his father, but he’d heard that sometimes his father demanded to see his home, demanded someone take him to Pebblebrook. On those occasions, he still wasn’t in his right mind. He was confused about where he was and why he wasn’t home. Every day brought a different challenge.
“That’s not why I came,” Hayes stated. “I had a visit from the engineer. He mentioned expanding onto my property.”
Colt eased forward, resting his forearms on the desk. “I never okayed that.”
“Then why was he there?”
Colt shook his head. “He mentioned it to me in the beginning stages. He said there might be more revenue if we spread out over the land.”
“And that was while I was away?” Hayes asked.
“Yeah. But Nolan and I had the area where we wanted the cabins marked off on the map.” Colt narrowed his gaze. “What did he say to you? Because I’d hate to have to find another engineer this late in the game.”
Hayes blew out a breath. “He was nosing more than anything, trying to get a feel from me what I thought. He left knowing exactly where I stand on outsiders on my part of the property.”
The engineer wasn’t the only reason Hayes was in a pissy mood. He was so damn confused about Alexa.
Tonight was the awards ceremony, which he hadn’t mentioned to his family. He honestly didn’t want this to be a big deal. If they found out later, fine. But if they knew now, they’d blow it all up and insist on attending.
He’d invited Alexa because he wanted to be with someone without feeling the pressure of being someone he wasn’t. He wanted a friend.
But she was more than that, wasn’t she? She was so much more and there was no denying he was in deep with her, which ultimately was going to put him in deep with Mason.
Damn it. That little boy was so sweet, so precious. He looked like Alexa and was so loving and free with his affection. When Hayes had been holding him... Even now just thinking about that weight in his arms had Hayes pausing, his heart tightening in fear...and affection.
Colt tipped his head. “Everything else okay?” he asked.
“Getting there.” Hayes didn’t know that he’d ever be the man he was before leaving, but he was slowly making steps to improve himself little by little. Alexa definitely had a hand in his recovery. “I need to head out.”
Hayes came to his feet and slapped his hat back on his head. He had to get back to dress for the ceremony and leave with enough time to pick up Alexa and head to the governor’s mansion, which was nearly two hours away.
“You know we’re all here for you.”
Hayes stilled in the doorway at Colt’s words. He threw a glance over his shoulder. “Yeah. I know.”
The look Colt gave him was that same one he’d had when Hayes had first returned. Pity. When would they stop? When would they start acting like he wasn’t going to shatter?
Hayes headed back to his house. He had a date tonight. He hadn’t spoken to Alexa since she’d left the ranch, but he knew she wouldn’t go back on their date. Besides, he also knew she’d chosen a dress; she’d sent the others back. He’d paid for delivery of jewelry and shoes, too. Hopefully she’d found what she needed. He knew she’d be stunning in anything, but he wanted her to feel special.
There was too much going on in his mind for him to decipher the newfound emotions, but he didn’t have time to figure them out. He wanted to get to Alexa and get this night over with.
As he pulled up to his house, he knew he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t going to try to seduce her. He meant it when he said he wanted her still. Relationships weren’t for him, but Alexa was the one bright spot in his life right now and he was damn well going to hold on to her...which meant he better wrap his mind around the fact he’d have to man up for Mason.
Hayes wasn’t about to enter a child’s life and not be anything less than stable.
* * *
Maybe she should’ve kept the classic black dress.
Alexa turned side to side in front of her floor-length mirror. The red dress draped over her shoulders and hugged her every curve...maybe a little too well. Something about the trumpet-style skirt and fitted bodice had made her feel sexy when she’d been trying on the host of dresses Hayes had sent.
But now that it was go time, she wondered if she should’ve ignored the sexy and kept the black with a modest scoop neck.
What did one wear to a governor’s mansion?
Alexa smoothed a hand down her abdomen, hoping to rid herself of some of those nerves. Sadie had offered to take Mason for the night. All Alexa had to say was that she had a date and Sadie jumped at the opportunity to quiz Alexa. She didn’t give in. What she and Hayes shared was... Honestly, she wasn’t even sure, so how was she supposed to tell anyone else?
Just as she fastened the bracelet around her wrist, her doorbell rang. In that instant, her heart sped up and the chaos of jumbled nerves returned.
She headed toward the door figuring if she was nervous, she couldn’t imagine what Hayes was feeling. The man didn’t want to leave his ranch, let alone go to some fancy ceremony where he was going to be awarded for something he felt guilty about.
Alexa wasn’t sure what had happened overseas, but those events had changed Hayes forever.
Pulling in a shaky breath, she opened her door...and was greeted with the sexiest man she’d ever seen. He’d forgone the cowboy hat and boots, the well-worn jeans and T-shirt. He stood before her wearing his uniform. The black single-breasted jacket stretched across his broad shoulders. Various pins and patches adorned the shoulders and chest. The offset beret seemed to draw even more attention to those black eyes.
The man flawlessly slid from hardworking rancher to hero in uniform.
Alexa shivered at the way he raked his eyes over her. Slowly, inch by inch, as if
assessing what she wore beneath. Arousal curled through her, as she knew it would. She hadn’t seen him in days and just being near him put her body on high alert. She hadn’t mentally prepared herself for the uniform, though.
“We’re ditching the ceremony,” he growled as he stepped over the threshold. He slid his arms around her waist and aligned his body with hers. “Damn, Alexa.”
She held on to his biceps to keep her balance. “We can’t ditch. I’m pretty sure there’s some unwritten law about snubbing the governor, especially considering you’re the guest of honor.”
“You smell so damn good,” he murmured against her ear.
Alexa shivered against him and was having a difficult time recalling why they couldn’t just stay here.
Oh, yeah. The award and the fact she’d promised herself not to get more deeply involved. Because if she took things further, then she’d have to tell him who her husband was. And because she was still unsure about bringing a man into Mason’s life. She didn’t want to confuse her son. She made continual efforts to make sure his life was secure.
“We’re going to be late if we don’t go.”
Hayes eased back. “You’re the perfect reason to be late and they’d all understand once they saw you in this dress.”
Apparently she’d kept the right one.
“Thanks for this,” she told him, stepping back and removing herself from his arms. She couldn’t think when he touched her. “I would’ve gotten my own dress, though.”
“I wanted to buy this for you.”
“And the jewelry and shoes?” she questioned. “I thought I was just borrowing these things.”
“They’re yours,” he replied, tugging at the cuffs of his jacket. “You could’ve kept everything I sent.”
Alexa laughed. “There were nearly thirty dresses to choose from.”
He stared back as if he didn’t see the problem. First of all, what would a single mom and preschool teacher do with that many formal dresses? Second, she couldn’t even imagine the cost. This dress alone was probably one paycheck. She’d seen the label and that wasn’t even adding in the cost of her accessories.
Yeah, definitely nothing she could wear to the playground with Mason.
“Thanks for not backing out,” he told her, all joking and flirting set aside.
“I wouldn’t do that to you.”
Hayes nodded and held her attention with those serious black eyes. “I know you wouldn’t. You should have, but you didn’t. Let’s just put all our issues aside and enjoy our night together.”
She opened her mouth, but he held up a hand. “I know it’s selfish,” he went on. “If you want to talk, I’ll listen, but after the ceremony.”
Alexa stepped forward and framed his clean-shaven face. “I know this is difficult for you, but you are deserving.”
He started to turn his face away, but she pulled him back. “You are.”
A corner of his mouth kicked up. “Are you wearing underwear?”
Alexa smacked his chest, getting a palm-full of medals. “We better go.”
“It would help distract me from the award I don’t want if you just tell me what you’re wearing underneath.” He snaked a hand out and ran it over her backside. Letting out a groan, he muttered, “A thong. You’re killing me.”
Alexa shifted away from him, knowing full well if they didn’t get out that door, they’d be in her bedroom...if they even made it that far.
“Now that you have something else to concentrate on, let’s go.” She grabbed her clutch and placed her keys and phone inside before closing the gold clasp. “I hope they have chocolate cake at this dinner.”
Hayes held the door open for her and swatted her on the butt. “Dessert isn’t happening at the ceremony.”
Shivers raced through her as she came to the realization that they would end up back here. And the realization that he was going to keep coming around and she was going to let him.
She was going to have to tell him the truth about Scott and then he’d have to trust that she never purposely betrayed him.
But not tonight.
Tonight was about him getting a prestigious award whether he wanted to accept it or not. Tomorrow, she would tell him everything.
Tomorrow, she would explain how she’d fallen for him and see if this could be more than just a friendship with intimacy.
For the first time in two years, Alexa was ready to move on and cling to the happiness she’d discovered. If only her lie by omission didn’t stand in the way... If only Hayes wanted a family, because she and Mason were a team.
Fifteen
The handshaking, fake smiles, impromptu speech and that damn shiny award with his name engraved on the gold plate were all sickening.
Hayes drove back toward Alexa’s home. It was close to midnight according to the glow from the dash clock. Alexa had slipped her shoes off onto the floorboard of his sporty car. He’d opted for something nicer than his truck, mostly for Alexa because he didn’t give a damn what anyone else thought of him.
She hadn’t said a word since they left. It was almost as if she knew he needed to be alone inside his mind. That was what was so great about her. She just knew what he needed.
“Seven of my best friends were killed that day.” He wound through the streets leading to her town house. He didn’t even realize he’d started speaking, but now that he’d started, he found he didn’t want to stop. “We were sent in to rescue three women and eighteen girls at a school that had been overtaken. We had a solid plan, but nothing is foolproof.”
Alexa reached across, sliding her hand over his on the console. Silence settled between them, but her act of compassion spoke volumes. Damn it. She was getting to him. He’d known she was, had known the more he was with her the more likely he was to want more of her.
“I’ll spare you the details, but there was an ambush,” he added, trying in vain to block the images that played like a horror movie inside his head. “The women and girls were saved, I was spared, but...”
“I won’t tell you not to have survivor’s guilt.” Her soft words filled the cramped area. “That’s human nature to wonder what if. I went through it. I’m still going through it. I wonder what would’ve happened had we known about my husband’s condition. Could we have prevented his death? But I can’t get stuck in that mind-set, mostly because of Mason. He deserves to have his mother at one hundred percent.”
“Mason is a lucky boy,” Hayes stated. “I’m sure he’ll know how loved he is.”
Alexa sighed. “That’s my hope. But you’re doing remarkably well, considering. You only tensed a few times tonight being with all those people.”
He turned his hand over, lacing his fingers with hers. “Figures you’d notice.”
“I know you,” she said simply.
Wasn’t that the truth. After such a short time, she’d honed right in on what made him tick, what his fears were, how to handle them. He hadn’t wanted to show any vulnerability, but Alexa never made him feel as if he had. She made him feel...human. Like everything he was going through was okay and he’d make it.
“I just pictured your underwear.”
Her laughter warmed him, taking him to that place that was so perfect, so right. He hadn’t thought such a place existed after he’d come home, but since meeting Alexa, he’d discovered maybe there was a bright spot in the world. Maybe that was the one thing he shouldn’t fear.
“I could tell when you’d look at me across the room,” she told him. “I knew exactly what you were thinking.”
“Good. Because I’m about to show you exactly what was running through my mind.”
He pulled into her drive and barely got the car in park before he reached across and cupped the back of her head, bringing her mouth to his.
Finally. He hadn’t kissed her all evening, hadn’t touched her
in the way he’d wanted to. In short, he’d been on his best behavior.
Now, he was about to be on his worst. He reached for the zipper on the back of the dress. “How the hell did you get into this thing?” he growled against her lips.
Alexa laughed, her eyes shining bright as she stared back at him. “Side zipper, but we better get inside before my neighbors see us making out like teenagers.”
“Your neighbors’ lights are off.”
Alexa tugged on the door handle. “I’m not taking the chance.”
Hayes followed her inside. They barely made it in the door before he backed her up against it, flicked the lock and caged her head between his forearms.
“You have three seconds to get that side zipper or I’m going to rip this dress off.”
Her hands were moving as she tossed her head back with a sultry laugh. “You paid for it.”
“Best money I’ve ever spent.”
As the dress peeled away and fell below her breasts, Hayes was on her. He couldn’t get enough and this entire evening of foreplay had nearly done him in. Watching her curves move beneath that red dress, the way her dark hair flowed around her shoulders, seeing her laugh across the room, then catch his eye. He knew he wasn’t the only one thinking of this.
Her little striptease had him jerking his uniform off, quickly ridding himself of everything so he could be skin to skin. They still hadn’t turned on lights, but he didn’t need them. There wasn’t a spot on her body he wasn’t familiar with.
He lifted her against the door, dipping his head to capture her mouth once again. Alexa’s legs locked around his waist and he wasted no time in joining their bodies. Finesse would come later—much later. Right now he had a need that had been building all night.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she arched that sweet body against his. Hayes slid a hand down the dip in her waist and over the flare of her hip, gripping her to hold her in place. She dug her heels into his backside and Hayes knew she was on the brink.
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