by Leslie Gould
From the joy on Charlie’s face though, it looked as if he wouldn’t have a problem claiming the child as his own.
By the time dinner was over, Jenny seemed to be uncomfortable and retreated to the kitchen. Daniel asked Shani if she’d check on her.
“I’m not a maternity nurse,” Shani said.
“I know,” Daniel said. “But maybe you can give us an idea of whether we need to head to the hospital.”
“Probably not yet,” Shani said.
Reuben moved to the archway between the two rooms. Jenny leaned against the counter while her mother rubbed her back.
“Are you having contractions?” Shani asked.
“Maybe,” Jenny answered, standing up straight.
“Are you using a midwife or a doctor?”
“Doctor. My blood pressure has been high.”
“How long have you been having pains?”
“On and off since I got up this morning.”
“Let’s time them.” Shani lifted her wrist. “Tell me when the pain starts.”
A minute later, Jenny leaned against the counter again and said, “Now.”
Shani kept her eyes on her watch. “Tell me when it ends.”
Jenny nodded as her face contorted. She turned toward the counter, and Monika dried her hands on another towel and then put her hand on Jenny’s back. Finally, Jenny said, “It stopped.”
“Ninety seconds. That’s nice and strong. Let’s see how far apart they are.” Shani glanced at her watch again and then back up at Jenny. “Tell me when it starts again.”
Jenny started to smile but stopped. She definitely appeared uncomfortable.
Rose moved through the archway and bumped against Reuben, her unfinished plate of food in her hand. “Excuse me,” she said quickly. As she raised her head she asked, “What’s going on?”
“Shani’s seeing if Jenny is in labor.”
Rose sighed. “That’s all we need today.”
Reuben ignored her comment and asked, “Are you feeling better?”
“No,” Rose said, squeezing past him and into the kitchen. She scraped her plate into the scrap pail, completely ignoring both Jenny and Monika.
Jenny held up her hand. “It’s starting again.”
“Three minutes,” Shani said, searching for Daniel. He stood by the back door. “We need to get her to the hospital. Want me to drive?”
“Jah,” he said, stepping to Jenny’s side.
She was breathing heavily.
“Come on, Grandma,” Shani said to Monika. “Let’s get these kids to Lancaster General.
“I expect Gideon, Tim, and Beth want to go too.” Shani pulled her keys from the pocket of her sweater. “I have room.”
“We’ll stay and clean up,” Eve said. “Unless Rose and Trudy want to go. Then Charlie can drive them.”
Trudy clapped her hands together, but Rose appeared even more pale than she had before and shook her head.
Eve turned to Shani. “Call Charlie’s cell phone once there’s news. If it’s not too late, we can bring Trudy up then.”
Shani agreed.
“Can we stop by our place and grab my bag?” Jenny asked. “It’s already packed.”
“Of course,” Shani said. “But only because it’s on the way.”
As Shani and her crew hurried out the door, Reuben and Zane, with Adam’s help, folded up the benches and carried them out to the church wagon. Trudy played with the baby while Eve washed the dishes, Joel and Charlie dried, and Rose put everything away.
When everything was cleaned up, Lila said she was weary. Joel volunteered to take her back in his pickup, but it was decided she’d be able to more easily get into Eve and Charlie’s sedan.
“We’ll stop back by on our way home and see if you and Trudy want to go to the hospital,” Eve said.
“It could be hours before the baby is born,” Rose replied. “There’s no reason to go this soon.”
Reuben helped Zane carry Lila down the steps, and soon everyone but Trudy, Rose, and Reuben had left. “I should get going,” Reuben said.
“Jah,” Rose answered. “I need to rest.”
“Would you walk with me out to my buggy?” Reuben asked.
Rose shook her head. “I’d rather not, to be honest. I’m really not feeling well.”
“Could we talk in the living room?”
She shrugged. “For a few minutes.”
“May I go over to Lila’s?” Trudy asked.
“No,” Rose answered. “But you can go check the answering machine and see if Dat has left a message.”
Trudy pouted. “He wouldn’t have yet. They wouldn’t have been at the hospital for long.”
“Go check,” Rose said.
Trudy complied, although reluctantly.
“Sorry you couldn’t be at the hospital with everyone,” Reuben said once they were alone, sitting on opposite ends of the sofa.
“No, it’s fine.” Rose crossed her arms over her chest. “I really didn’t want to go.”
She seemed so testy and—even a little rude. What had happened to his fun-loving Rose?
“What did you want to talk about?” she asked.
“Us,” he answered.
She stood. “I don’t feel well enough to think about that.”
“Rose . . .”
She walked away.
“Rose!” he said again, following her through the kitchen to the hall. She hurried into her bedroom and slammed the door. Reuben froze, not sure what to do, but when he heard sobs coming from the room he knocked on the door.
The sobbing stopped.
“Rose?”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m really not well. Let’s talk later.”
“All right,” he said.
“And could you walk Trudy over to Lila? Ask Eve and Charlie if they can take her up to the hospital. She’ll be better off with Beth than me.”
“All right,” Reuben said again. He paused, not sure what to say next. Finally he said, “I’ll see you soon.”
When she didn’t answer, he left the house and started toward the barn.
Trudy came skipping toward him. “No message,” she called out.
“Rose wants me to walk you over to Lila’s so Eve and Charlie can give you a ride to the hospital.”
Trudy clapped her hands together.
“You should probably get a book to read though, in case it takes a while. And your cape.” There was a chill in the air that indicated the weather was changing. A cold snap was predicted, the first so far.
He waited outside. Trudy didn’t take long, holding a book in one hand and her cape in the other when she returned.
“How was Rose doing?” Reuben asked.
“She was asleep,” Trudy answered.
“Oh.”
They walked down the lane just in case Eve and Charlie would be driving back up, but they didn’t meet anyone. The bare branches of the maple trees creaked in the wind above their heads. Reuben always hated this time of year, when the world seemed bleak, between the glorious changing of the leaves and the first snow.
Charlie and Eve’s car was parked by the Becks’ house. They stopped there first and knocked on the door, but no one answered.
“Follow me,” Trudy said, leading Reuben around the side of the barn and back to the little house.
As they approached the front door, laughter practically rocked the house. Reuben was ready to knock, but Trudy went ahead and opened the door and stepped in. “Hi, everyone!” she called out.
“Trudy!” Adam yelled, rushing toward her.
Joel held the foster baby while Eve made coffee in the kitchen. Lila was back in her bed, leaning against the backrest, a smile on her face. Charlie and Zane stood face-to-face, as if they were in some sort of contest. But both now had their eyes on Reuben.
He waved and said, “Rose was hoping Eve and Charlie could take Trudy up to the hospital. Rose isn’t feeling well—she thought Trudy should be with Beth.”
Lila frowned.
Eve stepped from the kitchen. “Of course. We’d be happy to.” She glanced at Charlie. He nodded.
“Denki,” Reuben said. “See all of you later.” He waved, a little awkwardly, patted Trudy on the head, and retreated.
As he closed the door, he could hear Charlie say, “Where were we?”
“You claimed you could flip me,” Zane answered. “But that sounds a little violent and may go against my faith.”
“Ach, I don’t believe that’s true,” Charlie answered, laughing.
Reuben stepped away from the house, disturbed by how much of an outsider he’d felt. He took his hat off and ran his hand through his hair. As he headed up the field, he was tempted to go try to get Rose to talk again, but he knew it would be useless.
He was happy for Tim and Beth, for their marriage. And for Daniel and Jenny, for their baby. But he couldn’t help but feel out of sorts. His life wasn’t going as he’d planned, not at all.
15
At 6:00 a.m., on the next Monday, Lila struggled to relax on the day-surgery gurney, breathing in the crisp odor of disinfectant. She felt sick to her stomach—hopefully she wasn’t coming down with Rose’s flu—and the smells were making it worse.
Zane couldn’t take the time off work. And Dat didn’t. He would have had to find someone to do the milking, such as Reuben or Joel, but Lila knew he could have if he’d wanted to.
Instead, Shani, along with the doctor, stood by her side.
“It will take more time for the anesthesiologist to do her work than for the surgeon to remove the fixator,” Shani said.
“Or I could take it out without any anesthesia,” the doctor said. “I did that one time. You could hear the guy screaming in the next county.”
Lila politely declined, too out of sorts to try to joke.
“I’ll see you in recovery.” Shani patted her arm and then stepped away.
“And I’ll see you in surgery,” the doctor said, heading down the hall.
Everyone said her recovery from the surgery would go quickly. Lila hoped that it would, and that they could go up and see Jenny and her Bobbli afterward. Jenny had ended up with a hard labor and then a C-section, so they were still in the hospital.
Beth said the Bobbli was beautiful, that Daniel was as proud as could be, and that Jenny seemed to be recovering well. Trudy had seen the Bobbli a couple of times too, and wouldn’t stop talking about her.
As the two nurses pushed Lila down the hall, she waved at Shani. She was only awake for a couple of minutes in the operating room. The next thing she knew she was in recovery with Shani at her side.
Lila reached down to her hips. The fixator was gone. She exhaled in relief.
“How do you feel?” Shani asked.
“Pretty good,” Lila answered, sitting up straight for the first time in eight weeks. “May we go see Jenny and the Bobbli?”
Shani smiled. “Let’s see how you’re feeling in a half hour or so.”
Lila drank some juice and ate a few salty crackers, and kept both down. After a while, Shani helped her get dressed and then the nurse came in with the discharge papers.
“What do you think?” Shani asked.
“I’d really like to see Jenny—and my niece,” Lila answered.
“Let’s go get some breakfast first,” Shani said. “And see if you still feel strong enough after that.” She adjusted the back to the wheelchair and moved it into place. It was the last time Lila would use the chair.
Rose had promised to pack Lila’s things while they were at the hospital, and then help Shani load them into her van. Lila would spend the night at home for the first time since the accident. She’d sleep better in her own room with Rose and Trudy.
Once she moved out of the little house, Zane would move in. Gideon said he’d been living with electricity long enough and it was time for him to start living Plain again.
Lila did her best to eat a bowl of oatmeal in the hospital cafeteria but mostly she nursed a cup of coffee. Shani seemed satisfied with her effort and wheeled her toward the elevator. In no time they were on the maternity ward.
“Jenny’s down this way,” Shani said. Monika was in the room, and Lila guessed she’d spent the night. That didn’t surprise her, not one bit. Every girl longed to have a mother like Monika. Tears filled Lila’s eyes but she blinked them away. She had Shani—look at everything the woman had done for her the last eight weeks. And now she had Beth too.
“Look at you,” Monika said. “You finally got that contraption off.”
Lila nodded.
“She’s straight out of surgery,” Shani said, “but insisted on coming up here.”
“I have to see my niece,” Lila said. As Shani pushed her closer to the bed, she could see the little one tucked into the crook of Jenny’s arm. They’d named her Brook—which wasn’t a common name for an Amish baby, but many of the younger parents were choosing uncommon names.
“Ah, she’s beautiful,” Lila said, overcome with emotion for the little one.
Jenny smiled. “Daniel named her. Would you like to hold her?”
“Of course.” Lila held out her arms. Monika stepped closer, scooped the Bobbli up, and then handed her to Lila, who held her high, breathing in her sweet smell. Brook’s fine blond hair was fuzzy on top. The Bobbli shifted a little, frowned, and then relaxed against Lila.
“Oh, she’s wonderful.” Lila had expected to feel jealous, but she didn’t. Not at all. Maybe that would come later.
Her sister-in-law beamed.
Monika put her hand on Lila’s shoulder. “You’re recovering so well. You and Zane will soon marry, and you’ll have one of your own in no time.”
Lila tried to take a deep breath, but it turned raggedy, and then a sob escaped.
“What’s the matter?” Monika asked, her hand falling from Lila’s shoulder.
“Oh, nothing. I’m just emotional.” It wasn’t jealousy. It all just hurt so badly. She and Zane should have been adjusting to married life by now. Maybe she would have already been pregnant. The accident had taken so much from her.
“You’ve been through a lot,” Monika said.
Jenny nodded.
“I should probably go home. I may have pushed too hard today.”
Lila held onto Brook a moment longer though, taking in her sweet face. She reminded her of Trudy as a Bobbli. Their mother had still been alive, barely. She was terribly ill—dying, in fact. This Bobbli carried Lila and Daniel’s DNA, both their mother’s and their biological father’s, whoever he was.
Lila looked from the Bobbli’s face to Shani’s, and then relinquished the little girl. Shani held her for a long moment and then handed her back to Jenny.
“I’m so happy for you,” Lila said to her sister-in-law. “Really.”
“I know,” Jenny answered. “I’ll tell Daniel you stopped by. Come see us in a few days, once you’re feeling better.”
“I will,” Lila answered, embarrassed for her tears. She hoped Monika and Jenny would keep her behavior to themselves. No one would understand why she reacted the way she did. She barely understood herself.
In the car on the way home, she couldn’t stop her tears. They matched the icy, pouring rain.
Shani reached over and patted her arm. “Want to talk about it?”
“No,” Lila managed to say.
“Anything in particular or everything?”
Lila tried to smile at Shani, but another sob escaped. “Both,” she stammered.
“What is it?” Shani glanced toward her, a sympathetic look on her face. “Does it have to do with the uncertainty around your internal injuries? As far as getting pregnant and carrying a baby someday?” Shani never was one to beat around the bush.
“Probably,” Lila answered.
“When do you go to the gynecologist?”
“Friday.”
“Try not to worry until then. They’ll do an ultrasound to see how much scar tissue there is. They’ll soon have an idea.” Shani hesitated. “Ther
e’s no way to know for sure though.”
Lila nodded. Eve hadn’t had any injuries, and she still couldn’t have children.
“But even if you can’t have a baby, you know there are other ways to have a family, right? Look at Eve and Charlie.”
Lila nodded but didn’t answer. Lila expected it would be hard for an Amish young couple to qualify to foster. And Eve and Charlie were older. Eve was a teacher and Charlie an EMT. They were perfectly qualified to care for children.
If they hadn’t been able to foster Jackson, Eve still had her teaching. What would Lila have?
She didn’t say any of that to Shani though. Nor did she bring up how she feared Zane might react to not being a father someday. He’d talked about having children more than anyone she knew, more than she did. Goodness, he already had the baby’s room furnished. He longed to re-create their childhood on Juneberry Lane for their own children. How would he react if the doctor said she’d never be able to have a Bobbli?
Lila put her head back and pretended to doze the rest of the way home. She couldn’t explain how badly she wanted a child of her own. Her Mamm was gone. She didn’t know her biological father. Daniel was the person most connected to her, as far as DNA. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel connected to her other three siblings. She did. But she longed to hold a baby that she’d carried, that she and Zane made together.
When they reached Juneberry Lane, Shani said, “I have your crutches in the back. I’ll help you up the stairs.”
“We should go to the front door.” It wasn’t as steep as the back.
Shani agreed and pulled the van around. With Shani’s help Lila made it into the house, collapsing in Dat’s chair. “Rose must still be over at the little house,” Shani said. “Do you need anything before I head over?”
Lila shook her head. “Tell Rose to hurry. It’s almost time for Dat’s dinner.”
As Shani headed for the door, footsteps fell in the kitchen.
“Rose?” Lila called out.
“Oh, hello.” She stepped into the living room.
“Oh, good.” Lila craned her neck to look at her sister. “You finished packing everything already?”
Rose blushed. “No, I was just going to go do it now.” She appeared disheveled, as if she’d been resting.
