by Mary May
An hour later everyone was gathered around the long table. Every head bowed and every eye closed as Devon said grace.
“Heavenly Father, we stand before You as a family and we offer to You our heartfelt thanks for yet another year of Your blessings. We thank You for the safe arrival of family and friends from distant places, and we ask for a safe trip home for them as well. We ask that You bless the hands that prepared this bounty before us, and may we never forget how truly blessed we are. In Jesus’ name we pray…Amen.”
The echoes of amen were all said around the table as everyone scooted their chairs back and sat down. Charlie smiled at Logan, who was seated directly across from her. He had made the trip with her and her parents to Lost Haven a few days ago. Even though they no longer ran the rehab, her parents still went a few times a year to visit and see how it was going. Charlie didn’t really remember Sherrilyn Foster, the woman whom Lost Haven was named after. She knew that it was actually Sherrilyn’s dream to open the center for people who had been abused. Charlie had a few faint memories of a severely-burned woman in a wheelchair. There were pictures, of course, and Sabrina and Devon talked about Sherrilyn so often that she felt like she knew her. What she did remember very well was that she always smelled of jasmine. Sabrina told her it was the scent of the lotion that Sherrilyn had to apply to her burned skin several times a day. Charlie had caught her mother on more than one occasion smelling a bottle of the fragrant lotion with tears in her eyes.
Logan had held her hand while they walked the long hallways of the old estate. She showed him some of her favorite places to hide when she and Edgar would play hide and seek. Logan stared in amazement at the sheer size of the place.
“I wouldn’t have to play hide and seek; I would actually get lost in here! It’s huge!” he exclaimed with a smile.
Charlie grinned. “Just wait until I show you ‘The Shed!’”
A couple of hours later they left the estate with a slightly shocked Logan still shaking his head. “That doesn’t even make any sense.” He kept repeating after he had been given the tour of the large building that housed enough holiday decorations to deck every house in their town for every known, and some unknown, holiday.
Sabrina laughed. “Oh, I feel your pain, Logan. I was in a state of disbelief for a good while over that building.”
He lifted his hand in a helpless gesture as he tried to fully explain his thoughts on it.
Charlie reached over and folded her fingers in between his and held his hand in her lap. “Shush…there are no words…we know!”
She watched him now as he laughed with D.J. and she felt a small flutter somewhere near the area where her heart used to be…
An hour or so later she was helping to clear away the dishes when Kinsley came up to her and wrapped her arms around her, giving her a tight squeeze.
Charlie hugged the now fifteen year old. “Hey, baby, how you doing?”
Kinsley frowned at her. “I’m not a baby, Charlie! I’m fifteen years old!” Charlie smiled at Kinsley’s expression. The girl was pure joy and even when she frowned her dark brown eyes still sparkled.
“Oh, my goodness, you are right. I’m sorry; I keep forgetting that you are nearly all grown up.”
Kinsley lost her frown as she whispered, “It’s ok…you can still call me ‘baby’ if you want to.”
Charlie laughed as she handed her a plate to carry into the kitchen.
“Why doesn’t Nate come here anymore, Charlie? Don’t you love him anymore?” Charlie froze at the young girl’s innocent question.
Keelie wrapped her arm around Charlie’s shoulders. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. Kinsley still hasn’t learned what questions are appropriate and which ones aren’t. You don’t have to answer her if you don’t want to.”
Charlie smiled up at Keelie. “It’s ok…really…it just caught me off guard is all. I don’t mind answering her. Kinsley, let’s go out on the front porch swing and I will try to explain it, ok?”
Gideon and Leia, Kinsley’s guardian, followed them out onto the front porch. Although the sun was shining, the temperature was still chilly, so Charlie had grabbed a fluffy throw blanket off the couch as they passed through the living room. After they had settled into the swing and snuggled under the blanket, Kinsley asked if she had asked a bad question.
Charlie pulled the sweet girl into her arms. “Oh, no, sweetie, not at all. You know you can ask me anything, right? Because we are family and we are friends. I was just surprised, that was all. I forget how grown up you are getting and that you notice things.” Charlie pushed with her right foot to set the swing into a gentle motion.
“I do still love Nate. I think I will love him forever, but he is still real sick and can’t be here right now. Do you remember he was hurt while overseas?”
Kinsley nodded. “I remember that. He was hurt real bad when his plane fell out of the sky.”
Charlie smiled at her. “That’s right, but he was in a helicopter. That’s the one that has the fan on top,” she explained.
Kinsley nodded. “Oh, yeah! But if you still love Nate, why do you love Logan?”
Charlie pulled back and looked down at her in amazement. “Wow, kiddo, don’t hold back…hit me with the hard questions, why don’t you?” Charlie knew this question would take some consideration, so she talked to her about something else to give herself time to come up with an answer. Finally she thought she had an answer that would satisfy the girl.
“Ok, you love your mom and your dad, right?” Kinsley nodded. “You see, the heart can love more than one person at the same time.” She was pretty happy with that answer until Kinsley shot it down.
“But Charlie, that’s a different kind of love! That’s family love, not boyfriend love. You are only supposed to have boyfriend love for one boyfriend, not two.”
Taken aback by the girl’s obvious understanding between the two, Charlie sat quietly for a moment. She decided to stop giving childish answers to grown up questions. But first she had a question for Kinsley.
“Honey, what makes you think that I love Logan in the same way that I love Nate?” She couldn’t deny that she had feelings for Logan but she wouldn’t have called it love…not yet.
“Because you act the same way around him as you did Nate. Your eyes are happy and you hold his hand. Doesn’t that mean that he is your boyfriend?”
Charlie sighed as Kinsley kept the hardballs coming her way. “Can I be real honest with you? I’m not sure what Logan is to me yet. I know he is my friend and I enjoy being with him, but my heart still loves Nate very much.”
Kinsley smiled her bright smile. “You know what I think? I think Logan is here to keep your heart from being sad until Nate can get better!”
Charlie smiled…it was as good an answer as any.
Gideon sat with Leia as Charlie tried to explain to Kinsley matters of the heart. The girl was surprisingly insightful. Another surprising thing about Kinsley was she was still able to see Leia. Gideon had asked her once if the child ever tried to speak to her, but she said no. That she smiles at her and notices when she comes and goes, but she makes no attempt to communicate with her.
“It’s like she knows she isn’t supposed to be seeing me,” Leia had said. Gideon watched her carefully and as far as he could tell Leia was the only guardian the child could see. He thought perhaps it was because children with Downs Syndrome somehow always kept that pure heart and childlike innocence for much longer than most. He wouldn’t be surprised if Kinsley’s spirit eye always remained opened.
A few weeks later Logan held Charlie’s hand as they walked a wooded path behind the house. The air now had a bite to it and Charlie looked up at the sky. “Bet we get snow before tomorrow!”
Logan gazed up at the gray sky that looked like any other gray sky he had seen. “How in the world can you tell? It just looks like a gray sky to me.”
Charlie laughed and spent the next few minutes trying to show Logan the differences between a snow cloud and a rain cloud. Finally she
gave up when his expression grew more and more confused.
“Tell you what, when you want to know if it’s going to snow, just give me a call!”
Logan laughed as he pulled her close. Charlie’s breath caught in her throat when Logan looked down at her. She knew he was going kiss her, and she had no idea if she wanted it or not.
When Charlie didn’t stop him, Logan leaned in and softly brushed his lips against hers. She didn’t even close her eyes, looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights.
“There…that wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked.
Charlie pulled out of his arms slowly and stepped back. “No…it wasn’t bad, Logan. I’m just not sure if it was right. Does that sound crazy?”
He shook his head as they started walking again. “No, it doesn’t sound crazy. I know you still love Nate. I also know there is a very real chance that you will always love him. I respect that…but Charlie?” He pulled her to a stop turning her so she was facing him. “I’m nearly a thousand percent sure that I’m falling in love with you, and I think you feel something for me, too. It may not be love…not yet…but something. Am I right?”
She stared up at him with big blue eyes that looked so lost. “I do feel something for you, Logan. I can honestly say that. But I also still love Nate. I…I…think sometimes that I’m just using you because you make me feel so much better. When we are together, I can breathe again without pain and I really enjoy being with you, but…” She trailed off, unsure of what to say.
Logan gave her a lopsided grin that made her heart feel warm. “That’s good enough. We don’t have to make this anything complicated, ok? Let’s just let it be what it will be.” He lifted her mittened hand and kissed it. Then tucked it in his jacket pocket as they finished their walk.
Just as Charlie had predicted, large snowflakes were falling slowly to the ground the next morning. She stood at her bedroom window with a silly grin on her face that she had been right and wondered if Logan had seen them yet. The cell phone on the dresser buzzed, telling her she had a text message.
If your dreams of being a veterinarian don’t work out, you could always be a weather-girl! She laughed at Logan’s message.
Quickly she sent her reply. Wouldn’t be much of a challenge for me. I would grow bored!
She started pulling her brush through her curls while she watched her phone waiting on his reply. She snatched up the phone when it buzzed again.
How’s this for a challenge? Go out with me tonight…on a real date.
Charlie sat down hard on her bed, staring at her phone like it might bite her. Was she ready to actually call herself dating someone? She still called weekly to check on Nate. Dr. Reed said he was improving, but he never wanted to speak to her. It had been almost three months since she had come home and Nate never once called her or would even speak to her when she called him. Did that mean it was over? Even if it was over, did that mean she was ready to move on? She had loved Nate Jackson for as long as she could remember. The phone buzzed again in her hand, making her jump.
Charlie???
“Oh, God…What do I do?” she prayed. “Tell me what to do…please!” The phone buzzed once more.
I’m sorry, Charlie… It’s ok… I wasn’t trying to pressure you…
Somehow Logan’s text made it easy for her to make her decision. She hastily typed out her reply then hit send before she could chicken out.
Pick me up at 7!
Logan showed up ten minutes early. Charlie had been ready for a half hour and Gideon along with Charlotte and Zareck watched as she fussed with her hair and changed her mind five different times about what to wear.
“What’s the big deal? Two days ago she never even glanced in a mirror when she knew he was coming over. Why all the fuss now?” Zareck asked.
Charlotte rolled her eyes at the clueless male. “Because two days ago they weren’t dating!” Blonde brows drew together tightly.
“Correct me if I’m wrong…” Zareck started to say before Charlotte interrupted him.
“Oh, I will!” She said with a grin.
“But what exactly will be different about tonight? Other than the fact that it’s called a date?”
Charlotte floated to the top of Charlie’s dresser, assuming her favorite sitting position by tucking one bare foot under her. “Why…that is the difference! Before, they were just friends that liked to spend time together, but now they are dating! Totally different.” She looked at him like her explanation should be clear as glass.
Zareck looked over to Gideon who just shook his head. He didn’t have any better understanding about the rules and subtitles of human courtships than the other warrior.
Chapter 10
Shana grinned while Hattie rolled Nate down to physical therapy. She still didn’t know where this wonderful lady came from, but she was an answer to a prayer. She absolutely would not let Nate get away with anything! Clearly she had the full support of the hospital administration because every time Nate complained, and he did almost daily, it fell on deaf ears.
“I said I wasn’t going to PT today! I’m too sore from yesterday,” he grumped while she rolled him down the hall toward the elevators.
“No pain, no gain, my boy! Surely the military taught you that much? Have you always been such a whiner?” Shana saw the muscle in Nate’s jaw start to tick. Uh oh… that was always a sign of imminent danger. She waited for him to explode and rage out against Hattie, but miraculously he held it in. The bitter-heart demon’s rate of growth seemed to have slowed down. While still growing, it wasn’t at the alarming rate of speed that it had been. Somehow, being in the presence of this ever-happy nurse was detrimental to its health and Shana hoped with all her heart that soon the nasty thing would be starving to death. She gave it a smirky grin when it rolled its greenish/yellow eyes her way.
Nate felt the muscles in his remaining leg burn as he pressed down on the pedal of the leg press. Sweat dripped from his brow, rolling down close to his good eye. He wiped it away with a swipe of his shoulder. Hattie sat on a nearby bench watching him like a hawk. She was far worse than any drill Sargent he had ever had in the army. The nurse might not ever raise her voice, but she could pin him down with a stare that made him squirm. He had tried everything to drive her away, but nothing he did fazed her. He had raged and bellowed, threw things, called her things that his mama would have beat him down for, but still she stayed. It was like it rolled off of her like water off a duck’s back. He had finally decided it was less effort on his part to do whatever it was she asked of him. Case in point, the very reason he was currently struggling to lift the tiny pile of weights on the leg press. He used to be able to lift everything the weight machine had with ease; now he strained to lift one fifty. When his foot slipped off the pedal causing him to shift suddenly to his right side, he let out a string of foul curse words that would make a sailor’s ears bleed. But Nurse Unshakable simply arched her brow at him and waved at him to continue.
After he was done with PT, which stood for Physical Therapy, although in Nate’s mind it stood for Pure Torture…Hattie rolled him back to his room, humming some happy upbeat little ditty under her breath. After she got him settled back in bed, he finally asked her why she was so blasted happy all the time.
She smiled at him. “Why wouldn’t I be happy? God gave me yet another day on this planet. I’m working doing what I love and the sky is blue!”
His eyes narrowed at the very mention of God. “God didn’t give you anything. You’re alive because you haven’t died yet. Don’t be calling it anything bigger than that.”
Hattie filled his water pitcher then poured him a glass. “You are still in that mad-at-God stage. Don’t worry -- it will pass.”
Nate stared at her with hard eyes. “I’m not mad at God. I don’t believe in God.”
She arched her brow at him again. “Now, I don’t know who are trying to convince…me or yourself.”
His frown grew deeper. “I don’t have to convince
anybody of anything.”
She smiled that happy smile and for some reason that made him even angrier. “I don’t! I know that I don’t believe in God! I don’t care if you believe me or not!”
Patting his leg, she made shushing noises. “Ok, Mr. Jackson, you don’t believe in God. I got it.”
He batted her hand away. “I really don’t,” he assured her again.
Hattie nodded. “Ok…I hear you.”
He watched as she went about her duties back to humming again. “I mean why would I? What has He ever done for me but give my baby sister cancer and leave me alive with this broken, busted up body?”
Hattie continued with what she was doing, but she asked him a question. “God is only supposed to give us good things, right?”
Nate sneered at her. “I told you I don’t believe in God!”
She waved her hand in a calm-down gesture. “Ok, I heard you. But you said that God gave your baby sister cancer and left you in a mangled body, right? So, I was playing on the assumption that if there is a God and only good things are supposed to come from him, then maybe your theory is flawed.”
Nate stared at her, pain radiating from his dark eyes. “My theory is dead on.”
She shook her head. “How can it be? If there is a God and I said if... and if… only good things come from God, then how can you blame Him for the bad things in your life? Like I said, your theory is flawed.”
“Maybe God is a hateful puppet master that gets his jollies from our pain,” Nate suggested.
Hattie seemed to consider that for a moment. “Ok, so he is a rotten twisted deity. Then explain babies. Or rainbows or the feeling that you get when the sun rises and it’s so beautiful that it makes your heart ache. Who created all of that? You can’t honestly think that the creator of all your pain and misery can also produce something as majestic as the Rockies or as tender as love’s first kiss?”
Nate’s mind went back to the first time he had kissed Charlie. The air was so cold that the tip of her nose was red and her breath came out in white puffs. His hands were shaking when he carefully pulled the black lace headband from her curls then tunneled his fingers into their silky warmth. Charlie’s eyes deepened to a midnight blue as she watched his head slowly draw closer to hers. Then her breathing stopped all together when he finally placed his lips against her sweet mouth. This wasn’t his first kiss, but he knew it was hers and when he felt her hand cup the back of his neck, pulling him closer, he had thought that this had to be as close to heaven as he had ever been.
