“Why is admitting to me that you want this as much as I do so complicated?
Was she kidding? Admitting that I enjoyed kissing a woman could be the unraveling of the rest of my life. What could this secret do to my family? I didn’t want to know and did not intend to find out.
“Look, it was a mistake, a fluke and it will never happen again.”
Selena lifted an eyebrow.
“Maria, are you seriously saying you felt nothing?”
I was starting to get frustrated with this conversation.
“Yes, I am.” I said.
She sighed.
“You’re such a liar Maria. Yet, I get it. It took me awhile to admit that I preferred another woman in my bed rather than a man.”
I began to speak. She raised a hand to silence me.
“I completely understand. I know how you feel. I know that you feel for me the way I feel for you. It was completely obvious this afternoon in front of the girls.”
I averted my eyes. I could not admit my feelings.
“Well, it was wonderful for me. It released feelings for you I have been trying to hide for a long time.”
I turned and looked at her.
I was speechless. What feelings? I didn’t know how to respond. I was afraid to inquire about these “feelings”. It didn’t matter. She offered them without any prodding from me.
“Haven’t you noticed?” She inquired.
When I shook my head she laughed.
“I have been infatuated with you for a while Maria. Sometimes I find myself wondering what it would be like to kiss you and make love to you.”
“Selena stop, please do not say anymore.” I stood from the table and began to pace. She stood and came over to me.
“Haven’t you wondered what it would be like to kiss me, to see what I taste like?”
Her words made me tingle all over.
She was right. Often I would imagine. I would imagine the taste of her pussy on my lips. Would it be tangy or sweet? Lately I would masturbate in the shower and imagine her making love to me.
I turned to her. We stood face to face. She took the opportunity and brought me close. She leaned down and placed her lips on mine.
We kissed.
It felt like I was meant to kiss her. She wrapped her hands around my waist and held me tight. I was lost in the moment. I had never felt so good before. Eventually kissing was not all that she wanted. She pulled back but she didn’t let me go. She slowly led me over to the kitchen table.
She motioned for me to sit. I sat in the chair and she shook her head. She motioned for me to sit on the table. I scooted onto the table and in the process my skirt glided up my legs exposing my thighs. She positioned herself between my legs. We began to kiss again. I ran my fingers through her blonde hair.
She moved bringing her lips inches away from mine.
“Maria, I want you so bad.” She breathed into me.
I found it hard to reply. But my body reacted to those words and I could sense myself getting so wet. As if by instinct, Selena slid her fingers down and found my wetness soaking through my panties.
“And you said you felt nothing.” She mocked.
She moved my panties out of the way and slowly inserted two fingers deep inside of me. I could not hold back the moan that escaped from my lips.
“Oh,” I cried out.
“I knew I could make you feel so good.” She said as she slipped her fingers in and out.
She pulled her fingers out for the last time and licked off my juices. Then she kissed me deeply.
I could taste myself. I liked it.
She moved back and pushed my skirt up higher. She slowly brought my underwear down my legs and tossed them on the nearest chair.
She situated herself between my legs again except this time she was on her knees and her lips were inches away from my pussy. She used her hands to spread my legs further apart and then she slowly pressed her tongue against my clit.
“Oh, that feels so good.”
She didn’t respond. She was too busy devouring me, licking and sucking and driving me crazy. I knew I had to be so wet, wetter than I have ever been in my life. I didn’t want her to stop. I ran my fingers through her hair as she continued to lap up my juicy cunt.
I didn’t think I could take it anymore. My orgasm was building and I was suddenly out of breath.
“Oh, please, oh.”
She could tell I was close. She inserted two fingers and slid them in and out as she continued to pay service to my dripping pussy. It didn’t take long after that. I came hard and fast rendering my legs and my whole body useless.
When the intense pleasure from my orgasm started to subside I opened my eyes and saw Selena watching me. Her skirt was hiked up and she was pleasuring herself.
She watched me.
I didn’t move. I just basked in the leftover pleasure from my throbbing clit. Eventually she came and I felt privileged to see such a beautiful creature climax. It took a while for either of us to move.
I finally climbed off the table.
“I think you should go.” I said.
The veil was coming off and I realized what I had just done. I let a woman eat my pussy on the table where my family is served breakfast.
I could hear my mother yelling at me telling me I am ruining my life.
She needed to get the hell out of here!
She didn’t protest. She stood pulling up her panties and grabbed her purse. I led her to the front door and before exiting, she turned and planted another kiss on my lips. She stepped out into the cool air and walked awkwardly to her car.
I went to close the door when I noticed a manila envelope sitting on the ground. I picked it up and closed the door. It was addressed to Michael. My first thought was why someone would just leave this outside our door.
Secondly I thought about what was inside.
I walked the envelope to Michael’s office. I sat back in Michael’s leather chair and slowly laid the contents of the envelope on the desk. There was a lot of legal paperwork from an attorney Timothy Flannigan.
As I grabbed one document, I noticed the word, DIVORCE. My breath caught in my throat. I pulled each document out and started to read. As I read, I became angrier and angrier. My world froze at that very second. The last document showed his signature. It was his copy of his petition for divorce.
I placed each document back and made my way out of the office. All of a sudden, I didn’t feel so well. I couldn’t believe this was happening. The events of the entire day came back to me and I realized I cheated on my cheating husband with a woman and he filed for divorce.
I could feel the vomit in my throat and raced to the bathroom tucked away in Michael’s home office. I spent the next 20 minutes bent over the toilet crying and vomiting. When I was done I left his office and walked upstairs into our bedroom. I climbed into bed and cried myself to sleep.
***
I awoke, still alone in bed. A sliver of moonlight escaped from the window and I could tell that Michael was neither in bed nor in the room. Probably out fucking this woman he plans to leave me for I thought. I threw the covers off and realized that I was still in my clothes.
I let my bare feet hit the warm carpeted floor and took off my clothes replacing them with bedclothes. I realized that I was hungry, so I made my way from the bedroom, down the stairs and into the living room.
The house was dark except for the kitchen. Light slipped from under the door and made shadows on all the tables and vases. I pushed open the door to find Michael sitting at the table. When I walked entered, he looked up and smiled.
“Hey, finally awake?” He questioned taking a sip of whatever he was drinking in a blue mug.
I didn’t smile back but I sat down next to him at the table. It was difficult for me to hold my composure.
Just looking at him made me angry.
I could smell coffee coming from his cup.
I hated coffee.
“What brings you down here? Loo
king for these?” He said taking a huge gulp of his coffee while holding up a pair of my black lacy panties.
“Yes,” I said snatching them out of his hands.
He left it at that and I was reminded of what happened earlier. I was grateful he didn’t inquire more.
My mind quickly went back to the documents I found.
“Did Mitchell eat and go off to bed alright?”
“He’s spending the night over Tommy’s house remember. That is why I let you sleep.”
He reached over and laid his hand on my elbow. I moved away from him. I was waiting for him to start complaining about how I never let him touch me.
It didn’t come.
In fact, it didn’t seem to bother him. He continued to drink his coffee as if nothing happened. I became so livid and enraged.
“You know what I found out today?” I asked with a huge smile on my face.
“Not sure.” He said looking surprised at my pseudo good mood.
His eyes searched my face, reaching into my thoughts, my guess, hoping to find out what I was talking about. My smile wiped away and I glared at him hostilely.
“I discovered my husband has filed for divorce and I had no clue.” I revealed.
He heaved a sigh and reached for me. I smacked his hand away.
“Michael you really want a divorce?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said running his fingers through his hair. “I was going to discuss this with you over lunch today, but again you blew me off to have lunch with your girlfriends.”
I had more than lunch I thought.
“I do not believe this?” I said. “After all I have sacrificed for you?”
By this time I was completely disgusted with him. I made my way to the other side of the kitchen. He stared at me with what seemed to be disbelief on his face. Anger started to appear in his eyes.
“You sacrificed for me? Are you serious?” He questioned.
I turned my back on him.
“Yes I sacrificed for you. I didn’t so much as blink while you slept with only God knows who. I stayed devoted to you and this is what I get. You’re abandoning your family for some slut!”
“You, my dear, may have been devoted to your children, your parents, your friends but you have never been devoted to me.” He said slamming his fist on the table.
“How dare you say that?” I screamed.
“I have tried for years. I suggested we go to therapy hoping that we could make this work, but you know what you do? You ignore me and walk out of therapy when you feel like it.”
“You should have picked a better doctor. That one was a quack!”
“That is not the fucking point!” He exclaimed.
“Watch your foul language.” I chastised
“I cannot believe you are acting as if you did not see this coming. I deserve to be happy for once.” He said taking a sip of his coffee.
After tasting, he made a face and walked over to the sink pouring the remainder of the coffee down the drain. He sighed and leaned against the counter.
With a flash, he grabbed the mug and flung it against the wall. It made a sickening crash and shattered into pieces on the floor. I just stared at the broken pieces of glass.
“Are you crazy?” I shouted.
He walked back to the table and sat down.
“Maria, I am finished. I cannot live like this anymore. I can’t live with this lie anymore.”
My lie or his lie?
“Michael, I do not understand you.”
He placed his head in his hands and heaved a sigh.
“Maria, darling, I love you but I feel it’s over between us.”
“No Michael. No. We are not getting a divorce. You cannot do this to me. What will people think?”
He shook his head.
“Do I look like I care what people think? It’s over and we are getting a divorce whether you like it or not.”
I just stared at him. I could feel my heart starting to race. For a second I could not breathe. I walked to the table and sat down. I had to process this information.
A divorce?
This will ruin me. I cannot get a divorce. The room started to spin and I thought about Selena and her divorce and I just had to ask.
“Michael, do you love her?”
“Who?” He pretended not to know what I was talking about.
“Your current mistress.”
He looked up at me and he was silent. He turned. He didn’t need to speak; I could see it in his eyes. I was speechless.
“Michael how could you?”
This time I stood from the table. I was already flooded with emotions. I knew his answer and I was disgusted.
“Is she worth losing your family over?” I grilled. “Destroying our name, our image and our place in this community?”
He laughed.
“You don’t get it and you will never get it. I don’t give a damn about an image. Our image was ruined with the first woman I fucked.”
He just had to be so cruel.
“I cheat on you and there is no emotion from you, no concern. You were relieved. You had no passion for me. It is all about you. I’m sick of it.”
He said running his fingers through his hair.
I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him any longer. I rushed out of the kitchen and up the stairs to our bedroom.
I just stood there and stared at our room, our bed.
All of a sudden anger took over me and I could not stop myself. I was angry, tearing sheets, pillows and comforters off the bed. I couldn’t sleep in this bed with him. I felt so dirty.
I was so angry with him, at my mother and at myself. I was so afraid that if I lost Michael I would lose it all. I would end up like Selena. At the thought of her, a new wave of nausea overcame me. I raced to the bathroom just in time to spill out my soul.
Maxine
“So, your wife doesn’t like me very much.” I stated nonchalantly munching on a bowl of popcorn, extra butter of course.
I had my feet up on the coffee table relaxing in Mikey’s condo waiting for the pizza to arrive.
Julia was supposed to hang out with us, but her little bartender is keeping her busy lately. She would much rather be with him.
I don’t blame her.
This was the very first time I chilled at Mikey’s place and so far I was not impressed. The décor was feminine and slightly boring. There was no pizzazz or color. Everything was neutral. I knew Mikey long enough to know he didn’t have a hand in the decorating.
Mikey smiled reaching in the bowl and grabbing a handful.
“Why do you say that?” He asked shoveling the whole pile into his mouth.
I never spent that much time with Mikey’s wife. When we were in college he never brought her around much. When we all hung out she was always off with her sorority finding something to do other than hang out with us.
Lately, she and Mikey have gone on quite a few double dates with Julia and her new boy toy Justin. Yet when I am around, she is nowhere to be found. Needless to say she has some kind of problem with me and I never knew why?
“Don’t play dumb. Just be honest. Your wife does not like me.” I said looking him squarely in the eyes.
He heaved a sigh.
“Well Maxi, she just finds you a little…out there.”
Out there? After pondering that term for a second I realized that ‘out there’ could mean quite a few things. It could mean I was out in the world exploring new things. It could mean I was brave enough to expose my vulnerabilities. Yet, I had a sneaky suspicion that is not what she meant.
“She thinks I’m a slut?”
He didn’t answer either way. He just stood from the couch and began to pace. He did that a lot when he needed to think what to say next. I have learned from this past year he gets that from his dad.
“I wouldn’t say a slut,” he began
I was starting to get more than a little offended. Stacey didn’t know me nor did she ever try to get t
o know me. I was smart enough to know that there was more to it than she thinks I’m a whore. I decided to let it go.
“Whatever.” I said shoving more popcorn in my mouth.
Prohibited: an erotic novel Page 17
