Complete Plays, The

by William Shakespeare

  Hortensio

  Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace,

  And offer me disguised in sober robes

  To old Baptista as a schoolmaster

  Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca;

  That so I may, by this device, at least

  Have leave and leisure to make love to her

  And unsuspected court her by herself.

  Grumio

  Here’s no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together!

  Enter Gremio, and Lucentio disguised

  Master, master, look about you: who goes there, ha?

  Hortensio

  Peace, Grumio! it is the rival of my love.

  Petruchio, stand by a while.

  Grumio

  A proper stripling and an amorous!

  Gremio

  O, very well; I have perused the note.

  Hark you, sir: I’ll have them very fairly bound:

  All books of love, see that at any hand;

  And see you read no other lectures to her:

  You understand me: over and beside

  Signior Baptista’s liberality,

  I’ll mend it with a largess. Take your paper too,

  And let me have them very well perfumed

  For she is sweeter than perfume itself

  To whom they go to. What will you read to her?

  Lucentio

  Whate’er I read to her, I’ll plead for you

  As for my patron, stand you so assured,

  As firmly as yourself were still in place:

  Yea, and perhaps with more successful words

  Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.

  Gremio

  O this learning, what a thing it is!

  Grumio

  O this woodcock, what an ass it is!

  Petruchio

  Peace, sirrah!

  Hortensio

  Grumio, mum! God save you, Signior Gremio.

  Gremio

  And you are well met, Signior Hortensio.

  Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.

  I promised to inquire carefully

  About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca:

  And by good fortune I have lighted well

  On this young man, for learning and behavior

  Fit for her turn, well read in poetry

  And other books, good ones, I warrant ye.

  Hortensio

  ’Tis well; and I have met a gentleman

  Hath promised me to help me to another,

  A fine musician to instruct our mistress;

  So shall I no whit be behind in duty

  To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.

  Gremio

  Beloved of me; and that my deeds shall prove.

  Grumio

  And that his bags shall prove.

  Hortensio

  Gremio, ’tis now no time to vent our love:

  Listen to me, and if you speak me fair,

  I’ll tell you news indifferent good for either.

  Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,

  Upon agreement from us to his liking,

  Will undertake to woo curst Katharina,

  Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.

  Gremio

  So said, so done, is well.

  Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?

  Petruchio

  I know she is an irksome brawling scold:

  If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.

  Gremio

  No, say’st me so, friend? What countryman?

  Petruchio

  Born in Verona, old Antonio’s son:

  My father dead, my fortune lives for me;

  And I do hope good days and long to see.

  Gremio

  O sir, such a life, with such a wife, were strange!

  But if you have a stomach, to’t i’ God’s name:

  You shall have me assisting you in all.

  But will you woo this wild-cat?

  Petruchio

  Will I live?

  Grumio

  Will he woo her? ay, or I’ll hang her.

  Petruchio

  Why came I hither but to that intent?

  Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?

  Have I not in my time heard lions roar?

  Have I not heard the sea puff’d up with winds

  Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat?

  Have I not heard great ordnance in the field,

  And heaven’s artillery thunder in the skies?

  Have I not in a pitched battle heard

  Loud ’larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets’ clang?

  And do you tell me of a woman’s tongue,

  That gives not half so great a blow to hear

  As will a chestnut in a farmer’s fire?

  Tush, tush! fear boys with bugs.

  Grumio

  For he fears none.

  Gremio

  Hortensio, hark:

  This gentleman is happily arrived,

  My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.

  Hortensio

  I promised we would be contributors

  And bear his charging of wooing, whatsoe’er.

  Gremio

  And so we will, provided that he win her.

  Grumio

  I would I were as sure of a good dinner.

  Enter Tranio brave, and Biondello

  Tranio

  Gentlemen, God save you. If I may be bold,

  Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way

  To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?

  Biondello

  He that has the two fair daughters: is’t he you mean?

  Tranio

  Even he, Biondello.

  Gremio

  Hark you, sir; you mean not her to —

  Tranio

  Perhaps, him and her, sir: what have you to do?

  Petruchio

  Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.

  Tranio

  I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let’s away.

  Lucentio

  Well begun, Tranio.

  Hortensio

  Sir, a word ere you go;

  Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?

  Tranio

  And if I be, sir, is it any offence?

  Gremio

  No; if without more words you will get you hence.

  Tranio

  Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free

  For me as for you?

  Gremio

  But so is not she.

  Tranio

  For what reason, I beseech you?

  Gremio

  For this reason, if you’ll know,

  That she’s the choice love of Signior Gremio.

  Hortensio

  That she’s the chosen of Signior Hortensio.

  Tranio

  Softly, my masters! if you be gentlemen,

  Do me this right; hear me with patience.

  Baptista is a noble gentleman,

  To whom my father is not all unknown;

  And were his daughter fairer than she is,

  She may more suitors have and me for one.

  Fair Leda’s daughter had a thousand wooers;

  Then well one more may fair Bianca have:

  And so she shall; Lucentio shall make one,

  Though Paris came in hope to speed alone.

  Gremio

  What! this gentleman will out-talk us all.

  Lucentio

  Sir, give him head: I know he’ll prove a jade.

  Petruchio

  Hortensio, to what end are all these words?

  Hortensio

  Sir, let me be so bold as ask you,

  Did you yet ever see Baptista’s daughter?

  Tranio

  No, sir; but hear I do that he hath two,

  The one as famous for a scolding tongue

  As is th
e other for beauteous modesty.

  Petruchio

  Sir, sir, the first’s for me; let her go by.

  Gremio

  Yea, leave that labour to great Hercules;

  And let it be more than Alcides’ twelve.

  Petruchio

  Sir, understand you this of me in sooth:

  The younges t daughter whom you hearken for

  Her father keeps from all access of suitors,

  And will not promise her to any man

  Until the elder sister first be wed:

  The younger then is free and not before.

  Tranio

  If it be so, sir, that you are the man

  Must stead us all and me amongst the rest,

  And if you break the ice and do this feat,

  Achieve the elder, set the younger free

  For our access, whose hap shall be to have her

  Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.

  Hortensio

  Sir, you say well and well you do conceive;

  And since you do profess to be a suitor,

  You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman,

  To whom we all rest generally beholding.

  Tranio

  Sir, I shall not be slack: in sign whereof,

  Please ye we may contrive this afternoon,

  And quaff carouses to our mistress’ health,

  And do as adversaries do in law,

  Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.

  Grumio

  Biondello

  O excellent motion! Fellows, let’s be gone.

  Hortensio

  The motion’s good indeed and be it so,

  Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto.

  Exeunt

  ACT II

  SCENE I. PADUA. A ROOM IN BAPTISTA’S HOUSE.

  Enter Katharina and Bianca

  Bianca

  Good sister, wrong me not, nor wrong yourself,

  To make a bondmaid and a slave of me;

  That I disdain: but for these other gawds,

  Unbind my hands, I’ll pull them off myself,

  Yea, all my raiment, to my petticoat;

  Or what you will command me will I do,

  So well I know my duty to my elders.

  Katharina

  Of all thy suitors, here I charge thee, tell

  Whom thou lovest best: see thou dissemble not.

  Bianca

  Believe me, sister, of all the men alive

  I never yet beheld that special face

  Which I could fancy more than any other.

  Katharina

  Minion, thou liest. Is’t not Hortensio?

  Bianca

  If you affect him, sister, here I swear I’ll plead for you myself, but you shall have him.

  Katharina

  O then, belike, you fancy riches more:

  You will have Gremio to keep you fair.

  Bianca

  Is it for him you do envy me so?

  Nay then you jest, and now I well perceive

  You have but jested with me all this while:

  I prithee, sister Kate, untie my hands.

  Katharina

  If that be jest, then all the rest was so.

  Strikes her

  Enter Baptista

  Baptista

  Why, how now, dame! whence grows this insolence?

  Bianca, stand aside. Poor girl! she weeps.

  Go ply thy needle; meddle not with her.

  For shame, thou helding of a devilish spirit,

  Why dost thou wrong her that did ne’er wrong thee?

  When did she cross thee with a bitter word?

  Katharina

  Her silence flouts me, and I’ll be revenged.

  Flies after Bianca

  Baptista

  What, in my sight? Bianca, get thee in.

  Exit Bianca

  Katharina

  What, will you not suffer me? Nay, now I see

  She is your treasure, she must have a husband;

  I must dance bare-foot on her wedding day

  And for your love to her lead apes in hell.

  Talk not to me: I will go sit and weep

  Till I can find occasion of revenge.

  Exit

  Baptista

  Was ever gentleman thus grieved as I?

  But who comes here?

  Enter Gremio, Lucentio in the habit of a mean man; Petruchio, with Hortensio as a musician; and Tranio, with Biondello bearing a lute and books

  Gremio

  Good morrow, neighbour Baptista.

  Baptista

  Good morrow, neighbour Gremio.

  God save you, gentlemen!

  Petruchio

  And you, good sir! Pray, have you not a daughter

  Call’d Katharina, fair and virtuous?

  Baptista

  I have a daughter, sir, called Katharina.

  Gremio

  You are too blunt: go to it orderly.

  Petruchio

  You wrong me, Signior Gremio: give me leave.

  I am a gentleman of Verona, sir,

  That, hearing of her beauty and her wit,

  Her affability and bashful modesty,

  Her wondrous qualities and mild behavior,

  Am bold to show myself a forward guest

  Within your house, to make mine eye the witness

  Of that report which I so oft have heard.

  And, for an entrance to my entertainment,

  I do present you with a man of mine,

  Presenting Hortensio

  Cunning in music and the mathematics,

  To instruct her fully in those sciences,

  Whereof I know she is not ignorant:

  Accept of him, or else you do me wrong:

  His name is Licio, born in Mantua.

  Baptista

  You’re welcome, sir; and he, for your good sake.

  But for my daughter Katharina, this I know,

  She is not for your turn, the more my grief.

  Petruchio

  I see you do not mean to part with her,

  Or else you like not of my company.

  Baptista

  Mistake me not; I speak but as I find.

  Whence are you, sir? what may I call your name?

  Petruchio

  Petruchio is my name; Antonio’s son,

  A man well known throughout all Italy.

  Baptista

  I know him well: you are welcome for his sake.

  Gremio

  Saving your tale, Petruchio, I pray,

  Let us, that are poor petitioners, speak too:

  Baccare! you are marvellous forward.

  Petruchio

  O, pardon me, Signior Gremio; I would fain be doing.

  Gremio

  I doubt it not, sir; but you will curse your wooing. Neighbour, this is a gift very grateful, I am sure of it. To express the like kindness, myself, that have been more kindly beholding to you than any, freely give unto you this young scholar,

  Presenting Lucentio

  that hath been long studying at Rheims; as cunning in Greek, Latin, and other languages, as the other in music and mathematics: his name is Cambio; pray, accept his service.

  Baptista

  A thousand thanks, Signior Gremio.

  Welcome, good Cambio.

  To Tranio

  But, gentle sir, methinks you walk like a stranger: may I be so bold to know the cause of your coming?

  Tranio

  Pardon me, sir, the boldness is mine own,

  That, being a stranger in this city here,

  Do make myself a suitor to your daughter,

  Unto Bianca, fair and virtuous.

  Nor is your firm resolve unknown to me,

  In the preferment of the eldest sister.

  This liberty is all that I request,

  That, upon knowledge of my parentage,

  I may have welcome ’mongst the rest that woo

  And free access and favo
ur as the rest:

  And, toward the education of your daughters,

  I here bestow a simple instrument,

  And this small packet of Greek and Latin books:

  If you accept them, then their worth is great.

  Baptista

  Lucentio is your name; of whence, I pray?

  Tranio

  Of Pisa, sir; son to Vincentio.

  Baptista

  A mighty man of Pisa; by report

  I know him well: you are very welcome, sir,

  Take you the lute, and you the set of books;

  You shall go see your pupils presently.

  Holla, within!

  Enter a Servant

  Sirrah, lead these gentlemen

  To my daughters; and tell them both,

  These are their tutors: bid them use them well.

  Exit Servant, with Lucentio and Hortensio, Biondello following

  We will go walk a little in the orchard,

  And then to dinner. You are passing welcome,

  And so I pray you all to think yourselves.

  Petruchio

  Signior Baptista, my business asketh haste,

  And every day I cannot come to woo.

  You knew my father well, and in him me,

  Left solely heir to all his lands and goods,

  Which I have better’d rather than decreased:

  Then tell me, if I get your daughter’s love,

  What dowry shall I have with her to wife?

  Baptista

  After my death the one half of my lands,

  And in possession twenty thousand crowns.

  Petruchio

  And, for that dowry, I’ll assure her of

  Her widowhood, be it that she survive me,

  In all my lands and leases whatsoever:

  Let specialties be therefore drawn between us,

  That covenants may be kept on either hand.

  Baptista

  Ay, when the special thing is well obtain’d,

  That is, her love; for that is all in all.

  Petruchio

  Why, that is nothing: for I tell you, father,

  I am as peremptory as she proud-minded;

  And where two raging fires meet together

  They do consume the thing that feeds their fury:

  Though little fire grows great with little wind,

  Yet extreme gusts will blow out fire and all:

  So I to her and so she yields to me;

  For I am rough and woo not like a babe.

  Baptista

  Well mayst thou woo, and happy be thy speed!

  But be thou arm’d for some unhappy words.

  Petruchio

  Ay, to the proof; as mountains are for winds,

  That shake not, though they blow perpetually.

  Re-enter Hortensio, with his head broke

  Baptista

  How now, my friend! why dost thou look so pale?

  Hortensio

  For fear, I promise you, if I look pale.

  Baptista

  What, will my daughter prove a good musician?

  Hortensio

  I think she’ll sooner prove a soldier