Dear Cupid

by Julie Ortolon

  “It’s okay, I don’t mind,” Traci hastened to say. Her combat boot slammed against his foot. “Oh, sorry. I just hope it works before you lose all your toes.”

  “What’s a few toes between friends?” He smiled, even though he’d never felt more miserable. When he’d invited Kate to the party, he hadn’t planned on spending the evening watching her flirt with every man in the room but him. The song came to an end, and he and Traci instantly stepped apart.

  “Like, maybe you should go back to dancing with Jesse,” Traci suggested as they applauded the band. “At least when you do that, she notices a little. I think.”

  “I have a better idea,” Mike said near her ear as they left the dance floor. “Why don’t you ask Frank to dance? Sort of clear the playing field for me.”

  “Frank?” She blinked her owlish eyes at him. “You want me to dance with Frank Goldstein?”

  He sent her a pleading look.

  Traci’s cheeks puffed as she exhaled. “All right. But only if the band plays some real music. This country shit is too out there, you know?”

  Kate glanced up as they took their seats. For the barest instant, her smile faltered, then brightened as if she were intentionally turning up the wattage. “Having fun?” she asked.

  “The time of my life,” Mike insisted, kicking back in the chair as if he actually meant it.

  “Glad to hear it.” She looked so damned sincere, his ego took another nosedive.

  “Yep, Traci here’s a real natural at the two-step.” He draped his arm around the startled makeup artist, and gave her a one-arm hug. “Isn’t that right, Traci?”

  Traci choked on her drink. “Yeah, a real natural.”

  “In fact, she was just telling me how she could dance all night to this music. Too bad my feet are wearing out.” He nudged Traci, feeling only a twinge of guilt on behalf of Frank’s feet.

  With a sigh, Traci turned to the FX supervisor. “So, Goldstein, you want to, like, give it a whirl? This two-step sh—stuff is totally radical.”

  “Excuse me?” Frank frowned at her.

  “Dance,” she said between clenched teeth. “Do you want to dance with me?”

  “Oh, well, I ...” He looked at Kate, clearly reluctant to leave her side. Mike’s sympathy vanished in a heartbeat. He hoped Traci annihilated the man’s toes.

  “Come on.” Standing, Traci grabbed Frank’s arm and all but hauled him out of his chair. As they left, silence fell at the end of the table where Mike finally sat alone with Kate.

  “So,” she said after a moment. “I take it things are going well with you and Traci?”

  “Couldn’t be better.” Didn’t she care at all that he’d spent most of the evening dancing with other women?

  “I’m glad to hear it.” She smiled.

  “Yeah, I’m sure you are.” He narrowed his eyes at her, looking for any spark of attraction. “After all, the sooner you shove me off on someone else, the sooner you’ll be rid of me.”

  “That was the general idea.” Her smile turned a bit brittle. “Now, if you’ll excuse me ...” She scraped her chair back and rose.

  “Where are you going?” He reached for her hand on reflex. Was that hurt he saw in her eyes?

  “Outside.” She shook him off. “I need some fresh air?”

  As she hurried away, he forced himself to stay put. Well, hell. He’d certainly managed to clear the playing field—completely.

  ~ ~ ~

  Kate gripped the rail of the balcony, tipped her head back and stared at the dazzling sky. I refuse to be jealous, she told herself for the hundredth time that evening. I refuse!

  But the little green monster remained lodged in her chest, digging in with vicious claws.

  She tried again to tell herself Mike was off limits. He’d hired her to do a job, and she was determined to do it to the best of her abilities. She had no business even thinking about getting involved with the man herself. Not when she was trying to get her life on steady ground. The last thing in the world she wanted was the emotional roller coaster of a relationship, no matter how much the man tempted her physically.

  Especially since Mike was very serious about wanting a permanent relationship. While all she wanted was ... well, him.

  Her eyes drifted closed as she pictured his slow, sexy gin, his laughing blue eyes. She imagined him pulling her into his arms, their bodies brushing together ...

  What am I doing? Her eyes popped open. Physical attraction was no basis for a relationship. She blew out a breath, wishing she could release the sexual tension inside her as easily as she released the air from her lungs. A walk, she decided. What she needed was a nice long walk that would put some distance between her and temptation.

  ~ ~ ~

  Mike forced himself to wait a full thirty minutes before going after her. Stepping out onto the balcony, he scanned the dimly lit grounds, which sloped down toward the rows of bungalows that lined the cliff. Where could she be?

  Descending the stairs, he took a stone path that meandered through the gardens. The sounds of katydids and splashing water filled the night as the music from the bar grew distant. Rounding the corner of a high retaining wall, he found her seated in a lounger by the swimming pool, gazing up at the sky.

  He stopped for a moment, mesmerized by the sight of her bathed in moonlight. Behind her, a waterfall splashed down the side of the wall into the far end of the swimming pool. Potted flowers and ferns created the illusion of an enchanted lagoon.

  He longed to go to her, to sink to his knees beside her chair and cover her mouth with his own, to cover her body with his body.

  Shoving his hands in his pockets, he cleared his throat. “So, this is where you’ve been hiding.”

  She jumped at the sound of his voice, but shadows hid her expression as she turned to peer into the darkness that surrounded him. “Just getting some air,” she said, her voice high with tension.

  “It’s a nice night for it.” He came toward her, into the light, hoping to put her at ease. Before he could join her on the lounger, though, she scrambled to her feet. He stopped a short distance away and tipped his head toward the sky. “Great view.”

  “Yes, it is.” He felt her study his profile, and forced himself to stay still. The light from the pool danced about them, bathing everything it touched in blue.

  “I’ll never get used to all the stars here. Real stars,” he clarified. “Not the kind that live in Hollywood Hills. Out in L.A. you’re lucky to see any stars in the sky for all the city lights.”

  “Do you miss it? LA., I mean.”

  “Sometimes.” He lowered his gaze to smile at her. “But I like it here better. Here there’s more room and less pretentiousness. That and no earthquakes,” he added with a slow smile.

  “No earthquakes,” Kate repeated. Turning away, she wondered if he’d brought some of those tremors with him, for her knees had begun to shake. In the distance, she heard the band play the opening strains to the Mavericks’ tune, My Secret Flame. Mike came up behind her. Her breath caught and held as she waited for him to touch her, feared that he would even as she feared that he wouldn’t.

  “Dance with me, Kate.”

  She shook her head. “I already told you, we shouldn’t. People will get the wrong idea about us.”

  “I don’t see anyone here but you and me.” His hands settled on her shoulders and the warmth of his touch relaxed her muscles. “Dance with me. I need the practice.”

  “You seem to need practice in a great many areas.” She chided him with her eyes as she turned.

  “Noticed that, did you?” He slipped his arm around her waist and drew her against him.

  She turned her head, trying to concentrate on the music rather than how well his body fit against hers, how well they moved together. He was tall enough that her head could easily rest on his shoulder if she let it. As he danced her around the pool, the lyrics of hidden love played softly in the night air.

  His hand moved up her back, drawing her close
r. Against her better judgment, she settled against him, letting him fill her senses. So this is how it feels to be held in his arms, she thought. They danced toward the seclusion of the waterfall and his lips moved against her hair as he sang softly to the music. “ ‘My heart beats fast when I hear your name—you’ll always be my secret flame ...’ ”

  The words sounded like a soft confession, straight from his heart. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to believe that he meant them. Was it so wrong to want, just once, to be the most important thing in a man’s life?

  His steps slowed as the song sighed into silence. They stood for a moment, neither of them moving. Slowly, she lifted her head from his shoulder and opened her eyes. His face hovered above hers as he cupped her cheek in his hand and lowered his mouth.

  Entranced, she welcomed the first brush of his lips, so long awaited, so long feared. His mouth retreated and returned, as soft and hesitant as a young girl’s dream. His hand slipped into her hair as he deepened the kiss. She tightened her arms around his neck, wanting, yearning. Emotions tumbled through her, too many to grasp.

  He walked her backward and honeysuckle enveloped her as her back pressed against the vine-covered wall. Past and future faded. Nothing existed but now, the quiet splash of the waterfall and the glorious pleasure of his body molded to hers.

  “Kate,” he whispered hoarsely as his mouth trailed down her neck. His hands moved restlessly over her sides, as if wanting to touch her more intimately but not quite daring to try. She arched her head back, giving him access to her neck, wanting more, but fearing the very thing she craved. He pressed his lips to her pulse, kissing her neck with abandon. “You’re driving me crazy in that dress. You know that, don’t you?”

  A hum of acknowledgment purred deep in her throat as she felt his arousal against her stomach. Resolve crumbled in the face of desire. She nudged him with her hips and thrilled to the sound of his quickly drawn breath. Her hands ran over his shoulders, his chest, down to his stomach, exploring the well-honed body that lay hidden beneath his clothes.

  He took her mouth again, his kiss rough and ravenous. Her heart soared at his obvious hunger. So, this is how it feels to be wanted. Truly wanted. She lifted one leg along the outside of his. His hands moved to her thigh, pulling her hard against him. The dress bunched about her hips as he cupped and kneaded her bottom. Heat flooded through her. Their bodies pressed and moved together as the pleasure built.

  “Christ.” He broke the kiss, his breathing ragged as his forehead dropped to hers. “This was not a good idea.”

  “Hmm?” she murmured.

  “I want you, Kate.” With a knuckle beneath her chin, he tipped her face toward his, waited for her eyes to open. “And I’m tired of pretending that I don’t.”

  The haze of desire receded enough for his words to sink in.

  His gaze bored into hers. “I want you.”

  She shook her head to clear it. “Oh, my God,” she whispered, horrified. “What am I doing?”

  “It’s okay.” He brushed a kiss onto her forehead. “Don’t get panicky on me.”

  “I’m not panicky.” Her voice rose. “I—I just think you’re right, that’s all. This was not a good idea.”

  “Actually, it was a great idea, just really bad timing.” The smile that flashed across his face was so endearing, her heart clenched. “A problem we could quickly remedy by leaving.”

  “Yes. Yes, I think that’s an excellent idea.” She scrambled out of his arms and staggered a few steps away. Pulling the hem of her dress down, she tucked a stray curl back into place. “I think we should leave.”

  He came up behind her, his arm going about her waist as he snuggled her bottom against the hardness of his groin. “I’ll go get the car.” His lips feathered kisses across her shoulder and her knees went weak. “We can be at my place in five minutes.” His lips moved across her nape to her other shoulder. “Make that four.”

  She closed her eyes as her body longed to give in, to let him soothe the ache that lay deep inside her. “Mike, no. That’s not what I meant.”

  “Hmm?” The sound rumbled against her back.

  “I meant that I want to go to my place.” Closing her eyes, she swallowed against tears of frustration. “I want to go home—alone.”

  His body went still. Slowly he lifted his head. “Kate,” he sighed. “I want to be with you, I won’t lie about that, but I won’t push for more than you’re ready to give.”

  “You’re already pushing!” She stepped away and turned to face him. “Don’t you understand? I’m not interested in a relationship.”

  He had the gall to laugh. “That’s ridiculous. After a kiss like that, you can’t tell me you’re not interested.”

  “All right, physically, yes, maybe I am interested. But that doesn’t make it right.”

  “Right?”

  “For me. This—You—Me—” She made a hopeless gesture with her hand. “It’s all wrong. For me.”

  He stared at her a long time before resignation settled over his face. “All right,” he said at last. “If that’s what you want, I’ll take you home.”

  “Yes.” She swallowed again, not knowing if she wanted to sigh in relief or cry. “That’s exactly what I want.”

  “I’ll get the car, then.”

  She nodded, refusing to meet his eyes. “I’ll meet you out front.”

  Without another word, he walked away. She bit her lip, fighting the urge to call him back. She’d made the right choice, dammit. They had no future together. Mike wanted more than she was ready or willing to give. Yes, she’d made the right choice. For both of them.

  So why did it feel so wrong?

  ~ ~ ~

  Mike wanted to kick himself as he drove Kate home. Of all the stupid things to do! He couldn’t believe he’d kissed her like that. Not that kissing her was a mistake. That part was good. Fantastic, actually. She’d tasted exactly as he’d known she would, as if he’d known her taste all his life. But he should have left it there, one tantalizing kiss, just hot enough to give her something to think about, but not threatening enough to scare her off.

  He glanced sideways. She sat perfectly still, staring straight ahead with a wide-eyed-look that twisted his gut. In his thirty-eight years of life, he’d met a lot of women and certainly more than one divorcée, but he had never met any woman as gun-shy as Kate.

  He gripped the steering wheel and fought the urge to ask her what the hell her ex-husband had done to make her so leery of men. How could anyone hurt this woman? In the short time he’d known her, he could already see that his first impressions were right. She was intelligent, funny, sexy. And he wanted her—more than he’d ever wanted anything. Yet, for the first time in his life, he didn’t have a clue how to go after his goal.

  “Look, Kate,” he finally said. “I’m sorry about what happened back there—”

  “It’s okay,” she hastened to say. “There’s nothing to apologize for. I simply think we should keep things on a business level, since I am working for you.”

  “You’re right.” Stupid, idiot, moron. She’d told him specifically: You can date someone who works with you but not for you, and keep it light until you know if they’re interested.

  Well, he’d certainly broken both of those rules. “I didn’t mean to push you into anything you’re not ready for yet.”

  “What do you mean ‘yet’?” Her eyes grew larger. “Please tell me you haven’t put me on your mental list of possible wives.”

  “No!” he insisted, even though she was the only name on that list. “You’ve made it quite clear you’re not interested in the position.”

  “Good.” Nodding, she went back to watching the road.

  “It’s just that I thought in the meantime, we could, you know ...” He trailed off, cringing at his own words. What a dumb thing to say. He held his breath, waiting to be flamed with an adamant refusal.

  “No,” she said at last, in a much quieter voice than he’d expected. He glanced
over in time to catch the frown that dimpled her brow. “No, I don’t think that would be a good idea at all.”

  Hope flared to life. Unless he mistook the signs, she was considering the possibility of an affair with him. And if he managed to keep his big mouth shut about his true intentions, who knew where that could lead?

  When they reached her cabin, he pulled up under the grove of trees and cut the engine. She scrambled from the car, denying him the chance to open the door for her. Gritting his teeth, he followed her onto the tiny front porch. The porch light gave off a feeble glow, casting a faint halo over her tousled hair as she dug in her purse for her keys.

  “Will I see you tomorrow?” he asked.

  She looked up at him, frowning. “Tomorrow’s Sunday.”

  “You’re right, I meant Monday. I assume Jim will be by to fix the hole in my ceiling.”

  She bit her lip. “I’m sorry about your house.”

  He plowed his hands through his hair. “I don’t care about the house.” I care about you. “So, will I see you Monday or not?”

  “I can’t come until afternoon. I have too much work to do on my column.”

  “Fine. As long as you’re there to keep an eye on the crew.”

  She nodded, without meeting his eyes. They stood there for an awkward moment, neither of them moving. More than anything, he wanted to gather her into his arms and indulge in a long, wet, good-night kiss. Or, better yet, have her invite him inside. That, however, was not going to happen tonight.

  He sighed in frustration. “Well, then, I guess I’ll see you Monday.”

  Before he could make an even bigger fool of himself, he turned and headed back to his car. With every step, he vowed that the next time he saw her, he’d find some way to get her back into his arms and show her he was right for her—as right for her as she was for him.

  Chapter 12

  Dear Cupid,

  Every time I try to do something romantic, like buy my girlfriend flowers, she gets all huffy and says I’m just trying to get into her pants. I don’t get it. Do women like roses or not?