Before I could think or react, his lips were moving hard and strong against mine. I felt a warm sensation all over.
I realized he wanted me; he just didn’t want to be with me. Maybe he intended to have his cake and eat it too. Maybe I was just a fantasy for him and he never intended to leave his wife.
I bet that is how he got all those other women as well. I called it! I just could not believe that I still fell for it. This asshole!
I felt like I did when I was with Timothy, stupid and naïve. I never wanted to feel that way again.
Slowly I brought my hands to his chest and used that leverage to push off him. I took a few steps back. He was taken aback for a minute, but he quickly recovered and came toward me.
By this time, there were tears running down my cheeks and I couldn’t stop them.
“You son of a bitch!” I screamed.
“You just used me. You never intended to leave her did you?”
I grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at him. He dodged it and came towards me.
Without warning, he grabbed me and threw me on the couch. We kissed and I could feel his hand slowly pulling up my skirt and finding my wetness. We began to rip each other’s clothes off.
I could not explain it. The conflict and the pain got us both in the mood.
He ripped my panties in his urgent need to get to me. I was a wreck but I could not get the nerve to stop him. I needed to feel his touch.
He was naked from the waist down in a flash and filling me before I could blink.
We made love on my couch and the entire time tears were falling from my eyes. It was quick and fast and animalistic.
I came. My body went numb with intense pleasure.
He came hard and I was sure my neighbors could hear his load moans.
When we were done, I moved from the couch and adjusted my clothes. We had sex for the last time. It was official, I was a fucking idiot. He came and got what he wanted after all.
My pride, however, would not let him see me cry anymore.
I walked to the door and opened it. I stood holding the door. Slowly he walked past me. He reached up and wiped the tears from my face. He started to caress my cheek.
I moved his hand.
“You just won’t quit! Leave me the fuck alone you asshole!” I yelled in between my sobs.
He sighed.
“Okay.”
I looked away from him with tears still pouring down my face.
“Maxine, just know that I really do care about you.” He said.
I didn’t budge. I stood holding open the door.
He walked out and headed toward his car.
I slammed the door shut and collapsed into sobs.
Maria
I lay quietly on my bed. I felt worn-out and pathetic. My phone kept ringing but I did not want to answer.
It could be my friends, my kids, my husband or Selena!
I couldn’t deal with anyone now. Not now!
I’m a mess.
It is bizarre the moment you let go. The moment you become conscious it can’t be saved and you cannot hide from it anymore. Your world is being thrown upside down and you are powerless to stop the tornado that has ripped through and destroyed everything.
I really care about Michael. I just didn’t know how much longer I could fake it. I’m no longer in love with him. I have not loved him for some time now.
Having sex with him every night was driving me crazy. I was grateful he was not home. I wouldn’t be able to fake it today.
Yet, I owed it to my parents and my children to make this work. My mother always told me that my job was to sacrifice myself for my family. I have sacrificed all that I could to make everyone happy and…I am miserable.
Why am I crying? I cried because I am responsible for all this. The dishonest life that I have lived for so long has finally come to haunt me and I do not think I can cope.
Grabbing another tissue from my side table, I blew my nose and plopped down on my pillow. At that moment my cell phone rang. I reached over and grabbed it. The name Selena flashed across the display on the phone. I set the phone back onto the table.
Sigh.
My mother was wrong. I should have been honest with myself from the beginning. From the moment she caught me kissing my best friend Ana when I was fourteen to the day she talked me into marrying Michael.
I never wanted a man. I never needed a man. My mother told me my worth was based on the reputation and status of my family. Coming from a very poor, traditional Sicilian family, being a lesbian was not an option. It was my job to marry a man who could not only give me a better life but also to bring my family prestige.
I accomplished that, but what did it bring me?
A failed life and marriage.
I never had a chance to be myself. I blew my nose again and placed the soiled tissue on my nightstand.
The phone was ringing again.
I reached for it and looked at the display screen. It’s Selena. I returned it to my nightstand and ignored it. I rolled over and tried to sleep. I needed sleep right now. I thought maybe if I slept I wouldn’t have to think of all the hurt and discord I have caused. For a few hours I could forget everything.
There was a knock at the door. I didn’t answer. I just laid there and hoped they would just go away. There was another knock at the door and then I heard the door gradually swing open.
“Please go away.”
I heard the footsteps and then felt the pressure of someone sitting down on the bed next to me. I pretended to be asleep.
“Maria, sweetheart.”
At the sound of her voice I opened my eyes. She positioned her hand on my thigh and began to caress it.
“Are you awake?”
A chill went through my body and I rolled over coming face to face with Selena.
“My dear, you look a mess.” She said smiling.
I was in no mood to smile back. I sat up leaning against the headboard of the bed. I pushed my dark hair behind my ear. I was pleased to see her, but I didn’t want to feel that way. I thought I wanted to be alone, but when I saw her smile at me I started to feel a tiny bit better.
“I know.” I said.
She climbed onto Michael’s side of the bed next to me and leaned against the headboard.
“Why have you been avoiding me again?” She asked softly.
I turned to look at her.
“I haven’t been avoiding you.” I lied.
She reached over me and reached for my phone. Just feeling her body against mine sent shivers down my spine. She searched through my phone.
“I called you several times and you refuse to call me back or just answer the phone.” She accused tossing my phone to the end of the bed.
I was avoiding her because I knew seeing her would remind me how much I wanted to be with her. Avoiding her was so hard for me. Yet I knew the success of my marriage depended on not having her in my life.
She is here so I guess it is a sign that I have to stop running from who I am. How do I do that without alienating my family I thought.
“Well if you answered your phone I could have told you I bought you a ticket to London.” She said with a huge smile on her face.
I was stunned.
“Why would you that?” I inquired.
She rolled onto her side and placed her hand on my thigh. She began to caress it and trail her fingers up and down my leg. I was praying that her hands would travel higher. My clit was throbbing.
“Well, I know that you and Michael are close to calling it quits.” She began while continuing to caress my leg.
“And I thought it would give us time to be together and explore our options.”
It sounded magnificent. I would love some time alone to explore with Selena. It seemed incredible, but there was a problem. Michael and I are not calling it quits. In fact, I told him I loved him and he was under the impression we will go on to live happily ever after.
Selena does not know t
his.
Once Michael and I made the decision to stay together, I never bothered to tell her. I also never told him about my affair with her.
“Selena I can’t go to London with you?”
She stopped rubbing my leg.
“Why not? I know you aren’t still denying the attraction we have for each other?”
I rolled on my side to face her.
“Michael and I are going back to therapy.”
She raised one perfectly arched eyebrow.
“What are you trying to say?” She interrupted.
“Are you saying you are staying with Michael?”
“Yes,” I answered.
All of a sudden, she began to laugh. Her laugh, normally beautiful, was now sending chills up my spine. She continued to laugh. She laughed so hard her eyes filled with tears.
“Why is this so funny?” I asked becoming quite annoyed.
“I’m so sorry.” She apologized trying to compose herself.
“It’s just so hilarious to think that it will work between you two.”
I didn’t know whether to agree with her or defend my marriage. The thought of defending my marriage sounded ludicrous. It sounded foolish even to me.
“Well, all we can do is try, Selena.”
She reached up and began to caress my face.
“Well, honey what are you going to work on? He has been sleeping around like crazy and after our little encounter you can’t completely say you’re innocent.”
“I know, but we have a chance to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. I’m willing to try.”
She shook her head.
“You do not need to try with him. You need to get away from him. Not only has he been sleeping with other women, but rumor has it he has been sleeping with Shannon.”
I was dumbfounded. It made sense. She was always fawning over Michael; I just never thought he would stoop so low as to sleep with one of my friends.
I was starting to get more and more depressed. She was right. Our marriage was a sham. How can we work this out when we are a mess together?
I just started to cry.
I sobbed and sobbed.
I knew I have been unhappy for a long time. It has been so long I have forgotten how to be happy.
She pulled me to her. I cried and cried. I just wanted to let go. I moved out of her warm embrace.
She looked at me and smiled.
“It will be ok Maria. I know how you feel.”
I wiped tears from my eyes.
“How am I supposed to do this?” I cried.
She began to stroke my hair, looking me in the eyes.
“Sweetie it took a while, but I realized I had to live my life and not run away from it. I understand you have two children, but it is difficult for them to be happy if Mommy and Daddy are not. In order for you to be the best mother you can be you have to be content with yourself and your life. Be yourself, no matter what. Even though your family may shun you at first, your children will always love you.”
After hearing her words, I started to cry harder.
“How will I ever have the strength and courage to face my family and friends?”
“I thought about that as well. It will take a while, but fences can be mended. Believe me, I know.”
I calmed down some and wiped my tears from my eyes.
I stared at her. There was something about this woman. I leaned up and placed my lips on hers. She fell right into it wrapping her fingers into my hair. Her kiss was passionate and tasted like sweet strawberries. I wrapped my arms around her neck and continued to let my tongue play with hers.
Abruptly she pulled back and I felt like I could finally take a breath.
“Maria you need to be honest with yourself. That is all that matters and staying with Michael is a step in the wrong direction.”
I plopped on the bed and just laid there spread eagle.
“What do I do with Michael? I told him I was willing and ready to work it out.”
She laidnjgf6s on the bed next to me with her head propped up in her hand.
“You just have to tell him you’ve decided this marriage is over. You now know staying in this marriage with him is the wrong decision. He deserves nothing more after what he has put you through.”
“After all,” she said gliding her hands across my stomach. “Didn’t he try to divorce you last month? Hasn’t he been sleeping around for years? He may feel like his cheating was justified, but honestly what he did is far worse than anything you could have done.”
I sat up from my reclined position.
“You’re right. I don’t owe him anything.”
“No you don’t”
She pushed me down on the bed and positioned her body on top of mine. We kissed.
“Maria, I have wanted you for so long.” She said kissing me on the neck.
“Come to London with me.”
Her fingers snaked up my shirt and under my bra.
“Tell me you’re coming with me.” She demanded grabbing a hold of my breast and squeezing my nipple.
I could barely think. At that moment she moved her hand down my stomach and to my pants. She quickly, with one hand, undid the clasp.
I moaned as her fingers found my wetness.
“Say it Maria.”
“Say what?” I asked lost in my bliss.
“Say you will come to London with me.”
Her fingers were moving so fast and my orgasm was building. I could feel it close.
“Oh I’m coming” I moaned.
“I knew you would come with me.” She said working her fingers even faster.
“No, I’m coming.”
She laughed and started to work my clit with full force. Before I knew what hit me, I came hard all over her hand. She smiled and released her hand from my pants.
She positioned herself on top of me and we began to kiss. I kissed her hungrily. I desperately needed to be satisfied and Selena was able to give me that.
I wanted to return the favor. I wanted to pleasure her. I thought about it nonstop since our last encounter and knew that I could not pass up the opportunity.
“Get on your back.” I told her softly and gently.
She smiled, but she didn’t hesitate. I think she believed if she did I would change my mind.
Once she was on her back, I got on top of her and kissed her softly on the lips. She pulled me close and we continued to kiss, rolling our tongues around each others.
Straddling her, I took off my shirt exposing my olive colored skin and my red laced bra.
“You are so beautiful.” She said smiling up at me.
I smiled back and leaned down for another kiss.
I proceeded to undo the button on her jeans and pulled them down her beautifully lean and pale legs. I was shocked and aroused to see she was not wearing any panties.
“You’re not wearing panties.” I remarked.
She chuckled lightly.
“It just makes me feel so sexy all day knowing that I am not wearing panties and no one knows. Does it turn you on to look at my dripping pussy?”
I licked my dry lips and nodded.
She aided me in pulling her pants passed her ankles. I tossed them to the floor and brought my attention back to her.
She responded by parting her legs exposing her beautiful pussy to me. It was oozing and I felt mine soaking my panties just looking at her.
She parted her juicy labia lips with her delicate fingers and gently slid two into her dripping hole. She dipped in and out watching the anticipation on my face.
“You want to taste me?” she asked.
I nodded.
She pulled out her fingers and dangled them in my face.
I bent down slowly and wrapped my mouth around her fingers. Her taste was divine. It was sweet and tangy. I sucked on her fingers feverishly.
She laughed.
“Sweetie, there is more where that came from.”
I released her them and returned my attenti
on to her pink and pale pussy.
Prohibited: an erotic novel Page 21
