A Stellar Affair

by Laurel Richards

  She looked irritated. “Help with what? You want to pry open this woman’s psyche, but you don’t want to feel bad about it? Be a healer or be an interrogator. You can’t be both. That’s why you keep failing.”

  Jack sighed. He knew she disapproved of the military application of special perception. She had voiced her objections quite strongly when he had decided to volunteer. However, he didn’t think this was the time for a difference of opinion.

  “Look,” he said, “I know how you feel about this, but this is the situation I’m in. I owe it to our people to get those coordinates, and the only way I can do that is through Ardra’s memories.”

  “Then what’s the problem?” she asked.

  He didn’t answer.

  Terrah grinned. “My, my, Jack. I don’t have to read your mind to read your mind. You’re falling in love with her, aren’t you?”

  He couldn’t lie to her. “What should I do, Terrah? I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  She sat back with an arch of her eyebrows. “If you really care about her, then I say screw the intel. Love can be the best cure, and I’m betting she could use someone in her corner right now. Stop pushing her and give her guidance.”

  “I can’t do that,” he said.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I don’t understand her feelings for me.” He had meant to say his feelings for her.

  She shook her head. “Her feelings for you must be strong.”

  “Yeah, bad feelings,” he said.

  “Use your connection to her, and you may have a chance. She really needs an ally right now, and poor one that you may be, she’ll trust you if she believes you’re not just using her.”

  “How can you be certain?”

  “We women know these things.” When he still looked doubtful, Terrah grew impatient. “Look, here you’ve got this obvious ulterior motive for being nice to her, and you wonder why she suspects you? You asked for my advice, and I’m giving it to you. Prove that you’re her friend and not her enemy. Put her needs first. That’s what every woman really wants. You’ll see results as soon as you’re not chasing after them, and then you’ll both get what you want.”

  He thought about it. Hadn’t he already tried that approach? Since Ardra had arrived, he had told her he wanted to help her and had done his best to prove it. What more could he do? He couldn’t just stop trying to extract the intel, could he?

  “A number won’t love you back,” Terrah said, reading his mind. “Getting the intel has to be an afterthought, or else you’re not being sincere. So far, she’s the one who has the most to lose.”

  “You may be right,” he admitted.

  She crossed her arms. “I’m always right. That’s why you keep coming back to me for my advice. You’re only unhappy because it’s not what you want to hear.”

  That advice stayed with Jack the following day. Instead of pushing for information from Ardra, he took her for a walk through the fields behind his house. The afternoon heat was beginning to subside, and now that her leg had healed, he noticed she kept up with him without a problem.

  “So how is it the Tetch don’t know about this planet?” Ardra asked.

  “Misinformation,” Jack told her. “When the first probe was sent this way, we hacked into the signal and fed back reports that this sector was barren and uninhabitable. No one ever bothered to do a second scan, and we’ve been here ever since.”

  “We?”

  “Roimirans,” he said. “This planet has been occupied for almost sixty years now. I transported here a year ago and found this compound much as you see it today. Ryso has become a hodge-podge of temporary buildings turned permanent.”

  “Hence the shoddy workmanship on my prison cell,” she said wryly.

  He couldn’t help but smile. “You’re the first person clever enough to figure that out. The truth is no one ever thought we’d be able to stay here this long, what with being so close to Tetch space.”

  They turned toward the road.

  “Then why chance it?” she asked. “Why did you establish a settlement so close to Tetch space in the first place? Surely you could monitor the channels from a safer distance.”

  “Monitor, yes, but we’d be unable to act. Everything is short-range. If we hadn’t been this close, we would never have been able to—” He caught himself.

  “Capture the Oberon?” she finished for him.

  “Yes.” Jack didn’t see the point in denying it. “Honestly, we’re not as unified as we’d like to be. Much like the Tetch, we operate more as a series of smaller commands. Human beings are too spread out across the universe to sweep everyone under one government.”

  “And what will you do under this command?” she asked. “Do you intend to keep working here for the rest of your life, or will you move somewhere else?”

  “I don’t know,” he admitted. “For a long time, I thought I’d stay here and keep working for the military, but now I’m not sure.”

  “I’m surprised. You seem like a man who is always in control and has a plan.”

  Most of the time he was, but now he had doubts.

  “What about you?” he asked. “What do you want for your future?”

  “You mean if I ever get free of this place?”

  He nodded. “Where will you go? Will you return to Nintu V? Do you want to go back to Earth?”

  “I haven’t decided,” she answered. “Not Nintu V. I want to go back to Earth or maybe find some unclaimed Eden. I guess I want back what I’ve lost.”

  “And what have you lost?” he asked.

  Her sigh was so sad it made his chest hurt. “I used to know what it was like to have hope for the future. I knew how to smile and laugh.”

  “And love?” he added gently.

  “Yes.” She drew an audible breath. “The Tetch may have taken that from me, Jack, but so have you.”

  “I can’t deny that.” Though he wanted to. “I could offer you a million justifications, but nothing I can say will make it right. Whatever happens, though, I think you’ll find happiness someday. I’ll do what I can to guarantee it.”

  They continued to walk, their paces matched until they were almost in perfect sync.

  Ardra studied Jack closely in the golden light. “You say that like you mean it.”

  She sensed sincerity from him, but she was afraid to let down her guard.

  “When I brought you back after your escape,” he said, “I promised you things would be better. I mean to keep that promise.” He gave her a pointed look. “I can only control what’s between us, though. You think I’m the one trapping you here, but I’m not. I’m just one guy.”

  She swallowed hard. “What does that mean exactly?”

  “It means no more tricks.” Jack didn’t break eye contact as he said it. “I won’t pretend that I don’t want the coordinates. If we don’t get ahead of the next strike, more people will die.”

  “Don’t you dare put that on me.” Ardra would not be responsible for what the military did. “For all you know, someone else could be carrying the coordinates.”

  “Someone like the real Rosemary Warner?” he asked. “Believe me, we thought of that.”

  “And?” Ardra could tell by his tone that there was more to it than that.

  “And Rosemary isn’t the carrier we’re looking for,” he said. “The Tetch never got her off Simos, and our people were able to interview her. The offer of some free therapy to help overcome her fear of flying gave one of our precepts access. Rosemary was programmed but not with the next strike coordinates.”

  Jack grinned. “You might also be happy to hear she has made great strides in overcoming her fear of space flight.”

  Ardra felt her lips twitch despite herself. “I almost feel sorry for the precept who interrogated her. That woman liked to talk a lot.” She immediately sobered. “So Rosemary’s fear of flying wasn’t part of the Tetch programming?”

  He shook his head. “I’m pretty sure her fear was a side effec
t of her abduction. The Tetch nabbed her during her first time flying. Part of her must have remembered that trauma.”

  She felt bad for thinking of Rosemary as neurotic. Apparently, they had more in common than either of them had known.

  “I wanted to be certain,” Jack said quietly. “I wouldn’t have put you through all of this if I wasn’t sure you’re the right carrier. You’re strong enough for the truth.” He drew a deep breath and pinned her with his hazel eyes. “That’s why I’m willing to put aside the interrogation to help you.”

  She stopped short. “What?”

  “I want to help, Ardra.”

  “How?” She scowled at him, uncertain of what he was offering. “Are you going to let me go? Because if that’s the case, you could have let me escape the last time.”

  He was already shaking his head. “I’m only one guy, remember? The people on this planet would have hunted you down. Without my help, it might have taken longer to recapture you, but they would have caught you. You also would have been more likely to get hurt.”

  Ardra remembered how tense the Roimirans surrounding her had been. Their one thought had been to not let the Tetch spy get away. She couldn’t be sure what they might have done if Jack hadn’t arrived.

  “You’ve seen the guards,” he added. “They’re the ones who lock you in your room at night. Then there’s the superintendent of this compound and—”

  “All right, I get it.” She didn’t fully absolve him, but she knew he was telling the truth.

  Jack wasn’t her jailer. In fact, he might be her best ally if he really meant what he said.

  “So no more sneaking into my memories and trying to confuse me?” she asked.

  He had the grace to look apologetic. “No more sneaking. No more agendas. If I promise to help you, what would you say you need?”

  To her surprise, she found herself fighting back the foolish tears that wanted to pop out.

  “What would you say?” he asked. “I want to help, Ardra. Please tell me how.”

  She hesitated, mostly because choking back her feelings gave her a sore throat. When she did speak, her voice quavered.

  “I’d say I could use a friend,” she admitted. “I really need someone on my side right now. I have a whole lot of images all jumbled up in my head, and I don’t know what to believe. I’m frightened and confused, and what I need most is for someone to support me through this.”

  Still cautious, she met his gaze. “There’s just one question, Jack. Are you my friend? You’re supposed to be my enemy.”

  “You and I aren’t the ones at war,” he pointed out. “The best proof I have is the chance I’m taking. I’m not only risking a job or even my allegiance. I’m gambling something I shouldn’t.”

  She waited for him to clarify, but he didn’t finish. If he meant what she thought he did… She glanced away to hide her thoughts. Bad timing didn’t even begin to describe their predicament, but she would take the help he was offering.

  Ardra cleared her throat. “Do you know what I could really use right now?”

  “What’s that?” He kept his expression neutral, probably afraid she would ask him to help her escape.

  “How about a drink?” she said hopefully.

  Jack smiled, and something seemed to shift between them. “That I can do. How does a glass of wine sound?”

  “I was thinking more like a bottle.”

  “That bad?” he teased her.

  “I’ve had a terrible few months,” she confessed. “You know, the usual. Work transfer, kidnapping, interrogation.”

  She never would have thought she would be able to joke about it, but somehow the words tumbled off her tongue.

  Jack appeared straight-faced, though she noticed his eyes were sparkling. “Work transfers can be stressful,” he agreed.

  Ardra laughed and scrubbed her hands over her face. She definitely needed that drink.

  Once they returned to Jack’s patio, she sat and waited while he brought out a couple of wine bottles and two glasses. He took her at her word and handed her a full glass. The sun was starting to go down and a gentle breeze rustled the grass in the field they had walked through. She took a big sip and let her head fall back.

  If Jack had any lingering doubts about following Terrah’s advice, they were swept away. Ardra was usually so tense and controlled around him, but now she looked perfectly relaxed. She was even more lovely without the little worry lines between her eyebrows. Of course, some of her relaxation was likely due to the alcohol.

  He decided to cut her off after she poured herself the third or fourth glass. She wasn’t slurring, but her voice had taken on a rambling, dreamy quality.

  She leaned over and whispered to him confidentially. “Do you want to know a secret, Jack?”

  “Sure.” He hid his smile by taking a sip from his glass.

  “I was born twins.” All of a sudden, she got the giggles. “Isn’t that remarkable?”

  “You have a twin?” The records Nash had turned up indicated she was an only child.

  “No,” she said. “I mean I have twin lives. I was born in two different places at the same time.”

  “Really?” He kept his tone even, letting her go with this wherever she wanted.

  She leaned back. “I was born on Earth and lived in a pretty white house surrounded by wind chimes. But I was also born on a Tetch cruiser and lived in tiny little apartments all across the sector.”

  At least she was aware of the contradiction.

  “Do you know which of those lives is real?” he asked.

  “They both seem real,” she said, which didn’t answer his question.

  “Which one feels real?” he pressed her.

  She seemed to think hard for a second, but her answer came quickly. “The first one. I was born on Earth.”

  “It’s good that you can tell the difference. That’s an excellent start.” Curiosity got the better of him, and Jack decided to take a chance. “May I ask you something personal?”

  She rolled her head to look at him. “Yep.”

  “Why did you leave Earth?”

  Ardra released a big sigh and downed the rest of her glass. “All I ever wanted was a pretty house with a garden—a certain space and someone to share my life with.”

  She made a sweeping motion with her hands as if to indicate everything around them. He wondered if she was picturing herself living here.

  Then she looked up at the darkening sky. “You know, there are a lot of people who look up at the night sky and see science. Did you know that? They see satellites and orbits and flares and holes and gushers and on and on.”

  He suspected that last part was supposed to be phenomenon.

  “But me?” She gave a dramatic shake of her head. “I thought that kind of space study was boring. Boring. It never mattered to me. But there have been a few times—just a few—when I looked up and was completely awed. I was stardust, and those heavens weren’t dry, untouchable statistics. They were magic.”

  She turned toward him, and he found himself captivated. There was passion in this woman that he hadn’t fully sensed before, and he saw it in her brilliant eyes when she looked at him now.

  “Oh, Stevin,” she said, disappointing him. “Stevin, do we really have to leave? I thought I was going because of you. I really did. I thought I had found something I didn’t want to lose, but now I think maybe I was looking for something else.”

  Or perhaps someone else? Jack looked into her eyes and spoke before he knew what he was going to say. “You have to make this trip,” he told her. “It’s who you are. Long ago, the aliens taught us that you don’t really have to go far to make an important journey. The greatest leaps are made within our hearts and minds. That’s true for you now. Come with me. Come the rest of the way, and I promise you won’t be alone.”

  She didn’t answer. Instead, she stood and wobbled.

  Worried she would fall, he picked her up and carried her back inside. As he walked into the ho
use, thoughts and images flowed into his mind—not his and not his doing. Somehow Ardra had confused him with her husband, and she was pulling Jack into her past. It was an eerie sensation. Carrying her in his arms like the other man had done long ago, Jack became Stevin. He meant to put her down on the sofa but found himself taking her to the bedroom instead.

  Her eyes closed as he laid her on his bed. As he reached for the sheet to tuck her in, she cupped his cheek and caught his mouth in a passionate kiss. In that moment, Jack was her and Stevin and himself, and the kiss touched him on a level he wasn’t prepared for. He pulled back and stared at her, but she had already fallen asleep. He watched her for several minutes while his heart raced. He knew her kiss wasn’t meant for him—in her mind, she had been with her husband—yet…

  This situation was already complicated enough. He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

  The next morning, Ardra awoke to the pleasant sound of tinkling metal. Her head rested against a soft pillow, and despite a slight hangover, she managed to sit up in bed. She looked around at the unfamiliar room.

  Still wearing her clothes, she was tucked into a bed with silver sheets. The carpet and ceiling were both creamy white, but the walls were pale cerulean. Thanks to the mirrored closet doors on her right, she could see how awful she looked.

  With one palm over her face like an eye-patch, she somehow navigated her way to the bathroom. The sensors in the sink turned on a cold stream of water, and her headache eased when she splashed her face and neck. She ran her fingers through her hair to comb it before she hobbled back out and opened the bedroom door.

  As soon as she walked down the short hallway, she knew where she was. To her surprise, she spotted Jack sleeping on the sofa in the living room. His face looked smooth and angelic in his sleep, and she caught herself staring at his features.

  Her fingers tingled with the desire to touch him. He had saved her from the guard when she had escaped, and he seemed sincere when he told her he wanted to help. Deep down, she had always recognized that he was a good guy. She just hadn’t been sure if she could trust him—not while she was a captive.

  Of course, she was still a prisoner, but Jack wasn’t the one holding her here. There were no guards around right now, and the only man who could stop her was fast asleep. She watched as he stirred.