Hawthornes Calm Manuscript

by DeOlmos, M. A.

  “You see it now don’t you? I knew Blue was right.”

  I nod my head because it’s the only response I can give him.

  “Alright, I’ve shocked you enough for today. Don’t go yelling at her to tell you. Give her time. If we’re right, we’ll all know pretty soon. Just keep it cool and wait for her to tell you. Don’t be a dick about it.”

  “Okay Oprah, fuck!”

  Law walks off, grinning from ear to ear at the bomb he’s just dropped on my lap. I turn back to Liv where, all of a sudden, she’s gone.

  Out of nowhere, she jumps in front of me and I jump back as the wall smacks the back of my head hard. I grab her up quickly before she takes off running, pulling her into me while widening my stance. She fits perfectly in my center. I bounce her hips to and away from my growing dick. She raises her eyebrows at me and I laugh.

  “Sorry baby, you have that effect on me.” I look at her face and her cheeks are flushed. Her brown eyes look lighter, warmer too.

  “You feeling okay baby? You look tired and ready for bed. You want me to take you home and put you to sleep?”

  By the smile that plays on her lips, I know what she’s thinking and I didn’t mean that. I really wanted her to lie down and get some sleep.

  “Do we really have to go home for you to do that?” She practically purrs into my chest.

  I don't have the heart to tell her that's not what I meant. My cock is hard and ready for her if that’s what she wants from me. I grab her hand. “Come hit the showers with me then. If you behave, I'll even dry you off without a towel, just this…” I grab the back of her head pulling her head back at an angel and shove my tongue into her mouth.

  She immediately sucks my hungry tongue and massages hers against mine. I push off the wall ready to take her into the shower with me, but the sexy sneaky midget breaks free.

  “Uh-- I have more towels to fold and phone calls to make.” She says all too fast for me to really make sure that’s what she actually said.

  I laugh as she high tails it back to the front desk. Chicken, I think with a smile.

  Turning around once she’s within a safe distance from me, she sticks her tongue out at me. I grab my dick from the outside of my sweats and she crosses one leg over the other.

  I kick off the wall again, making my way towards the shower.

  God, how I love Livie Marie Ac—Hawthorne!

  ҉҉҉҉

  Finally, my watch reads six o’clock and the last of the guys Law and I are training start getting ready to leave.

  I really didn’t want to work one on one with anyone but Law and, of course, Liv forced me to. She said it would be a great way to beat the crap out of other men in a safe environment. Where she was getting her violent streak from I had no clue, but it balanced me out honestly enough.

  I think it’s mainly the fact that she isn’t fighting or training like she used to. All that pent up energy makes her act crazier than usual. Nothing I can't handle, but still I notice. Her hand is getting stronger every day, but not strong enough to go back to boxing or practicing jujitsu.

  I’ve been working with Trell, Santi, and Miller. Our fighting styles are similar so I figured it would be easier working with them. Law had Dominic, Paul, and Jahyel. Out of all of them, the only guys I felt were good enough to make it back to the cages other than myself and Law, were Dom, Jahyel and Santi.

  I wouldn’t give up on the others though. I knew how that felt; when everyone gave up on you. It floored me that two agents contacted me just last week begging me to come back and fight.

  I think I would have if I didn’t have Liv in my life. I couldn’t do that to her; leave her just to go back to the fucked up world I got lost in. The world I was forever strung out on coke in.

  They called Law too, apparently because he was a damn good fighter, almost as good as I was. I laughed to myself because I knew the ass wipe and I were equal and probably the best in the business—around here anyway. Or, used to be that is.

  A loud crash pulled me away from my—whatever it was I was doing. The squeal that followed had me running to the storage room because it was Liv. It wasn't the scream from her lips I liked to hear; not one fucking bit.

  Dulce, Law, and I reached the storage door at the same time. They moved aside, allowing me to walk in first. They already know how I am with Liv. If I couldn’t get to her, I’d break down the fucking walls until I was next to her. No problem.

  Storming into the room, I spot Liv on the floor with not one but two good-sized boxes on top of her. I could have strangled her right now.

  “What the hell Liv?!”

  I bend down to help her up but she pushes me off, as expected.

  “Excuse the hell out of me if I’m only doing what I asked you and Law to do hours ago! Don’t catch a fucking attitude about it!”

  I grab her by the arm, pulling her up anyway. I try to pull her close once she's standing, but she shoves me off again.

  “I’m fine!”

  She bends down to pick up the box closest to her and I catch her left hand trembling.

  I push her hands away, grabbing the box. “Where do you want it?”

  I see her eyes water from her pride being shot down. She hates accepting help from anyone especially when it comes from me. Not even when she knows, help is exactly what she needs. By the end of every day, her nerves in her injured hand are shot and it’s the same shit with her.

  She points to the top shelf.

  I turn, placing the box where she wanted it. I see the chair she must have been using to stand on out of the corner of my eye. My anger flares up again as I throw the box into its place, making her jump.

  I grab the next one, which is much heavier than the first. “This one?”

  She points again to another spot on the shelf unit built into the wall.

  Dulce’s sweet voice breaks the tensed silence. “We’re leaving. You two need or want anything? I was thinking I would cook tonight. Beja, I’ll wait for you if you want to help. Tonight it’s homemade lasagna night”

  “It’s okay prima, start dinner without me.” Liv dusts her hands off on her pants and quietly makes her way towards the back exit.

  Chapter Two

  Livie

  As soon as I lose my balance and fall off the chair with the two boxes landing on top of me, I already know Ocean-the extremely sexy version of Conan the Barbarian-is going to come barging in guns blazing or swords swinging-WHATEVER!

  Quickly, I put my arms behind me to prop myself up off the floor and my left wrist gives out on me again as Ocean storms into the storage room.

  His breathing is deep and labored. His hands are fisted at his sides. Initially I feel bad for falling knowing that he will worry himself an ulcer for no reason, but my anger towards how he always assumes the worst with me overpowers that guilt.

  Dulce and Law follow close behind and the worried looks on their faces pisses me off even more. Lately, they treat me as if I am made out of glass. The kind of glass that can break with a lazy breeze.

  I tried to kill myself by slitting my arm open for Pete’s sake and I was still here. Two fucking cardboard boxes and a crappy chair are not going to do the job!

  When Ocean extends his arm to help me up, god only knows how badly I want to take it. My heart wanted me to take it, but I let my body react out of old habit by pushing him away.

  He has become great at ignoring my attempts to push him away, practically immune to my attitude. After what I did to myself, I don’t think he’ll ever give in to walking away when I know without a doubt he’d like to strangle me for being reckless.

  I asked him and Law to put these damn boxes away! This was the third day the boxes were left here. I wasn’t going to ask Dulce because that was petty of me. I know she wouldn’t think so if I would have asked, but I did.

  I wasn’t handicapped...just a little damaged-alotta damaged actually-but definitely not handicapped!

  “It’s okay prima. Get dinner started without me.�
�� I wipe my hands on my pants and turn to walk out the back exit in silence.

  I already loaded my bags and laptop in Ocean’s car, so I was ready to go. Ocean always locked up with Law, giving me some time to cool down.

  Walking around the building for the fifth round, I find Dulce sitting on the tailgate of Law’s truck and swinging her legs. I make my way over to her and join her, swinging my legs back and forth next to hers.

  “Beja, you could have asked me for help. I know you don’t like to, but that’s what prima’s are for you know.”

  I look up into the darkening skies. “I know prima, but you were on the phone. Ocean and Law were busy and I’m not made out of glass. Dulce, I don’t know what it is but ever since Ocean’s mom popped back into town, I haven’t been feeling good about myself-or at least I think it’s me. I try to be positive. I try to look forward to the good things in my life right now; which is our new family we’ve become, but I feel like something bad is coming. It’s right around the next corner I turn. Waiting-it's just waiting."

  Dulce drops her arm around my shoulders and pulls me in for a hug, kissing my cheek. “Don’t worry. We won’t let anything happen to each other. Ocean made me sign a contract to protect you with my life. I tried to get a waiver since Law thinks he’s my man and all, but they weren’t having any of that.”

  I burst out laughing because Ocean and Law would both do some crazy shit like that. She was probably telling the truth by joking about it. We both laughed, cracking jokes about the guys until both Law and Ocean appeared in front of us ready to go.

  Ocean extends his hand out to me again and this time, I take it without a fight. He pulls me off the tailgate and into his arms. His spicy and salty smell smother my senses on contact. I hug him back, wrapping my arms around his torso as we say our see-you-laters to Law and Dulce, heading to his Range parked only a few feet away.

  Ocean opens my door, inching me inside when I turn against him to look up at him. He is freshly showered with his damp, dirty blond curls airing out. His face is calm, but his eyes are anything but; they’re raging into me.

  His salt and spice smell drifts into my nose, infiltrating my lungs and body and waking me up all over again. He wears a Jordan’s outfit with his two favorite colors red and black to match his sneakers, of course also Jordan’s.

  I grab a handful of his shirt, pulling him into me. His hands brace themselves on the roof of his Range as I stretch my body allowing my lips to meet with his. I kiss him soft and slow, apologizing for pushing him away.

  He refused to open his mouth to allow me to taste his tongue, so I settle for kissing his pouty and extremely full lips. Oh how I loved my Tom Hardy lips!

  “Ocean. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. One minute I’m happy, the next I want to go Texas chainsaw massacre on everyone. Sorry.”

  No response. He just stands there looking at me like he does when I speak Portuguese to him on purpose. Like other occasions, he was starting to make me feel self-conscious the way he’s been noticeably watching me like a hawk. I was honestly starting to feel like he was noticing things about me that he hadn’t noticed before; things he never saw in me before and has suddenly realized he doesn’t like.

  “Why are you always watching me? Is there something wrong with me? Have I changed? Do you not like what you see in me anymore, Ocean?”

  I know I can ask him these questions now. He always gives me things straight up…no chasers. The smile on his face quells my insecurities, but not by much. I need to hear his words.

  “Baby, you are the only woman I am ever going to want. Stop being insecure, it’s not like you. I watch you because you amaze me, you take my breath away, and make me hard as fuck when I look at you.”

  I look around the parking lot to see the empty darkening lot around us. The lighting is terrible where we're parked so I give into the desires that Ocean is unknowingly pulling out of my soul. I pull at the hem of my sports top swiftly pulling it over my head, tossing it onto the floor of the car. I then hook my thumbs on the hip of my pants and push them down, kicking off my sneakers along with him.

  When I look down at myself, I hadn’t noticed before but my breasts are swollen and tender. I figured my period was starting soon so I didn’t want to waste time. I jump back onto the passenger seat opening my legs slowly, keeping my eyes on Ocean.

  The veins in his arms immediately bulge from gripping the roof of his car so tightly. He looks down at me hungrily but not at my face, breasts, or in between my legs. Ocean's eyes are trained on my stomach.

  As if he just made up his mind to react, he reaches for me, lifting me up and out of the car, pressing me close to his body. He walks us around to the back of the Range pulling the hatch open. Once it swings open, he flips the lever that makes the back seats fall forward while gently laying me down on my back.

  He pulls off his shirt, showing off his more than perfectly cut body. His six-pack has now beautifully transformed into an eight pack within a couple days from training with the guys. Jealous much? Hell yes! The V cut of his waist is also more defined and has become lethally dangerous to my eyes and possibly to my health—definitely to my health.

  Does everyone our age have as much sex as we do? God I hoped so, because he was just too damn delicious not to devour every day. I moan just at the sight of him.

  He pulls down his basketball shorts, letting his cock spring free and my legs open wider for him. I feel my wetness pool and spill onto the surface beneath me. I watch him as his whiskey colored eyes run up my parting legs. He hisses deep in his throat, watching my wetness leak out of me. “Baby if I hurt you, tell me to stop. Please.”

  I narrow my eyes, silently thinking of why he would say such a thing. Ocean is the definition of gentle with me when we make love and when I tell him I want him to fuck me like a rock star, he turns into the well-defined definition of the word FUCK! That is the word fuck in all capital letters…bold capital letters.

  He climbs on top of me, settling in between my legs rubbing the already weeping tip of his dick on my pulsing and throbbing clit. “Ocean you can’t hurt me, just love me.”

  He enters me as I speak, filling me quickly hitting my core that desperately pulls and grabs at his length. His lips find their home on his sweet spot on my neck as he rhythmically pounds into me. “Baby, you wouldn’t keep anything from me would you?”

  I grab onto his shoulders as he pulls out slowly, only to enter me at an angle causing a sharp pain to rip through my belly. I tighten around him as he pushes in deeper, scooping the back of my knee into the crook of his elbow. I shake my head at his question, but of course, it isn't good enough. It’s never enough. Ocean needs words-or rather my screams-as confirmation.

  “I can’t hear you Livie.” He pulls out, slamming into me from a different angle while violently sucking my neck.

  I scream from the combined assault. “No! N-n-o Ocean!”

  His lips find mine, devouring me on the spot. Ocean finishes me off, sending my body into several convulsions of orgasm. He prolongs his own release by breaking me from the inside out.

  With each orgasm that rips through my body, I feel myself slip further into a deep and sedated trance. Ocean is sucking the energy out of me, putting me to sleep as he does nearly every night and it’s the most amazing feeling in the world.

  ҉҉҉҉

  I remember being carried into our home, being greeted by Dulce chasing Law around with a can of tomato sauce, and Ocean showering me and putting me to sleep. Right now, however, I feel too wired to sleep.

  I quietly sneak out from Ocean’s hold in bed. Slipping his shirt over me, I tip-toe out of the bedroom. It won’t be long before he senses I’m not wrapped tightly in his arms and wakes up looking for me, but I needed to move.

  As I close the door behind me, I pull at his t-shirt. It’s mandatory we sleep naked according to Ocean and it honestly is the best bedroom rule ever. Months ago I would have never imagined being so carefree with my b
ody, allowing someone else to see me and my scars. I had to remind myself that month’s ago, I did not have Ocean and his family in my life.

  I opened the fridge, quickly shutting it, and moving on to the freezer. I grabbed the tub of cookie dough ice cream along with the biggest spoon I could find.

  Walking past the counter, I grab a bottle of water and an open bag of Cheetos. Lately, I’ve been finding myself doing a lot out of character things like this. It’s starting to drive me mad.

  Ever since the ‘Ice Queen’ Sabrina-Ocean’s mother-showed up, my world has been dumped upside down again. I thought my suicide attempt was the hardest thing I faced in my life… and that was very true until the day she came back.

  Ocean flipped like I’ve never seen before. It took weeks for him to come back to me. I remember on the last day of his ‘self-torture’ mission, finding him in our bathroom with coke spread all over the counter. He’d thought I went out for dinner with Law and Dulce. That day I lied and came back home early.

  I nearly beat the shit out of him for even going there when he had me, but now I knew how he felt when I turned to slitting my wrist. Risking never coming back to him instead of seeking help from him. It hurt like a bitch!

  He’s been clean ever since; thank God. After I admitted him into detox, that is. I rode that tsunami wave with him and he came out better than I could have ever imagined. All I have to do is threaten to give him the promise ring on my finger back and that straightens him right up.

  I grab the remote as I plop myself on the sectional couch with my junk food and start flipping through the channels. Everyone here sleeps like dead horses so I know no one will be waking up soon. I turn up the volume a little more.

  I’m not one for watching TV, but the Bringing Home Baby show catches my eye. I put the remote down and watch as I eat my Cheetos and ice cream. My eyes are watching the show, but my mind is wandering and plunging into dangerous territory as it always does when I'm left with my ridiculous thoughts.

  I think about the letter from my mom that I still haven’t opened. My dad and the way he was taken from me so terribly and suddenly. I also think about the baby sister that Ocean does not want to know at all.