by Nancy Hopper
Tasha found Tim a few minutes later in the kitchen, with Lucinda. Lucinda was weeping into a hanky and Tim was bent over her, with a hand on her shoulder.
“What’s wrong?” Tasha asked worriedly.
“Oh, glory to God in the highest! Oh, glory to God, nothing is wrong!” Lucinda cried. “Everything is … it is just perfect!”
Tasha looked at Tim, who shrugged. “She asked me if I could help make Jesus real to her. I just prayed, that’s all.”
Tasha rolled her eyes, and turned away.
“Scares you half to death, doesn’t it?” he asked in her ear. “Better get going, shall we?” His low voice and his hand on her back did nothing to ease her discomfort.
Tasha expelled a harsh sigh and followed him toward the garage. She didn’t talk to him all the way to the Cedars, and shifted gears almost violently as she drove. At one time, she started to skid, and Tim covered his eyes with a hand and tried to stifle his smile.
“Stop it.” she snapped.
“Sorry.” he said immediately, trying to sound sincere.
She pulled up at the front entrance to the Cedars and let the car idle.
“Just like that, huh?” he asked evenly.
“Just like that.” she agreed coldly.
“Thanks for everything.” Tim said. He put a warm hand on her upper arm. “See ya.”
Tasha pressed her lips together and lifted her chin. “Bye.” she said tightly.
She sped away from the hotel and started back down the mountain. The further she went, the more agitated she became.
She had to go back. God, she didn’t want to! But she’d been so rude, without reason. Tim didn’t deserve that, he hadn’t done anything wrong!
Finally, her heart was so convicted that she had to turn around. It wasn’t right that he had to go into a time of ministry so tired and distraught; and just look at how she’d left him, with everything on such a tense note. Cursing, she spun the Bronco around and went back.
She went into the Cedars lobby and down the stairs, to where the convention lobby was. “Can I help you?” a man asked.
“I want to see Tim Rain.” she said resolutely.
“Don’t everybody? Sorry, lady, there’s a service going on.”
Tasha was astounded. She had never considered that she wouldn’t be able to get to him. “I ... I know. But you see, I’m a friend. I want to join him. I drove him up here, he had dinner at my house, and I’ve changed my mind.”
The man lifted an eyebrow. “Tell you what. I’ll go see if I can find him. And if he says you’re in, then you’re in. But if your story don't match his, ma'am, you can't go in. We're filled up, and then some.”
“Thank you.” Tasha sighed.
“What’s your name?”
“Tasha.” she snapped.
“Okay, Tasha, you just hang out here, and I’ll be back in a minute. Better yet, let me see if I can get Bud on the line.” He pulled out a walkie-talkie and spoke into it. “Bud? You see Tim Rain in there? Well, ask him if he’s got room for a Tasha. She says she’s his friend and she’s changed her mind ... All right.”
The man looked her over, and smiled. “We’ll see what he says, then.”
“Thank you.” Tasha answered.
“Hey, Dolan. Mr. Rain says for her to come on down.” a scratchy voice came over the walkie-talkie. "She's on the list."
“All right, then. Sorry, I didn’t think to check that. Come and get her, would ya, Bud?”
“Sure thing.” the voice said.
And so, Bud led her down through the throngs of people to the front, where the speakers were seated. All around them, people were singing, shouting, dancing and bringing praises before God.
The music was loud. Tasha forced herself to walk tall and not cringe at the wall of sound coming at them. Then, she was next to Tim.
He turned at Bud’s tap on his shoulder, and looked at Tasha. Then his arm was drawing her in, and he smiled down at her. She was being sucked into his warmth, enveloped in love. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his crinkled, smiling ones.
Her heart started pounding. He was wooing her, and she was responding. She couldn’t help it. He looked at her mouth, and she felt her heart leap. But he wouldn’t kiss her here – he wouldn’t dare – would he?
She was off balance; and if they’d been alone, Tasha knew that Tim would have pressed his advantage. And there would have been no resistance.
She reached up on her toes, her hands against his shoulders, to speak into his ear. “Tim, I’m sorry. I was so rude. I had to come back and apologize. You just seem to bring it out in me.” she said. Her eyes were wide and almost fearful, he noticed.
He chuckled, and hugged her tightly. “That’s all right, darlin’. I can see how it is for you.” he assured her. “Just don’t expect me to run off with my tail between my legs.” he warned with a grin. “I’m not that kind.”
She looked up at him suspiciously, and his eyes glittered back at her. He was actually enjoying the challenge, a bit. He kissed her cheek, threatening to drown her in the sweetness of it, and then held her against him, tightly.
Tasha was sure that her cheeks were burning. They were surrounded by people. Surely a million people had seen what he'd done! He put her in front of him. His arms were around her, and her back was against him. He put his chin on her head and she heard -- no, more than that, she felt him chuckle.
This time, Tim didn’t fall during worship like a dead man. Some of the time, he joined in and shouted. Sometimes, he just soaked it in. Then, he sang from his heart in a way that Tasha found incredibly beautiful; intimate, and sweet. But, his arms stayed solidly around her. He wasn’t going to let her have any distance from him, at all.
Then, his lips were next to her ear. She could feel his body against her back. “Tasha, there’s something I have to tell you. I didn’t want to; but I have to, now. You need to know. You know the portrait of your husband that hangs in your room?”
Her shoulders stiffened, and she silently nodded.
“Well; I saw it today when I used your spa. Honey, this is kind of hard. You see, I knew Gary.”
Tasha swiveled in his arms, and stared at him in horrified fascination.
He just shrugged, and looked at her sadly. “When I walked through your room today, and saw my buddy staring out from that photo at me, and you in his arms … and then to realize that he’s … gone home to be with the Lord; especially, that way. It was kind of a shock for me. I had to go through a few emotions, as I realized all those things at once.”
“How could you possibly have known him?” she gasped.
“We went through Bible College together. Matter of fact, we were extremely close friends. We shared a dorm room for a couple of years. We spent holidays together, at each other's house sometimes.”
Tasha covered her face with her hands. “I can’t believe it.” she sobbed.
Tim turned her against his breast, held her to him, and let her sob. She moaned, as the grief began to pour out of her heart. She was almost angry that the wound had been opened.
It hurt so badly! How carefully she’d shielded herself for so long! And now, just Tim’s few words had torn her defenses down to nothing. She felt like she was raw and bleeding inside.
And Tim just held her. And held her. And held her. It was confusing, and it made her angry to discover that she wanted and needed his comfort. It would have been unbearable if he’d taken his arms away, deprived her of his protection.
She clung to him in desperation, her long hair hiding her face from any curious eyes. Now, he shared her pain; even her loss of Gary! And she found to her chagrin, that she couldn’t see herself going through this alone, now that Tim knew about Gary. She held to Tim all the more, because now he was suffering, too.
Yet, it was equally terrifying to cling to him, to admit to herself that she needed him. She actually wanted his arms around her, in this moment.
Finally, she began to regain control of her emotions.
Tim just went on holding her, until at last she felt she could hold herself together, and sat down. With her face in her hands, no one could see. No one disturbed her. She did not know that several people approached, but Tim sent them scurrying on by, with just a look.
He sat down beside her, and held her hand until he was introduced, and had to go. He squeezed her hand, reluctantly let go, and walked up onto the stage. It got very quiet in the auditorium. Tim walked back and forth thoughtfully for a few moments.
Tasha wiped her eyes and looked over her fingers at him. She could feel intensity pouring off the stage, and knew his message was going to be an experience she wouldn’t forget.
Finally, he stopped pacing, and stood in the center of the stage. “My beloved.” he said in a whisper. “My beloved. Where are you? What are you doing? I told you ... if you love me, feed my sheep. If you love me, feed my sheep. You have to be the provision of God in this day. You have to be the answer to the needs in the world, all around you!”
“The harvest is rotting in the fields. Are you reaching out? Are you clothing and feeding the poor? Are you taking people into your hearts and blessing them? Are you reaching out to the lost? Are you teaching the children what the love of God is?”
"My beloved, how long before you begin to move? How long before you quit planning and bickering, and begin to act? How long before you take a simple step of faith and reach out your hand to someone standing next to you?”
“Did I not say, ‘greater works than these shall ye do’? You cannot do the greater works until you take that first step. Beloved, I come not to chasten, but to encourage. Not to whip, but to give you a vision – to refocus you. To remind you. What have I called you to do?"
Tim turned and walked to the other end of the stage. “We must begin to do the work of the gospel. Before every joint can supply, it must find its place. Before the blood of the Lord can flow through the body of Christ and empower it, we must be a body in unity.” he insisted.
“What are we doing? We’re still fighting about doctrines and gifts and we can’t even minister the love of God. For heaven’s sake, don’t break relationship with one another. Don’t get offended and hurt, don’t wound one another. He said that they will know us by our Love. But, Love hasn’t been our yardstick.” He sighed and looked across the auditorium. “It hasn’t even been in the equation much of the time.”
Tim urged the people to search their hearts, to rid themselves of wounds and offenses, to begin to seek God for the grace to love the unlovable, to love their enemies. And before he was done, he prophesied to them and had the entire house on their faces before the Lord.
It was so different than anything Tasha had ever seen before. Because it went so deep; because it was so real; and yet his final words were so encouraging:
“Seek your place. Seek your place. Find out what God made you to do, and do it. No one else can do what He's called you to do! Only you!"
"Seek your place. Find it now. And learn how to love the least. Learn how to love the unlovable. All you have to do, is see through His eyes. Seek vision from God, tap into His infinite love; and then minister His heart, His will to the people. And reach out beyond the walls of your church. Take His Love to the people who don't have it yet. Then you will have begun to obey the gospel.”
After the meeting, Tasha took Tim to the cafe in the Cedars. They sat for a long time without saying much. Tim had a cup of coffee, and she had a Black Russian. Then, she had another. And another. When she signaled the waiter for a fourth, Tim put a concerned hand on her arm.
“Tasha, honey ...” he protested worriedly.
“Listen to me, Timothy Rain.” she insisted tipsily. “I am my own woman! If I want to get dead drunk, I’ll get dead drunk. If you don’t like it, you can leave.”
He watched her with a very grim face. “I think I’d better stay, then.” he said evenly. He had no intention of letting her drive home.
Tim knew fully well that, as usual, people were watching. Pattie Danniels and a few other magazine reporters, curious people from the conference, and a number of locals.
The waiter seemed to know Tasha well, and gave her whatever she wanted. He wouldn’t let Tim pay for the drinks while Tasha was gone to the restroom.
“She said they were to go on her bill, sir. I’m sorry, but I can’t mess with Ms. Taylor.” he warned. “It’ll have to be her way.”
”So, does she get blitzed very often?” Tim asked wearily.
”Naw. She’s a class act. Never seen her have more than one, before.” the waiter laughed. “She must have had a real bad day.”
Tim raised an eyebrow and sighed unhappily.
When Tasha came back, Tim took her hands in his, and forcefully bundled her into her coat.
“What’re ya doin’?” she asked fuzzily.
“I’m taking you home.” he answered tersely.
“I’m not ready. And don’t think you can start managing me, I’ve got a big bottle out in my car.” she said quite loudly. “The biggest bottle they’ve got!”
Tim sighed heavily and waited while the waiter got her bill. When she had it taken care of, she allowed Tim to lead her out to her car. She took out her keys only to have them snatched from her fingers.
”Hey! Gimme those back.” she demanded.
”Fat chance, sweetheart. Get in.” Tim ordered evenly. He held the passenger door open, and she obeyed. Judging from the burning look he was giving her, he’d do whatever he had to do, to drive her home.
”I could do it fine.” she sniffed. Her dark gray satin skirt was swirled high up over her left thigh; her thin shoulder strap had fallen, and was limp on her bicep; and her cleavage was deep and inviting.
”I don’t care if you could, or not. I will.” he answered smoothly.
It was a quiet drive. Tasha produced her bottle from under the seat, and drank liberally. ”So.” she said lightly. “Are you over your silly idea that we’re supposed to get married?”
Tim gave her a dark look. “Is that why you’re doing this?” he asked tiredly.
”Well, it seems to be doing the trick.” she laughed. “I’m feeling no pain and you’re totally turned off. By Jove, that’s all right.” she sang in a slurred voice.
By the time he parked the car in her garage, she was out cold. She’d managed to drink a healthy amount of the whiskey. He hauled her out of the car, carried her up the steps and pushed open the door.
Lucinda met him in the hallway with a gasp. “Mr. Timothy, what has happened?” she asked fearfully.
“She’s drunk.” he said, sounding almost angry. “Get the doors for me, will you, Lucinda?”
“I can’t believe it! She doesn’t drink! Not more than the occasional one.” Lucinda exclaimed. She closed the automatic garage door and then led him to the stairs. “Just follow me.”
Her room was feminine, but with substance. Her carpets were dark green, her bedding, a combination of a cool purple, ivory and forest green. Her bed was of brass, and she had Ivory lace overlays on some of her pillows.
He laid her down gently on the bed, and walked out of the room without looking at her, even once. Lucinda worriedly followed him.
“Mr. Tim, how are you to get back to your hotel?” Lucinda asked worriedly.
“I don’t know. I guess I’ll call a cab.” he answered shortly.
“Why ... why don’t you stay here again?” Lucinda offered hesitantly. “Mr. Brent is home. He has already retired, but I know it is what he would want. He will be grateful to you for looking after Miss Tasha.”
“Who?” Tim asked tersely.
“Mr. Brent, her father.” Lucinda explained worriedly.
Tim sighed. “It is rather late. I guess it’s okay with me, if it’s okay with you.”
Lucinda smiled nervously. “Please. I will extend the invitation, even if it is not my place.”
She showed him to the guest room that was decorated in royal blue and turquoise. Tim found it most pleasant, and wasn't sorry to be us
ing it again. He washed his face and fell into bed. He lost no time getting to sleep. He was exceedingly tired.
Tim awoke early. He spent a couple of hours in prayer, then went downstairs. He found a man there, drinking coffee at the kitchen table. The man looked up at him with considerable surprise.
“You must be Tasha’s father.” Tim said evenly. He held his hand out to Brent Charles. “I’m Tim Rain.”
Brent looked at him critically. “You’re a friend of Tasha’s?”
Tim thought that one over. “More or less.” he said. “I brought her home last night, and Lucinda decided I should stay.”
Brent raised an eyebrow. “Have some coffee.” he offered.
“Do you have tea?” Tim asked with a yawn.
“I’m not sure. See what Lucinda’s got in the cupboard.” he offered.
Tim made his tea, and joined Brent at the table.
“Want part of the paper?” Brent offered amiably.
“No, thanks.” Tim said. He stirred his Peppermint Tea with a furrowed brow.
“You don’t look too happy. That doesn't bode well, first thing in the morning.” Brent commented wryly.
Tim shrugged and grinned. “Sorry.” he said. He looked thoughtfully at the man with black hair and green eyes, so like Tasha's. He could definitely see the resemblance. He had a certain something about him, that Tim recognized in Tasha, too. It made him feel that he knew this man, already.
“Bad night?” Brent pried.
Tim shrugged. “Tasha got drunk. Just disappointed, I guess.”
Brent sat forward, and looked at Tim as if he’d grown another head. “My daughter tied one on?” he asked incredulously. Then, he burst out laughing. “You must scare the hell out of her! Who are you?” Brent insisted.
Tim shrugged. “Just a visitor from Wyoming. I think you could safely bet that I scare the hell out of her. You're quite accurate about that.”
