Amish Weddings

by Leslie Gould

  Rose glanced at Reuben and the baby and then back at Trevor. “Could we talk in private?” she asked.

  “Around here?” he joked. “Does that exist?”

  Reuben cringed.

  “How about outside?” Rose asked. They both pushed their chairs back and headed out the back door.

  Trudy had returned to the rocker. “Why is he here?” she whispered to Reuben.

  Reuben shrugged, his heart racing.

  “Is he going to take Rose and Abrie away?”

  Reuben shrugged again, realizing he couldn’t speak even if he knew what the answer was. He swallowed hard. The hollow feeling he’d had ever since he found out Rose was pregnant with Trevor’s Bobbli was more intense than ever.

  Trudy went to the window. “They’re getting in his car.” She turned toward Reuben. “Do you think they’re leaving?”

  “No,” he managed to say. Rose wouldn’t leave Abrie. “Is it still raining?”

  Trudy nodded. “Just a drizzle though.”

  “They probably wanted somewhere dry to talk.”

  “I can’t believe this,” Lila said from the table.

  Zane said, probably to Tim, “I’m so sorry about all of this. Really.”

  “I know,” Tim answered. “Don’t blame yourself anymore.”

  “Jah,” Lila said. “Dat’s the one who wrote Trevor an anonymous note that Abrie had been born.” Lila’s voice grew louder. “Go out there and talk to Rose, Dat. She can’t get together with him. She’ll listen to you.”

  Reuben joined Trudy at the window and peered through the sheer curtain. The car faced the house diagonally, with Rose closer to the window, so they had a pretty good view of her even through the rain on the windshield. Rose had turned toward Trevor and spoke rather animatedly. Trevor had his head down. When it appeared that Rose had begun to cry, Reuben turned away. It wasn’t his business, not anymore, and he shouldn’t be spying.

  Trudy said, “She’s getting something from the glove box.”

  “Maybe she’s looking for a tissue,” Reuben said.

  “She has two bottles in her hands. Pill bottles. And now something silver.”

  Reuben wasn’t going to speculate what that was all about. He kept his back to the window.

  “She’s getting out of the car,” Trudy said. “And he is too. She’s yelling at him.”

  Reuben could hear that, although he couldn’t figure out what she was saying.

  The sound of Lila’s cane started toward the living room. Trudy pressed her nose to the glass.

  “She just threw one of the bottles at him.”

  “What’s going on?” Lila stepped closer to the window.

  “Rose is really mad about something.”

  “What’s in her hand?”

  “A pill bottle. She just threw the other one.”

  “Oh,” Lila said. “Is that a flask? She just threw it too.” She shuddered and started back to the kitchen.

  The Bobbli relaxed against Reuben, melting against his chest despite the drama. By some miracle, she’d fallen asleep again. He stepped into the kitchen. Lila was at the back door, with Zane right behind her. The door opened and Reuben could hear Rose yell, “You lied to me!”

  “Okay, I took a few pain pills. And, yes, I took some of Lila’s.”

  “That’s a pathetic answer,” Rose shouted. “You lied—back then and just now too. And you were so vague about your girlfriend too—did you really break up with her before you came to Lancaster County? Or did you just tell me that?”

  “Why would it have mattered?” Trevor was louder now. “You were cheating on Reuben.”

  “Jah, and it was the worst mistake of my life,” Rose yelled.

  Trudy stepped to Reuben’s side as he stood beside the table, and then to the kitchen window. Reuben followed her.

  “Go out there,” Beth said to Tim. “No good is going to come from this.”

  Tim sighed and pushed his chair back as Rose kept yelling, still clutching the second pill bottle, asking if Trevor had lied to her also about wanting them to be a family.

  “I thought I did,” he said. “But obviously you’re not in any sort of condition to make being a family work.”

  Rose erupted in a sardonic laugh. “Obviously you have some sort of drug problem. And a drinking problem.”

  “No, I don’t.” He crossed his arms. He lowered his voice a little. “Look, I do drink sometimes. And take prescription pills every once in a while.” He shrugged. “But I’m not addicted to either.”

  Rose’s voice grew louder. “Yet you steal and lie because of them.”

  Trevor didn’t answer, but Beth nudged Tim. He stood and started for the back door.

  Trevor still stood with his arms crossed, but now his shoulders were hunched. He wasn’t the confident Englischer on the barn beam—no, he seemed more like a boy now. Or, more likely, a broken man. As he held little Abrie, Reuben felt a wave of compassion for him, realizing Trevor hadn’t even asked to see his baby, let alone hold her. He had no idea what he was missing.

  “I was so naïve.” Rose’s voice was lower now but still audible. “And foolish. Did you return just to see what your options were? To see if it would be worth it to lie to me again? Did your father encourage you to do the right thing?”

  “I haven’t told my dad,” Trevor said.

  “Because you don’t want your girlfriend to find out, right?” Rose yelled.

  Trevor looked as if he might cry. “Ex-girlfriend. Honestly.”

  Tim stepped toward the two of them. “That’s enough. If you need a mediator, come back in the house and talk this through, otherwise stop this yelling.”

  “Yeah,” Trevor said. “We need to figure this out. If you don’t want to give me a chance—”

  “I don’t,” Rose said. “I was a fool to go as far as your car with you.” Reuben could imagine how fiery her eyes were.

  “Then we better talk about the legal side of things,” Trevor said. “But first I want a paternity test.”

  “That’s not necessary,” Tim said. “I believe my daughter, one hundred percent. I didn’t contact you to get child support. I’ll take financial responsibility for the baby. But you’re welcome to visit.”

  “Dat!” Rose said.

  “It’s the right thing to do,” Tim said to his daughter. Then he turned back to Trevor. “But you need to have some sort of evaluation first, about your substance abuse. We don’t need any more problems around here.”

  Trevor frowned, just a little, but he didn’t say he wouldn’t. He turned to Rose. “I won’t stay where I’m not wanted, but I will be back to visit.”

  Reuben winced. Trevor was even more manipulative than he’d guessed. Poor Rose. Thankfully Tim could help her navigate what was ahead. Reuben wasn’t sure if the man actually said good-bye to Rose or not. If he did, it was quietly.

  Reuben stepped closer to the window. Rose stood with her arms crossed. She might have muttered a farewell but he couldn’t hear it either. She spun around just as Lila came toward her and then thrust the remaining bottle into her hand. “Here,” she said. “I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you back then.”

  Then Rose disappeared from sight as Tim stepped forward to talk with Trevor and then Zane did too. A moment later Rose came through the back door, and Reuben and Trudy both stepped away from the window. Rose’s Kapp and dress were damp.

  She hurried toward them. “Is Abrie all right?”

  “She’s fine,” Reuben said, looking down at the sleeping baby.

  “I’m sorry,” Rose said. “For everything. Including”—she pointed toward the window—“that.”

  Reuben met her teary gaze.

  “But I’ll never be sorry for her.” Her eyes fell on her baby.

  “Of course not,” Reuben said. He’d never ask her to, but he couldn’t say that. Not yet. Ten minutes ago, Rose seemed to be thinking about leaving with Trevor. What was she thinking now? She met his eyes again but didn’t say anything more.
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  “I need to go change into dry clothes,” Rose said.

  “Go ahead,” Reuben said. “We’ll be here when you get back.”

  They didn’t talk any more that day or for the next two weeks. Reuben spent most of his evenings in the Lehmans’ basement, helping Tim and Zane put up the walls, lay down a floor, and install a kitchen. He enjoyed the work and spending time with both men.

  One day when Zane hadn’t arrived yet, as Reuben worked with Tim, it seemed like old times, when they worked together at the lumberyard and talked about anything and everything—quite the feat for two men who were mostly quiet.

  As Reuben held plasterboard in place, he asked Tim, “Do you ever wonder what your family’s life would have been like if the Becks had never moved to Juneberry Lane?”

  Tim had a nail in his mouth but took it out. “No.” Then he smiled. “Well, sure, I used to. But I haven’t for a few weeks at least.” He grinned. “Why do you ask?”

  Reuben shrugged. Zane and Trevor wouldn’t have been in the picture. Simon wouldn’t have been influenced by Joel’s war stories and most likely wouldn’t have joined the Army. The Lehmans would have been a normal Amish family. “It just seems things would have been so much simpler.”

  “Well, simple wasn’t God’s plan for us,” Tim said. “He wanted us to love our neighbors. And let’s not forget how they’ve loved us. How many times has Shani helped us out with her medical knowledge? Or brought a meal over. Or given us a ride. How many times did Joel give Simon wise counsel when he wouldn’t listen to me? And I don’t mean about the Army, which you probably don’t realize Joel advised Simon not to join. And how many times has Shani mothered my girls?” Tim shuddered a little. “I actually hate to think about what our lives would have been like without them.”

  When Reuben didn’t respond—he wasn’t sure what to say—Tim continued. “I wish I could say my love for them truly comes from God. I hope it does. I hope I would have loved them even if they hadn’t turned out to be good folks. But we’ve been blessed to have them as neighbors and as friends.” It was quite the speech for Tim Lehman, but it turned out he wasn’t done. “Sure, if I cared like I used to about what people thought, if I cared how those in our district were judging me, I might still regret that the Becks became our neighbors. I hope I’m past that. I really do. God willing, we’ll share grandchildren someday. I want to keep being good friends to them.”

  As Tim put the nail back in his mouth and grabbed his hammer, Reuben thought about what he’d said and then about how Tim used to care about people judging him. Reuben understood that. But that was pride, plain and simple. When Tim gave that up, he gained so much more. His neighbors. His children. Eventually Beth. It had freed him. And humbled him.

  The next day Reuben joined the Lehmans for supper before getting back to work on the basement. After the prayer, Zane announced that the lawyer he’d spoken to had called on his parents’ phone.

  Zane dished up a couple of chicken thighs as he spoke. “The insurance company determined Mr. Addison was at fault. They’ll pay the medical bills and for the buggy.” He added that the lawyer and the adjuster had met with Mr. Addison and, based on the evidence, convinced the man not to sue.

  Lila’s relief was evident as she smiled at Zane. Tim seemed relieved too, but then an expression of concern settled on his face. “Has Donald Addison lost his license because of this? Does he need our help?”

  “Dat,” Lila said. “What are we going to do? Give him rides in our buggies?”

  “We could give him a list of our best drivers,” Zane countered.

  “Jah,” Tim said. “And take over a pie.”

  Zane smiled and then said, “I think the thought is a good one, but he might feel we’re rubbing salt in his wounds. Let’s just see how it all works out. Maybe Gideon can find out if there’s anything we can do to help.”

  “That’s a good idea.” Tim turned toward Lila. “You had a message today. From your brother.”

  “What? From Simon? Is he coming?”

  “Not from Simon,” Tim said. “And not from Daniel either.”

  “Oh, from Butch,” Lila said.

  “Jah,” Tim answered. “He said that he and his mother would be honored to come to your wedding. They’ll see you then.”

  No one spoke for a long moment, but then Lila said, “Denki. I better let Daniel know.”

  Tim nodded.

  “Speaking of Simon,” Tim said, “Lila didn’t have a message from him, but I did.” He grinned. “He’ll be here for the wedding too. With Casey. And I’ll go ahead and spoil their big news. They flew to Hawaii last week and got married.”

  “What?” Lila said. “They got married before Zane and me?”

  “Apparently so,” Tim said, turning to Trudy. “You know this isn’t the way we do things, right? The way Simon has done things. The way Rose has—”

  “Dat, I know,” she answered. “Beth and I talk about this all the time.”

  Tim turned to Beth, at the end of the table. “Oh, is that right?”

  “Jah, it absolutely is,” Beth said. “But things seem to work out in spite of us.”

  “It’s a paradox,” Zane said to Trudy. “It means both things can be right at the same time.” He glanced at Rose. She shrugged, giving him permission to go on. “God can work good from the wrong we do, but that doesn’t make the wrong all right.”

  Trudy’s face grew red. “Jah, I get it,” she said.

  Reuben tried to swallow his chicken but began coughing instead.

  “What’s the matter, Ru?” Zane asked, sounding a lot like Simon.

  Reuben took a drink of water. “Tried to go down the wrong pipe,” he said. “That’s all.”

  Could he—should he—stand in the way of that good? He thought Rose loved him, but then she betrayed him. Now she had a Bobbli that he hadn’t fathered, but she’d grown and matured in ways she probably never would have if she hadn’t gone through the trials of the last nine months. Rose caught his eye, but he turned his head away, his heart racing.

  Perhaps Beth sensed the awkwardness he felt, because she said, “We have peanut butter pie for dessert. Rose has been baking again.”

  Rose quickly stood and stepped to the counter, returning with the dessert. Reuben was stuffed, but he wouldn’t refuse a piece of pie.

  After supper, Reuben returned to the basement with Tim and Zane. He stayed later than usual to do some finishing work, and by the time he made his way upstairs, Tim was already in bed. Lila and Zane sat at the table. Reuben quickly told them good-bye and let himself out.

  The sound of the Bobbli crying confused him as he hurried down the back steps. He followed the sound toward the field.

  Rose walked in the moonlight, back and forth in front of the gate.

  “What’s going on?” Reuben asked.

  “It’s her fussy time,” Rose said. “I don’t want to keep Trudy awake. Or Dat and Beth.”

  “So you come out here every night?”

  She shrugged. “It’s been so warm this last week.”

  “You must be tired,” Reuben said, thinking again that she wasn’t that far past her surgery. “Want me to take a turn?” He reached out his hands for the Bobbli.

  Rose passed the little one to him. “Denki,” she said. “I appreciate it. Just for a moment. Then I’ll take her back.”

  “It can get frustrating, jah?”

  Rose nodded.

  His sister Sarah’s first Bobbli had been colicky. But she had her husband to share the responsibility. He knew Rose had a houseful of people to help her, but he doubted it was the same as having a husband.

  He placed the Bobbli against his shoulder and began patting her back again. He hadn’t held her since the day Trevor visited. Standing beside Rose, holding Abrie, the hollowness in him subsided some.

  Rose stepped closer to him. “Denki,” she said. “For everything.”

  Reuben nodded but couldn’t seem to find his voice. Hopefully, in time, he would.
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br />   27

  On the second Thursday of July, the morning of her wedding, Lila leaned against her cane and stood at the top step of the back stairs. Her grandparents, Eve and Charlie, and the Becks, including Zane’s grandfather, had all arrived an hour ago. Now the sun was rising over the field, the men were all doing the milking, and half the women were in the basement finishing up the last of the meatballs while the others were making breakfast in the upstairs kitchen.

  Dat had put a sink, two stoves, and a refrigerator in the new kitchen, as well as a long work counter that offered much more room than the upstairs kitchen did.

  He was so happy with what he and Zane and Reuben had done that he said he’d remodel the upstairs kitchen next.

  After the milking was done, the men would set up the benches and tables in the area between the driveway and the gate. The temperature was supposed to be just below eighty degrees for the day. Perfect for an outdoor wedding.

  Lila walked carefully down the steps. Beth had planted annuals for the wedding—pink petunias, white impatiens, and pink and white geraniums—in whiskey barrels scattered around the outside of the house and along the driveway and fence line. The vegetable garden was also flourishing under Beth’s care. Dat had cut the hay earlier in the week. Thankfully the dust had settled and all that the morning breeze carried was the fresh scent of the bales, drying in the field.

  After she reached the driveway, she headed toward the gate, remembering the first time she’d seen Zane on the other side. She eased up on the cane as she approached the grassy area, visualizing what it would soon look like.

  White and lime-green tablecloths would cover the tables. Beth had made the cake. It was all white except for thin green trim. Eve and Charlie were bringing flowers for the cake table, the only decorations they’d use, and her grandmother was contributing paper napkins and cups. The dishes from the church wagon, which was parked along the fence, would be used for the meal.

  She held her cane with both hands and began walking toward the gate, imagining where the benches would be.

  Lila had wanted to keep the invitation list small, but Dat and Beth kept adding names. She told them she and Zane couldn’t afford that much, but they said they’d cover the expense of the wedding.