Chapter Twelve
Ocean
Breathe. Ocean. Breathe.
“Right, left, left, upper cut, switch.”
“Left, right, right, cross, switch.”
“Right, left, cross, jab, knee.”
“I think the punching bag might press charges if you keep that up, Ocean.” Liv’s voice tore through my thoughts as I continued to attack the punching bag.
With a grunt, I responded. “Isn’t that what they’re made for?”
“Ocean stop! Talk to me, please.”
Fuck that after the heart to heart she and Law had, they probably had shit all figured out. I kept going, feeling her eyes butchering me from the door behind me.
“Right, left, cross, right.”
“Kick, jab, cross, right, kick.”
“Okay, let’s see if you can ignore me from this angle.”
Out of nowhere, Liv popped up behind the punching bag right before I landed a high kick sending it flying straight towards her on the chain. Time moved in slow motion as she braced her hands in front of her, sidestepping the bag so it wouldn’t hit her in the stomach.
“THE FUCK?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! ARE YOU TRYING TO HURT YOURSELF OR ME?! DAMN IT LIVIE!”
The door to the room flew open as Santi and Law barged in as I watched them through the mirrors on the opposite side of the wall.
“GET THE FUCK OUT!”
Santi left without hesitation while Law hovered at the door.
“LAW, GET THE FUCK OUT!”
He looked at Liv and she motioned for him to leave. I walked around the punching bag to stand in front of Liv. Her left hand was shaking against the bag as she looked up at me with a blank, emotionless expression. “Why did you do that?”
“I wouldn’t have had to do anything if you would have stopped and talked to me like I asked you to do, Ocean.”
I looked at the tiny woman standing in front of me and I could have kissed her for being so brave or yelled at her for being so stupid. The anger inside of me turned into admiration for the woman I just took as my wife and instantly I felt like I already let her down. “I’m listening baby.”
“Good, because I’m actually done talking. I’m going back to the front office and finish the work I started, along with my Twizzlers. When we get home, if I feel like talking then we’ll talk.” She turned to walk away from me but my hand instinctively grabbed her arm, pulling her back to me.
Still no expression or emotion on her face, something I’ve never seen her do before. I couldn’t let her go without knowing what was spinning webs in that beautifully stubborn head of hers. “I can’t let you leave like this and you know it. So please talk. I’m listening.”
She pulled her arm free from my grip, wrapping her arms around me and holding me tight as she pressed her ear to my bare chest.
I stood there for a few seconds, contemplating what the hell could have her in such shock that she was acting like this.
Liv was either happy or angry. She was never void or expressionless.
I closed my arms around her hugging her back. “Baby, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”
“Ocean, you have to stop and listen. You need to open your eyes to what is going on around you. I get your hurt, I get that you don’t want certain people in your life, but that’s not the bigger picture or the point. Did you know that Law and Dulce are going to see a fertility specialist next week to see what their options are? Do you know how hard it’s going to be for me to walk around parading in front of them with my growing belly, knowing they’re desperately trying to achieve what we so easily and selfishly created? It’s not fair Ocean…it hurts me so much to know the sadness and anger I know they must be feeling is haunting them. You’ve left Law to deal with a family issue, Ocean. His mother’s been calling him, panicking over Sabrina and the baby. She keeps bringing her in with complaints that something is wrong just because she isn’t exactly like Stormie. I think we need to do something. Law doesn’t know what to do. You need to face this head on and we’ll all be here with you as you do. Just get your shit together and let’s do what’s right.”
She pulled away from me, leaving me standing still alone and empty as she made her way towards the door.
Turning back to take one last glance at what she probably felt was her weak husband she whispered. “I love you, Ocean.”
The door closed behind her and I felt all the air in the room leave with her. Fuck. Law hadn’t mentioned anything to me about that, he usually tells me shit like that. I’m not fucking physic, I can’t read the assholes mind. I mean I’ve been in another universe ever since finding out that Liv and I were having twins, but fuck I was still here and still present.
I turned around to face the tall mirrors, looking at my reflection. Funny how when you actually look in the mirror, what you expect to see is never actually what you’re looking at. For every blessing, every happy moment in my life with Liv, Law and Blue, I was sinking further and further into a lonely and dark abyss of nothingness.
No matter what I did or what I vowed to do for the woman of my dreams, this black cloud was forever hovering and suffocating me. I mean—what did everyone want from me? I want nothing to do with Sabrina and I absolutely mean it. Nothing good can come out of letting her back into my life; seeing what she did by having a replacement baby was proof of that.
However, Liv had a point about that baby. It wasn’t her fault she was born into her madness and sickness, but what the hell was I supposed to do? I couldn’t save myself from my own shit. Why does everyone assume I can save someone else? Other than Liv because that was different.
I took a deep breath, not knowing what to do, how to respond, or what to say. I turned my back to the mirror that was showing me a person I didn’t even recognize or want to get to know to get back to work with my guys.
For now, I’d just finish out my day and deal with my PROBLEMS later.
҉҉҉҉
I walked out of the room on the mission to drown myself into training my fighters and that’s exactly what I did. Four hours and fifteen minutes later when the bunch of grown ass men started whining like two year olds, I called it quits. Even Law joined in on my one on one training with the guys. In the end, I believe the physical exertion was exactly what everyone needed, especially Law.
Liv watched me from afar; I knew she was itching to work out and train again but for that, I had other physical activities that would keep that body tight. Seven 0’clock came faster than I expect. Now I had the time to sit down with my family and figure out what to do about my so called family issues.
“Night O!”
“Night, remember eat like a king, no alcohol, and pussy in moderation. Tomorrow we are working on wrestling locks and holds.” The guys erupted into laughter, but I was dead serious.
“Okay, you guys can fuck all night if you want to. When your legs give out on you and I’m putting you on your asses repeatedly, don’t start crying like little bitches.”
More laughter filled the studio and I joined them this time. Until I felt the heated stare coming from my hormonal Zena goddess. I cleared my throat, walking the guys out and trying to not laugh while walking past her.
And she thinks I’m going to be the hard-ass.
I stayed outside, standing on the curb of the building after the guys jumped in their rides and took off. The night was getting cool and a good breeze was blowing, soothing my heated skin. I closed my eyes taking in the feel of the cool wind caressing my chest, back, and face. It was almost as soothing as Liv’s touch…almost.
In the distance, I heard a car approaching but I didn’t care to know who it was. The people I cared about most aside my father and Aunt, were inside so I stood still and calm.
Heat from a car’s engine that stopped way too close to me forced me to open my eyes.
Sabrina jumped out of a mid-sized sedan to stand in front of me. Her face looking worn down with bags under her eyes. Her brown hair was pulled into a lose ponytail, the hin
t of my deceased sister’s frown playing on her face instantly making me angry knowing that Stormie resembled anything of her. The only thing that kept my feet planted and my fists balled at my sides were the painful cries of a baby.
“Son.”
I shook my head from side to side, slowly refusing to acknowledge her as my mother. Livie I needed Livie. My head was swimming with anger and I was about to unleash it if…
“Ocean!” Liv’s voice fastened the loose ends of my irrational thoughts of lashing out on Sabrina.
I felt small hands pry my balled fists open then pull my arms around her body resting them on her ass as she looked up at me. She pressed her body into mine, melting into me and nothing other than Liv existed in my world. The smile she gave me worked it’s way into my frantic heart, seizing hold of it, forcing her calm and strength into it.
“Ocean. Breathe. Clear your head and see the bigger picture, baby. That’s it, relax. I’m here. We all are.”
I turned my head to see Law holding Dulce back. Looks like I wasn’t the only one wanting to give Sabrina all the reason to jump back into her car and haul ass out of this parking lot.
“Ocean, you can’t keep-“
“Excuse me! Give him a goddamn minute and what is wrong with her? Why is she screaming like that?” Liv spun around in my arms, breaking free from me to peek into the backseat window.
“She’s fine! Just fussy.”
Liv’s head snapped back in Sabrina’s direction, giving her a death glare. Sabrina took a step back; which was a smart move on her part.
“That is not a fussy baby. You should know that!” She yanked the car door to open it, but it was locked. “OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!”
I watched Liv as she completely took over the situation and my pride swelled. In a daze, Sabrina unclenched her car keys in hand and unlocked the door. Liv yanked the door open, working the car-seat clip and buckles, carefully pulling the tiny-and I mean tiny-baby girl out.
From head to pink bootie, she was the length of my forearm extending down to my fingertips. Watching Liv, I could already see how gentle, loving, and kind she’s going to be with our babies…my babies.
As soon as Liv brought the tiny thing up to her chest, the baby stopped screaming. Her face was red with no sign of tears on her pudgy features, just annoyance. Damn she must have been pissed. I hated to admit it, but she was a cute baby. With a full head of strawberry blond hair and deep blue eyes from what looked like from here, she was freaking cute.
Liv turned to face me holding her and I wanted to reach out to touch them both, but I could not move yet. She rocked and soothed the baby in her arms protectively as her tiny hands and fingers played in Liv’s long silky hair, becoming captivated by the silk strands.
From nowhere, Dulce rushed past me to stand next to Liv goggling at the baby she was holding and Law’s shoulder bumped into mine.
When I looked at him, he looked just as stunned as I was. He smiled at me, letting me know that he was here with me too and I dropped my shoulders a little to relax the tension in them.
I cleared my throat, ripping my eyes away from my wife to look at a defeated and confused looking Sabrina. “Yeah, I’m here. What do you want?”
She looked from Liv to her baby, then back to me before answering. “You haven’t been returning my calls Ocean. You should answer when your mother calls. What if I was in danger or needed help? You are the only one I can count on.”
I looked at the deranged woman standing in front of me, shifting her weight nervously from foot to foot. Either she needed a first class admission to a psych-ward or she was shooting some serious heroin up those ice-cold veins.
“Excuse me?” I asked her in disbelief. “You really think I would give you the satisfaction of being your shoulder to lean on when you fuck up, when you walked out on me—your son; the same son that begged you not to leave when he needed you the most? YOU walked away from your family; it’s not the other way around. Any trouble you find yourself in, sorry, I’m not here to save you. If I were you, I would call your ex-husband for shit like that. I’m not the one and I’m no longer your son. “
She laughed nervously, looking at Liv again with a twitch in her upper eyelid. I swear this woman was on some heavy ass drugs.
I elbowed Law in the arm. “Call my dad.”
He stepped back, pulling out his phone and keeping an eye on Sabrina. She was strung out…on what I had no idea, but even as fucked up as I was I wasn’t about to let her take this baby anywhere in her condition. “You’ve always been so stubborn Ocean. You can’t run from me forever. I made a mistake, so what?! It’s not the worst someone could do!”
Wow! She really went there!
“Oh yeah…” I said, stepping in closer. “So what’s the worst someone could do? Let me guess, get high, take their twin sister out on a street bike in the middle of the night, crash, and kill her? Does that sound about right? Did I sum it the fuck up for you?”
Her breathing was growing erratic as her eyes darted everywhere and nowhere.
Law came back to my side. “He’s on his way and apparently she called him saying she was dropping the baby off somewhere.”
The anger I felt when she first jumped out of the car before Liv came out was racing through my constricting veins again. I stepped forward again to get in this crazy bitch’s face when Liv intercepted me, pressing her back into my chest hard using her legs to push back against the pavement because I stepped forward with force I had to hold her back by her hips to not push her and the baby into Sabrina.
At the abrupt movement, the baby started crying again. I peeked down Liv’s shoulder taking in the baby again. Her eyes were fixed on me as she pulled on the knot of hair she had fisted in her hand. I have seen women become annoyed with babies when they did the hair-pulling thing especially because their grips were so strong, but Liv could have cared less.
As I looked down at my…sis…the baby, the name Scarlet popped into my mind. Her cheeks were rosy and chubby. That name suited her better than Stormie because no one, not even a baby of the same mother and father could recreate my sister. She was one of a kind—an angel.
“Sabrina, do you have a bottle? She’s hungry and needs to eat.” Liv’s tone was clipped and to the point.
I tried not to bad mouth the woman that used to be a mother to me too badly in front of her, but I knew Liv hated her. Liv hated her for what she did and how she left me.
“Just give her to me. She’s not hungry. It’s not time for her to eat yet.” Sabrina reached her hands to Liv for her baby back, but she didn’t budge.
Blue walked around the Nissan Murano, opening the car door and pulling out a pink Minnie Mouse diaper bag. In it was a bottle she pulled out and handed to Liv. Before Liv could even grab it, Scarlet was reaching for it with her uncoordinated tiny hands.
Oh shit. I just called her Scarlet. Fuck!
“That’s not what she asked.” Blue said, winking at Sabrina and making her face flush with anger.
Liv and Blue were fucking tag teaming her and I was enjoying every moment of it.
The sound of tires screeching took all of our attention as we watched my father’s Harley Davidson Edition truck come to a forced stop next to Sabrina’s car. He pushed the door open, slamming it behind him hard once the engine was cut. My dad was a teddy bear, but when he was pissed; the bastard was pissed.
Anyone that didn’t know him personally would think him to be a straight up mad man. He was tall, a couple inches taller than I was and even in his age, he was fit and lean. Nothing to play around with, because he could still easily put me on my ass without breaking a sweat.
As he walked around the car, he cleared his throat running his hands through his salt and peppered hair. “Sabrina, can you tell me what the fuck you’re doing? You call, go off in a rant, hang up, and now you’re at my son’s studio harassing him?!”
The boom of his voice startled Scarlet as her pink lips let go of the bottles nipple to scream out in annoyance
again.
Temperamental much? Fuck, I called her Scarlet again!
“You mean our son?! He’s not just yours to parade around and show off. Ocean is MINE TOO!”
I choked when she screamed the words because it was total bullshit. If I was her precious son that she was all of a sudden trying to make me out to be, she wouldn’t have FUCKING LEFT IN THE FIRST PLACE!
My father rolled his eyes at her, folding his arms over his chest. “Whatever! What is that you want?”
She took a step toward him and he took a step back. “Stop! What do you want Sabrina?”
Man, I’ve never seen my father act this way towards her. Even when she left, he still talked about her like he worshipped her.
“I came back for my family.” Her voice was low and broken.
“Yeah well you should have thought about that shit three years ago when you left your son hurt and broken as well as your husband. Own it Sabrina. You fucked up. We don’t accept your fake ass apologies. So again, what do you want?”
The tears finally came and she started crying dramatically. “I just needed help with Stormie. She stays up all night, doesn’t sleep during the day, and she hates me. I’m convinced she hates me!”
That last statement made me laugh and I didn’t hide it. “I don’t blame her.”
“Well you certainly cannot pawn your baby off to other people forcefully and where the hell is her father? She does have one or did you go to a sperm bank?”
Her silence confirmed that she went to a sperm bank even though my father was asking sarcastically. She didn’t have to voice it because it was written in bold italics all over her ugly face as she looked at her baby in another woman’s arms.
“Jesus Sabrina!” My dad finally looked at me and I could see he was starting to crack.
“Dad, can I talk to you for a minute? You too Law.”
I walked backwards, stepping up onto the curb as they followed me. We all faced the women in the darkening parking lot as Sabrina continued her nervous shifting and fidgeting. “Dad, we have to do something. I don’t feel comfortable letting her leave with Scarlet…the baby.”
Hawthornes Calm Manuscript Page 10
