How Spy I Am

by Diane Henders

  “What?”

  “They weren’t trying to kill me. They were trying to kill you. Goddammit…”

  “Who’s they?”

  “I don’t know, but I have a dirty suspicion. And if I’m right, he’s a dead man.”

  Kane eyed me for a moment. “Your contact. He believed we were staying at the motel and conveniently lured you away at exactly the right time, leaving me behind to go up with the building. Aydan, tell me who your contact is.”

  “I… can’t.”

  He started to argue, but I shushed him to silence while my brain spun its wheels. Why would Robert want Kane dead?

  Well, shit, why not? Revenge; jealousy; hell, even simple convenience; pick a reason. With Kane gone, it would be far easier for Robert to get close to me.

  Was it time to tell Kane the truth?

  No, dammit. If I did, he’d report it to Stemp regardless of the consequences to his career. Then he’d have his neck in a noose with Stemp and Robert would still be trying to kill him. It didn’t really matter if he knew who was trying to kill him. As long as he knew somebody was out to get him, he could take adequate precautions.

  Which left the matter of my report to Stemp. I couldn’t explain what was going on without putting Kane in hot water. I growled irritation and tugged a couple of handfuls of hair.

  At last, slow realization dawned. I’d been going about this all wrong. Time to take Kane’s advice.

  Time to lie.

  I took a deep breath. “Okay, here’s what I can tell you. You’re in danger from two different angles. The first is the simplest; my contact is trying to kill you. I need you to watch your back every minute. I’ll deal with the contact. I’ll let you know as soon as that situation is resolved.”

  To my relief, Kane gave a matter-of-fact nod, and I continued. “The second source of danger isn’t direct physical danger, so it’s both easier and harder to protect you from it. I… just need you to trust me on that one.”

  “All right,” he said slowly. “But why won’t you tell me who’s trying to kill me?”

  “If I do, it’ll put you in jeopardy from the second source of danger. All I can tell you is, if you come face to face with him, you’ll know immediately, and…” I swallowed the sudden dryness in my throat. “And I expect you’ll have to kill him.”

  Kane gave me a piercing look from under lowered brows. “Hellhound said your contact was somebody you might care about. This contact means something to you.”

  I straightened my spine. “A lot less than he used to.”

  He scrutinized me in silence for a few moments. “So what do I tell Stemp about the explosion?”

  “Don’t mention my contact…”

  “Aydan, I can’t do that. I can’t omit information from a report.”

  “Says the man who just begged me to lie.” I met his frustrated gaze and sighed. “Okay. Go ahead and tell him.”

  “If I do, what will happen to you?”

  “I have no idea. I’ll deal with it. Tell him I believe the explosion was an attempt on your life, but that I wouldn’t explain any further. I’ll report to him directly.”

  “You’re putting your life on the line for me, aren’t you?”

  “No.” I made the word as definite as I could, but I had a niggling suspicion Stemp might just give the order to eliminate me when he found out about my ‘secret op’.

  Kane blew out a long breath. “I believed you up to this point, but you’re lying about the danger to yourself, aren’t you?”

  “I hope not.”

  “So if something happens to you, I’ll never know whether it was because of me.”

  “Trust me, you can’t do anything to get me in any deeper shit than I’ve already dug myself into.”

  “You’re making me worry again.”

  I stood and planted my hands on my hips. “Don’t worry. That’s an order.” His lips twisted as I continued, “Now get out of here so I can make my report. If you can wait half an hour before you make yours, it’ll give me time to tell Stemp about my other op. I think it’ll be better if he hears it from me.”

  “I can do that.” Kane rose, too, and I trailed him to the door. He hesitated with his hand on the knob. “Aydan…”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you for telling me… what you told me. I don’t know what it really was, but it felt like the truth.”

  I was opening my mouth to make a smart-ass remark when his kiss silenced me. It was gentle and sweet and lingering, and when he pulled away, his thumb stroked softly across my cheekbone.

  “Good night,” he murmured, and slipped out the door.

  I stood open-mouthed for a moment before shaking myself back to reality and going to the dresser for one of Stemp’s cell phones.

  When I hit the speed dial, the phone rang once on the other end before Stemp’s flat voice snapped, “Yes.”

  Damn. I’d been hoping for some sort of automated recording device.

  “It’s Ay… Arlene,” I stammered before slapping my forehead with a grimace. Christ, get it together. I pulled on my business persona with an effort.

  “A couple of developments today,” I said crisply. “We made some progress with their super-user, Betty. Apparently she went into a catatonic state after we collided in the network, which is what caused my minor identity crisis a few days ago. She’s suffering from severe post-traumatic stress from internalizing my memories. Dr. Kraus wants us back onsite tomorrow, but I’m not sure what else I can do for her.”

  “Good. I’ll arrange for your flights back tomorrow afternoon.”

  “That might work…” I said slowly. “There’s something else going on here. I have some… misgivings… about the network. There’s something weird going on here. And the ghost appeared again, so it’s not just part of our network. I gave it a hell of a blast, and… shit!”

  “What?” Stemp barked. When I didn’t respond right away, his shout startled me. “Arlene! Are you all right?”

  “I’m here. Sorry. I’m fine. I just… I might have an idea about the ghost. I’ll get back to you as soon as I know.”

  “Can you tell me more?”

  “Not at the moment. I need more information.”

  “Is there any danger associated with investigating?”

  “I doubt it. I’ve knocked that ghost on its ass a couple of times now.”

  “Very well. Is there anything else?”

  “Um… yeah…” I hesitated, trying to think of a good way to say it.

  “And…” Stemp’s tone was so dry it withered my inspiration completely.

  “Uh, well, somebody blew up my motel room tonight,” I said lamely.

  “I see. I presume you weren’t in it at the time.”

  “No. Kane was in the office, but he got away with minor injuries. The motel manager is dead.”

  There was brief silence at the other end before Stemp spoke again. “I’m arranging an immediate extraction. Be ready to leave within the hour.”

  “No, it’s okay,” I stammered. “I need to go back into the network tomorrow and-”

  “Your safety is my top priority,” Stemp snapped. “I refuse to take a chance-”

  “The bomb wasn’t meant for me,” I interrupted. “I’m pretty sure they were trying to kill Kane.”

  Silence swamped the phone. “They, who?” Stemp inquired at last.

  “I’m still investigating that.”

  “You’re investigating.”

  “Um, yeah.” I took a deep breath and crossed my fingers. “I believe the bomb was associated with my other op,” I said as confidently as I could.

  “Your other op.” If it was possible, Stemp’s voice got even flatter. “You don’t have any ops.”

  “That you know of.”

  “You are under my direct command. You are an asset, not an agent. You have no other ops.”

  “For you.”

  A long pause. “I see. And who is your direct command for this other op?”

  My
voice came out slightly squeaky despite my best efforts. “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you. Need to know.”

  Another long silence. “I am the director of operations. I need to know,” Stemp said at last.

  “No, you don’t. I have specific orders not to tell you,” I lied desperately. Well, it wasn’t necessarily a lie. I had specifically ordered myself not to tell him.

  “Are you working with the military side?” Stemp asked. “Should I talk to General Briggs?”

  “If you talk to General Briggs, I guarantee he will deny any knowledge of this,” I said with absolute truthfulness. “In fact, it won’t matter who you ask or cajole or bully, I guarantee you won’t find anyone who’ll admit to knowing anything about my ops. I’m only telling you as a courtesy, and my ass will be in a sling if anybody finds out I did.”

  And wasn’t that the truth.

  When Stemp spoke again, he sounded thoughtful. “I knew I was right about you,” he said. “How did you circumvent the lie-detector test?”

  “You didn’t ask the right questions.”

  “So you haven’t found a way to fool the test?”

  “No. Everything I said was true.”

  “So you say.”

  “So I say. Do you have any choice but to believe me?”

  After a short pause, Stemp spoke again. “Do you have anything else to report?”

  “Only that I’ve informed Kane about the danger to him, and he’s on alert.”

  “Very well. Inform me immediately of any further developments.” The line went dead in my ear and I sank to the floor, trying not to hyperventilate. I wasn’t overly successful, and I folded my head down to my knees until the black spots faded from my vision.

  I’d just lied my ass off to a man who wouldn’t hesitate to kill me on suspicion alone.

  I was so doomed.

  Chapter 36

  When my legs regained some strength, I rose to totter back to bed. Lying wide-eyed in the darkness, I did every relaxation exercise I knew, but my mind continued to whirl.

  At last, I gave up on sleep and settled down to intense thought. If Robert was trying to kill Kane, when would he make his next attempt? And how the hell had he known we were here?

  Kasper.

  I jerked upright. Kasper had access to our itinerary. What if he’d been lying to me? What if he’d been communicating with Robert all along? No wonder he’d looked anxious, the bastard.

  My first impulse was to call Stemp, but after a moment of consideration, I decided against it. Let Robert think they were getting away with it. They’d be easier to catch if they weren’t suspicious…

  “Shit!” I clapped a hand over my mouth to muffle any further exclamations and rolled out of bed, jerking on my jeans and sweatshirt and fumbling on my waist holster with shaking hands.

  Kane had reported we’d moved to the B & B. It was just a matter of time before Kasper relayed the information to Robert.

  No, no, no! Not Lurene and Winston with their beautiful home and their tacky knickknacks and their too-much-information sex life. If he hurt them, I would kill Robert with my bare hands and enjoy it…

  I hurried for the bathroom window.

  The moon had sunk low in the sky, and the night was moist black satin. Crouched next to a shrub in the back yard, I strained my eyes against the darkness, heart thumping. If Robert was going to set a bomb, he’d have to get close to the house. The front yard was well-lit with a minimum of landscaping, so I hoped if he made an attempt, it would be in the dark, sheltered back yard.

  Adrenaline scorched my veins when a large dark shape flitted soundlessly between the shrubs only minutes later. I eased my gun free of its holster, praying my trembling hands wouldn’t drop it.

  I stared at the place the shape had disappeared until my eyes watered.

  What the hell was he doing? The shrub was too far away from the house to do much damage unless it was a hell of a big bomb. Maybe he was just getting set up.

  It suddenly occurred to me that it might be wise to tackle him before he had the bomb fully assembled. Clenching my teeth at my own stupidity, I sent a mute three-word prayer winging skyward and moved silently to the cover of the next shrub.

  A few minutes of stealthy zigzagging between the plantings brought me to a vantage point behind my target. I couldn’t see well enough to make out more than a vague shape, but I was certain he was still there. I panted open-mouthed, unable to stop trembling or slow my thundering heart.

  I wasn’t going to get a better chance. If I waited any longer, I was going to pass out.

  My brain detached itself from the job at hand and floated away to a silly place. The great super-spy, Jane Bond, discovered unconscious in the back yard, gun in hand, lying in a pool of her own fear-induced shit. Nice.

  I hadn’t even realized I was moving until my arm locked around his throat, my gun grinding against his temple.

  “Move and you’re dead.” The harsh voice didn’t even sound like me.

  He went rigid. “Aydan? Is that you?”

  “John!”

  “Aydan,” he murmured. “Could you please take your gun away from my head?”

  “I’m… trying to…” My tremors intensified. Moments ago, I’d been afraid I wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger if I had to. Now I was terrified I’d pull it accidentally. My fingers felt as though they’d been replaced with steel rods. I tried to force my finger to move away from the trigger-guard, but the effort made it shake so much I didn’t dare chance it.

  I finally brained up. Gross motor movement, dummy. Use the big muscles. My shoulder jerked convulsively and my gun flew across the grass to thump against the fence. A moment later, I managed to unlock my other arm from his throat.

  Kane drew a deep breath and stood slowly. He paced across the yard to retrieve my gun and handed it back to me without speaking. I willed my fingers to close around it and stuffed it clumsily back into my holster.

  We spoke simultaneously. “What are you doing here?”

  “You first,” Kane added.

  “I just realized if they knew where we checked in this morning, it wouldn’t take them long to figure out where we were now.”

  “My thought exactly. How long have you been out here?”

  “Only a few minutes. You?”

  “I came out as soon as I finished my report to Stemp.”

  “You’re way ahead of me,” I said ruefully.

  “Not really. You got the drop on me.”

  “Oh.” Surprise tied my tongue for a moment. “I guess. But you were watching for threats arriving from outside the yard. I came from inside.”

  “You don’t need to make excuses for me. You’re good. But that doesn’t surprise me, considering how long you’ve been undercover.”

  I started to argue before remembering dishonesty was the best policy. Grateful for the darkness that concealed my guilty expression, I twitched my shoulders and muttered, “Thanks.”

  “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” The playful teasing in his voice made me smile in spite of myself.

  “Harder than you can imagine.”

  “I can understand that.” He sounded serious again. “Will you trust me to take shifts guarding the house tonight? I’ll be more careful-”

  “Of course I trust you,” I interrupted. “If I’d known you were out here, I wouldn’t have worried for a minute. Do you want to go first, or should I?”

  “Why don’t you go in and get some sleep?” His warm hand engulfed my icy one. “You’re shaking.”

  “Okay. Wake me whenever you’re ready. Just call my cell phone. I’ll leave it on vibrate.”

  “All right. Good night.”

  “Good night.” I headed for the house, heartily sick of crawling in and out of windows.

  In bed again, I lay fully dressed and shivering under the covers.

  Okay. Everything was okay. Kane was on guard outside. Nothing bad could happen. Just get a few hours sleep.

  My shivering slowed as warmt
h crept into my fingers and toes, and my eyelids began to droop at last. I drifted in hazy pre-sleep limbo, glimpses of the day flitting through my mind’s eye. The fireball, Kane rising from the wreckage, Betty’s fixed stare…

  “Betty! Shit!” I bolted up again, hissing obscenities as I flung the covers aside and sprang out of bed to hurry across to the dresser.

  Next cell phone. I punched the speed dial.

  “Yes.” Stemp sounded just as wide-awake as before, and I would have spared him a moment of admiration if I hadn’t been so worried.

  “We have a potential security breach,” I snapped.

  “Details.”

  “Betty has all my memories inside her head. All my memories. All my classified knowledge.”

  I spoke again in the moment of silence that followed. “She’s uncommunicative at the moment so we’re still safe, but I don’t know when that might change.”

  “I’ll deal with it. Anything else?”

  “Not at the moment.”

  “Good catch.” The line went dead.

  I staggered back to the bed and slid between the cooling covers for, Christ, what, the third time tonight? Or fourth? Whatever. I’d lost count, and I probably didn’t want to know anyway.

  I was just drifting off when my phone vibrated.

  Fresh adrenaline suffused me as I snatched at it, punching the talk button to whisper, “Hello?”

  Nothing. I peered at the dark display for an uncomprehending second before pushing my face into the pillow with a whimper. Must’ve been a wrong number. Tonight of all nights.

  I lay smothering in pillow and self-pity for a few moments before slow comprehension dawned. I groaned and flopped over to recheck the phone. Sure enough, there was a text message: ‘Call home’.

  Shivering beside the dresser again, I hauled out another phone and hit the speed dial.

  “Yes.”

  I was too tired for niceties. “It’s Arlene. What.”

  “Be at the airport at eleven hundred hours tomorrow for extraction. Report to Captain Nassman.”

  My burnt-out brain refused to compute. “Nassman. Airport, eleven hundred hours,” I repeated stupidly. After a moment, it seemed he was waiting for something else. “Confirmed,” I added, wondering if that was the right thing to say. It must have been, because the line went dead in my ear.