Breaking to Breathe

by Lisa N. Paul

  “Oh, Angel, I’ll warm you up.” His dimple appeared again. “From the inside out. Don’t worry about that. I’ll do things to you you’ve never done before. I’ll have you…” The dimple deepened as his cockiness grew. While alarms weren’t ringing, red flags did start popping up, and she knew it was time to rein this bad boy in.

  She stepped into him. At six feet tall in her heels, their bodies aligned in all the right places, making it hard not to notice when he pulled in a deep breath but didn’t release it. The knowledge of how her closeness affected him made her panties wet with want and her head spin with need. But there was always business to take care of before pleasure, and she needed to set her boundaries if play time was to move any further.

  “Listen here, you sexy, dirty man, I’m certain that you will warm me up. Hell, I’d be willing to bet we could set your bed on fire together. But, and this is a big deal-breaking but, I have rules that I do not ever break. EVER. I can lay them out for you and if you still wanna do those big, bad things to me that you think I’ve never done before, go ahead. I’m always up for a challenge. If not, I can leave, no harm done. I’ll just go and find someone else who can take the edge off for me. The choice is yours, Kyle.”

  A pregnant silence lingered for a beat or two as he stared mutely into her eyes. Fear that she may have pushed it too far paralyzed her, but after hearing stories about what he was capable of, she’d rather walk away wanting than stay wishing she’d left. If he no longer desired her, as the prolonged silence seemed to assure, then so be it. With her gaze locked on his, she nodded gently and turned to walk away. She’d call Elliot. Hopefully her friend would come back for her, and she wouldn’t have to call for a cab home tonight.

  Kyle stared at her, completely incapable of forming words. Hell, he’d barely been able to breathe. If he still wanted to do things to her? That is what she said, right? Those blunt words coming from her plush lips nearly had him coming in his jeans like a teenager looking through the pages of Hustler magazine. Yes, he wanted her. He more than wanted her. He fucking needed her…now. While he didn’t usually give the chicks he fucked any say during their encounters, he would be willing to make an exception this one time, for this one woman.

  As her words mixed around his slightly inebriated brain, he realized she had turned to leave. She’s leaving, his mind screamed. Stop her. “Okay, let’s hear ‘em, your rules.” Christ, he reeked not just of booze and cigarettes but of desperation.

  With her back to him, he watched as her posture changed from rigid to soft. His own breaths came easier with the thought that perhaps she had hoped he wouldn’t let her leave.

  “Are you sure?” She turned around slowly, her bottom lip pulled into her teeth.

  “Come in from the cold, Angel. I promise not to bite.” With his eyes locked on hers, he extended his hand; the need for physical contact taking on life of its own.

  His dick hardened as he watched the tip of her tongue slide across that same lip, most likely easing the sting caused from her nip, her eyes focused solely on his mouth. “I don’t have a problem with biting, Kyle. In fact, feel free to do it…often.” She entered his apartment, leaving him paralyzed by the entrance.

  Once he was able to move, he closed the front door. He couldn’t take his eyes off the majestic woman studying his apartment. He was thankful as all hell that Janie had convinced him to continue with the cleaning service they’d hired after his accident. Lord knows he would have never wanted her in his place six months prior. Nothing in that moment felt real until he clicked the lock. The sound of the dead bolt seemed to have stunned the woman, causing her formerly languid body to tense up once again.

  “You okay?” It wasn’t the question he asked that surprised him, but the fact that he actually cared about the answer.

  “I’m fine.” Short and sweet. Exactly how he liked his chicks to answer his questions. So why did he want her to elaborate? He needed to pull himself together. No feelings, no emotions. Just fucking in the finest order.

  “So your rules? Let’s discuss them, Sweet Tits.” Gah, he wanted to slap himself for that line. Christ, he was such an asshole. But she just looked at him and…laughed. She laughed. And as the sweet, melodic sound came from deep inside her, Kyle began to relax as well. He hadn’t allowed himself to relax with a chick in… well…ever. It had always been about the performance. The game. The humiliation. Women are good for only one thing, Kyle. They have holes for one reason. They want to be treated like whores, treat them that way. Your mother’s a whore, as is every woman you will ever meet. Treat them that way, and you will never be without pussy. Treat them well, and they’ll leave you. You’re already worthless…once they learn that, they’ll split. His father’s words rang in his ear as clear as each of his father’s reminders marred his body.

  “Your whole body tensed-up just now. Are you sure you want to do this?” The lightness and humor that had been in her eyes just seconds ago was replaced with an emotion he couldn’t name. It reminded him of uncertainty and fear. The same feelings he used to have when he’d hear the front door open, aware it was his dad coming home from the bar. He never knew if the night would lead to feeding Nixon dinner or protecting him from their father’s beating. The uncertainty was just as bad as the physical pain.

  He stood trapped in his memory until he realized she was reaching for her bag and heading for the door. Panicked, he started blabbering. God, he hated people that did that. “Yes, I’m sure I wanna do this. Your laugh…it’s sexy and it made me think of times from my past. I didn’t mean to, you know, disappear like that. It won’t happen again; you have my full attention.” What the fuck? Did aliens invade my brain? Even with those questions rolling around in his head, he didn’t care. He refused to give up an opportunity to be with the only pure thing that had ever entered his life.

  He was so beautiful yet clearly so bent—much like herself yet different. Cate could see the chess match playing out internally as Kyle seemed to weigh and measure his every play—moving forward one step only to slide over, fearful of his next big move. Over the years, she’d learned how to read people pretty well, and she didn’t think he’d do anything to hurt her, but he was a man who was fighting demons that could rival her own. He was the proverbial kicked puppy, with the sad eyes and the short temper.

  She could see how women would try to change him, heal him, or fix him. She was not that girl. She just wanted him to sink into her for a few hours. She wanted to lose herself in the strength of the man who stood before her. The man that should have died but fought to continue to live. She needed this, needed him, and she didn’t want to wait any longer.

  “So here are my hard lines: after the clothes come off, the lights do as well—all of them, no exceptions. I don’t do binding, ever. That includes ties, ropes, shirts, or articles of clothing of any kind. You try to take away my hands or legs and I will end things immediately, and you will not be happy with the way it goes down. Also, I may be kinky and a little dirty,” she ran her eyes down his body and back up, resting them on his, “but you will not demean me in any way. I am your equal. Not your bitch, your whore, your slut, or your cum-catcher. Got it?”

  With her hands resting on her hips, she tried to appear calm and collected, but inside she was shaking. She usually told men about the lights and the binding, but never had she added the part about the words she didn’t like. However, after hearing what the ladies at Danny’s had to say about the devilish man she was about to give her body to, she felt it necessary to add the addendum. Jesus, who spoke the way he did? And what kind of women allowed it?

  Emerald eyes grew wide before narrowing into slits. He rubbed his hand over the five o’clock shadow that peppered his jaw but said not a word. His thoughts were a mystery until that dimple sank deeply into his cheek. “Cum-catcher? Really?” His laugh, a deep boom, erupted from his belly and radiating warmth through his every pore. “I like that one. I’ll have to use it.” Clearing his throat, he smiled and added, “But n
ot tonight, of course.” Cutting the distance between them by half, he stood no more than a few inches away. The weight of his hands on her shoulders felt decadent as he slowly slid her coat down her arms.

  His green orbs focused on her, more steady than they’d been at the bar. Perhaps the cold air and short walk had helped to sober him up a bit. What she did notice was this man was no longer looking at her but trying to see into her, and the worst part was, she wasn’t sure he knew he was doing it. It was that regard, that interest, which reminded her of the last rule in her arsenal. One she rarely had to state but held on to just in case. “Kyle, there’s one last thing you need to agree to before we do…” She motioned between them, “this.”

  The smile faltered on his handsome face as he rolled his eyes and sighed. “Go on.”

  Her gut clenched as her fingernails dug into her palms. “You need to understand that this is a one night deal. No trading phone numbers, no late night booty-calls, and no dates. This, you and I, will never happen again. Am I clear?”

  “Wow,” He exhaled loudly, “we were doing just fine until that last part.” He ran his fingers through his short, espresso-colored hair before closing the remaining distance between them. Electricity surged through her body the moment his knuckles stroked her jaw line with a whisper soft touch. “Angel, I thought you’d been paying attention back there at the bar. I know you saw the pie-eyed little girl who was begging me for another night.” Cate wanted to be disgusted by the smug look on his face and the cockiness in his voice, but a small part of her enjoyed watching him forget all about the woman the minute she walked up to him. “I only do one-night-stands. I’m not the guy who calls, texts, or dates. I don’t need to chase the chicks, sweetheart. You wanna know why?” With his lips brushing the outer shell of her ear and his words sending warm breath down her neck, her skin erupted with goose bumps, making a shiver impossible to hide. Cate’s mouth grew dry leaving her to answer his question with a silent nod.

  She could hear the smile in his voice as he whispered, “Because they all come to me, just like you did tonight.” He punctuated his sentence with a slow lick to the lobe of her ear.

  As his words sank in, Cate knew them to be nothing more than the truth, but the man was incorrigible. “Fuck you, Kyle.” Her voice sounded wanton even to her own ears, but she no longer wanted to play hard to get.

  “That’s what I’ve been trying to do since we walked in here,” he retorted hungrily. In a flash, all traces of awkwardness and hesitation were gone, replaced with heat, desire, and need. “You finally ready?”

  Nothing in his dreams could have prepared him for that moment. The second his lips touched hers, all life’s chaos melted away, leaving the simple act of kissing her erotic beyond reason. She was like no other woman he’d ever met before. Her lips were plump and soft, but not slicked with lip gloss or sticky shit. They were warm and inviting with just a hint of flavor, and he wanted more.

  Within minutes of being in his house, she had him breaking every rule he’d ever made with every other woman, and he couldn’t care less. None of it mattered while his hands were on her body.

  Kyle threaded his fingers through the massive amounts of wavy auburn hair, gripping her scalp while flattening his left hand around her back and pressing her body close to his. He reveled in the soft moans escaping her throat as he tugged on the soft tresses causing her lips to part and allowing him to deepen their kiss by sliding his tongue into her warm mouth. The fire between them had ignited, yet not an article of clothing had been removed. He needed to remedy that and quick.

  “I assume you’re staying for a while?” While his voice exuded confidence, a part of him still feared she would leave, a feeling Kyle had never once felt in his adult life. Women don’t leave you, Marx, he told himself. You toss them out. So get a grip, man. Taking control of the situation, that was how he worked through his fears. “Red…” She looked at him when he spoke, lust blooming on her flushed cheeks and desire filling her gaze. “If you plan on staying, strip.”

  Uncertain how she would react to his barked command, but knowing it was too late to take it back, he turned his back to her and walked from the living room to his bedroom, hoping she would follow.

  “Hey, dirty man,” she called out. He stopped walking but didn’t turn to face her. “I guess I can stick around for a little while.” Humor laced her tone. “But do you really wanna miss me peeling off my clothes?” With his back to her, it was easy to hide the relief that showed on his face and the fact that her invitation had him harder than cinderblocks. For once, he was speechless, but it didn’t matter, because she continued to tease him with her words.

  “I’ve been told that I have a pretty kick-ass body.” By the sound of her voice, she had moved across the room and stood close behind him. She reached around and ran her palms down his broad chest and over his tight abdomen. Her words played in his ear, mimicking the way he spoke to her just moments earlier. “But I don’t know, since you have your back to me, maybe I should just strip once the lights are off.” Cate circled in front of him, her back now facing the inside of his bedroom and her chest pressed against his. “What do ya think?”

  Kyle wasn’t sure which action stole his breath, the step she put between them or the slow methodical way she undid each button on her fitted blouse. The bedroom was dimly lit, only a lamp by the bed glowed in an otherwise dark room. Even so, his eyes were instantly drawn to her firm breasts covered in what looked like the softest of lace. None of the cheap crap his usual lovers wore. The black fabric that caressed her perfect alabaster skin sent sparks straight to his dick. Like liquid, the blouse slid off her shoulders, landing whisper soft on the hardwood floor. She stood there silently, in her heels, slacks, and bra, peeking at him through her lashes. She was a sexy he’d never experienced in his thirty-four years; a kind he hadn’t believed existed.

  “Are you bored?” She asked with a devilish grin, pulling at her soft mouth. Her eyes lowered to his noticeable erection as the tip of her tongue slid slowly over her bottom lip.

  “No, Angel, I’m far from bored, and you’re far from naked.”

  “So I am,” she agreed, easily reaching for the button on her slacks. Once the pants hit the floor, she stepped out of them and was left covered in nothing more than a lacy bra, the matching black thong, and the hottest pair of fuck-me heels he had ever seen up close. Funny, he hadn’t even noticed her shoes before.

  “What’s the matter, Kyle? Cat got your tongue?” The sparkle in her eyes was melting him.

  “Not quite yet,” His gaze roamed to the small triangle of fabric covering her core, “but it will soon.” His overly embellished wink had her giggling. He was actually enjoying this time with her—this foreplay, something that was usually a means to an end with his other interludes, had become an erotic moment that he relished with his red-headed angel. What the hell was going on? Shaking his head to relieve the confusion must have aroused her attention.

  “Are you with me?” She had a look in her eyes. He wasn’t certain what it was, but he knew that it wasn’t fear, sadness, or pity. So yeah, he was with her. He wanted her with a fierceness he couldn’t describe.

  “Yeah, Red, I’m with you. Let’s get our fuck on.”

  Laughing? She was laughing at him. Again? What the fuck?

  “Do girls actually fall for that line?” She asked, not bothering to hide her astonishment. Maybe Janie, Ashley, and Lyla were right…those girls did deserve what they got. She just wanted a night filled with hot sex with an even hotter man; she hadn’t signed up for all of this…talking.

  Cate bit the inside of her lip as she watched Kyle’s jaw work, clenching and releasing. His nostrils flared slightly before he growled, “Yeah, Red, as a matter of fact, that line has worked just fine in the past. Now we gonna fuck or what? Because this seems like a whole lot of chatting for a chick that doesn’t like to date.”

  While some women may have been insulted by his harsh words and hard tone, she found his abili
ty to read her mind almost an aphrodisiac. In an instant, the humor that had been volleyed between them was extinguished like a small flame, and replaced with heat of a whole other kind.

  Reaching over to turn off the table lamp, she saw Kyle’s questioning look. “Remember, no lights.”

  “Why, Angel? You said it yourself, and I couldn’t agree more, you’ve got a bangin’ body. I wanna watch as my dick slides into you.” Kyle’s voice was husky as he tried to remove her hand from the lamp switch.

  Her stomach roiled. “Hard line, remember.” Her reminder was firm though her hand trembled slightly as she mentally prepared how the next step would play out. Forcing calmness she didn’t feel, she stepped closer to him, pressing her scantly covered skin to his inked body. “I know better things we can do than worry about the lights.” A half grin lifted his mouth as he clicked off the lamp and his warm hands stroked her bare shoulders.

  Between the moonlight and the street lamps, soft light peeked through the window, illuminating the room in a soft glow. In her heels, Cate stood just a few inches shorter than Kyle. Their eyes met, and she was sucked into his gaze. Even in the virtual darkness, those eyes gleamed with sexual promise. An unspoken pledge that he would indeed have her begging by the night’s end, and she was woman enough to admit she had no problem begging if the spoils were worth it.

  He smelled like a mixture of cigarettes, alcohol, and light cologne. None of the scents overpowered, but together they were intoxicating. Running her hand around the nape of his neck, she brought his face closer to her own, turning to press her lips against his cheek. Whiskers from his unshaved face tickled her sensitive skin in the most provocative way.

  “I want you, Kyle.” Her hands reached down to the hem of his tee shirt, sweeping it up his torso. He assisted her by whipping it over his head and tossing it to the growing pile of clothing on the floor. His breath caught in his throat as her palms stroked his chest.