Amish Weddings

by Leslie Gould

  “Give it a try,” Tim said.

  “I thought you’d be more upset than you are. Are you not, because, you know, of what Abra went through back with Lila and Daniel?”

  Tim put both hands on the back of a chair for a moment, as if he were giving the question some thought. Then he stood up straight and said, “I’m probably more upset than I’m letting on, but Beth keeps saying things will work out, to not worry. I don’t feel so alone anymore. It’s easier to trust God, for me, when I have someone encouraging me to do so.”

  Zane nodded. That’s how being with Lila had always made him feel. Until now.

  Tim cocked his head. “How’s your job going?”

  “Fine,” Zane answered. “There’s been a delay on some permits. We ended up working this morning, which was good. But I haven’t been getting as many hours as I’d hoped.”

  “Oh? Are you looking to pick up some extra hours? I could really use help with the milking, especially once Rose goes to Eve’s.”

  “Denki,” Zane said. “I’ll help when I can.”

  Tim nodded. “I won’t be able to keep working like this forever. Daniel isn’t interested in farming, and Simon won’t be coming back. You’re the most likely one to take it over.” He smiled a little. “Especially when half the land I farm is owned by your family.”

  Zane hadn’t thought much about the logistics of the farm. Technically his grandfather owned half the property that Tim farmed. Someday his parents would. And then, after they were gone, he and Adam would inherit it. But he imagined Tim leasing it, forever.

  “I’ve always enjoyed helping you,” Zane said. “And, jah, I’d like to learn more of the business.” He couldn’t imagine the dairy would also support him and Lila. He had the idea it barely supported the Lehmans. That was why Tim worked at the lumberyard. And Tim wasn’t even fifty yet. It would be a long time until he was ready to retire.

  By then, God willing, Zane and Lila would have a houseful of children, which would mean Zane would need to have a reliable vocation to support them.

  Zane heard Lila’s crutches before he saw her. But then there she was, in the doorway to the kitchen. She wore her lavender dress and had her Kapp on, instead of the scarves she’d been wearing recently.

  “Ready?” she asked.

  Saying he was going to get back to work, Tim stepped out onto the mud porch. But then he said hello to someone.

  For a moment, Zane thought it was Reuben, but then the person spoke, and it was Mom.

  “I have a message for Lila,” she said to Tim. “Is she home?”

  “Jah,” Tim said. “She and Zane were getting ready to go for a ride.”

  “Oh, good,” Mom said. “I’m glad I caught them before they left.” She told Tim good-bye and stepped into the kitchen.

  The back door closed, but as Mom started to speak, the door opened again. Mom must not have heard it, because she said, “One of the Butch Wilsons called back. I have his number.” She extended her hand, with a note in it. “He said to call back as soon as possible.”

  Lila froze.

  “Who’s Butch Wilson?” Tim asked.

  Mom turned, slowly.

  Lila hesitated and looked at Zane.

  “That’s the name of Lila and Daniel’s birth father,” Zane answered.

  “Oh,” Tim said. He turned slowly toward Lila. “What’s this all about?”

  “I’ve wanted to find out about him. Get some information.”

  “Where did you get his name?”

  “Eve.”

  “I see.” Tim turned around and headed through the mud porch, closing the door firmly behind him. No one said anything for a long moment.

  Finally Mom said, “I’m sorry. I thought he’d left.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Lila said. “He would have found out sooner or later.”

  Mom sighed. “Do you want a ride to the house?”

  “We’ll come over in the buggy,” Lila said. “That way we can leave from there for our ride.” Zane nodded in agreement. Lila could make the phone call from the Lehmans’ barn, but that would be awkward with Tim around.

  Mom said she’d go ahead and go to the store, then. “Joel and Adam are running errands too.” Zane guessed she wanted Lila to know that she’d have privacy.

  Once they were in the buggy, they didn’t talk at first. But Zane finally asked, “What are you thinking?”

  “About how long I’ve wanted this information,” she answered. “I think the accident and everything else that’s happened has finally given me the courage to seek it.”

  Zane had a lot of other things he wanted to say to Lila but thought it best to wait until after the phone call. When they got to the house, Lila sat at the kitchen table to make the call. Zane stood in the doorway, but Lila waved him away, saying he made her self-conscious. She didn’t feel totally comfortable speaking on the phone, not the way he did. He knew that.

  He stepped into the living room, hoping he could still hear. He could make out Lila introducing herself and then saying, “I see,” a few times. Mostly she listened.

  Finally she said, “I’d like that very much.”

  After she said good-bye, Zane stepped back into the kitchen. “Well?” he asked. “What did you find out?”

  Lila looked up at him, her face tense. “The man I talked with is only eighteen, but he—and his mother—think there’s a possibility that Daniel and I could be his father’s children.”

  “What about the father? What does he think?”

  Lila exhaled. “He passed on. Two years ago. From a heart attack.”

  “I’m sorry.” Zane stepped to her side and put his hand on her shoulder.

  She squeezed his hand, and for a moment he felt a connection to her, but then she said, “I don’t feel like going for a ride. I’d rather go home and rest.”

  “All right,” he said. “But we need to talk about what the lawyer said. Sometime soon.”

  “I can’t think about that right now,” Lila said.

  “You’ll have to think about it sometime. The insurance company will start their own investigation soon. They’ll be contacting you.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Butch is going to talk with his mother and try to figure out a time when we can meet. I need to figure this stuff out first,” Lila said, looking up at him. “I’d really like to meet Butch. He could be my half brother.”

  Zane handed Lila her crutches, chewing on his lower lip as he did. None of this would make Tim happy. Honestly, it concerned him too, but he wasn’t sure exactly why. The accident had changed so much between Lila and him. For better or worse. It wasn’t what he’d been expecting. Not at all. Especially not before they were even married.

  Even though he hadn’t had the chance to make the vow in front of others and to Lila, he’d made it to himself and to God. He’d do everything he could to try to figure out how to help her.

  21

  The weather had turned icy, and the cold wind stung Rose’s cheeks as she held her cape with one hand at her neck, keeping her hood snug on her head. She carried a flashlight in her other hand as she hurried toward the barn.

  She’d waited until Lila and Trudy were asleep and she could hear Dat snoring before sneaking out. She hoped Beth was asleep too, but Christmas vacation had started, and she’d been staying up later than when she was teaching. Rose couldn’t wait any longer though. At first she’d been hesitant to call Trevor again—she wanted to give him some space to think things through. But she’d become more anxious with each day. She’d be moving to Eve and Charlie’s in two weeks. What if Trevor planned to come back to Lancaster County before then?

  She reached the barn, pushed hard against the door, and slipped inside. A cat ran in front of her and then a cow mooed, probably the heifer Dat said was in labor. Hopefully he wouldn’t come check on her anytime soon.

  She stepped into the office. The best thing would be if Trevor came back to Lancaster County. She’d never expect him to join the Amish as Zane h
ad, but maybe he’d become Mennonite or maybe Baptist. She hoped he wouldn’t expect her to learn to drive a car or anything like that. She wasn’t as courageous as Aenti Eve was—not that Charlie had expected it, as far as Rose knew. Aenti Eve had wanted to get her GED and go to college, which she did. Rose had no such aspirations. She picked up the phone, dialed, and let it ring. She counted to eight. What if he never called her back?

  It kept on ringing. Just when she expected for it to go into his voicemail, someone answered, saying, “Hello?” It wasn’t Trevor though—it was a girl.

  “Hello?” the voice said again.

  Trevor’s voice was muffled. “Give me the phone.”

  The girl cursed and then Trevor came on. “Hey,” he said. “You’re on speaker.”

  Rose didn’t respond.

  “Who is this?” the girl asked, her voice angry.

  Rose hung up the phone, feeling as if she might be sick. Did Trevor get back together with his girlfriend? She thought about what Zane had said, “Things aren’t always what they seem.” Is that what he’d meant? What did he know that he hadn’t told her?

  It was ten thirty now. Zane would be asleep, but she didn’t care. She hurried out of the office and through the barn, pulling the door tightly behind her. She’d go through the field—it would be faster. Thankfully she had the flashlight, because there was no moon, and she had to dodge the cow pies. Spreading the manure was probably on Dat’s list of things to do.

  She marched along the poplar trees, and when she reached the hedge she veered to the left around the Becks’ barn toward the little house. All the lights were out, as she expected. Zane probably slept upstairs. Maybe he wouldn’t hear her knocking on the door, and she certainly didn’t want to be loud enough to wake Shani and Joel.

  “Lila?”

  She shone her flashlight toward the voice. Zane stood in the shadows of the house, over to the left.

  “It’s me, Rose.”

  “Oh,” he said. “For a minute I thought you were Lila. What are you doing out?”

  “I need to talk with you, but I thought you’d be in bed.”

  “So you decided to come over anyway?”

  She nodded. “It’s important.”

  He sighed. “Will it take long? I was just coming home from my folks’, but I don’t think I should invite you in.”

  Her face grew warm, even in the icy cold. “No, I just need to ask you something. I tried to call Trevor tonight.”

  “Oh?”

  “A girl answered. And I doubt she’s his sister.”

  “He doesn’t have a sister,” Zane said.

  “Do you know who it might be?” she asked.

  When Zane didn’t answer, Rose said, “Tell me what you know. I need you to.”

  He nodded. “I probably should have told you earlier, but I wasn’t sure what was going on. Especially after you told him about . . .”

  “The Bobbli?”

  He nodded. “His girlfriend—”

  “Ex-girlfriend?”

  “Right.” Zane nodded. “She texted him and said she wanted to get back together. That’s one reason he decided to go back.”

  “So they’re back together?”

  “I don’t know that for sure,” Zane said. “But they could be.”

  “Why won’t he talk to me?”

  “Why do you want him to talk with you? He wouldn’t make a good husband or father.”

  She crossed her arms. “But he is the father. Wouldn’t he want to work it out?”

  “Not necessarily.”

  Rose didn’t respond. She felt disappointed. Betrayed. Rejected. Jah, her pride was hurt. But it was more than that.

  “He used you, and I’m sorry about that.”

  “I knew what I was getting into.”

  Zane shook his head. “You weren’t experienced in those things.”

  Rose’s face warmed even more. She’d felt connected to Trevor, but she hadn’t truly known him.

  “I’ll walk you home,” Zane said.

  “No, I’m fine,” she answered, choking back her tears.

  “Rose,” he said, touching her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”

  “I’m the reason Trevor came here. I overestimated his character. I didn’t protect you.”

  Rose swallowed hard. “You didn’t know. I did. I should have protected myself.” She put her hand to her stomach and then turned and hurried away.

  Zane started to follow her, so she called out, “I want to be alone.” He stopped.

  By the time she reached the field, the snow had started to fall. Big, wet snowflakes. Each different. Each unique. Her hand went to her belly again. Her Bobbli was unique—already whomever he or she was going to be.

  She wasn’t the first Amish girl to get pregnant out of wedlock. Others had, including her own Mamm. For years she thought she was better than that, sure nothing like that would ever happen to her. Now she knew just how foolish she’d really been.

  By the time she reached the house, a layer of snow had already covered the ground, transforming the night into a bright landscape. She slipped a little going up the steps but caught herself by grabbing hold of the railing. She paused to catch her breath, and then went on inside.

  She’d get through Christmas and then move to Eve’s. She’d concentrate on the Bobbli inside her, and on becoming a mother. She’d do her best to stop thinking about Trevor Anderson, because he obviously didn’t want anything more to do with her.

  On Christmas, Beth took charge of the meal. Daniel, Jenny, and Brook came over in the morning to open presents and then stayed for dinner. Beth planned the menu and did most of the cooking, telling Rose to enjoy having someone wait on her for a change.

  Dat and Daniel went out to the barn, checking on a sick calf. Rose sat in the living room with Jenny, Lila, and Trudy, but after a while she realized she’d rather be spending time with Beth and headed into the kitchen. Her stepmother had everything under control, cooking for a large family with ease. She had a ham in the oven, rolls rising on the stove, potatoes boiling, a gelatin salad in the fridge, and a broccoli and cauliflower salad marinating. She had chowchow and strawberry preserves on the table, and apple, pumpkin, and chocolate pies in her old pie safe that was tucked in a corner of the room.

  She had some holiday platters out on the counter to use and candles on the table. It was a lot fancier than what Rose was used to—at least at home. Monika, Eve, and her grandmother all had special holiday dishware, but the Lehman family never had.

  “What can I help with?” Rose asked.

  “You could set the table. Remember to add a plate for Zane.”

  Rose nodded. It was easier for Zane to come to their house than for Lila to go to his folks’. As she pulled the plates from the cupboard, she asked Beth about her platters.

  “Oh, I got those in Maryland,” she said.

  Rose knew it was a more liberal district. The bishop there had allowed Beth to teach at the school, even though she was divorced. She was still surprised at that. Even more so that Bishop Byler had allowed her to teach in their district.

  “Tell me about Maryland,” Rose said.

  Beth explained that she had a cousin there who encouraged her to relocate. “I had no future in Ohio. I couldn’t remarry. I couldn’t teach, which I’d done for several years before I married. I could take care of my parents, but that was all. When they passed on, this cousin—who was also single—suggested I join her.”

  “And then what happened?” Rose asked as she put the last plate on the table.

  “I’d been there for a while, working in farmers’ markets and that sort of thing, but during the week I would volunteer at the school. No one seemed to think I would corrupt the students, which was such a relief.” Beth turned the potatoes off and drained the water as she talked. “Then the teacher suddenly fell ill, and I was in the best position to help out because I was familiar with the students and the curric
ulum, plus I didn’t have any other pressing obligations. When the teacher resigned a few months later, the school board asked me to take the job for good, and of course I said yes.”

  “And how long did you teach there?”

  “Oh, goodness . . .” she said. “Thirteen years.”

  “Why did you come here?”

  “Well,” she said. “The bishop died and the new one thought I shouldn’t be teaching, that I’d be a bad influence on the children. Gideon and I had met at the farmers’ market a few years ago—he was selling his tables. This new bishop was acquainted with Gideon and tried to get his opinion, but Gideon said it wasn’t his business. Once he found out I’d been let go though, he contacted me and said there was a position open here. He didn’t think it was right that—as a single woman with no family to speak of—my livelihood should be taken away like that.”

  “Oh,” Rose said, leaning against the counter.

  “What’s wrong?” Beth asked, turning toward her.

  Rose shook her head. “I’m all right.” But the severity of her own situation was sinking in. What if she didn’t have Dat to watch over her and the Bobbli? Someday she wouldn’t. He wouldn’t live forever. How would she support the two of them then?

  Beth hadn’t done anything wrong, and yet she’d been shamed for years. And then again much later too, long after she probably expected those days were over. Rose had been put under the Bann the week before. It would last for six weeks, then she would be reinstated and returned to fellowship. Jah, what people thought of her would change, but she’d still be part of the community.

  Now Rose wondered if there were those in the district who thought Beth had been a bad influence on the family and had affected Rose. Her face grew warm at the thought of it. Nothing could be further from the truth. Beth was one of those people who made everyone around her want to do better.

  Trudy came into the kitchen and asked what she could do to help. Beth had her put the chowchow and preserves in bowls. Next, Jenny came in with the Bobbli. Then Lila hobbled in on her crutches.

  “When is Zane coming over?” Beth asked.

  “Any minute,” Lila answered. She sat down at the table. “Anything I can do from here?” she asked.