A New Day
Page 34
Ingrid looked embarrassed. “Alive?”
“Yes. He died on the cross, and then rose from the dead, with all power. He sent the Holy Spirit in fire and power, to abide in us. He lives in those who love Him, so we can become like Him.”
Ingrid looked shocked and puzzled. “You believe all that, that he’s not dead?”
Tim looked with steady compassion into her eyes. “He is not dead. He is alive and has appeared to me and many others. He speaks to me daily. He lives inside me.”
Ingrid gasped. “How do you know you’re not crazy? How do you know he came back from the dead?
Tim smiled at her. “I’m not crazy. I’m very sane. I know, because I know His Presence. I know His voice, I know His breath. I know His Holy Spirit. I know when He is near. I can feel His power and His love.”
“And I know He came back from the dead because of the things that took place. The day that He died, the veil in the temple in Jerusalem was rent from top to bottom. It took forty men to hang that curtain. It would have been impossible for any man or men to rend it in seconds, that way.”
"There were also massive earthquakes; and the guards placed before His tomb fell like dead men. They were paid not to tell anyone what had happened to them. And then, He rose from the dead and appeared to many, for forty days.”
"But more than anything, I know because I know Him today. I’ve lived my life seeking Him, building a relationship with Him. Listening to Him, and doing the things He asks me to do.”
“Wow.” she said uncertainly. “So how do you feel him? I mean, how did he start talking to you and all that?”
Tim sat up. “You just have to give Him a chance. You just have to be willing to believe that He is, who He is. You just ask Him, and He does the rest.”
Ingrid looked at him uncertainly. She began to blush.
“Close your eyes, Ingrid.” he commanded gently. To Tasha’s amazement, she did.
Timothy prayed for her, and tears started flowing down Ingrid’s cheeks. He prayed that Jesus would touch her. He prayed that He would forgive her sins. He prayed that Jesus would reveal Himself to her; that she would know Him, and serve Him, and love Him all her life. He asked that she never be the same again, after this night.
Then, he put a hand on her shoulder. “You have to ask Him now, Ingrid. Just ask Him to come into your heart. Ask Him to be your Lord, and tell Him you believe that He is the son of God, and that he rose from the dead. That’s all you have to do.”
Ingrid squeezed her eyes shut tightly, and bit back a sob. “I do believe it. I always wanted to.”
“Just say, Come in, Lord Jesus.” Tim urged her softly.
“Come in, Lord Jesus.” she whispered.
“Forgive me, Lord. I repent for my sins.” he instructed. Tasha thought she was dreaming as Ingrid followed his lead. Anybody but Ingrid!
Timothy laid his hands on her head, and prayed that Jesus would be Lord over her life. He prayed protection over her, and asked the Lord to lead her to a place of worship, where she could have fellowship with others in the Body of Christ.
Then, he started to really read her personal mail. He started telling Ingrid all about Ingrid. He told her about the wounded areas of her heart that the Lord wanted to heal. He told her about her broken marriage to Keith, that the Lord planned to restore.
She began to cry, very hard. Tim leaned forward and put an arm around her. He looked up at Tasha and beckoned her with his eyes to come and help him. She just stood there with her arms folded, and looked at him.
“I can’t.” she whispered.
He stared at her for a long moment, then he looked at Ingrid. “I have a friend here in Salt Lake you can call. If you don’t like his church, he will help you find another one. Here’s his card. Don’t wait, Ingrid. Call him tonight, or in the morning. Don’t let anything stand between you, and getting yourself established with the Lord.”
She nodded, and cried against his shoulder.
“He’s just healing your heart; don’t be afraid. He’s taking out the hurts, and cleaning out the past wrongs. Just let Him do His work.” he advised gently.
“Every morning, start your day talking to Him. Praise Him and thank Him for what He’s done, Ingrid. Ask Him daily to send you the Holy Spirit to lead you, and get yourself linked with other Christians. Right away.”
Ingrid nodded, and looked up at Tasha. “Are you ...?” she asked incredulously.
Tasha looked exceedingly uncomfortable. “Oh. I was once. But not really, now.” she stammered. She could feel Tim’s eyes on her. “I was when I was married to Gary, but not so much anymore.”
“How could you have been, and now not be?” Ingrid asked wonderingly. “How could you feel Him inside you, have Him touch you, and then ...” She began to cry again. She was just feeling it very keenly.
“It’ll be all right, Ingrid. Don’t worry about Tasha right now. Just concentrate on giving yourself to Him.” Tim advised softly.
Ingrid was there for a long time. Tasha finally went to her room and left them there alone, but she kept the door open from her room to the deck. She knew it wasn’t good to leave Tim alone with Ingrid, for his reputation’s sake. But, she just couldn’t take it anymore! It was physically painful for her to be there with him, to watch him touching Ingrid’s life. The power he had, frightened her.
Finally, she heard Tim walk Ingrid down the outer stairs, to her car. She heard his footsteps come up the inside stairs, and down the hall to his room. His door shut behind him.
Tasha was acutely disappointed that he didn’t even come to say goodnight. Lucinda noticed the pout of her lower lip and the crease in her forehead when she took Tasha’s evening tea to her, in her room.
“What’s the matter, darling?” she asked gently.
“Did you see what he did out there?” she snapped incredulously.
“No, darling. What do you mean?”
“He ... he converted her! I can’t believe it! I thought Ingrid would be the last person on earth who'd ever believe.”
Lucinda clucked her tongue against her teeth. “Well, she needed it, I say. Good for Mr. Timothy.”
“He didn’t even notice when I left.” Tasha hissed.
Lucinda gave a low laugh. “He noticed. There’s nothing you do that Mr. Timothy doesn’t notice. He just had a job to do. You’re not so spoiled that you’d expect him to put someone’s salvation on hold so he could say goodnight to you?”
Tasha blushed. “I suppose not.” she pouted.
“Aren’t you able to see that you’re in love with him, darling?” Lucinda asked gently. "I know it frightens you, but Mr. Tim is good inside. He'll be wonderful for you, darling."
Tasha’s eyebrows crashed together. “I don’t know. No. No, I’m not in love with him. And it’s too soon.”
“Miss Tasha, what are you waiting for? Mr. Gary isn’t coming back. He wouldn’t want you to be alone for the rest of your life. He would be delighted to know you are with a good man. He would want a father for his children.”
She took Tasha’s hand. “In comparison with eternity, your taking another husband would be a small thing. You’re not taking away anything from Mr. Gary, darling – he’s long past caring about your faithfulness to him. You’re only depriving yourself and those children if you don’t take Timothy Rain. You know he’s perfect for you.”
Tasha snorted. “Physically, yes. As for the rest, I don’t know a thing about him. “
“Give him a chance, and you will learn all about him. He’s waiting for you, you know. He’s watching and just waiting for you to break down and go to him.”
Tasha looked up uncertainly. “Do you think so, Lucinda?”
“I know so, love! Don’t waste any more time. Give him what he wants! Let go and just ... go for it!”
Tasha’s laugh bubbled up from inside her. It was so foreign, and unspeakably funny to hear her plump little mother figure talk so. “All right, Lucinda. Though it’s against everything in my nature, I’
ll ‘go for it’!’”
“That’s my girl. Honey, he’s worth it!” Lucinda cooed.
Tasha shook her head, and chuckled. But when Lucinda was gone, she became strangely quiet and still. She had no idea how to go about ‘going for it’. She really didn’t.
What was she supposed to do? How could she let Tim know that she wanted him? The men in her life had always pursued. How was she to turn it around? But to marry him? No. Not yet. Maybe someday, when she was sure of him.
She really wanted to get him out the door, out of her life. She had to come up with a plan. And then, if she couldn’t drive him away, she’d get him in her bed. He was making her crazy. She wanted him to be her lover, if he was going to stay. She needed to do something very decisive, to call his bluff. Drive him away, or break him! That's what she needed to do!
She got up and walked to her closet. There in the back, was a cherry red, short nightgown with a skirt trimmed in layer after layer of ruffled lace. It was cut deep, and hugged her breasts and torso most flatteringly. The layers of ruffled lace covered the private areas; barely.
She smiled grimly, and put it on. Then, she slipped on the matching silk kimono and slippers. She brushed her hair, put on a dab of perfume, and re-did her makeup in smoky, natural colors. She put lip gloss on her lips, and fluffed her hair. Then, she walked to the mirror and studied herself critically.
“That ought to do it.” she whispered in a sexy voice, and walked toward his room with great confidence. "Either he'll cave in and the whole thing will be settled, or he'll run like hell. He is just a man, after all." She laughed aloud. “Bet he runs like a jack rabbit.” she muttered gleefully.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Tim turned over in bed, and opened an eye when he heard the tap on his door. “Who is it?” he asked softly.
“Tasha. Can I come in?” she answered. The door opened, though he hadn’t yet replied. In she came, in all her glory.
“Uh, oh.” Tim muttered under his breath. He withdrew into his shell, and forced himself to look up into her eyes.
“I didn’t get a chance to say goodnight.” she said in a husky voice. “I know you were busy with Ingrid, so I thought I’d go to bed. But I can’t sleep.” she confided, sitting on his bed.
He just looked at her face steadily, and forced himself to stay calm.
“Well? Aren’t you glad to see me?” she asked teasingly.
Though his eyes were carefully averted, Timothy could see clearly the gap of her kimono and the thin, transparent lace of her gown underneath. His peripheral vision was extremely aware of her natural cleavage, the curve of her breast clearly visible.
She leaned closer. “Cat got your tongue?” she asked sweetly.
“Pretty much.” he answered flatly.
She lowered her lashes and leaned forward. She’d just kiss him. When she was so close their lips were almost touching, he grabbed her arms. She pushed forward anyway, and kissed him.
Tim knew that if he didn’t stop it immediately, he’d be in big trouble. He sat up, and held her away from him. “Go back to your room, Tasha.” he said evenly.
She gasped in surprise and embarrassment. “What’s wrong?” she asked in a choked voice. “I thought you wanted me! Now you’re throwing me out?”
He looked at her, a muscle twitching along his jaw. Looking into her stricken eyes, he critically assessed her. She looked genuinely confused and upset. His heart softened enough to let him respond.
“I do want you. Very much. But not like this. This is not about just getting laid, Tasha. I asked you again earlier today to marry me, and you wouldn’t say yes. So, what does this mean?”
“I thought I was just giving you what you wanted.” she insisted, her cheeks burning furiously. “I’ve never been so humiliated!”
Tears stung her eyes, and spilled onto his bare chest. For a moment, all she could do was cry. She tried unsuccessfully to gain control of herself. Then she wrenched out of his grasp, and fled to her room.
Tim sat up in bed, and put his head in his hands. An expletive slipped out of his mouth. He got up and put on some boxers, and made his way to her room.
The door was unlocked, to his surprise, so he walked in. She was sprawled on her bed. Her hair was flung around her like a wild wind had blown it, and her shoulders were shaking with silent sobs.
He stood there, looking at her. “Tasha. Talk to me.” he demanded in a gentle voice. “What the heck are you trying to do to me?”
She didn’t answer. Tim took a deep breath, and gathered his willpower. Then, he scooped her up in his arms and sat on her bed, with her in his lap.
“I asked you a question.”
She shook her head, and buried her face in her hands.
He let his lips move along her cheek, soaking up her hot, salty tears.
“Honey, listen. You just got things a little out of order, that’s all. Come on, now.” he urged. “I want more than anything to have a deep intimacy with you. I want to make love to you more than I want anything in the world, little girl. I want to pour my heart out to you like a river. And I will.”
She had stopped, to listen. She was very still and quiet. “Then why didn’t you?” she whispered at length.
“Because it’s no good without the proper foundation. I can’t just take what I want, because you're ready to jump in bed.”
“What are you waiting for?” she asked in obvious frustration. “I came to you ...” she accused. “You rejected me.”
He shook his head. “No, sweetheart, I’m not rejecting you. You are all I ever wanted, all that I ever think about. But I can’t have any of the things you were offering, until we get married.” he explained softly. “Marry me, and I’ll prove how much I love you, how much I want you.”
She rolled her eyes and growled. “I should have known! You’re just like Gary was. Damn you!” she pulled out of his arms, and stormed to the windows, across the room. She stood there staring out, with her arms crossed.
Tim shut his eyes tightly, as the dim light from the window silhouetted her sweet figure plainly through the nightgown. The robe had been discarded.
“Honey, listen to me. I can’t. You know that. My whole life has to be dedicated to being a man of God. I can’t just knowingly pick and choose when to be a man of my word and when not to.”
“When do I get to be first?” she asked coldly. “Will there ever be a time when I’m first in your life?”
“Yes.” he answered immediately. “Every night when we go to bed. No one will come between us when I’m alone with my bride. Tasha, say you’ll marry me, and I’ll give you my whole heart. I promise. That’s all I’m waiting for.”
“And unless we’re in bed, I climb into the back seat behind Jesus. And when someone calls in the middle of the night, I’ll climb into the back seat again, won’t I? If someone needs you and we’re making love, you’ll go, won’t you? The real truth is, I’ll always be second, won’t I?”
Tim looked at her grimly. He didn’t want to answer. But, she was waiting.
“Yes.” he said at last. “You will always come behind Him.”
She glared at him so coldly he could feel it from across the room.
“It has to be that way, Tasha. If our marriage doesn’t have its foundation in Him, it won’t stand the pressures of life. He’s got to be Lord in every area of my life. And yours. He’s called us to purity and devotion, first to Him; and then to one another. It’s nothing to feel threatened by. You’re not going to be cheated because of Jesus. I will never let that happen. And I can assure you, that isn’t what He wants for us, either. We will be happy, Tasha. Happier than ever, with Him on the throne in our lives.”
“Thanks, but no thanks.” she said firmly and coldly. “I’d rather do without.”
Her words went through him like a knife. “Liar.” he hissed. He crossed the room and whirled her into his arms. He kissed her hungrily, until she responded with a moan, and yielded sweetly against him.
Oh, it was
good to feel her body soften and mold against his. She was soft and warm, and fragrant. Her hair was like a cloud of soft silk. Her skin was so warm and soft under his fingers.
Tim felt his body respond, immediately. It was an unbearable ache. “Just do it. It’ll be all right.” a voice inside his brain insisted. He was on fire for her! He was so hungry to have her that it hurt physically.
“It’s been far too long already. You need this! She wants you! Give it to her! Take her!”
He wanted to. With all his heart, he wanted to indulge himself in the sweetness of her soft, lovely body.
"Oh, Tim. I just want you, so much." She admitted, going up onto her toes. "You're a gorgeous man. Just this once, let's be together. I need you, you've been driving me crazy! If you'll do this, just tonight -- then I'll know that you really love me. Put me first, just this one time." She begged, going up on her tiptoes and kissing him hungrily.
She pressed and rubbed her soft body against him as she slid back off her toes, to her feet. She looked up at him with such longing that it squeezed Timothy's heart.
“Timothy.” a soft, familiar voice said from deep inside him. He closed his eyes very tightly.
He opened his eyes and looked at Tasha with his heart in his eyes. “Tasha, you haven't said you'd marry me. You haven't promised me one darn thing. I can't come to you on your terms, to try to prove that I love you. You know I can't make love to you right now. It’s the one thing I can’t do. I think that's exactly why you're asking me to. It’s the easy way to have an excuse to get rid of me, isn’t it? You’re calling my bluff, so that you have a good excuse to kick me out.”
"Believe me, honey -- I want to – but I won't. I can't. Say you'll marry me, and by tomorrow night we can have this excruciating wait behind us. I'd like nothing better than to make passionate love to you, and take you home as my bride. Believe me."
Tasha’s heart flared with anger. How dare he be so cavalier and uncompromising? She drew herself up, and lifted her chin. Eyes flashing, she walked over and pushed her bedroom door all the way open. Then, she stood and held it for him with a clear, cold expectation evident in her stance.