Love Letters: Saving Gideon (The Angel Chronicles Book 4)

by Mary May

  “How can you not be sure? Haven’t you watched their romance grow from the very beginning? You don’t suddenly just stop loving someone, even when they push you away. Not real love…and that’s the kind they have.” Seeing the look that Gideon and Zareck shared over her head, she flung out her hands.

  “Clearly…clearly…it takes a female mind to see what is so plainly obvious!” And with that last statement she stomped down the stairs, leaving the two male warriors shrugging their shoulders.

  Later that week Charlie and Logan were at the local burger joint. Logan was working hard on his bronco burger while Charlie nursed her better-than-anything double chocolate shake. Logan eyed her huge milkshake with amusement. “I don’t have any idea how you’re able to drink all of that. I would go into a diabetic coma.”

  Charlie laughed as she took another long pull on her straw. “There is no such thing as too much chocolate!” Hearing the bell over the door Charlie looked up in delight to see Lakyn heading toward her. Leaping up from her seat she met her best friend halfway down the restaurant. The girls hugged and danced in a small circle.

  “When did you get back into town?” Charlie asked after they finally stopped laughing and squealing.

  “Last night! I’m home for Thanksgiving break. I just went by your place and your folks told me where to find you.” Lakyn looked at Logan with obvious curiosity.

  “Logan, this is my best friend since forever, Lakyn. Lakyn, this is my friend Logan.” Charlie slid back into the booth, scooting over to make room for her friend who immediately stole her milkshake.

  “You are truly a brave soul or perhaps suicidal to come between Charlie and her chocolate. I’ve seen packs of starved wolves guard their food with less voracity.”

  The three sat and chatted for another hour before they headed out to Logan’s truck. Logan stopped and turned to Charlie. “Why don’t you spend the rest of the evening with your friend? I know you two have a lot to catch up on. I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?” After giving her a brief hug he got into his truck and drove away.

  A few minutes later Charlie was sitting in Lakyn’s car. As soon as the door slammed shut, Lakyn pounced. “Ok, out with it! Just who was that?”

  With feigned ignorance Charlie blinked at her. “I told you his name is Logan.”

  Lakyn scowled at her. “I didn’t ask what his name is! I asked who he is…as in who is he to you?”

  Turning her head, Charlie looked out of the window. “I don’t know, Lakyn…and that’s the truth. I know what Logan would like it to be, and sometimes I want that too, but…” She trailed off as she looked helplessly at her friend.

  “But you still love Nate?”

  Nodding her head, she blinked away the rush of tears. “Yes…I still love him, Lakyn…so much that it hurts sometimes! I wish I could forget and move on. Logan is a wonderful man. He deserves more than what I am able to give him right now. Sometimes I feel like I am using him…but I need him so much! It’s so easy being with him. I almost feel normal. I honestly don’t know how I would have made it this far without him. Is that wrong? Does that make me a bad person?”

  “Of course not! Charlie, you are one of the kindest people I know. Logan knows exactly what the situation is with you. Yet he still chose to get involved. I wouldn’t study it too hard and just let it be what it will be, ok? I believe that God moved him into your life for a reason. We can wait to see just what that reason is.” They drove in silence for a few minutes until Lakyn asked if Charlie ever saw Nate’s parents.

  Charlie huffed out a breath, puffing her bangs off her forehead. “Not exactly,” she finally answered.

  “Not exactly? What kind of answer is that? Either you see them or you don’t.” Lakyn pulled her car into their favorite spot at the lake. The ducks and geese were starting to pile in from up north and they were scattered in groups on the murky cold water. Turning to face her friend, Lakyn gave her a pointed look.

  Charlie huffed once more along with a shake of her head. “I don’t know how to explain it. Yes, I’ve seen them, but they act like they don’t see me. I would be telling a huge lie if I said I understood them. Because I don’t… not even a little bit.”

  “Do you think they are calling and checking on Nate? Surely they are, right?”

  At Charlie’s level look her eyes grew wide. “You’re kidding. Nate is their son and their only child! How can they not check on him? Are you certain they don’t?”

  “I speak with Nate’s doctor on a regular basis and I always ask if they have called or come to visit and so far they haven’t. Numerous others have called and visited…but not his parents.”

  Lakyn’s face revealed her dismay. “Poor Nate…I cannot imagine what he must be feeling. Do you speak to him when you call?”

  Charlie stared out the side window watching the waterfowl float on the lake. It was a tranquil scene, unlike the scene in her heart. “No, Nate doesn’t want to talk to me. Somehow…I’ve become the enemy. I tried so hard, Lakie, so incredibly hard to be what he needed, but nothing I did was good enough or right.” Silent tears slipped down her cheek as she looked at her friend, the pain in her heart showing in her eyes.

  “Oh, Charlie…I’m so sorry!” Charlie clung to her best friend as sobs tore up from her stomach. Lakyn held her, rocking gently back and forth, not speaking or offering any words of comfort or advice. There really wasn’t anything she could think to say to ease the heartbreak.

  Chapter 8

  Nate stared at the wheelchair that the nurse had left in his room. He hated it with intensity. His eyes slowly traveled the room that had become his world. The beige walls with the multi-colored border with geometric designs that circled the room. He hated that as well. He heard the sound of nurses talking in the hallway and rattle of the lunch cart bringing yet another tasteless meal. He hated it. He hated every single thing in his life and it seemed to grow stronger by the day. He hated when people called and he hated when they didn’t. Nate simply HATED…

  He had long since given up on his parents showing up or calling to check on him. He knew his mom wouldn’t be able to handle it. Not after the death of his sister.

  Elizabeth, or Ellie, as they called her, was three years old when she died, her little body ravaged by the cancer that the doctors couldn’t stop. The disease destroyed her in a very short amount of time. Eleven months… and four days was all it took. Ellie went from a beautiful precocious toddler with beautiful brown eyes, so much like his, and glossy brown hair, to a thin, emaciated lifeless shell. His mother had prayed nearly every waking moment for God to save her baby. Nate had watched the hope fade from his mother’s eyes as the life faded from his sister’s. He was just a child himself, but even at six years old he understood what was happening. After Ellie’s funeral his mother, for all intents and purposes, stopped living. Oh, her body functioned, but she had buried her heart with her little girl in the pearl pink casket. It took a good two years and his father threatening divorce if she didn’t seek help for her to slowly come back to them. But she wasn’t the same. She tried…Nate had to give her that. She tried to be a good mom to him and a good wife to his dad, but really all she was doing was going through the motions. So when he woke up in the hospital…he already knew that he would be dealing with this without them.

  That thought quickly led to one he had been avoiding. Charlie. He knew she would be here and that she would stay with him until the end of time, but that wasn’t fair to her. She deserved better than the mangled mess he had now become. Lifting his right hand, he looked at the mass of raised skin that was marbled with thick scar tissue. That same marbled skin covered a good deal of his body. Letting his eyes drift down, he saw where his right leg ended just below the knee. That, along with the loss of sight in his right eye, made him pretty much useless in his opinion. Why God didn’t just let him die was a question he had asked a thousand different times in a thousand different ways, but the mighty deity had failed to answer.

  Truthfully, Nate had stopp
ed believing in God a long time ago. What loving God would allow someone as sweet and innocent as Ellie to die such a long painful death? His mother had prayed and believed right up until the very last moments of Ellie’s life. Afterward she never prayed again. They attended church on a regular basis, but that was more for show than anything else. It was what all the “decent” people did. So they went and played the part of a God-fearing family. Up until he met Charlie’s family, he honestly thought that’s what everyone was doing. But the Lanes were different; they truly deeply believed in their God and bestowed that same unshakable faith in Charlie.

  That in itself was a lot of the reason that he had sent her away. He could no longer keep his thoughts to himself when she spoke about God, or agree when she said they should pray over everything. He hadn’t minded Charlie’s deep faith before the crash. It was part of what made Charlie…Charlie. Her optimism and sunny outlook on life drew him like a moth to a flame. He decided he could deal with her religion if it meant he got to be with her. Nate figured as long as he was good to her and treated her like she deserved to be treated it wouldn’t really matter if he didn’t believe exactly the same way she did. It had worked out just fine until his accident. Charlie brought God into the conversation on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. “God will get us through this or God will give us strength or his all-time favorite: God understands your pain!” Nate grimaced as his facial muscles jerked. Nerve damage sometimes caused his face to move without his permission. He seriously doubted Charlie’s God understood anything he was going through, and even if he did, Nate didn’t care…

  Shana watched as Nate sent the meal tray flying across his room with an angry bellow. The nurses had all started drawing straws to see who would have to go in Nate’s room and face his unpredictable mood swings. Some days he would be fairly calm and some days the slightest wrong move would send him into a rage. The poor nurse who had drawn the short straw today ducked as the tray went flying past her head.

  “I said I didn’t like Salisbury steak! I have said this a hundred times! What is so hard to understand about that?” The nurse didn’t even answer; she just scurried out of the room. Shana shook her head at Nate’s terrible behavior. He was lashing out more and more. If this continued, she feared that Dr. Reed would have him removed from the hospital, and he wasn’t anywhere near ready for that. The hell leech was growing bigger and fatter by the day and actually had the nerve to now smirk at Shana as it stroked Nate’s head.

  “Dear Lord…please…You have to do something…” This had become her daily prayer that was repeated often throughout the day. But every day that went by as Nate grew angrier and the slug fatter…Shana felt her hope fade…

  The next morning a new nurse came swinging through the door with a bright smile on her face. Shana felt sorry for the poor, unsuspecting soul. Maybe today would be one of Nate’s “good” days and he wouldn’t be too terrible. The nurse went over to the window and flung back the blinds, allowing the bright California sunshine to stream into the room. The demon at Nate’s side hissed and slithered further back while Nate turned on the nurse with a hate-filled look.

  “Shut the blinds! Now!” he roared. The nurse just walked back to the bed and started straightening the blankets, humming under her breath. Nate’s scowl grew blacker. “Are you deaf? I said to close the blinds!”

  She smiled down at him, placing her fists on her ample hips.

  “Oh, yes, I heard you, Mr. Jackson. I suspect half the hospital heard that bellow; however, this room is entirely too gloomy, so unless you plan on getting out of that bed yourself and closing the blinds, they will remain open.”

  Nate reached for his call button on the side of his bed, pushing the red button several times, but the nurse just looked at him with an amused expression.

  “Maybe I should have told you that because of your…let’s say…less than pleasant personality, I have been assigned to you. So, you can push that button until your thumb wears out or the button falls off -- no one is going to answer it. Now my name is Hattie and I already know your name so all introductions have been made. Besides closing the blinds, which I already told you I wasn’t going to do, is there anything else I can get for you?”

  Nate didn’t reply. He just gave the cheery nurse his death glare. She pulled his covers straight and checked his water pitcher, making sure it was full.

  “No? All right then I will be back in to check on you in an hour or so. If you need me, you know how to call me.” She nodded her head toward the call button that was still clenched in Nate’s fist, then giving him another bright smile she sailed back out the door.

  Shana didn’t know who looked more shocked, Nate or herself. She followed Hattie down to the nurse’s station to see what she could find out about the woman. The other nurses all watched as Hattie updated Nate’s chart.

  “See? Isn’t it terrible?” the nurse called Mandy whispered.

  Hattie nodded sadly. “Yes, I have never seen a heart and soul so full of pain…poor poor man.” Then she walked on down the hall, leaving every nurse at the station staring after her in bewilderment.

  A few hours later Nate’s door swung open again and Hattie was back with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes. “Brought you some lunch, Mr. Jackson. Some good old fried chicken. Now I know you will like that!” She set the tray down on the table next to Nate’s bed, filled up his cup with fresh ice water, then stood back and waited.

  Sure enough, Nate sent the tray flying Hattie’s direction, but she quickly stepped back so it landed harmlessly on the floor at her feet.

  Raising an eyebrow at Nate, she walked back to the door.

  “You know, my son threw hissy fits just like that. When he was two…and I must say…his were more impressive, Mr. Jackson. Perhaps you can do better next time?” Then she smiled and walked out of the room.

  Shana covered her mouth as a snort of laughter threatened to erupt. Just who was this woman?

  Nate waited and waited and waited for someone to bring him something else to eat. His stomach rumbled and growled like an angry beast. Finally the door swung open and Dr. Reed walked in, stepping over the tray that was still in the floor where Nate had tossed it. The doctor made no mention of the tray or its spilled contents. He asked Nate how he was feeling and checked his bandages. He lifted the sheet and looked at the amputation site.

  “Nate, this leg is healing up just fine. There won’t be any reason why you won’t be able to wear a prosthesis.”

  Nate scowled at him. “No reason except that I don’t want to.”

  Dr. Reed wrote some notes on the chart that he held in his hand. “Well, that is completely up to you. You can choose to stay in a wheelchair if you want to, but it won’t be because this leg won’t accept a prosthesis. They have come a very long way in the field of artificial limbs. Some even have hair and tattoos.”

  Nate spoke through clenched teeth. “I said I didn’t want a fake leg! If I can’t have the leg I was born with, then I don’t want anything at all.” The doctor made a few more notes on Nate’s chart then turned to leave.

  “Dr. Reed, have someone bring me something else to eat. I’m hungry.” He nodded then said he would send nurse Hattie in.

  “I don’t like her! Send someone else. As a matter of fact, I don’t want her back in here.”

  Dr. Reed placed Nate’s chart on a counter and walked back over to look Nate in the eye. “Son, you will find that things are changing around here. This is a hospital, not a hotel with room service. Now dinner will be served in a couple of hours; maybe if you had eaten lunch instead of flinging it across the room you might not feel so hungry now.” Then without waiting for Nate to reply he picked up the chart and walked out. He never saw the angry glint in Nate’s eyes as the door closed softly on him and his still-rumbling tummy.

  After what seemed like an eternity, Nate heard the door open again. Hattie came in carrying a tray filled with something that smelled really good. He was so hungry by this point they could have ser
ved Alpo chunks and he wouldn’t have cared. He stayed silent as the disgustingly happy nurse set up his tray and filled his cup once more then asked if there was anything else he needed. Nate shook his head. He just wanted her gone so he could eat! Someone had finally come in and cleaned up the tray that he had spilled earlier. He had a feeling they had left the food on the floor for a reason. Looking at it while his stomach cramped painfully was a lesson in torture. Hattie smiled then waved a cheery little wave and finally left him alone.

  Shana watched as Nate dug into his meal. She knew he was starving. She had been listening to his stomach growl for the last three hours. To borrow Gideon’s favorite expression, she would bet her right wing that he would think twice before tossing the next meal they brought him.

  Chapter 9

  Charlie opened the front door to let Logan in. He was carrying a cloth-wrapped dish and his family stood behind him also holding dishes. She didn’t know what the dishes contained but they smelled wonderful. It was Thanksgiving and she had invited Logan and his family to join them for the special holiday. Sabrina’s dining room was filled to overflowing with friends and family. Carl, Keelie and Kinsley were there, along with Catherine and Evan. Eric and Rachel had made the long trip, just arriving last night. She was standing in the doorway of her kitchen smiling when she felt Luke walk up behind her, placing a warm hand on her shoulder.

  “Hey, Mama, looks like everyone is here.”

  She patted her son’s hand. “Yes, I believe so, sweetie. Dinner is just about ready. We are waiting for Keelie’s sweet meal rolls to brown.”

  Luke’s eyes went dreamy at the mention of Keelie’s delectable rolls. “Man, I hope you made a dozen just for me!”

  Sabrina laughed. “I want at least that many myself!”