by Theda Vallee
“I’ll be right back. It’s Brady. Probably a dating emergency,” I said. Getting up, I went out the backdoor and into the garden for privacy. Easton was friend potential, but he was here to keep an eye on us, it was better to keep him from overhearing anything right now. I dialed Brady’s number. He picked up on the first ring.
“Etta, can you hear me?” he asked, whispering loudly into the phone. “Are you alone?”
“Yes, why are you whispering?”
“Shit is going sideways. Everyone is losing their ever-loving minds. The big wigs are screaming and fighting. I heard them demanding that everyone associated with the Ministry of Drag be arrested. They have no evidence. Nothing pointing to them. I don’t know what to do.”
For the first time since I’d met Brady, he sounded afraid. I wanted to reassure him that everything would be okay, but I knew that wasn’t true. “There’s nothing you can do. Dissent is treason right now. We have to figure out who the hell is doing this, so we can prove it wasn’t them.”
“Etta, you know damn well they don’t believe M.O.D. is responsible for the attacks. Vee said she could feel them lying. This is political. It’s the perfect time to get rid of them. It doesn’t matter if they find the real mastermind. They’ll kill them, and no one will stop them,” Brady said, his voice cutting off in a sob.
I listened to the fairy who’d become my friend cry into the phone. Even when every bone in his body had been broken, he’d never cried. He’d cursed up a storm when the mending spell had knit the bone fragments back together, but there had been no tears. Nothing ever seemed to faze him. I didn’t want anything to happen to the queens, either, but just talking about it could get us killed.
“I don’t know what we can do,” I said weakly.
“We can’t let them die. We can’t.”
His desperate plea broke my heart. Was I really going to let this happen? Did I want to be the person who looked the other way out of self-preservation? That was a coward’s excuse. Whatever happened, I couldn’t let the queens die. It was terrifying. The odds were stacked against us in every direction, but somehow, we had to help them.
“Can you get over here? Will Vee help?” I heard myself asking before I could change my mind.
Brady mumbled out a few more sentences before agreeing to meet me at the bakery. I hung up, contemplating what the hell to do next. Subterfuge wasn’t something I was experienced in. If this was happening, my whole family would have to agree. We’d all be at risk.
Taking a deep breath, I moved across the yard and stepped into the kitchen. “Hey, girls, I need help upstairs. I have an emergency tampon situation.”
Gia and Nerina both looked at me like I’d grown a second head. Easton shuddered but smartly, kept his eyes glued to his phone. Thankfully, the girls got the hint, and both stood up following me through the archway.
“If it’s stuck again, you’re going to the doctor to get it removed. Using pliers on your lady land is not sanitary!” Nerina shouted as we made our way upstairs. Leave it to my sister to come up with a disturbing backstory for my lie.
Aunt Sophia and Nonna were watching a talk show when we got back to the living room. I clicked the television off, turning as the girls settled back onto the couch. Closing the door with a soft click, I stood with my hands on my hips, wondering how to ask them to risk their lives for my friend.
“We were watching that,” Aunt Sophia protested.
“Sorry, but we have an emergency. How would you guys like to help me commit treason?” I blurted out.
Nerina sat next to Easton, her leg bouncing up and down nervously. If she didn’t calm her nerves, we’d get caught.
I set a brownie on the table in front of him along with a cup of coffee. I’d laced both of them with the most potent sleeping potion we had on hand. We didn’t know how quickly his fae metabolism would process it. Too much and we risked accidentally overdosing him, but we needed him to stay asleep for a few hours. I smiled, feeling guilty for what we were doing. He’d been so nice lately. “Here, I thought you might like a snack.”
“Dude, that’s rad. Thank you,” he said, eyeing the brownie greedily. “I know this sucks for you guys. Thank you for being so cool about it.”
Retreating to the far side of the room, I stood by the sink, trying to look nonchalant as I started doing the dishes. It took everything in me not to sneak glances at him as he ate the tainted food.
“This is delicious. I’m not usually into human food. Everything in Fairy tastes better, but this isn’t bad,” Easton said to Nerina as he crammed a bite of brownie into his mouth.
Nerina nodded, a plastic smile plastered on her face. She looked like a bobblehead, nodding and nodding endlessly.
“It’s Nonna’s espresso brownie recipe. We only make them for the bakery once a week, so you’re in luck we had one left,” I said from across the room. Nerina kept smiling and nodding. Please let him think she was just being her normal weird self.
Aunt Sophia sauntered into the kitchen, smiling like a Cheshire cat. I dropped the plate I’d been scrubbing, cringing as it splintered on impact. She was the last person we needed in here while we were trying to knock out our babysitter.
“Mama, I thought you were going to lay down,” Gia said, swiftly moving to block her mother from getting too far in the room.
“Nonsense, it’s not even the dark yet. I thought Mr. Easton would like a little relax while he is here,” she said, lifting the damn vibrator up to show us what she meant.
Easton stood up, turning towards her. His legs wobbled unsteadily as he maneuvered his body. A look of confusion crossed his face as he saw Aunt Sophia waving the vibrator in his direction. His mouth opened in surprise before his eyes fluttered back in his head. He collapsed in a heap on the floor narrowly missing hitting his head.
“Oh, I wanted to help him relax before he passed out. I thought it was the kind thing to do,” Aunt Sophia said frowning at his crumpled form.
Before we could decide what to do with his body, Brady and Vee burst through the back door.
“Why the hell is your Aunt swinging a vibrator around the kitchen?”
“This is not a vibrator, it is for home spa days,” Aunt Sophia said, her eyes narrowing a little as she studied the object in her hand. “Here, let me show you how it works.”
Brady shook his head adamantly. “Sorry, love, we don’t have time for a spa treatment right now. We’re about to commit all kinds of treasonous shit and need to get to it before pretty boy here wakes up and sounds the alarm.”
“What do we do with his carcass?” Nerina asked, nudging Easton’s collapsed form with her toe. “I don’t think we should leave him alone in case he wakes up.”
Aunt Sophia leaned over him closing his eyelids. She looked at me and said, “We can put him behind the island. Hidden from door but still here where we can watch yes?”
Gia nodded, sprinting to grab a pillow and a blanket for him. The least we could do was make him somewhat comfortable. Vee dragged his limp form behind the island, adjusting him carefully.
“You can explain to me later why your Auntie thinks a vibrator is for actual massages,” Brady whispered to me as we settled around the table. “Vee has a good idea that I think we need to flesh out.”
Vee floated over to the window, peeking out before turning to speak. She was nervous, I could tell be the way she clenched her fists over and over. We were all treading uncharted territory right now. This could cost us our lives. Yet, when I’d gone upstairs to tell my family what I wanted to do, no one had batted an eye. They understood what the price could be and agreed that we couldn’t stand by and let the queens be murdered. I was in a room full of the bravest people I’d ever met, and I was so proud of them all.
“I think we should petition the Unseelie court for asylum on behalf of the queens,” Vee said, her lilting voice sending a wave of calm through the room.
“What the hell is the Unseelie court?” Nerina asked.
“The dark fae. They were ex
iled from Fairy when the fertility struggles started a thousand years ago or so. The original court thought they’d put a curse on the light fae out of jealousy. The cousin of King Oberon, Finvarra took the exiled people into his realm The Shadowlands, or Tír na nÓg,” Brady explained.
“The land of the dead. You want me to protect the queens by sending them to the land of the dead?” I asked. “Why would this Finvarra guy help us, anyway?”
“He’s King Finvarra now, and the Unseelie court is where the unwanted go. The Unseelie are bound by the council’s rules, but they have one distinct advantage. When they were exiled, it was decided that the Unseelie seat on the council was forfeit. King Finvarra threatened war unless they gave him something of value in exchange for the seat. He made the council agree that they could only enter the Shadowlands with permission of the ruling King,” Vee replied. “No one can enter without a pass.”
The plan was too good to be true. A place the queens could hide, where no one could look for them. There had to be a catch. Nothing was this easy. “And when do you tell me why this isn’t as easy as it sounds?”
“You’re getting so savvy, kitten. Someone has to petition the King or one of his representatives for entry. I can’t go. As a Seelie fae, they’ll send me packing at the gates. Besides, someone has to get the queens and keep them hidden until their asylum is granted,” Brady said.
“Which means I have to go. What makes you think they’ll let me in?” I asked. “I feel like there’s something else you need to tell me. This still doesn’t sound that hard.”
Gia paced in the small space, she paused her eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Don’t you have to give the Unseelie something of value to get a favor? We don’t have anything worth a fae favor.”
“With the power she’s capable of, they could ask for a terrible favor,” Nonna said folding her hands on the table. “I don’t know that this is wise.”
“Yeah, that’s the hard part. Etta will go, hopefully be let in, and bargain with them for the favor. There’s no telling what the hell they’ll ask for,” Brady said.
“So, assuming Etta can do all that, how is she supposed to get there? It’s not like we can just Google map it. Can we?” Nerina asked.
“I know how to get there. We can teleport through a waterfall near here,” Vee said. “Most of my people were killed off in Osservatori raids, the Unseelie consider me neutral because of this, so I will escort you.”
Vee had never mentioned her family before today. How the hell did she end up working for the Osservatori when they were responsible for the annihilation of her people? I could only imagine it was a similar arrangement to mine, the ‘join or die’ kind.
“All right, so how do we keep everyone from finding out what we’re up to? Easton will wake up and notice I’m gone. Someone will wonder where the hell Brady and Vee are,” I said.
“Leave that to us, kiddo, I’ve got a brilliant plan,” Gia said, rubbing her hands together gleefully.
Why did that scare the crap out of me?
Chapter Twelve
A glamoured pile of pillows lay nestled in my bed. If you peeked from the doorway with the lights off, it looked like I was sleeping peacefully. If someone got too close, they’d see it wasn’t me. Hopefully, it would be enough to buy us time in case someone came looking for me.
A celestite crystal hung beneath my shirt, nestled in my cleavage. Gia had bespelled it to glow when the matching one was activated. If they needed me home, she’d trigger the alarm. We’d sent Brady to gather the queens and hide them in a place he ‘knew’ until we gave him the all-clear to transport them to the Shadowlands. It was a race to see who would get to them first, us or the Osservatori. I didn’t want to think about what would happen if Brady got there too late.
Nerina was going to cast an amnesia curse on Easton. She wasn’t sure how many hours he’d lose, but it had to be done. We couldn’t risk him waking up and remembering we’d knocked him out earlier. It wasn’t a perfect plan, but it was what we had.
Vee and I drove to the waterfall which was just outside the city limits. I timed the drive at twenty minutes. That made me nervous. If someone came looking for one of us, we wouldn’t be able to make it back quickly. I’d parked my car at the bottom of a hill, and then we’d hiked the rest of the way. We had tried to hide it as best we could, but a bright-yellow VW Bug was hard to hide. As long as no one had reason to check for us here it would be fine, but it was one more loose end to worry about.
“Are you ready?” Vee asked, her lean body shimmering in the moonlight.
I nodded, taking the hand she held out to me. The cool tingle of her magic brushed against me, ebbing over my skin like a gentle brook. Closing my eyes and inhaling a mouthful of air, we stepped through the waterfall. The icy water sucked the air from my lungs instantly. Fighting the need to breathe, I kept my lips sealed. Refusing the urge to inhale through my nose, I blindly clung to Vee’s hand trusting her to pull me to safety. The water pressed against me on all sides, crushing my body as we moved. My chest burned as the water pulled on me like a riptide.
For a moment, I thought I’d have to open my mouth to breathe against my will. Just when I thought I couldn’t take the strain on my lungs one more second, we plopped out of the water like buoys, bobbing up and down on the surface.
“You can breathe now,” Vee said belatedly. I was already gulping down air in huge gasping breaths.
“I don’t know that I ever want to do that again,” I said as the burning in my chest began to subside.
“It helps if you have gills,” Vee said, pulling us towards the shore.
Sure. Gills probably would have made that a ton easier. Why hadn’t I thought to bring some?
“Here, let me dry you off,” Vee said, running her hands down the length of my body in a sweeping motion. The water on me swirled about like tiny cyclones as her magic touched it. She waved her hands around the collected water droplets sweeping them back into the lake with ease.
I reached up, touching my hair. It was bone dry. “That’s a nifty trick.”
“It is not a trick. It’s my magic.”
A dense forest of gnarled black trees surrounded the lake. The leaves were a shock of crimson along the skyline, a stark contrast to the shimmering onyx bark. They weren’t the orange and rust of autumn, but instead a deep ruby red reminiscent of blood.
“Well, this isn’t nearly as terrifying as I thought it’d be,” I said, sarcasm masking my fear.
“No, it’s rather lovely in its way, isn’t it?”
I needed to remember that Vee didn’t quite get sarcasm. “So, where do we go from here?”
Vee nodded towards the forest. “In there.”
We were going to walk right into the damn spooky forest. Where else would we go in the land of the dead? I followed behind her as she scouted along the tree line. “What are you looking for? Maybe I can help?”
“It is too hard to explain.”
Fine. I’d just follow behind and hope nothing jumped out of the death forest to maul me.
A few hundred feet later, she stopped, pointing to a spot in the trees. “The path is there. Come on. It’s not too far from here.”
Squinting, I made out what might be the path. It was covered in leaves, making it almost impossible to see. We stepped onto the trail, leaving behind the serene safety of the lake. The ground made a soft squelch under our feet instead of the crunch I’d expected. The sound made me gag as we moved along briskly. Now that I’d thought of it as blood, my stupid brain wouldn’t let the image go.
Thankfully, we didn’t have far to go before the forest began to thin, giving way gradually to a wide meadow covered in purple grass. I’d much rather walk beside a field of funky grass. Nothing could hide in the short, rounded blobs of grass waving gently in the breeze. Off in the distance, a gray wall came into view, breaking up the great purple expanse.
Trudging forward, we made it to the wall just when my feet were beginning to protest. We’d been
here for an hour already. Now that we were here, I crossed my fingers that it went fast. Every minute we were gone, brought us a second closer to being caught.
The path ended at the wall where a set of imposing black doors sat embedded into the stone. We stopped at the door and peered up. There didn’t seem to be a way to open it.
“What now?” I asked.
“We knock,” Vee replied, shaking her head at my stupidity. She reached up rapping her fist on the door three times before looking up expectantly.
A door high up in the gate swung open. How the hell were we supposed to get up there? Were they going to drop a ladder down? Instead of a ladder, a giant umber eyeball popped into view.
“Who goes there?” a voice rumbled from behind the gate.
“Hello, Julius, I’m Vellamo. This is my friend Etta. We’re here to seek an audience with the King.”
“You know the eyeball?” I whispered.
“It’s not just an eyeball, and I’ve been here before remember?”
The eye peered down at us, unblinking. I tried to stand still without fidgeting and look as relaxed as possible. When facing the unknown, it was always best to appear composed, even if you wanted to pee yourself.
“What is she?” the eyeball asked.
“A strega. Not a very good one, though,” Vee said, nodding at me with a bright smile as if I’d agree with her. It was true, but we didn’t need to use it as my calling card.
“Prove it. Turn into a cat,” the eyeball demanded.
I choked on my spit, turning to Vee in a panic. “I’m not turning into a cat. If I do, I’ll be naked when I change back. I will not let that eyeball see all of me,” I said, gesturing to my private bits.
Vee rolled her eyes, letting out a huff. “We can ask him not to look when you change back. Being naked in front of cyclops is not that big a deal. He will think you are too skinny to be attractive.”
I looked down at my size fourteen waist and wondered how thick I needed to be to entice a cyclops. Not that I wanted an answer to that, but I’d never been called skinny before. It didn’t feel nearly as good as I thought it would.
