Loving Lucas

by Lily Ryan

  “Not your money. I was never interested in it. I’ll make my own.”

  “Well then, can I arrange for you to meet some people whose money you might find more acceptable?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “They’re doctors, Lucas. If this is successful, and by the passion I hear in your voice I’m sure it will be, they’ll be thrilled to have their names tied to it. It wouldn’t be a favor to me, it would be an investment in their own practice.”

  It makes sense. Does it matter where the money comes from as long as it’s not his pocket? Not when I think about the families it can help.

  “Okay. Reach out to your colleagues and I’ll be happy to meet with them.”

  “I’m assuming you have your business and marketing plan laid out so you can provide them with details in black and white.”

  “Of course.”

  My father smiles, as he claps my shoulder. “That’s my boy.”

  Maybe I don’t want to kill him at the moment, but I don’t want him to touch me either.

  As we finish up dinner and wait for the bill, the tension doesn’t feel as heavy and thick as it did earlier.

  The conversation turns to Olivia. My father asks about her parents, where they live, what they do. If I didn’t harbor so much anger and resentment for him, I might consider it a good night. Even I have to admit, it ended on a much better note than I ever anticipated.

  Chapter 51

  Olivia

  I get in my car and let out a long relaxing breath. It’s over. We all made it through in one piece without any physical altercations. I can’t ask for more than that. At least not yet. Dinner went better than any of us anticipated. Certainly better than I had.

  I start my car and blast the music. I want to drown out thoughts of my day. They can wait; they certainly aren’t going to slip from my memory, no matter how much I’d like them too.

  While dinner went well, I’m glad it’s over. Relieved. I just want to get home and snuggle up next to Lucas. He promises he’ll be right behind me.

  How strange these last few days have been. I’ve never been brought home to meet anyone’s parents. It wasn’t in the cards with Nate. And that’s fine. It’s better having so many new experiences with Lucas. Even if the stress level is magnified tenfold from the norm. I just wish Christmas as a whole went better.

  Dominique hates me. Maybe if I’m the last woman on earth and promise to save the human race she’ll have a use for me, but definitely not as her daughter-in-law.

  And after Christmas dinner with my parents, I’ve lost hope of having holiday meals as one big happy family. But now after this uncomfortable and strange dinner with Lucas’s father, I see a light at the end of a very dark and twisted tunnel.

  If Dr. Stillwell comes through for Lucas, and I have no doubt he will, it can change the whole hue of their relationship and help brighten the family prospects all around. As long as Stacy stays away.

  Hearing about her is one thing; if my parents are forced to meet her, I believe they’ll lock and chain me in my old room.

  The quaint Metuchen restaurant is only minutes from my apartment. I knew it would be a perfect choice for dinner. Somewhat private, it offers an atmosphere conducive to talking as well as eating. It serves form as well as function. And it’s on our turf, not Dr. Stillwell’s.

  That was important to me because I wanted Lucas as comfortable as possible. Plus it’s close to home. Which means a quick and mindless drive at the end of the night. After this day, that’s a necessity for us both.

  I park in the spot allotted for me and go straight to the unit mailbox for my daily fill of junk mail. I glance up as Lucas’s car enters into view. Holding the small pile of letters in my hand, I head to my apartment door as he parks.

  I don’t bother to shuffle through the letters as I stand outside waiting for him. There’ll be time for that. Right now I’m much more interested in how he’s holding up.

  I feel Lucas’s arms wrap around my waist as I turn the key in the lock. I didn’t know what to expect from him when we got home, but this is a pleasant surprise. At least he isn’t in a crabby, vile mood.

  “You seem happy.”

  “Please,” he sniggers, “I thought tonight would never end.”

  “Was it that bad for you?” I smile as I push the door open and take a step inside. “I thought you handled yourself great!”

  He shrugs. “I just kept focusing on getting you alone. I know you’ll make all the grief and aggravation worth my while.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “You better believe it.” He reaches for the mail in my hand, and tosses it on the couch as he backs me up into the small, but cozy living room.

  “Finally you’re mine. Do you know how hard it was to sit and eat dinner, when all I kept thinking about was taking you into the ladies room and fucking you?”

  I giggle, happy to see a playful light shine bright in his eyes.

  “I’m glad you didn’t try. I would’ve said ‘No.’ Someone might have heard, and it would’ve been embarrassing for both of us.”

  “Speak for yourself. I’d be proud to get caught in the bathroom with you.” He leans, pressing his body against mine, heating me up. “I would’ve made you forget where we were.”

  “Doubt it,” I challenge, knowing full well he’s probably right.

  “Oh, yeah?” he reaches his hands under my dress. I hear as well as feel the tear of my panties as he pulls them off me and tosses them aside. “I hope you aren’t attached to those.”

  I shake my head with every nerve cell in my body on high alert, waiting for his next touch, the next brush of his skin against my own.

  “Once I got you against the wall and lifted you up so I could get inside you, you wouldn’t be thinking about where we were or who’d walk in.” His hands are lost under my hair, pulling my head toward his mouth. “You’d only be thinking about how good I feel and how many times I’d make you come,” he whispers.

  I moan as his mouth meets mine. Until he pulls away with a crooked smile on his lips, leaving me wanting more. So much more.

  “And if we did get caught, you would’ve liked it.” His warm breath tickles my ear. “It would’ve turned you on. Made you drip. Having someone stand there, watching us. Watching you. Touching herself as she wished she could be you.”

  I don’t want to wait another second. I want him inside me. I close my eyes and throw my head back. Ready. Waiting.

  I want him to touch me there but his hands and mouth focus on my neck and shoulders. I know he wants me. I can feel that much. If he isn’t going to press the issue, I will. I reach my hands down to his waistband and unbutton his pants before he seizes my hands.

  “Not so fast. You want me?”

  I nod.

  “Tell me.”

  “I want you.”

  “I’m not convinced.”

  Blood swooshes through my body with every pulse of my heart. My cheeks color with the pink tinge of heat he causes to surge through me. I run my hands under his shirt, over the hard boxed muscles of his stomach and up his chest lifting the shirt off him.

  Lucas closes his eyes. Something’s off. I wonder if it’s just because he’s feeling the same type of delightful torment I am. The feelings he stirs in me; insecurity mixed with unabashed longings are as exhilarating as they are terrifying.

  Something’s different about him, something I can’t quite put my finger on, and that makes me nervous. Like he’s on the verge of losing control, or stealing it back. I’m not sure which.

  “I want you, Lucas.”

  “Yeah?” He stares at me through heavy lidded eyes. “What do you want me to do?”

  I swallow hard, not sure I like this game. “I want you to fuck me.”

  “I’m still not convinced.” He holds my chin so I can’t drop my head or turn away, then clasps my bottom lip between his teeth. “Show me,” he whispers. “Show me where you want to feel me.”

  I close my eyes. I don’t
have any issues initiating sex with him, but this is different. I’m too embarrassed to touch myself. At least not with him watching.

  “C’mon Olivia,” his voice is swathed in seduction. “Don’t be shy. You’re going to be my wife and I want to make sure I satisfy you, even if I have to do it over and over again. I’m just asking you to show me how.”

  He turns me around and lifts my dress off me. His hands cup my breasts as he leans his body against mine, pressing me against the wall. I’m relieved. He moved on. He’s not going to press the issue, thank God.

  “I love you,” he says taking one of my hands and placing it on my breast. Oh shit. “I just want to watch you touch yourself like I do,” he whispers, sex dripping off his words. He takes my other hand and rests it between my legs. “Show me how to please you. Show me where you want me. Show me how to make you cum so that your body explodes with pleasure.”

  Chapter 52

  Lucas

  That takes the edge off. I feel much better. I’ve been waiting for this release all day. I smile at my bride-to-be still sandwiched between me and the living room wall. I can’t get enough of her.

  She’s quiet. Too quiet.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Olivia shakes me off, but her eyes will only meet mine for a second at a time before she looks away.

  I stroke her face. Her cheeks are still warm. “Hey. I love you. You know that, right?”

  She nods.

  “And you know how incredibly hot that was?”

  “That’s what you keep telling me,” she teases.

  “Then why are you so quiet and shy all of a sudden?”

  She doesn’t answer. Instead, she slides her back down the wall, creating distance between us.

  “Olivia, what’s wrong?”

  She reaches across the floor for my shirt and slips her arms though. I don’t speak as she closes a few of the buttons in the middle. She has nothing on underneath and enough cleavage shows that if my eyes don’t move up to meet hers I’ll be ready for round two in no time.

  “Watching you touch yourself like that … what a turn on. I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”

  “It’s not that. Nothing is really wrong. It just sort of hit me, this is your vice. Sex I mean.”

  “So?”

  “I thought it was alcohol, but no, it’s definitely sex. Alcohol is what you use when sex isn’t an option.”

  I don’t know where she’s going or what she’s getting at. This is ridiculous. What does it matter as long as I’m only having sex with her? I don’t see the problem.

  “Sex is always an option. And as far as vices go, this is a pretty healthy one. It won’t rot your liver, or make you fat. And it feels pretty amazing. At least I do my best to make sure you feel amazing.”

  Finally she cracks a smile. “Of course it’s amazing. I don’t know why, but it just makes me nervous.”

  I pull her against my chest. This is a conversation that calls for cuddling and coddling. “I’ll never ask you to do anything you really don’t want to. I promise. And I’ll never try to hurt you. I’m not into that. I want to make you feel good. I want you weak in the knees, I don’t want to bring you down to them. And anything that happens in the bedroom stays there.”

  She seems to relax a little, but I can tell she’s still uncomfortable.

  “Are we good?”

  Her brow crinkles. She looks confused. “Of course.”

  “Then what’s wrong? Is it …” There is only one thing I could think of. “Do you want to take the office manager position?”

  “No.” She nestles against my chest. “That’s the furthest thing from my mind. Besides, I’m perfectly happy doing medical billing. In fact, with Sandy acting so crazy over the last few weeks, if you didn’t order me to quit, I might just have done it.”

  “I never ordered you to quit.”

  She pulls back to look at me.

  “What? I didn’t. And I thought we agreed to disagree on this one.”

  “We did.”

  “Then why dredge it up? I’ve had enough to deal with today.”

  “Did you mean it when you said you wanted me to help at the center?”

  “Of course. I never mentioned it because I thought it was a given.”

  She gives me a sideward glance. “Are you sure?”

  I read between the lines.

  “I trust you. Although, I admit, I am a little curious why Sandy had it in for you if you had nothing to do with my father.”

  “Seems she’s in love with him, and like you, she was blindsided by what happened with Stacy.” Her shoulders shrug as she speaks, “I think once he started calling me into his office to get information about you,” she clarifies. “Sandy misunderstood and thought it was a repeat of Stacy.”

  I nod. Wondering if Sandy and I are making something out of nothing, or if we both see something Olivia is afraid to admit.

  “But I promise you, he’s not said or done anything inappropriate. I mean, even firing Sandy, it wasn’t because of how she was with me. Well it was, but not that way. She was nasty and mean, and vindictive. And she was firing me.”

  “We’ll see if his word means anything.”

  Almost on cue, my phone rings. I grab my pants a few feet away and reach in the pocket to see whose calling. “It’s him.”

  “You should see what he has to say.”

  I don’t want to, but she’s right. This call isn’t about me and my hurt feelings. If he can arrange for me to speak to the right people, it can affect countless lives.

  Against my better judgment I accept the call.

  Chapter 53

  Olivia

  I stand and reach for the mail on the couch while Lucas speaks to his father. I’m glad things are looking up for them. But the whole sex as a vice bothers me far more than I let on.

  I can’t explain to Lucas that Nate had the same vice. It would raise too many questions, and I don’t think I can handle talking about Nate tonight. Not after hearing about Stacy for hours.

  I carry the mail into the kitchen and sort through it. That’s when I notice a small piece of lined paper peeking out from in between two credit card bills. My stomach sinks when I recognize the handwriting.

  Olivia,

  Call me, we need to talk.

  I love you,

  Nate

  I think about Ava’s warnings. She’s right. I need to come clean about Nate. It won’t make a difference. At least it shouldn’t. But after the phone call last night, and a hand written note from him now, I can’t take the chance of him blowing things up for me and Lucas.

  I wonder how he found me. Getting his hands on my phone number is one thing, coming to my apartment, borders on stalker. It’s not like I’m hiding from him, but I cut all contact before I moved here, before I even thought about living here.

  I crumple the paper and open the kitchen cabinet under the sink to throw it out. That’s the moment I feel Lucas’s arms around my waist, making me jump. Making my heart pound in fear.

  “Are you okay?” he laughs.

  I can’t speak, my mouth is too dry and my blood swooshes with speed and purpose through my veins. Instead I nod, searching for my voice.

  “Liv?”

  “Yeah, fine. Why?”

  He turns me around to face him. Unable to meet his eyes, my stare drops below his waist. His pants are back on. I can’t help but feel a hint of disappointment.

  “You sure you’re okay?”

  I nod, as I contemplate telling him. I want to, I’m just not sure this is the right time. But if I wait for a right time will it ever come? I finally have him convinced his father isn’t a concern. I hope. Do I really need to bring up Nate? This is the last thing we need.

  “You just surprised me. I thought you were still on the phone.”

  “I made it short and sweet. I had enough of him for a lifetime.”

  He can deny it all he wants, but he is almost giddy. I never expected him to be in such good spir
its tonight. I thought he’d be moody and brooding. Maybe this really is what he needs.

  “What did he say? Did he contact his friends?”

  “Yes. Two out of three were interested. I’m meeting them for dinner next week.”

  I throw my arms around his neck excited for him. I have a good feeling about all of this. “That’s wonderful.”

  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but since I’m coming up short on prospects and banks are so tight with money these days, it’s an opportunity. I need to knock this out of the park.”

  “You will. I know it!”

  “I just hate that it’s coming from him. I have half a mind to cancel.”

  “Don’t. Consider it payback. Retribution for being a crappy parent.”

  He looks away.

  “Will he be there?”

  “No. He’s just orchestrating the meeting.”

  “Then he has nothing to do with it. It’s all you.”

  Lucas nods, but I’m not sure if he’s buying into it.

  “You know, since tonight has gone better than I expected, I think I’ll push my luck one more time. I have a question for you.”

  I hold up the hand with my engagement ring. “Since I already said ‘Yes,’ you can only be hinting toward one thing, and ‘No,’ I won’t let you shoot sex videos.”

  “You sure about that? I’d love to direct you.” He backs me up against the kitchen counter. “You are an amazing performer.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

  “Yes. I’m sure. Besides, I’m camera shy.”

  “In that case, I’ll have to settle for the live show. And I can’t wait to see it again. Night after night actually. But for now, how do you feel about moving in with me? I don’t want to wait until we’re married. I want you in my bed every night.”

  “Only if I can redecorate. You’re place is too cold and aloof.”

  Lucas looks around my apartment, rubbing the back of his neck. “With these?” he asks referring to the posters I framed and hung as decorations.

  “Maybe.”

  “What do you say we do it together? I can’t have you girl the place up too much.”