Through all of this I thought about my friendship with Mikey. I knew that if I pursued anything with Michael I would lose Mikey as my friend. That made me very sad.
It was hard to choose between them, yet I knew that Michael was the man I loved and I could not just let him go. He made it clear to me we belonged together and he truly loved me. I hoped eventually Mikey would see how much we loved each other and forgive me.
I knew I was in denial. I would never be friends with the person that was fucking my father.
Hell no!
Yet I knew Mikey had seen me at my lowest. He saw me whining and whimpering and picking my battered and bruised self off the floor after Timothy.
I knew he wanted me to be happy and I was hoping for a chance the happiness his father brought me would be enough. That is the only thing that made me feel a little better about this decision.
My decision to choose Michael.
I pulled into the parking lot of a Mom and Pop diner that according to Michael has really good food. He insisted we come here. It was pretty far and I was wondering why he picked this place.
I walked in and I immediately spotted Michael sitting in the booth in the back by all the windows. He waved me over and I made my way over to him.
Boy, did he look good.
He was just in a causal black t-shirt and blue jeans, but it looked so rugged and sexy. He stood and we embraced before I slid into the booth across from him.
He smiled.
“You look beautiful today.”
He was smiling but there was something hidden in his eyes. He didn’t seem as happy as he tried to make it appear.
“Thank you, baby.”
I took a look around. The diner looked like it was plucked right out of some old school movie. The server brought water over to our table and handed us menus. She smiled a very bright smile at Michael as if she knew him.
“Let me know when you are ready to order.”
“Thanks Sarah,” he said returning her smile.
I glared at my menu absentmindedly. I believed this girl was flirting with him. I admit after all this mess I had been through, I was jealous. I knew Michael slept with other women. I was thinking she might be one of the others.
The green-eyed monster started to invade my spirit.
The server returned quickly.
I was convinced he slept with her.
“Sarah, I would like to introduce you to Maxine. Maxine this is Sarah.”
The blonde server smiled.
“How are you Maxine?” She said.
“Fine,” I mumbled looking at the menu.
“Are you ready to order?” She asked enthusiastically.
Michael looked at me.
“Are you ready?” He asked me calmly.
“Yes.”
I turned to the blonde.
“I will have a cheeseburger and fries with a diet cola.” I said practically throwing the menu at her.
“I’ll have the same, but with a regular cola.” Michael said staring at me.
The server took our menus and walked to the counter. I could tell I made her angry.
Like I gave a fuck!
I looked up to find Michael staring at me.
“What’s the matter?” He asked worriedly.
“So, what is your relationship with the blonde?” I inquired leaning in my seat.
He smiled.
“Well, my crew and I spent a lot of time with her while we remodeled this place.”
“Really? You all spent a lot of time. The whole crew?” I asked nonchalantly.
He laughed a big belly laugh.
“Funny.” He said clearly amused.
I ignored him and looked around the diner. I saw the blonde waiting on another table.
“My dear, trust me. She belongs to someone else.”
“So do you, yet you are here with me.”
His eyes clouded over at my statement.
“You’re right.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. I could tell he was upset and it was really starting to show.
I reached across the table and placed my hand on his.
“Let’s go somewhere so we can be alone.” I said lowering my voice. “I want to suck your dick so bad.”
I reached my foot under the table to rub against his dick which happened to be rock hard. I was hoping it was for me and not the server.
He grabbed my foot and removed it.
“Maxine, stop it.”
I wasn’t going to give up that easy.
“Come on Michael. It has been a couple of weeks. I really need to fuck you. I want to feel you inside of me.”
Normally he would enjoy hearing me talk like this but today…it looked like he wasn’t feeling it.
“Michael what’s the matter?” I asked
“We need to talk.”
“What’s wrong? You seem tense.”
“I just have a few things to say and I am not sure how to say it.”
The server brought us our drinks. Michael moved reaching for his soda taking a huge gulp from his glass rendering it half empty. I toke a sip of mine.
He leaned pressing his body firmly against the back of the booth.
“Look Michael, I have something to tell you too” I said leaning my elbow onto the table and resting my head in my hand.
He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it.
“How about I go first?” I volunteered.
I leaned in across the table.
“Michael I love you and I am ready for us to be together.”
He looked shocked. I kind of knew he would be, but he didn’t look happy.
“You do?” He asked looking surprised and skeptical.
“Ok, I know that in the beginning I was hesitant about starting up a relationship but…”
“You wanted to just fuck. Now you tell me you me you want a relationship. I used to want that.” He interrupted.
“Right and so…” I stopped.
Did he just say that was what he used to want? I leaned back in my seat.
I think he realized I was catching on because he sighed.
“Michael what is it you want to tell me?” I asked.
I was starting to believe I didn’t want to hear it.
He hesitated and I could tell he was not sure how to say what he wanted to say.
At that moment, the blonde brought our burgers and fries. She sat them down with a plop and then walked away without a word. Michael didn’t touch his food. He ran his fingers through his hair and then folded his arms across his chest.
“What’s on your mind?” I pushed.
Instantly the food did not look appetizing anymore. My head started to pound waiting on Michael to talk to me.
He sighed.
“I know that you had lunch with my wife.” He answered.
I figured he knew as much. How could she resist the urge to tell him?
“And?” I said taking another sip of soda.
“And I know what she offered you.”
I glared at him. I was curious to know what he thought about the offer. Did he think it was a good idea?
“And?”
“And…” he continued. “I know that you would not accept an offer like that.”
I raised my left eyebrow. He chuckled.
“I know,” he said lifting his glass and finishing his drink.
“Maxine,” he started “I really deeply care about you. You are smart, beautiful and an intelligent woman.”
I knew what was coming. He asked me to lunch to call off our affair. My heart started to ache instantly. I felt my throat closing up.
“Maxine,” he began.
“Michael,” I said cutting him off. “Are you dumping me?”
I tried to swallow the knot that was forming in my throat.
“I know how I feel about you Michael, how we feel about each other. Why are you breaking up with me?”
He froze. For a second I could have sworn he stopped brea
thing. Not the reaction I was looking for or expected. He looked to be...sad?
“After the crazy measures my wife took to keep me around, I think I owe her another chance to work it out.” He murmured softly.
Now it was my turn to be confused and bewildered. I was shocked. I felt my eyes widening. I knew he noticed because he just stared and waited for me to speak. I wasn’t sure what to say let alone if I heard what I think I heard.
Unfortunately when the words came to me…I had no filter.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Son of a bitch! You made it clear to me that I was the one you wanted and now all of a sudden I’m nothing? Are you fucking serious?”
I was angry. I was angry with Michael and I was angry with myself.
He looked upset yet in deep thought at the same time. I took a sip of my drink as he leaned back in his seat.
“Cara mia, I do care about you. I am so sorry to do this but I love my wife” He stopped to gather his thoughts.
He paused and reached for his drink. Noticing it was all gone, he sat the glass back down.
“My wife has expressed to me that she loves me too and she is willing to go back to therapy. Maxine I am so sorry.”
That bitch! She doesn’t love him. She could barely say the words to me. I could feel the tears building up in my eyes.
He sighed.
“Maxine, please sweetheart, don’t cry. I never meant to make you cry. I just think that this decision would be best for us.”
He reached across the table grabbing my hand.
“A relationship between the two of us would end up hurting us and the people we love. I don’t want that.”
“She does not love you Michael.”
He looked annoyed.
“She told me she loved me and I believe that she does.”
The server came back to the table and saw we hadn’t touched any of our food.
“Would you guys like a to-go box or something?”
“No!” We both said in unison.
The server grabbed the plates and removed them from the table.
I leaned in across the table.
“Michael, are you blind?” I began. “When I met with her that day I asked her multiple times did she love you and she couldn’t even say the words. Not one time. You are crazy if you think it will work this time.”
His green eyes flashed and his lips are tight and tense.
“Maxine look, I owe it to my wife to leave all the affairs behind and focus on my relationship with her. I need to leave the indiscretions in the past.”
I think he is referring to me. I looked up and found him staring at me. The server came back to the table with the check.
“You can’t just stop loving me just as much as I couldn’t stop myself from loving you.”
He leaned back in his seat. His eyes went dark.
“Maxine, my darling, I cannot lie and say what I feel for you is gone. However, I can say that I still love my wife and cannot just throw away 25 years without giving it one last try.”
The blonde waitress returned to our table and Michael handed her his credit card.
“I will be right back with this Mike.” She said and made a mad dash to the cashier station.
I grabbed my purse and violently slid from the booth. I power walked all the way to the door. I knew that I was close to sobbing and I didn’t want him to see me shed anymore tears.
“Maxine, wait!” I heard him yell.
I kept moving hoping I could get to my car and out the parking lot before he caught me. I was so angry with myself for this situation. It probably costed me my two best friends and I end up with nothing.
I opened my car door and felt a hand on my back. I turned to him. He did not move.
“What do you want from me?” I asked.
“Maxine, my dear, I do not want anything from you. I just don’t want to end things this way. I cannot leave you while you are this upset with me.” He said quietly standing so close I could smell the remnants of his drink on his breath.
His hand came to my face and softly caressed my cheek.
I was lost.
I couldn’t help it. I started to cry.
He pulled me into his arms and held me. I couldn’t let him do that. I didn’t want to smell him. I didn’t need to be so close to his erection.
I pulled away and climbed into the car. I left him standing there as I pulled out of the parking lot.
The whole drive to my apartment I thought I was going to crash. It was hard trying to drive and see through my tears. I couldn’t control the sobs that wrecked my body and heart. After driving for about ten minutes, I noticed in my rearview mirror that Michael was following me.
Oh brother! Just what I needed. I was in no shape to continue talking to him.
I arrived at my apartment complex with Michael pulling into the spot right beside me.
I exited the car and he followed me to my apartment door. I tried to get inside without him, but he managed to catch the door and walked right in behind me.
“Michael why are you here? Normally when you dump somebody you leave them the fuck alone.”
I plopped down on the couch and folded my arms across my chest. He sat down next to me and placed his hand on my knee.
“You were so upset I just wanted to make sure you got home safely.”
“Well, I’m home safe. Get the fuck out!”
He sighed.
That is not why he followed me home. I knew what he wanted and I knew I was not going to give him that.
He wasn’t going to get a goodbye fuck from me!
“Michael,” I began to say.
He stopped me with his hand. He grabbed my hand and held on tight.
“Maxine, I care about you deeply, but I know that a relationship with you in our situation would be a huge mistake.”
I sighed.
He stopped and looked at me so tenderly. I wanted to cry. I didn’t know what to do.
“I fucking hate you right now.” I stated bluntly.
His eyes narrowed and he looked at me intensely.
“You don’t hate me and I don’t hate you.”
He was right I didn’t hate him. I was so angry I was spitting venom.
“So you are telling me you are in love her? Have you thought this through?”
“I have thought about nothing but this since the day I met you. I thought I could, but I can’t leave my wife?” He declared.
“You guys must be fucking again.” I mumbled under my breath.
He heard me and stood.
“I think I should leave.”
I stood also and walked toward the door. I was barely holding it together.
“Fine, leave!” I yelled out angrily.
I was thinking about my life without Michael and I did not think I could recover.
We stood face to face. Well, more like face to chest. He sighed and reached for me, pulling me into his arms.
“Michael, please don’t do this. Don’t do this to me!” I cried.
He began to stroke my back.
“I have never felt more vulnerable in my life as I do right now. I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you.” He said.
I heard a slight tremble in his voice.
My body went limp in his arms and I felt him pull me closer. His head dropped down and he placed a soft kiss on my head. Feeling his arms around me brought forth a new wave of emotions. I just wanted him to hold me like this forever.
I needed him to hold me.
“Michael, why are you breaking my heart?” I whispered.
I felt him squeeze me tighter.
“I’m so sorry.” He said.
I could feel him move a little and slowly he placed his hand on my chin lifting my gaze to meet his beautiful green eyes. It was difficult for me to look into them. I saw sadness mixed with unadulterated lust.
Prohibited: an erotic novel Page 20
