Roommates

by Valerie Reyes

  “He said he wanted a day with some of the guys from his building,” she replied.

  “I bet that’s going to be fun. I wonder if they will play any good games or troll sports bars a few blocks over. We could crash in this afternoon, if Scott doesn’t mind,” I suggested.

  “Nah, he seemed to really want the guy time,” she said, sitting on the edge of my bed now.

  “Fair enough,” I replied.

  I scooted to the top half of the bed on one side to sit up. She repositioned to sit on the opposite side at the opposite end. She had already been up long enough to get dressed in jeans and a plain yellow, fitted V-neck shirt. She always wore her hair down, except when we went to yoga. I had slept in pajama bottoms and a sports bra.

  “So, Scott is making some friends in his dorm?” I asked.

  “Actually, I made him spend the day with his roommates and get to know some more guys from his dorm,” she admitted.

  She was staring at my comforter as she talked.

  “Any particular reason why?” I asked.

  “Well, I feel like he might do well to meet new people. Our lives have always been so wrapped up in each other. I think it would be good for him to explore new friendships,” she said.

  “You mean new relationships all around, don’t you?” I asked.

  “Maybe,” she said.

  She wanted him to break up with her. She was pushing him away so she didn’t have to be the bad guy.

  “Well, I think your plan is working,” I said.

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “Over the weeks I’ve known you both, the relationship you talked about having and the one I have been watching are two different things. He loves you, but he can tell your heart is not in it. You seem to have so much going on in your own head that are you constantly letting him down gently, in a way,” I said.

  I didn’t want to just say flat out that she acted uninterested and like she humored a sense of obligation.

  “He does love me,” Rebecca said.

  She got off the bed and straightened herself up. Then she looked at me.

  “It’s still early. Maybe we could join him. He’d be glad if we did. He hates his roommate,” she said.

  “Yes, it is still early. If he’s as uninterested in guy time with his dorm friends as you think, we can still take him out for a great day. If you really want to ease him into the idea of you two being just friends, I think I have some ideas for what we can do where he might meet girls he would want to get to know as well,” I said. “I do think the best thing you could do is be honest with him.”

  “I’m still not sure I’m all the way ready to be honest with myself,” Rebecca said.

  I gave her my best confused face and she shook her head.

  “Maybe another time,” she said. “Get dressed.”

  Chapter 5: Rebecca

  Scott was happy to see us. He greeted me with a kiss and hugged Ethyl.

  “I love time with the guys, but these aren’t my kind of guys. I guess I am used to the natural comradery of teammates and my girlfriend. These guys talk about sports, but don’t really play them unless it’s a video game. The dorm activities this weekend that the RA planned are a gaming tournament, a fantasy movie marathon, and pool tournament in the game room,” he said.

  “The pool tournament could be fun,” Ethyl said.

  “Yeah, but it doesn’t start until this evening,” he replied.

  “What movies are in the marathon?” I asked.

  “Nothing from since we were born. The RA is a film major and intends to educate us on the predecessors of the modern greats in a genre each weekend,” he said, shaking his head.

  “I take it he wants to encourage everyone to spend more time studying,” Ethyl joked.

  We all laughed. I looked at Scott. He had an attractive laugh. Everything about him was attractive, but I was more attracted to our new friend in common.

  As I stood with both of them I realized why I pushed so hard for him to spend time with other people today. Ethyl was right. I wanted to push him away. I was done with trying to have a romantic relationship and wanted what we always had: friendship. I also realized I had poured my heart out to Ethyl because something in me felt relaxed with her. It was like with Scott, but without whatever I had felt was missing. I could say what I was thinking, because I had no impression or image to live up to.

  “Well, I have a few ideas for what we can do today,” Ethyl said.

  We followed as she led our walk off campus and a few blocks away. We came to what looked like it would have been a shopping center, but maybe the college or some alumni had purchased the land and made a center with everything a college student could want within walking distance. There was a dollar theater that only played movies that were out of theaters, but still had enough variety that we might get lucky. It held a ten-lane bowling alley, a few batting cages, and a small go-cart track. The concession stand served a theater-meets-sports-venue menu.

  Also in the parking lot was a small grocery with deli and bakery service, a coffee shop and book store with a clever name about grinding, a couple of clothing stores, and a sit-down or carry-out restaurant. Convenience for the carless or gas price conscious.

  “Lady and gentleman, part one. Take your pick. This should keep us busy until lunch. At which point, I had a lunch date which is now a double date. So, at one, we have definite plans,” Ethyl said with a coy smile.

  “You have a date?” I said, realizing I sounded more shocked and concerned than I should.

  “Sure do. Her name is Allison. She was at the pool one day when I stayed to swim after practice. She was very particular in the way she placed her things, postured herself before a dive. We ended up spending the afternoon together,” she said, still smiling.

  “Can’t wait to meet her,” Scott said genuinely.

  “Well, until then,” Ethyl said, waiting for our decision on what to do first.

  “I’d like to bowl a little bit,” I said.

  “Sounds fun,” Scott seconded.

  “Bowling it is. After that, Scott can impress me at the batting cages,” Ethyl said.

  We all bowled pretty well. I lost both games, but not by much. Ethyl and Scott each won one. At the batting cages I decided to just watch, so they each played one round and were ready to get in a quick game of bumper cars before meeting Allison. I out-drove them both.

  Allison arrived just as we made our way to the restaurant in the plaza they had originally arranged for their lunch date, but instead of two Scott requested a table for four. Allison seemed flexible and friendly. She was a theater major and athlete, studying a variety of martial arts. She wanted to be a stunt worker in film. She said they made a lot of money.

  “I guess I just never thought of anyone wanting to do that, but I guess actors who also chase an adrenaline rush might,” I said.

  “Yeah, most people think I want to use it as a stepping stone to action movies or something. That’s not it at all. Not for me, anyway. Movies push the imagination and can make us really stretch the limits of where our bodies can go and what they can do. For every person who loves a sport, dance, or whatever there is a stand-out movie moment where some stunt performer pushed movement to the extreme. I want to be the person in those moments, whether they know it’s me or not,” she said.

  “That’s interesting,” Scott chimed in. “I want to go into politics and public service. Becca and I come from such a small city. I’ve always thought it would be nice to go back to our home town after college and help it grow into something even better than it already is.”

  “That’s just enough compliment to hide the tough-love encouragement to improve,” Allison said. “You already have some political skills, clearly.”

  “It’s a nice little place, but it could stand to grow a little bit,” I agreed. “Branch out and let sunshine from the outside world in.”

  We were eating and doing the get-to-know-you routine every introduction between college st
udents seemed to include. Where are you from? Why this school? What’s your major?

  All of Allison’s answers seemed practical, thought out, and fine. Allison seemed fine. I would even say likable, but not quite enough for Ethyl.

  Scott seemed to like her alright. I had learned to read him over the years. He thought she was okay, but not long term, so he would ride out things as long as his friend was interested in her. Ethyl seemed to be enjoying our newest companion’s company.

  After we finished eating, Allison only had a little time before she had practice at one of her martial art classes. Scott and I checked the movie listing at the theater to give Ethyl time to say goodbye. When I looked to see if Ethyl was coming I caught a glimpse of them kissing. Part of me felt disappointed.

  “Allison would be bummed to miss this. There are a lot of action movies playing today,” Scott said.

  Chapter 6: Ethyl

  We ended up seeing a Liam Neeson double feature matinee. One was action; the other was romance. Rebecca sat in the middle. Scott seemed relaxed, but she was uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure why, but as the movie progressed she relaxed. She rested an elbow at each arm rest and placed her hands in her lap. Shortly after she did this, Scott reached over and held one of her hands.

  After the second movie we decided to have dinner on campus. We went back to Scott’s dorm for the pool tournament after dinner.

  “Have either of you ever played?” I asked them.

  “Surprisingly, we did have bowling, pool, and a few other activities back home. Becca is actually pretty good at pool,” he said.

  He gave her a proud, loving smile.

  “Thank you, Scott. That sweet talk won’t win you any points, though. I intend to whoop both your butts tonight,” Rebecca said.

  “Well, it’s nice to see a competitive side in you finally come out, Yoga Mama,” I said.

  “I’m no athlete physically, but billiards takes just as much from the mind as it does from the body. I need to know the mental and physical strengths and weaknesses of my opponents and myself. I need a trained eye and a well-honed arm and pool cue,” she said with a confident nod.

  “Well, Scott, now I see the woman you have been dating, not the girl who has been so wrapped up in her thoughts,” I said.

  We all laughed, but there really was something bolder about Rebecca. I didn’t know if it was the movie or actually doing something she really seemed to have a natural knack for. She suddenly had a comfort in herself and a confidence that held the attention of anyone in her presence.

  Even without that, by the end of the night everyone at the pool tournament for Scott’s dorm would have known her name. She ran the tables for the eight ball tournament. She took the second prize of a fifty-dollar gift certificate to a local clothing store. In the nine ball circuit she tied for third. She and Scott’s roommate shared the prize of class supplies donated by the campus bookstore.

  By the time the tournament was over, we needed to leave to be back at the dorms by curfew. Rebecca kissed Scott goodbye and he stayed behind to help his RA and one or two others clean everything up.

  Once we were away from his building I decided to speak as freely with Rebecca as she had with me.

  “If you aren’t happy with Scott, you need to tell him. He’s a nice guy and he cares a lot about you, but he could be investing those feelings in someone who returns them. You two will be friends after, he just might need a little time,” I said.

  “I know. I have decided I need to just go ahead and break up with him. It’s best for him, but I think it is best for me too,” she replied.

  “Good. You need to explore and test the waters yourself. I think there is more to you than even you have figured out.”

  “Well, I think I am learning some things,” she said.

  She let go of the things in her arms and stepped a little more quickly to be in front of me. Then, out of nowhere, she kissed me.

  “For someone who has only been with one boy her whole life, that is a pretty sudden change,” I said.

  “Very sudden,” said Scott.

  We turned to see that he had been following us, probably to catch up and walk us home. He was that nice guy who probably thought girls shouldn’t be walking alone at night.

  “Scott,” we both started explaining at once.

  He raised his hands for us to stop and started back toward his dorm.

  “Sorry,” Rebecca said to me.

  “You don’t need to apologize to me. I love a good kiss, but you may need to clear things up with Scott,” I said.

  “Was that okay?” she asked.

  “If you mean the kiss itself, yes, but that was all. You are still with Scott and you are both my friends, and you were there today, so you know I had a good time with Allison. You need to talk to Scott, and we all need to think about what just happened. We need to think about what is going to happen,” I said.

  She nodded. I continued my way back to our dorms. It was a good thing there weren’t evening rounds, because I never heard Rebecca come in.

  Chapter 7: Rebecca

  I caught up to Scott just before he reached his dorm.

  “Please forgive me,” I said as soon as I was at his side.

  “I already knew you didn’t want to be with me,” he said. “I just sort of hoped we’d either keep pretending or you would be friend enough to talk to me.”

  “You’re my best friend, Scott. That’s why everything has been so hard. I really didn’t even know what to say,” I replied.

  “How about, ‘Scott, I love you, but I think I’m a lesbian’? After all these years, anything you could have said would have been better than kissing someone else. I know you better than you know yourself. I even tried to give you hints and opportunities,” he said.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I figured out you were gay in high school,” he said.

  “What?” I asked, somewhat shocked and a little upset.

  “You were happy with me, but there seemed to be a different, awkward happiness around some of the girls we knew. I saw the same thing our first day here, but with a touch of hope,” he said.

  I shook my head, thinking over girls I couldn’t quite describe my feelings for or friendship with in high school.

  “Since we got to college you have been trying to push me away as well. Well, half-heartedly. It’s almost as if you can’t decide whether to end it with me or brave the idea of where you think we are supposed to go. Well, I have been thinking, too. I don’t want you just because you think we are supposed to be together or that you owe it to me to be together, or whatever,” he said.

  He was angry, but he was trying to be calm.

  “I knew we were ending. I could tell when you started trying to make me branch out in college. I half expected it since junior year in high school, but you kept agreeing to the idea of future plans for us. I kept hoping I was wrong, but I knew we were ending,” he said.

  “How did you know?” I asked.

  “Every time we have done something really new, like junior year when we had our class trip to the mountains, I would make a joke about temptation and pretend to look at the girls,” he said.

  “Yeah, so?” I asked

  “In that moment I always look at you. You really look at the girls, but not like you are worried about my temptation,” he said.

  I didn’t know what to say. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me.

  “You’re my best friend. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I always will love you,” I said, crying a bit.

  He sniffed and rested his chin on the top of my head.

  “I’ll always love you, too, Becca,” he said.

  He kissed my forehead. We walked around campus the rest of the night, talking.

  Chapter 8: Ethyl

  When I woke up Sunday morning, Rebecca had not made it back to the room. There was a note under the door that said she and Scott wanted to meet for lunch.

  That gave me the morning t
o get in touch with Allison. Things were still new, but I wanted to be up front with her. When I told her that Rebecca had kissed me the night before she wasn’t happy, but she was willing to move past it if I was.

  I didn’t take very long to think about it. I wasn’t willing to move past it. I was surprised, but not disappointed or upset when Rebecca kissed me. I tried to be supportive about things with her and Scott, but at the same time, I had felt a spark since I met them during move in. I wanted to be great friends with Scott, but I had my own feelings for Rebecca. Over time, as she went back and forth, trying to figure out her feelings for Scott, I had quietly tried to figure out my own feelings for her.

  I was nervous about having lunch with both of them together so soon after what happened, but we couldn’t avoid each other, so the best thing to do was to go ahead and hash things out.

  Their note said to meet them at the restaurant from the day before. When I arrived, they were seated and had ordered three Cokes and three waters. They were seated on opposite sides of a booth. I wasn’t sure which side I was supposed to sit on, so I pulled up a chair.

  They exchanged looks and then a laugh.

  “I’m sorry about last night,” Rebecca said. “I have had a lot on my mind for some time, and our kiss was the physical manifestation of a lot of mixed emotions.”

  “Well, you seem better now that you are getting things out,” I said.

  I looked between the two of them. They seemed calm and friendly toward each other.

  “Yes, and I want you to know that I have no hard feelings toward you from last night. Also, Becca filled me in on how she’s leaned on you and talked to you since we arrived. Thanks for being there for her,” Scott said.