by Alice Ward
The entire time we ate, Paisley talked my ear off about her swim camp and how excited she was for her swim team to start in August. I didn’t even know she was on a team, but I could tell by her face that it wasn’t something she would forget. I smiled and asked all the right questions. By the end of the night, I felt even more like a dad. Paisley fell asleep in the car on the way home, and I carried her to bed. She felt so light in my arms and I never wanted to put her down. I sat by her bed that night and watched her sleep. I couldn’t believe I’d already missed so much of her life.
When I went to bed Sunday night, I couldn’t sleep. I touched the pillow where Tara had slept two nights earlier and I felt a familiar sense of loneliness wash over me. I had fun with Paisley, but I still missed Tara desperately. What was worse was the fact that I wouldn’t get to see her Monday morning either.
Tara gave me the day off on Monday to spend time with Paisley. I was excited for it, but I’d also been looking forward to seeing Tara again. The higher ups in the company were going to have a big meeting to go over all the numbers, and I wasn’t welcome for that. I was important enough to model and give press conferences, but not to deal with the real stuff. It didn’t bother me, though. I always hated the business side of things. I would much rather spend my time working on the bikes than brainstorming ways to sell them.
When I finally fell asleep, I dreamt of Tara. She floated in and out of my subconscious the whole night, and when I woke up, she was still on my mind. I sighed and climbed out of bed, resigning myself to yet another day of not seeing her. Once Paisley woke up, I would have enough distractions to get through the day, but I still had an hour before that would happen.
I went into the kitchen and took my time making breakfast. I made a huge meal complete with waffles, sausage, pancakes, and bacon. I fried up a few eggs and sliced some fruit. I knew it was too much food for Paisley and me to eat, but I didn’t care. I had a special day planned for her and I wanted to start it off the right way.
Paisley came into the kitchen just as I finished slicing the fruit. She rubbed her eyes and sat down in her usual chair. I brought all the food over to her with a flourish and a smile.
“Wow,” she said. “This is a lot of food.”
I shrugged. “I know. I got carried away this morning. Besides, we’re celebrating.”
“Celebrating?” Paisley asked.
“Yup.” I grinned. “We’re going shopping today.”
“For what?” Paisley asked.
“Anything you want,” I said. “Remember when I said you could decorate your room?”
“Yeah.” Paisley nodded.
“Well, we’re gonna do that today,” I said. “We’ll get everything you need and spend the day decorating. What do you think?”
“Okay!” Paisley said. She grinned and began eating as fast as she could. I laughed and thought I should have waited until she finished breakfast before I told her the plan.
***
At the store, Paisley and I went down every aisle, making sure we got anything and everything she might need. We bought her a desk lamp and a new bedroom set complete with curtains and throw pillows. Then, we found a few posters to hang on the walls and some new outfits. She was having so much fun that I almost didn’t want to leave.
“Anything else?” I asked, glancing into the basket. “What about a trash can? You need a trash can.”
“Sure!” Paisley said. She ran down the aisle and grabbed a bright purple trashcan. It didn’t match anything we’d gotten so far, but I didn’t care. This was her day and her room. She could have whatever she wanted.
As we made our way to the checkout lines, we passed by the toy section. Paisley glanced down a few aisles but didn’t show any interest until the bikes came into view. She gasped loudly and stopped in front of a small green one. It had a white basket and a bell attached to the handlebars. She slid her hand over the sides of it, staring at it in awe.
“I’ve never had one,” Paisley whispered. I couldn’t tell if she was talking to herself or to me. She spoke so softly.
“Never?” I asked. Paisley jumped and whirled around. She hadn’t realized I was watching her.
“Sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean to stop.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “Check it out for a minute.”
Paisley circled around the bike. She touched the seat and rang the bell. Her eyes were wide and her mouth hung open. I’d never seen her look so excited about anything.
“Do you want it?” I asked slowly. I didn’t want to seem like I was trying to buy her, but she seemed so excited that I couldn’t help myself.
“No,” Paisley said quickly. She shook her head and stepped away from it. “It’s okay. I don’t need it.”
“Well, I know that,” I said, laughing. “But do you want it?”
“I don’t know how to ride,” Paisley whispered. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and I took a step forward.
“I can teach you,” I offered.
“Really?” she asked. She looked at me suspiciously like I was lying to her.
“Of course,” I said. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“My mom always said she would,” Paisley admitted softly. “But she never had time. She always said she was too busy.”
I nodded. “I see. Well, I’m not too busy. I think we should get it.”
“Are you sure?” Paisley asked. She looked back at the bike with a frown. I could tell she wanted it, but she was nervous.
“Positive,” I said. “Come on.”
I grabbed the bike, and we took it up to the checkout lanes, along with our basket. It was an expensive shopping trip, but after getting my first paycheck from Yates’ Motorcycles, I didn’t care. We were celebrating.
We paid for everything and loaded it into the car. Once we got back to the house, I ordered us pizza for lunch, and we went to work decorating Paisley’s bedroom. I made the bed with her new sheets and comforter. Then we added the throw pillows. While I hung the curtains and the posters, Paisley plugged in her desk lamp and set up the trashcan. She moved it three times before she finally found the perfect place.
“Do you like it?” I asked when we were done. She looked around the room slowly, taking in the full effect.
“It’ll do,” she said stubbornly.
“It’ll do?” I scoffed. “Come on, you love it.”
“It’s okay,” she insisted.
“You love it,” I teased. I poked her in the side. She jerked away and tried not to giggle.
“It’s nice,” she said.
“Nice?” I exclaimed. “I’ll show you nice!”
I lunged forward and grabbed her around the waist. I threw her over my shoulder and pretended to drop her on her head. She screamed and laughed while I tickled her. We played and joked around for the rest of the day.
Slowly, I was learning more about my daughter. I knew she only liked cheese pizza and that she loved the color green. I knew her drawings were personal, but she loved to share them with the right people. I knew she would swim all day if she could, and I also knew that she really missed her mom.
As we sat together in her bedroom, I finally braved the subject.
“I’m sorry about your mom,” I said softly. “I know we haven’t talked about her a lot and I’m sorry for that. I just wanted to give you some time. I know you must miss her a lot.”
“I do,” Paisley said. “But sometimes I don’t. Is that bad to say?”
“No.” I shook my head. “It’s human. It means you’re healing.”
“I don’t want to forget about her,” Paisley said softly. “And sometimes I’m really mad at her.”
“Mad at her?” I asked. “Why?”
“Because she always said she’d never leave, but she did,” Paisley said. “She did leave. She died.”
I watched Paisley eyes fill with tears, and I fought back tears of my own. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and held her against my chest until all her tears dried
up. When she was done crying, I knew the conversation was over. She’d said as much as she could about her mom.
“Come on,” I said, taking her by the hand.
We went out to the driveway, and I parked her bicycle right in front of her. She stared at it apprehensively, unsure of what to do.
“I’ll help you,” I said. “Just climb on.”
Paisley climbed onto the bike and I held her up. Together, we slowly moved down the driveway. She pedaled and I made sure she kept her balance. She was nervous at first, but the longer we rode, the more comfortable she became.
I didn’t know when to let go, but I thought I would know the moment when it came. She wasn’t ready yet. She was still teetering to either side too often, and besides, I knew I couldn’t let her fall. Not yet. Not when we were finally starting to feel like a real family.
I led Paisley up and down the street until the sun began to set. She didn’t want to go inside, so we sat on the porch together and watched the stars come out. I showed her a few constellations, and she had fun naming the stars with silly names.
“That one’s Tibby,” she giggled. “And that one is… Spoon!”
“What about fork?” I asked. “If there’s a spoon, then there has to be a fork.”
She shook her head. “No, just the spoon.”
I laughed. “Okay. Whatever you say.”
We spent an hour just looking up at the stars and making jokes. Paisley laughed more that night than I’d ever heard her laugh before. I suddenly realized that I didn’t need Tara around to make Paisley happy. As much as I loved Tara’s company, Paisley and I were doing just fine on our own. She was my daughter and I was her dad. No matter how rough our beginning was, we were finally falling into the roles we were always meant to play. I couldn’t believe I let so much time go by without knowing her or that I once thought she would be better off without me. I could no longer imagine my life without her in it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Tara
“Hey Tara,” Ray said, smiling when I stepped into his office. He’d asked to speak with me before the big meeting so I went straight to his office that morning.
“Morning,” I said. “You wanted to see me?”
“I did,” he said. “Have a seat.”
I sat down in the empty chair across from his desk and waited for him to speak. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought I was in trouble. Ray smiled at me while he sat back down behind his desk. I breathed a sigh of relief. He was smiling. I definitely wasn’t in trouble.
“I just wanted to thank you,” he said. “Before we go into the conference and go over the numbers with everyone, I wanted to tell you how much you’ve helped us over these past few weeks. You’ve really turned things around, Tara.”
“Oh,” I said, blushing slightly. “It wasn’t just me. The whole company put forth so much effort.”
“True,” Ray said with a nod. “But you’re the real reason the numbers are up. You’ve been a miracle worker lately. All the work you’ve done with Sean… I never imagined he could become such a vital part of this company.”
“He has been amazing,” I admitted. “I couldn’t believe it myself.”
“It’s all because of you.” Ray smiled. His eyes twinkled. “There’s no way he would be half as good without your guidance.”
“Thank you,” I said. I wanted to argue more, to tell Ray it was more Sean’s doing than mine, but I knew now wasn’t the time. Learning to accept a compliment was a hard thing to do, but it was important at times like these. “I’m just grateful you gave me this chance. It’s been such a great learning opportunity.”
“You and Sean are getting along well now, aren’t you?” Ray asked. I swallowed. He wasn’t beginning to suspect anything, was he?
“We are,” I said. “In fact, there’s something I wanted to ask you about Sean.”
The thought occurred to me in the moment, but I knew it was a good idea. It would distract Ray from my relationship with Sean for the time being, and it might serve to answer a few of my unanswered questions.
“What is it?” Ray asked.
“Well,” I began slowly. “I don’t want to overstep, but I’ve been wondering what happened between Sean and Zach? There’s just so much tension there, and I never found out what caused it.”
Ray looked at me carefully. He sighed and shook his head side to side. I didn’t know if I’d been too forward with my question, but I didn’t care. I wanted to know the truth.
“It’s complicated,” Ray began. “I don’t know if I should be the one to tell you, but when Sean was married to Paisley’s mom—”
Just then, Ray’s office door swung open, and he fell silent. Zach stepped inside without knocking and looked from Ray to me and then back again.
“The meeting is starting soon,” he reminded us. “We should get to the conference room.”
Ray and I exchanged a look, but we didn’t speak. Our conversation would have to continue another time. Together, the three of us walked down the hall toward the conference room to start the meeting.
***
The rest of the employees filtered in slowly. I sat at the head of the table beside Ray, with Zach on Ray’s other side. We were silent while we waited for the room to fill. As everyone arrived, I felt my excitement grow. This meeting was one I’d been waiting for. Not only were we going to announce the growth in our numbers, but I would be taking most of the credit. My plan worked. Sean was a success. Everything was falling into place perfectly.
“Alright,” Ray said once everyone was seated. “Thank you all for taking the time to be here. I know we’re all extremely busy these days. I promise, this meeting will be worth your time.”
There were a few appreciative murmurs throughout the room and I smiled to myself. Everyone was going to be even happier once Ray presented the numbers.
“So,” Ray said. “As you all know, we’re here to discuss the new numbers that came out last week. It hasn’t been long since we launched our new ad campaigns, and things are already beginning to look up. Our numbers are rising fast. In just two weeks, our profits have skyrocketed.”
With that, Ray turned to press a button on his computer. The new numbers were then displayed on a screen behind him. He pointed to each column and explained them as he went. He told us that our stock value had recently doubled and that our profits were higher than they’d been in two years. It was all new, so everyone was ecstatic with the news.
“And,” Ray said. “Since this all happened so fast, we can only expect more growth in the months to come.”
The entire room broke into applause. I laughed and joined in. It was a day of celebration, and everyone was enjoying the tension-free atmosphere.
“Now,” Ray said. “There is one person in particular we need to thank for this success, and I think we all know who that is. Tara, stand up!”
I smiled shyly and began to rise from my chair, but Zach beat me to it. He jumped to his feet so fast that I almost didn’t see him move.
“I think everyone deserves a round of applause,” Zach insisted. “This was a team effort, after all. No one person deserves all the credit.”
I tried to keep my face impassive as Zach spoke, but I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. In a way, he was right. The entire company pitched in to make this happen, but Sean’s ad campaigns were the biggest reason for the positive uptick in sales. Bringing Sean on had been my idea and mine alone. I was the one who spent all this time working with him and grooming him to become the face of the company. Didn’t I deserve some recognition?
Apparently, Zach didn’t think so. He led another round of applause, and I fell back in my seat. I forced a smile on my face and clapped along with everyone else. With a glance at Ray, I knew he didn’t appreciate Zach’s interruption any more than I did, but we were both too professionally minded to say so.
The meeting ended and everyone filtered out slowly. A few people congratulated me as they left, and I felt
my mood begin to lift. No matter what Zach said, he couldn’t take this moment away from me. The company was a success once again, and it was almost entirely because of me.
Still, as I watched Zach leave the conference room, rage filled me. If I was ever going to confront him, now was the time. I marched out of the room and down the hall, not stopping until I reached his office. Without knocking, I stormed inside and closed the door behind me.
“What the hell is your problem?” I demanded. My eyes locked on Zach’s and I saw red.
“Excuse me?” Zach asked with narrowed eyes.
“Just now,” I said. “In the meeting, you completely discredited all the work I’ve done. Why? What was the point?”
“I just don’t think we should be praising one person over everyone else,” Zach said bluntly. “It’s not like you’ve done more for the company than the rest of us.”
“This entire thing was my idea!” I said. I could feel my pride getting the best of me, but I didn’t care. I was finally ready to put Zach in his place.
“Yeah,” Zach scoffed. “Bringing Sean on was your idea, and we’ve yet to see if it was smart call.”
“Are you kidding?” I laughed. I did my best to keep my voice level so I wouldn’t start to yell. “Did you not see the numbers? Our profits are higher than they’ve been in two years. Whether you like it or not, your brother is a huge success!”
“So, that’s what you’re upset about,” Zach said. He rolled his eyes and walked over to me. He stopped right in front of me and stared into my eyes with a mocking expression. Not for the first time that day, I wanted to slap him. “You just don’t want anyone insulting your boyfriend.”
“My boyfriend?” I laughed. “Please, Zach, this is about business. Nothing more.”
