by Leslie Gould
Dat stayed silent, but Shani answered, “Trevor said Beth brought supper over. She’s staying with her.”
“Oh,” Lila said. She hadn’t thought about Beth and her ill ex-husband since the accident. She glanced at Dat. He shrugged and then asked, “Why is Rose getting a ride with the Englischer?”
Shani slipped her phone into her purse. “Trevor said she’s been wanting to see Lila again, before she went to rehab.”
Dat didn’t respond, but he didn’t look happy.
Shani had a concerned look on her face but didn’t say anything more about Rose. “I’m going to go get a coffee. Anyone else want one?”
Dat said he’d go with her.
Once they left, Lila patted the side of the bed and Zane sat down next to her, careful not to bump her or the fixator. “Don’t you think it would be best if you were in our house? That way it would be easier for me to see you every day. For Trudy too. For everyone, really.”
Lila agreed, resigning herself to the idea. “I can see the little house would work, but home is still my first choice.”
Zane’s face fell. She hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings.
Tears filled Lila’s eyes.
“Baby,” he said.
She leaned toward him.
“What is it?”
“Everything. My injuries.” There was no telling how bad the damage was. When she asked if she’d be able to carry a Bobbli someday, the doctor told her she should discuss that with an obstetrics doctor in a couple of months. “Having to depend on other people. I don’t want your mom to miss work.”
“She’d do anything for you,” Zane said. “You know that.”
Lila blinked back tears. She did know that.
“It will all work out,” Zane said.
A sob caught Lila off guard.
Zane put his face next to hers.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “This has affected your work. And now you have more to do on the house, if I go there.” Another sob shook her, pulling against the fixator. She took a deep breath. “Maybe I should just go to the rehab place. It’ll be easier on everyone.” Especially Dat.
“But it won’t be,” Zane said. “All of us will have to travel to see you. The one that would work best is farther away than the hospital.” He stroked her forehead. “And it will be more expensive. This way will be more economical.”
“Really?” She hadn’t thought of the money involved. “But won’t the insurance have to pay?”
Zane didn’t respond.
“What is it?”
“It’s probably not a big deal, but the guy who hit you is saying Billie veered out in front of him and pulled the buggy into the middle of the road.”
That wasn’t how she remembered it. She heard someone behind her, then felt the impact. The next thing she could recall was flying through the windshield and over the top of Billie. She couldn’t imagine she would have allowed the horse to step to the left. “Billie was doing such a good job that day. He didn’t spook once.”
“I’m guessing a deputy will ask you some questions about the accident, sometime soon. Just tell them what happened.”
She nodded. “How is Billie?” She’d been afraid to ask until now, afraid he’d died or had been put down and no one wanted to tell her.
“He’s at your place. All things considered, he’s doing pretty well. Your Dat’s concerned about his right foreleg, but there’s no verdict yet. It’s not broken, just sprained.”
Lila knew a lame horse wasn’t worth anything, but she couldn’t bear the thought of Billie being put down. Zane would be the one to make the decision though—not Dat. Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that.
She closed her eyes, feeling sick that perhaps she was in some way responsible for the accident, that she’d done that to Billie. To herself. And she guessed her medical bills could deplete the church’s mutual aid fund in no time.
Each year, Dat paid money into a fund that included Amish families from districts throughout the county to cover any accident expenses. If it did turn out to be her fault, the fund would pay for whatever damage was done to the driver’s SUV—but not for Zane’s buggy. She closed her eyes.
Why would the man say Billie pulled out in front of him if he hadn’t? Could she have forgotten what happened before the accident, due to her injuries? Or maybe because of her concussion. Or even from the trauma of everything that happened.
She must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew Rose was in the room, saying, “How is she?”
“Better.” Zane sounded groggy. Perhaps he’d dozed too. “We need to talk about her going home.”
“She’s coming home?” Rose asked.
“We’re trying to figure it out,” Zane answered.
“But Dat said she couldn’t come home.”
“We’re thinking about the little house,” Zane said. “We’ll set things up in the living room. I’ll put a toilet and sink in the half bath.”
Lila opened her eyes and nudged Zane with her elbow. She didn’t want him to say any more without knowing she was awake. “Hi, Rose,” she said, looking up at her sister.
Trevor stood against the wall. He waved his hand in greeting but didn’t say anything.
Lila shifted her gaze back to Rose. “Dat went to get coffee, but when he comes back he wants to talk with you about helping Shani take care of me.”
Rose took a step backward. “Already?” Rose shot Trevor a helpless look. He shrugged. She turned her attention back to Lila. “I thought you were going to a rehab place.”
“That was a possibility,” Lila said. “But there seems to be a consensus that closer to home is preferable for several reasons, including financial.”
Zane explained his mom would do as much of the caregiving as possible. “But she’d need help.”
Rose wrinkled her nose as Dat came back into the room with Shani, both holding cups of coffee. Without Dat saying anything, Rose took the defense. “I wanted to see Lila. I thought she was going to a rehab place, and I wouldn’t see her for a while.”
“Jah, that’s what I wanted to talk with you about,” Dat said.
“Lila told me. You want her to come home to Juneberry Lane.”
“To the house Zane built,” Dat said. “I think that would be better than our house. Don’t you think?”
Rose nodded.
“Lila wants to make sure you’re in agreement to help care for her though, either way.”
Lila sank into the bed. That wasn’t exactly what she’d wanted to know—she’d hoped Rose would care for her at home.
“I could help more with the chores,” Trevor said.
“But you won’t be around.” Shani stepped to the end of the bed. “You’ll be staying at Charlie and Eve’s, starting tomorrow night.”
Lila hadn’t heard that, and she wondered at it. Perhaps Shani was worried about Trevor spending too much time with Rose. Charlie and Eve had a lot going on with the baby, but maybe everyone felt it would be better for Trevor to stay there anyway.
“I can drive over to help with the milking,” Trevor said. “Until I find a job.”
Lila hadn’t realized he planned to stay in the area. She thought he was just passing through.
“The issue at hand is whether Rose can help care for Lila. We need to decide now, so the doctor can write the orders if, in fact, she goes to the rehab place,” Zane said.
A look of panic passed over Rose’s face but then she said, “Of course I can help. And I expected to, though not this soon. But if Shani shows me what to do, I’ll do it.”
“It’s settled, then,” Dat said. “Lila will come home tomorrow, to the new house. I’ll go find the doctor to tell him.”
Lila closed her eyes. Dat didn’t want her home. Maybe the stress of her being injured was getting to be too much for him.
The next day, Zane wheeled Lila through the front door of their house in a special tilted chair the doctor had ordered to accommodate the fixator. In front of them, on top
of the braided rug, was a single bed with a sort of adjustable backrest on it, covered with the quilt her Mamm had made. Next to it was a high table on wheels, like in the hospital, and Joel’s recliner. Zane either moved everything the night before or early that morning. But she doubted he’d started the fire that crackled in the wood stove.
“Oh, isn’t it cozy in here?” Shani entered after Lila and Zane.
A giggle almost escaped from Lila. Not only was Zane not carrying her over the threshold, but his mother was with them. And besides that, they weren’t even married. It wasn’t at all what they’d planned.
She thought of the addressed wedding invitations, probably still on her dresser. Everything had changed.
“I bet you’re tired,” Shani said, stepping to the side of the wheelchair, the bag from the hospital, filled with bedpans and warm socks, and a plastic pitcher in her hands. “Let’s get you to bed.”
Lila squinted in the dim light. The sheets were turned back over the shadow quilt. She guessed Zane had brought it down from the bedroom, but he wouldn’t have turned the bedding back like that.
She’d thought perhaps her Dat had made the fire, but there was no way he’d turned the bedding back. She doubted Rose had either.
“Who got everything ready?” Lila asked as Zane transferred her from the chair into the bed, and then tucked pillows behind her back.
“Eve,” Shani answered. “She left food too.”
“I’m not hungry,” Lila said.
“You still have to eat,” Shani answered. “Oh, and my freezer is full too, from all the women in your district dropping off bread, soups, and casseroles. They’re amazing.”
Lila’s eyes filled with tears again, this time from gratitude, as a knock fell on the door. Zane stepped toward it as Shani tucked a pillow under Lila’s knees, to take pressure off her pelvis, making the fixator stick up even more under the quilt. It looked as if a small table had been placed on top of her, under the bedding.
A draft of cold air swept into the house as Rose said, “Is she here?”
Lila turned her head toward her sister. She wasn’t removing her bonnet. It didn’t look as if she planned to stay.
“I was hoping you’d come by,” Shani said, stepping away from the bed. “I wanted to work out a schedule. Come on into the kitchen.”
As Zane sat down on the edge of the bed, another knock sounded, and then the door came open. Lila expected her Dat. Instead it was Trevor.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yep,” Zane answered, turning to Lila. “Trevor’s giving me a ride to the job site so I can get a half day in.”
She nodded. He needed to work, not just for the money but to keep his job too.
“I’ll stop by as soon as I’m home. I hooked up the toilet, but not the sink yet. I’ll work on that.” He must have bought the toilet on his way home from the hospital last night and then installed it this morning.
Lila nodded again. He took her hand and squeezed it, and then started toward the door. Rose had stepped from the kitchen and gave Trevor a smile. Lila couldn’t see how the man reacted.
Another draft of cold air swept through the room, and then the door closed.
“Rose?” Shani said.
“Coming.” Rose turned back toward the kitchen.
Lila closed her eyes. Never would she have guessed she’d spend her first day—who was she kidding? Six weeks at least—in her new house in a single bed in the living room. She wished she could curl up into a ball, but that was out of the question. She couldn’t move to her side either. All she could do was stay on her back. Instead she clutched the extra pillow to her chest. This time she didn’t stop the tears. They seeped out of her closed eyes and trickled down the sides of her face.
She woke to Rose telling Shani, “I’ll come back before you pick up Trudy and Adam.”
“Perfect,” Shani said. “Joel will bring the cot over this evening. If you can spend tonight then I’ll spend the next two.”
“All right,” Rose said. “There’s a barn raising on Saturday at Daniel and Jenny’s. The weather is supposed to be nice. I’d like to go to that—with Reuben.”
“Of course,” Shani said. “Zane will be here to help then.”
Lila closed her eyes again. She’d forgotten all about the barn raising. Daniel had been up to the hospital two days ago but hadn’t mentioned it.
She must have fallen asleep again, because the next thing she knew, Shani was waking her, asking her about her pain levels.
She must have slept for quite a while because the light in the house had faded, and she was in a lot of pain. “Pretty bad,” she said.
“I probably should have woken you earlier.” Shani had her medicine ready and a bowl of soup too. “Rose will be here any minute, and then I’ll leave to get the kids.”
Lila took the medicine and a few bites of the soup. She noticed Shani looking at her watch and said, “You should go ahead and go. I’ll be fine. I’m not going anywhere.” After a few more minutes, Shani agreed.
Lila rested again, and about ten minutes after Shani left, Rose came in the door. Her cheeks were pink, and she was out of breath. This time she took off her bonnet and cape, but she didn’t say anything about being late.
She didn’t ask how Lila was either.
“So what do I do?” she asked. “Just sit with you?”
“Sure,” Lila said, having no idea what Shani would want Rose to do. “Pull the recliner around.”
Once Rose did, Lila asked her how things were going with Reuben.
“Good,” she answered, blushing.
Maybe Reuben had been over at the house and that’s why she was late. “Is he working today?” Lila asked.
“Jah, just like every day. Dat’s at the lumberyard too. I forgot to tell you earlier that he said he’d come over this evening.”
“What have you been doing?”
Rose blushed again. “You know. The usual. Cleaning. Getting supper started. That sort of thing.”
Lila nodded. She did know. She just couldn’t figure out why Rose kept blushing.
It was a relief when Shani returned with Adam and Trudy. Lila hadn’t seen her baby sister since before the accident. It seemed that Shani had prepared her, because she didn’t seem nervous and came right up to the bed. Lila motioned for her to climb up and then told her to stretch out beside her, without bumping the fixator. She did.
Adam had a concerned look on his face, while Rose seemed restless. “You can go back to the house,” Lila said. “I bet Adam will walk Trudy home later.”
“Perfect,” Rose replied. “I need to get supper started.”
“I thought you already had,” Lila answered.
Rose blushed again. “Well, you know, I need to get it on the stove.”
Lila was tempted to press her sister more, but she didn’t have the energy. “See you tonight,” she said. For a moment she feared perhaps Rose had spent time with Trevor earlier and that’s why she was late, but surely she wouldn’t be foolish enough to do that.
Rose grabbed her bonnet and cape and headed out the door without saying another word.
7
I’ll walk you back over,” Dat said to Rose as she headed toward the mud porch. “I want to say hello to Lila on her first day back.” He hadn’t gone over when he said he would. Rose felt bad she’d told Lila that he would, but now wasn’t a good time.
She shook her head. “Trudy hates to be alone. I think she’d be frightened if you weren’t here.” She was in bed but not asleep. “I’ll be fine,” Rose said. “I’ll take a flashlight and go down the lane.”
“I wanted to see Lila today.”
Rose shrugged. “She’ll understand. Besides, she’s probably already asleep.”
Dat tugged on his beard and then said, “All right. Tell her I’ll stop by tomorrow.”
“I’ll see you in the morning.” Rose would help him with the milking, get breakfast made, and then get ready for the barn raising. A couple of years
ago, Reuben came to help with the milking every morning so Lila could take care of their grandmother after her surgery. Rose wished he’d have offered to help regularly now, while she was caring for Lila. But he hadn’t said a thing. Everyone always seemed more willing to help Lila than to help Rose.
Rose turned away from Dat, quickly put on her cape and bonnet, and then grabbed a flashlight and her bag. She called out a good-bye to Dat, which he answered, and headed out the door into the drizzly fall night.
She breathed in the acrid smell of smoke from the wood stove and hurried down the driveway, pulling the hood of her cape over her bonnet. When she reached the lane she turned left and waved the flashlight in front of her, dodging the potholes filled with rainwater as she walked. She stayed close to the edge of the lane, under the row of trees.
When she reached the cedar at the halfway point, headlights came around the curve. She stepped closer to the tree, hoping it was Trevor. It was. She returned to the lane and waved, glad their plan had worked out. They were both right on time.
The car stopped when it reached her, and the passenger window slid down a little. “How about a ride?” he asked playfully.
“Jah.” She stepped closer. “I’d appreciate it.”
He smiled as he leaned across and opened the door for her. As she climbed in, he pushed a button to make the window go up. The windshield wipers were on a low setting, mixing a rhythmic swish in with the low hum of the engine. She settled into the seat and fastened her seat belt as Trevor turned the car around in the lane.
He’d been down by the creek when she walked through the field on her way to sit with Lila. They’d had a pleasant conversation, which had made her late. That was when they made the plan to see each other now. “How was the rest of your day?” she asked.
“Good,” he answered. “I was just helping Zane with the bathroom. The toilet and sink are both in now, but there’s still quite a bit to do. Joel’s going to buy handrails, but we’ll have to put plasterboard up before they can be installed.” He slowed for a pothole. “And I got a job.” He smiled.
