Harley Quinn at Super Hero High

by Lisa Yee

  “Harley!” said Poison Ivy, looking aghast. “How can you say that?”

  “It’s not me!” Harley reminded her. “It’s the FAKE me.”

  “Oops, sorry,” Poison Ivy said sheepishly.

  “So it’s J.J. Tetch behind all this,” The Flash noted, still befuddled from the chase and having his hat removed.

  “I think we all suspected that,” Batgirl said.

  “But the real question is why,” Hawkgirl added.

  “And what does he have against me?” lamented Harley. “He was so nice!”

  “I’m sure it has something to do with the Green Team,” Batgirl deduced. “Lois is saying that their looting is getting worse, and their team is multiplying.”

  “Why would anyone want to do math at a time like this?” Harley quipped. Most of the heroes rolled their eyes while she snickered at her own joke.

  “Harley, plug me in to the cameras you have all over the carnival. I want to see what’s going on,” Batgirl said.

  Harley and Batgirl sat side by side, Batgirl with her computer, Harley with her video control panel. The others looked over their shoulders.

  “I think all hats are accounted for, except for the ones from the carnival workers,” Supergirl said to Big Barda. “The civilians are still calming down, and the super heroes from the other schools are all on board with helping us. Together we’ll get the hats from the workers. So far they’ve refused to give them up of their own accord. It appears that J.J. hired a bunch of thugs and villains.”

  Harley hit the “On” button on her camera and was about to broadcast, but someone beat her to it. “Oh, my! What if there’s a surprise in store for those super heroes? Like maybe a battle in the bubble!” Fake Harley said gleefully. “Whatever’s up next is sure to be epic! Tell everyone to tune in.”

  “Hey!” Real Harley cried. “That’s what I was going to say!”

  Hawkgirl said, “You know things are totally crazy when Fake Harley and Real Harley are saying the same thing.”

  “Let’s give it another try,” suggested Wonder Woman as the Supers rallied. “We’ve moved mountains, we’ve fought epic battles, we’ve conquered evil. Breaking a bubble shouldn’t be all that hard.”

  Others followed her lead as she hurled her shield against the bubble. Bumblebee used her blasters, Supergirl used her heat vision, and Big Barda threw her mega-rod with all her might. But the bubble didn’t even budge.

  “Okay,” Harley said. She was hopping up and down with an excess of energy. “Plan B. We fan out and track down J.J. Once we get him, we find out what his motives are and how to get out of here. Everyone, pair up!”

  The carousel riders were relieved when Batgirl fixed the mechanics and slowed it down. Harley and Batgirl then bypassed the Rock ’n’ Roller Coaster when they saw that Hawkgirl and Ivy had it under control.

  “How’s about going in there?” Harley said, pointing to the House of Mirrors. She didn’t wait for Batgirl’s answer. It was as if it was calling to her. Harley…

  It was cool in the darkness. Before Batgirl could activate her flashlight, the room was flooded with light so bright that both girls had to shield their eyes.

  Harley peeked through her fingers. “Whoa!”

  Batgirl squinted. “Ditto!” she said as she took in the hundreds of reflections. “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

  “A whole lot of Harleys?” Harley said.

  “Yes, but only one of me,” Batgirl noted. “The mirrors are only showing your reflection.”

  Harley looked around. Sure enough, there were Harleys everywhere, but no Batgirls, other than the one standing next to her.

  Harley turned on her shoulder cam. “I think I’m gonna want footage of this,” she said as the red light blinked.

  “It’s like a Harley Quinn convention!” Batgirl exclaimed.

  “I’d go to that,” Harley said. She stopped again to look at herself in the mirror. “Uh, Batgirl?”

  “Yes?” said Batgirl, who was taking a moment for reports from Metropolis. The city was now on lockdown.

  “I think I just winked at myself,” Harley said.

  “Oh…kay?” Batgirl said then returned her attention to their immediate situation. “Let’s keep an eye out for strange happenings.”

  “The wink was a strange happening,” said Harley. “Because my image winked at me, but I didn’t do any winking.” She started making faces and then began a series of somersaults and flips, watching herself in the mirror.

  “What are you doing?” Batgirl asked, perplexed. “This is not the time to create new gymnastics routines.”

  Harley did a complicated triple flip, but at the last second, reversed it, and yelled, “Can you do that?”

  The Harley in the mirror just smiled and stood still.

  At the same time, Batgirl and Harley shouted, “FAKE HARLEY!”

  Harley began smashing the mirrors with her mallet. As each mirror shattered, the Harley reflected there disappeared.

  “One of the mirrors isn’t really a mirror. That fake is in the room with us,” Harley cried. “I’m going to find this pretender. There’s only one Harley Quinn!”

  “That’s for sure,” Batgirl said as she removed a Batarang from her utility belt and tossed it, causing mirrors to fall onto each other and break.

  There was glass everywhere, but it seemed that for every mirror that broke, there was another to take its place. During it all, Fake Harley began taunting them, saying, “Catch me if you can!”

  “Fake!” Harley cried in frustration. She swung her mallet hard and shattered another mirror into hundreds of tiny shards of glass. Then she froze. “Um, Batgirl?” she called. “Can you come here, please? I think you’re gonna want to see this.”

  “Your hat, miss,” the man said, smiling. He held out a jester’s hat of many colors with a golden bell on the top. “A gift from J.J.”

  Harley’s eyes locked on the equalizer in the man’s other hand. It had mirrors on the end of it, and reminded of her of the trifold mirrors in a department-store dressing room.

  “No, thank you,” Harley said. “I don’t wanna muss up my hair.” She poufed up one of her pigtails.

  “I see you brought a friend to the party,” he said, bowing slightly. “How do you do? I’m Mirror Master.” Though he had on a green hood and cowl, a white sailor hat with a first-mate insignia sat snug on his head, looking out of place.

  “I know who you are,” Batgirl answered. “You use ultra-advanced mirror technology to create holograms, like the one you made of Fake Harley. But what I don’t understand is how you were able to make it so convincing.”

  “Yeah, confess—or say hello to this,” Harley said, raising her mallet in the air.

  “Well, you liked the mirror I sent you, right?” he asked. He was taller than both girls by almost two feet, and muscular.

  “What mirror?” Harley asked. Her eyes flickered with recognition. She touched her pocket. “Oh, that mirror!”

  “Yes, the hand mirror was from me,” he said, smugly. “Thought you’d like it. Who doesn’t like to look at themselves? I know I do.” He glanced at a mirror and admired himself.

  “I get it now,” Batgirl said, nodding. “Harley, every time you looked in the mirror he was image-mapping you. Your looks, your movement, your quirks. Plus, he was collecting everything you’ve ever said so Fake Harley could have a speech bank to draw from.”

  Harley gulped. “Ya mean ya heard what I was saying when I was alone?”

  Mirror Master smiled. “That I did, Harley! That I did.”

  “How unoriginal,” Batgirl said. “You’re just a copycat.”

  “Oh, dear. Are you trying to hurt my feelings?” Mirror Master said, feigning sadness. “I’m more than a copycat. And to prove it, maybe I’ll create an army of Batgirls next.”

  Harley gasped. “The Green Team! That’s why there are so many of them. You did that!”

  “She’s catching on,” Mirror Master said. “Good for you, Harley
.” He tapped his equalizer. “I can control reflections and mirror images from here.

  “What is it that you want?” Harley asked.

  “I want a good job review,” Mirror Master said. “I want to make the boss happy. Fake Harley was my idea,” he boasted. “He loved that!”

  “Please tell us more,” Batgirl said, flattering him.

  “Well, remember when you two created those HarleyGrams?” Both nodded. Batgirl had helped Harley make small holographic images of herself to help promote Harley’s Quinntessentials. “I thought, I can do better than that! So I created a walking, talking reflection of Harley. One that can be programmed by me. At the same time, I can use my mirror skills to make it look like the Green Team is multiplying and cause confusion and panic everywhere.”

  “He’s a genius,” Fake Harley said.

  “Harley, meet Harley,” Mirror Master said smugly. “Now, who’s ready for some fun?”

  Harley raised her mallet in the air at the same time Fake Harley did. As Mirror Master laughed, he didn’t see Batgirl slip away. Real Harley and Fake Harley were swinging their mallets so fast and doing such astonishing gymnastics moves that it was impossible to tell which one was real.

  “Get her!” Mirror Master ordered Fake Harley. “Use Harley’s own techniques of speed, strength, and gymnastics on her. My Harley can do everything you can do,” he boasted to the real Harley. “Only, here, my Harley has the advantage.”

  It was true. With her reflection everywhere, Harley couldn’t tell just who she was fighting. She was swinging madly, hitting every image of herself.

  “Not even you can tell the difference between yourself and a fake,” Mirror Master bragged.

  Harley paused. “You are so right. Thank you for the tip!”

  As she ran around the room doing backflips and cartwheels, Fake Harley did the same. They moved so fast they blurred together. When they stopped, both faced Mirror Master.

  “Stop playing around,” he ordered. “Get her!”

  “Get her!” both Harleys yelled. “Get Harley!”

  Harley starting mimicking the fake version of herself. If she couldn’t tell the difference, there was no way Mirror Master could either.

  Step by step, backflip by backflip, triple sidewinder by triple sidewinder, the Harleys did the same thing. They were mirror images of each other—and their reflections filled the House of Mirrors.

  “I see what you’re doing,” he said. “You can’t fool me.”

  What he didn’t see was that Batgirl had returned, and she had someone with her.

  Harley spied Batgirl and The Flash sneaking behind the mirrors. She wanted to call out to them, but if she did, Mirror Master would also know where she was.

  Batgirl kept staring down at something small in her hand: her B.A.T. heat-seeking device. There was only one Harley in the room who had a temperature and a heartbeat.

  Mirror Master punched some buttons on the side of his equalizer. Instantly, Fake Harley started saying, “It’s me, Harley Quinn, and you’re watching the all-Harley all-the-time Harley’s Quinntessentials! I’m the real deal!”

  As the fake kept repeating this, so did the real Harley. She knew that confusion was often key in apprehending a villain. She had learned this in Commissioner Gordon’s Understanding the Criminal Mind class.

  The mirrors in the room and all the shattered pieces reflected Fake Harley and Real Harley. It was beyond confusing. “Let’s dance!” Harley said to her doppelgänger. The two began to spin around, reflecting each other’s moves perfectly.

  If the Harleys had competed in the dance contest, surely they would have won. Both gripped their mallets and held them out to their sides. With each spin, more mirrors shattered, leaving a trail of broken glass.

  Mirror Master had been so focused on the Harleys that he didn’t see Batgirl and The Flash sneak up on him. Suddenly, a streak of red rushed by.

  “I got it!” yelled The Flash, holding up Mirror Master’s mirror equalizer and tossing it upward.

  “No, I got it!” growled Mirror Master as he lunged for it.

  “No, I got it!” said Batgirl triumphantly from the ceiling, where she was perched upside down. She dangled the equalizer from her B.A.T. wire.

  “Give that to me!” Mirror Master demanded.

  “Okay, but first let me take a look,” Batgirl said.

  “Helloooooo!” Harley called out. She was still spinning around the room with Fake Harley. “I love to dance, but this is makin’ me dizzy!”

  Batgirl quickly reprogrammed the Mirror Master’s equalizer, and suddenly, Fake Harley stopped dancing. “Phew!” Harley said as they both wobbled. “I was runnin’ out of dance moves.”

  “Harley, say goodbye to Harley,” Batgirl said as she punched more buttons on the equalizer.

  “Bye-bye,” Harley said as Fake Harley disappeared with a digital ping. “And don’t come back!”

  “What have you done?” Mirror Master yelled. “I’m going to get in so much trouble now!”

  By then The Flash had tied him up with a length of blinking carnival lights. Batgirl removed the sailor hat from Mirror Master’s head. “Who are you working for?” she demanded.

  “I don’t work for anyone,” he said. “Hey, does anyone have an aspirin? I have a huge headache.”

  “It’s J.J., isn’t it?” asked Batgirl.

  “I don’t feel good,” Mirror Master moaned. “Stop asking me questions!”

  The Flash held on to the lights that bound the Mirror Master as they led him to the Lost and Found area, where the other carnival workers were being held. “Got another one!” he called out.

  Miss Martian was standing off to the side, her eyes closed. “They’re all thinking the same thing,” she said.

  “What’s that?” Harley asked.

  “Mad Hatter,” Miss Martian said. “That’s the name that keeps coming up when the carnival workers’ hats come off.”

  “WOWZA!” Harley declared. “J.J. and Mad Hatter are the same person. That sneak!” She tapped the side of her head. “Everyone, quiet! I’m getting an idea, and it’s a doozy! We get Mad Hatter, we get out of this bubble. We get out of this bubble, we save Metropolis. We save Metropolis, and I get exclusive footage! This Fake Harley business is old news. Although, it was cool having a sister, if only for a while.”

  “You can borrow mine,” Thunder and Lightning said at the same time, then both burst out laughing.

  “Well, there’s only one real Harley Quinn,” Harley said, dropping the mirror on the ground and raising her mallet. “I won’t be needing this anymore!”

  Harley was about to smash it when Batgirl stopped her. “Mind if I take that?” she asked.

  Miss Martian scurried to keep up with Batgirl and Harley. “I should have guessed J.J. and Mad Hatter were one and the same. Mad Hatter can get people to do his bidding by using mind control,” she explained. “The secret is his hat. The high-tech gizmos and gadgets in it enhance his powers.”

  “But Mirror Master is so strong, you’d think he could fight off this pest’s mind games,” Harley said.

  Batgirl nodded. “Mirror Master may be physically strong and have the mirror tech, but he’s no match for Mad Hatter’s brains. And when someone wears one of his hats, Hatter’s got even more control over them. It would take a person with incredible mental discipline to withstand his mind games. Look what happened to all the Supers!”

  “He’s close,” Miss Martian said, slowing down. “I wish I could home in on him, but his thoughts are jumbled and I can’t get a clean read. Wait…I’m getting stronger and stronger vibes. There!” She pointed to the Amazing Maze.

  The sign outside the Amazing Maze was lit up. Strobe lights made it look like a neon fireworks display. But with each step closer, a bank of lights would burn out with a sizzle and fizzle into darkness. By the time they were at the entrance, the marquee was practically dark.

  “Let’s storm the place!” Harley suggested.

  “Oh, um. Do we hav
e to?” Miss Martian squeezed her eyes shut. Then she said to herself, “Yes, we do, Miss Martian. Get ahold of yourself.” Her eyes fluttered open. “Get ahold of yourself!” she repeated, louder.

  “What’s going on?” asked Harley.

  “I’m getting a strong signal, and if I concentrate really hard, I can get a sense of Mad Hatter’s thoughts!”

  “What’s he thinking?” Batgirl asked.

  Miss Martian closed her eyes again. “His mind is difficult to read, but it is clear he wants to see Harley, alone. Just the two of them.”

  “That’s weird,” Harley said. “I was thinking the exact same thing!”

  It had taken some convincing to get Batgirl and Miss Martian to stay behind, but in the end Harley won. “Mad Hatter just wants me,” she reasoned. “If the three of us appear, he may not show up.”

  Silently, Harley tiptoed into the Amazing Maze. It was dark and eerily quiet, and reminded her of when she was little and used to play hide-and-seek. She would hide in the closet, sometimes falling asleep when no one found her.

  Though Harley was usually boisterous and brave, she could feel her heart beat faster and faster. As she got closer to danger, it excited and scared her at the same time. Suddenly a projectile flew at her. Harley whipped her mallet around like a baseball bat, smashing it.

  “Oh dear, why did you do that?” A friendly voice from above asked as pieces of candied apple rained down. “Is that any way to treat a gift?”

  Before Harley could say anything, something caught her attention. Across the room, at end of a long hallway, was a sign beckoning her.

  ON AIR, the red neon flashed. ON AIR.

  Harley made her way down the corridor, which got narrower and narrower with each step. Finally, it spilled into a cavernous room.

  The maze walls rose twelve feet high, too tall for Harley to see over. Taking a deep breath, she sprinted head-on toward one, using momentum to run up the side, flip herself over, and grab the ledge with two hands. Doing a pull-up, Harley peered over the top. She saw nothing but maze and more maze.