Loving Lucas

by Lily Ryan

  Unable to accept the likelihood of being kicked to the curb I clear my throat. I have to stop her. I have to convince her we’re right together. If I can see her, touch her, kiss, I can do it. I’m not above using sex to maintain the status quo.

  “It sounds serious.”

  “You can say that.”

  “Not over the phone.”

  She once accused me of being a coward and trying to take the easy way out. I can’t allow her the comfort of breaking my heart without so much as looking me in the eye.

  “I’m not far from the office. What do you say I meet you there in ten minutes?”

  Chapter 47

  Olivia

  I stand outside the old Victorian home that serves as Dr. Stillwell’s medical building. I love the renovated house. From the moment I arrived for my interview, it felt enchanted, like something out of a fairytale. In the summer it’s picturesque with the country setting and flowerbeds in bloom, like a showcase on the cover of a magazine.

  Even in the dead of winter with all the trees bare and a dusting of snow covering the green grass it still looks beautiful. Peaceful. It wasn’t until now that I realize why I enjoy waking up and coming to work here. The deep attachment I feel isn’t to my job, it’s to the scenery.

  Something changed today though. The warm cozy feeling I normally get sitting on the large porch is gone. It’s replaced by cold and emptiness. I pull the long, thick sweater I’m wearing tighter, trying to shrink so my face and hands are inside it. The cold air and whipping wind bite at my nose and ears.

  I wonder how the situation got so complicated so quickly. Lucas has been right all along. I thought I could control the situation, avoid Dr. Stillwell, but he keeps calling for meetings with me. And I can’t blame him.

  I see the pain in the doctor’s eyes when he speaks about his son. Why wouldn’t he want to know what’s happening in Lucas’s life? But I won’t allow myself to be used as a pawn to get to the man I love. I know what I need to do.

  I hope a wave of relief washes over me as Lucas’s car pulls into the parking lot. It doesn’t. Instead my frayed nerves get worse and my teeth chatter harder.

  I meet him at his car. I don’t want to take a chance of anyone seeing him and telling Dr. Stillwell he’s here. That isn’t the purpose of this. I promised to be honest with Lucas no matter what. However, I don’t want anyone to witness the tirade I’m certain will follow.

  Lucas jumps out of the car with flowers in hand. He picks me up and swings me a hundred and eighty degrees around before crushing his mouth over mine. I guess that’s to prove to any onlookers, a.k.a. his father, that I’m his.

  “For you,” he hands me the bouquet.

  I smile. Not my usual ear to ear happy smile. It’s forced.

  “What are these for?”

  “Because I love you,” He kisses me again. I relax in his arms and nuzzle my head against his chest. “Now what has you so upset?”

  “You were right.”

  “That’s something I don’t hear enough of.”

  “Lucas, I’m serious. You were right about your father trying to get information. He called me in for another meeting today.”

  “I’m not surprised.” Lucas turns serious. “Did he try anything?”

  “No. Not at all.”

  “Good.”

  “He said he heard the buzz in the office about an engagement. He put two and two together. I probably don’t have to tell you he asked me to run interference so you’d speak to him.”

  “I see.” Lucas nods. He’s calm and reasonable. Not at all what I expect.

  “That’s it? I see? No, ‘I told you so?’ No, ‘that’s why I’m not comfortable with you working here?’”

  “Did anything else happen?”

  I shake my head and look at him dumbfounded. “No. I thought you’d want to know.”

  He rubs my shoulders and kisses me atop my head. “I love you.”

  I pull away and take a step back, “What is wrong with you? Why aren’t you angry?”

  He smiles. “Should I be?”

  I don’t understand his reaction at all. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he looks relieved as he rocks my hips side to side with his hands, and closes in on my lips.

  “Thank you,” he whispers.

  “I don’t get it. You’ve been riding me about this since you found out I work for him, wanting me to quit and all of a sudden you’re fine?”

  “I don’t see I have a choice. You’ve made it perfectly clear I can trust you.”

  I turn my back to him and stare at the ground. “But you’re right, and we’ll all be better off if I leave my job.”

  “No, we won’t. You’ll hate me. I’ll hate me, too.”

  “So you’re really okay?”

  He pulls me hard and quick against him, “I’m better than okay.” He runs his fingers through my hair, kissing me tenderly. As usual he leaves me breathless. “Maybe I can make this easier on you. Why don’t you make dinner reservations for this evening? Six o’clock.”

  “Anywhere in particular?”

  “Anywhere you’d like.”

  Feeling week in the knees, I can do little more than nod in agreement.

  “And one more thing. Make it for three.”

  “Three.” The meaning of what he said sinks in. “Three?”

  “Yes. I’ve been a jerk. You’ve been unhappy. And I know this will make your parents happy.”

  “Don’t compromise yourself for my parents.”

  He smiles while smoothing my hair. “I’m not doing it for them. I’m doing it for you. I’d do anything for you.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I do. Because I’m reminded with each breath that I love you, and I want to share my life with you. From here on out, I plan to act like a grown up instead of the pouting little boy I’ve been. I promise to do my best to make you happy every day, for as long as my heart beats, and as long as I can take a breath. And what you did today, proves to me you were right. My father’s not a threat, and I trust you completely.”

  “But …”

  He places his pointer finger over my lips, “Not another word. I’ll see you tonight. Six o’clock.”

  I stare with my mouth open as Lucas gets in his car and drives away. Every time I think I have him figured out he throws me a curve. I don’t know what happened to cause this change of heart, but I say a silent prayer of thanks for it.

  Chapter 48

  Lucas

  She doesn’t know. She doesn’t suspect. I’m in the clear. Sort of. Except I set myself up for the most uncomfortable night of my life. But how could I not? Just the thought of losing her makes me sick. I broke out in a cold sweat and wanted to throw up when I thought she was going to end it.

  By me going to dinner with him and putting forth this effort, it’ll make her happy. It will ease some of the tension between us when she realizes the lengths I’ll go to for her. At the very least, maybe I could come to some sort of agreement with my father to have him meet her parents.

  He’ll do it. I don’t doubt that, but he’ll have to do it on my terms, without Stacy. And if I have to have him at the wedding to make them happy, she isn’t to step foot in the church or the reception. But first I have to get through dinner.

  I let out a sigh of relief. I know with Olivia by my side I can get through this. For her I can get through anything. If I need strength or motivation, all I need to do is look into her eyes.

  Chapter 49

  Olivia

  Uptight glances don’t go unnoticed as I return to the office through the reception area. Nor do I miss the large wide open eyes of my coworkers, or the sideways looks warning of the sudden chill in the air. I don’t miss any of the warning signs acting as a precursor to the brewing storm. I just don’t know what they mean. Yet.

  Many of the other workers have been around long enough to know the power and destruction of the twister about to strike. Any other day I might ask about the heavy silence of hus
hed inter-office conversations, but not today. My mind is too focused on Dr. Stillwell, Lucas and our pending dinner.

  Tense and uncertain, I’m far too preoccupied to hear the roar of thunder rumbling around the office. If I pay attention to any of the signs, I may change direction and veer off course. Instead I head straight to my destination. Straight into the storm.

  I move forward, past the receptionist, past the examining rooms and straight into the doctor’s private office. I sit in a chair opposite the desk and fold then unfold my hands wishing I was somewhere else. I want Lucas to make amends with his father, but I’m not sure I want to mediate it.

  Especially since her name is sure to come up. I don’t want to hear the details of his relationship with Stacy. She is evil. I saw that in her smile.

  “Olivia?” Dr. Stillwell startles finding me waiting. “What can I do for you?”

  *

  I exit the Doctor’s office more jittery and nervous than I entered it. The image of Dr. Stillwell’s face alight with hope and joy stands in the foreground of my mind. I only hope dinner will go well and he won’t end up too disappointed.

  Once back to my own work area, I find Sandy rifling through the files on my desk.

  “It’s about time you’ve returned. And for the record, the break was unauthorized.”

  With anxiety spilling over my full line I’m taken off guard. I respond with an offensive posture.

  “Excuse me? I didn’t realize I have to ask permission every time I get a sip of water. What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Looking for the Simpson file you incompetent little twit!”

  “It’s not here.”

  “I can see that, genius.” Sandy snarls.

  I want to rip every strand of Sandy’s dry, over processed hair right out of her head. I want to tell her where she could look for the file, but I don’t think she’s that flexible. And I’m somewhat certain that will lead directly to my immediate termination. I choke on my words and smile sweetly.

  “The file is on Dr. Stillwell’s desk. He wanted me to bring it to his office when I finished, so he could review it.”

  “Yes. I’m aware of what he wants.” Sandy slithers close to me. “And if you had the good sense to do your job the way you’re supposed to, I wouldn’t be in here looking for it!”

  “I told you it’s on his desk.”

  “You’re certain of that are you?” Sandy asks, disdain clear in her voice.

  “Yes. I just saw it there five minutes ago.”

  Sandy’s eyes open wide, flames of anger shoot out of them. With her mouth small and twisted, she turns on her heel and storms off.

  With dinner looming in the near future, my body already aches from the tension filling my neck and shoulders. Great, now I could add Sandy’s tirade to my mountain of stress.

  *

  At five O’clock I stop working and head for the exit. I reach my hand out and almost have the doorknob in my grasp when I hear Sandy shriek behind me.

  “I hope you don’t think you’re leaving.”

  I turn to face her wondering what prompted this showdown. I do my best to keep my voice clear of any sarcasm. “I’m finished for the day.”

  Sandy’s lips press together in a narrow line. Her eyes are small, her voice low and mean as she answers back, “Like hell you are. You owe me time.”

  “I have to leave now, I’m meeting …”

  “I don’t care if you’re meeting the president! You are not leaving here.”

  I want to answer back in a voice matching Sandy’s in both volume and anger. Instead I fight the impulse to tell Sandy to go to hell. I hold my tongue, knowing Sandy will regret her poor attitude once she learns who I’m supposed to meet.

  “I said get back to work. Do you understand me?”

  Heads of the few remaining workers poke out of their cubicles and offices trying their best to take in the scene.

  I stare at Sandy in silence. This job isn’t worth it. I don’t care if I get fired. Even if it means Lucas will gloat and think he won. I secretly hope the doctor comes out and puts Sandy in her place.

  “Are you mute all of a sudden? Did you hear me?” she yells.

  I clear my throat. “Yes.”

  “When you speak to me do so with respect.” Sandy’s eyes sear into mine.

  Frustrated I stare back, not about to back down. After a deep breath, ready to show my cards, I answer, “Sandy, I think you should know …”

  She cuts me off, “Let me make one thing clear,” she tries to use her height as a tool of intimidation. Leaning over me, her pointer finger extended, she continues. “I worked long and hard to get where I am. If you think you’re going to come along and spread your legs to get everything I deserve you’ve got another thing coming.”

  I almost choke, feeling the crimson of embarrassment rise from my toes to my face. “Excuse me?”

  “Don’t play your innocent bullshit.” Sandy’s nostrils flare. “I’m no fool. I’ve been down this road before. I knew it wouldn’t work with that brainless Barbie doll,” the older woman continues.

  “Stacy?”

  Sandy sniggers. “I tried to talk him out if it. But he wouldn’t listen. He should’ve married me. I understand him. I know how to keep a man like him happy.”

  At last it’s clear why Sandy suddenly hates me.

  “I made this business thrive.” She continues to rant. “I would’ve made him great.” Sandy looks down her nose at me, “But you? At least she has style, flair. She isn’t a little nothing. An insignificant peon.”

  My eyes blaze and my hands tremble with fury, “How dare you insult me!”

  “I can do anything I damn well please. I run this office. I hire. I fire. And as a matter of fact, I want you to pack up your things and get your sorry, pathetic ass out of here!”

  “On what grounds?” I yell back.

  “Insubordination.”

  “Ah hem.”

  We both turn to find Dr. Stillwell standing just inside the doorway, his brow furrowed.

  For a moment that takes far too long to pass, no one speaks.

  “Sandy, in my office now!” he orders.

  She takes a deep breath. “I’m just finishing some business with Olivia.”

  “You’re done dealing with Olivia. In my office.” He raises his brows menacingly.

  I watch in silence as Sandy steamrolls her way into Dr. Stillwell’s office.

  Chapter 50

  Lucas

  I sit alone in the back of the restaurant drumming my fingers on the table. I pick up a spoon, and examine the empty piece of cutlery. What the hell am I thinking? I look at my watch and then at the door. No sign of Olivia, or my father.

  I check my phone. No message. No text.

  Where the hell is she? The longer I sit by myself, the less likely I am to stay. After checking the time once more I decide to give them five more minutes before I get up and leave.

  I tent my fingers together and close my eyes, willing Olivia to walk through the door. And walk through it alone. When I told her to make arrangements the thought hadn’t crossed my mind that she might actually catch a ride with my father. I don’t know why she would, but paranoia doesn’t run on logic.

  If I call she’ll think I’m checking up on her. So what? She’s late. There’s nothing wrong with me worrying about her safety.

  I pick up my phone, debating if I should text or call. Before doing either, I look up one last time and see her speaking to the hostess. My heart unclenches in my chest and I can breathe again.

  Olivia’s alone. She looks in my direction. I want to get lost in those chocolaty brown eyes, but I can’t. My father’s coming and I have to have my game face on. As she walks toward me, I see it. She’s frazzled. Something’s wrong.

  I catch a glimpse of my father in the background. He spots Olivia and follows a few feet behind her. Olivia’s eyes are weary, frightened almost. They meet mine and grow wider. I keep focused on her instead of peeking at my f
ather behind her.

  Once she’s close to the table, I stand to greet my beautiful fiancé. I feel nauseous and jittery. My nerves are getting the best of me. I hope I can settle myself enough that I can keep my voice down and my hands from shaking with my father at the table.

  I lean in to kiss Olivia. She takes my hands in hers. I can’t help myself, I look down for a quick moment, and smile seeing the engagement ring on her finger. When my eyes move back up to her face, I don’t see the normal sparkle in her eyes.

  Something’s bothering Olivia. But there isn’t time to ask before my father approaches the table. My eyes and my attention dart over to him.

  “Hello, Lucas,” he says, beaming.

  “Hi.” I answer, not wanting to seem hostile. I don’t want to sound happy either. Straight up indifferent works for me.

  I pull a chair out for Olivia. Once she’s settled, my father and I take our seats, but my eyes never leave his.

  “Son, I am delighted to offer my congratulations on your engagement.”

  I glance at Olivia. She looks nervous. Too nervous. Probably afraid of how I’ll react. I don’t want to make her anxious. Dinner was my idea, and I’m doing it for her. The point is to ease the anxiety not add to it.

  “Thank you.”

  After an awkward moment of silence, my father breaks the growing tension. “I must admit I was quite surprised when Olivia came into my office and invited me to dinner.”

  The waitress comes to take our order. We all start off with a drink to take the edge off. Olivia orders a glass of wine. Me, I go right for the good stuff, vodka straight. Then it’s my father’s turn.

  I listen as he orders the same drink he had every night with dinner when I grew up. A dirty martini. Just hearing the words leave his mouth envelope me in memories of us as a family.

  As soon as he’d come home from work, before even looking at my mother, he’d look for his drink. She made sure to always have it ready for him. More important than dinner on the table was the drink in his hand. He needed something to settle his nerves after a long day of dealing with patients.