by Roxy Wilson
Lost in his thoughts and worried about his mother, Fitz finally managed to grab a few hours of sleep.
In the morning, he woke up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “What?” He jumped up, disoriented and confused. Reality struck when his gaze took in the white coat of the doctor and the somber expression on his face. “Is she…?” He couldn’t complete the sentence.
“Elena is doing much better than expected.” The doctor grinned, not realizing how close he came to giving Fitz a heart attack. “In fact, you’re allowed to see her for a few minutes.”
“Thank you.” Fitz gazed at Janay.
She stared at the two of them. Tears ran down her cheeks. She looked as delighted as he felt. “Go, go, go!” she chanted with a breathless cheer.
“No. You come with me.” He grabbed her hand and tugged.
“But…” Janay turned towards the doctor.
“You can both go, but only for five minutes. We don’t want to exert her.”
They both rushed out to visit her.
His graceful, elegant mother looked miserable in the hospital bed. She wore a green hospital gown while looking frail. “Hey…”
“You gave me a scare,” he complained as he leaned over to kiss her. But seeing her, happiness bubbled in his chest. She was alive and doing well. “Don’t do it ever again.”
A smile lifted her lips. “I’ll try not to do it again. She glanced at Janay. “Hey, dear. Don’t tell me you also stayed the night.”
“We’re just glad that you’re doing well.” Janay kissed her on the cheek. Not only did she know his mother since she was a kid, but she always acted very fond of the older woman. “And now you need to get out of the hospital as quickly as possible.”
“Sure, will.”
The nurse hovered over them.
Janay signaled to Fitz.
He kissed his mother and promised to visit in the evening if the doctor allowed. They stepped out. Fitz felt a lot more relieved than before.
“Let’s go have breakfast,” Janay suggested.
“Yeah.” Fitz followed her out. They hailed a cab. “We could go to my place.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Hmm…I’m afraid my selection of breakfast would be a lot better.”
“All right, but you’re cooking.”
“Typical male!” She closed her eyes and leaned back. “It was a close call, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, it was.” Love welled in his heart for the woman who could feel his pain almost as acutely as he did. He also knew her bond with his mother was strong too. No other woman would have stayed the night with him in the hospital. Janay is the one. Now, more than ever, he felt sure of it.
If she thought she would get away from him, she had another thought coming. He would chase her to the end of the world if it would mean making her his. His to hold. His to protect. His to love.
When they reached her apartment, he paid the cabbie.
After they stepped into her apartment, she headed for the bathroom. “Just give me a few minutes and then I’ll start breakfast.”
“I’ll start the ball rolling.” All night long, he didn’t feel hungry but suddenly, he was famished.
By the time she came out after a quick shower, he’d made the batter for the pancakes.
“That was fast. I thought I was the one doing the cooking.”
“I like to surprise you.” He grinned. “Hand me the pan, Madame,” he said with a mock flourish.
While he made pancakes, she set up some fruit and coffee on the kitchen table and they had a nice breakfast together. They ate quickly, in companionable silence. There wasn’t much to say. People who stuck together through difficult times didn’t need words to communicate. At least, that is how he felt. Once breakfast was over, he rinsed the plates and she set them in the dishwasher. He yawned.
She laughed. “Sleepy? You could crash here if you want.”
“Yeah, I was thinking about it.” He could smell the fragrance that enveloped her. Her hair hung down, just past her shoulders. He rarely ever saw her locks loose like this, as Janay preferred the practicality of wearing her hair in a ponytail. Her liquid, black eyes were full of compassion. His hands moved as if of their own accord and he placed them around her waist. “Thank you. I can’t tell you how much it meant that you were there for me.”
“It’s all right.”
He couldn’t take his gaze off her. Her face, scrubbed clean, glowed. Her lips beckoned him. “No, it’s not. Not everyone would have done it. You’ll never know who you are to me.”
“You know me.” She grinned. “I’ll collect sooner or later.”
He wasn’t sure which one of them made the first move. But they were in each other’s arms. The brief contact set him on fire. It felt like an electric current pulsing through his veins. His lips bent to claim hers and he banished all thoughts from his mind. He didn’t want to think about what he was doing. There would be no point in finding the logic of it. This was illogical and spontaneous.
The kiss was slow and soft. The erotic dance that their tongues engaged in became desperate. He could feel the bulge in his pants that indicated his arousal. Need burned like fire in his muscles and nerves. After denying this for so long, he couldn’t contain himself.
What did she think about this situation?
He didn’t know. But he sure as hell hoped she wouldn’t stop him.
When her lips remained glued to his, hope flared in his heart. He lifted her and carried her into the living room. The bedroom was too far, for what he had in mind. He laid her on the steel-gray rug and removed her clothes. Quickly, they joined together, naked, needy and greedy. Her body was far more perfect than he ever imagined. Her long, sensuous curves and smooth, tan skin simply took his breath away.
How could I have denied myself this bounty for so long?
His fingers glided over the smooth, taut skin of her stomach and his lips captured hers again. The kiss was hot and fiery and invoked a blistering lust that was hard to contain. He trailed a line of kisses down her throat and onto her shoulder. Her scent, a delicious concoction of vanilla and coconut, raised his libido up a notch. The nipples on her breasts stood up rosy and proud. He took a swollen bud in his mouth, savoring the taste and shape of it. She gasped loudly. He suckled on one. Tingles of desire wound their way down to his belly and his erection thickened in response.
Her fingers speared through his hair, keeping his mouth pinned to her breast as if she couldn’t bear it if he stopped.
He sensed her need as surely as he did his.
With his knee, he nudged her legs apart. His tip hovered on the sweet spot that was already wet and moist. She arched her back under the tender assault. With a quick thrust of his hips, he shoved his way in.
Her muscles expanded and stretched to accommodate him. She moaned with pleasure. Her breath hot against his mouth, her lips greedy for more. They were fused together, lip to lip, toe to toe, as intimately as possible.
Rapidly, almost desperately, he stroked in and out. She matched him. No other woman completed him like she did. No other woman drove him to such dizzying heights of passion ever before. The yearning for release built inside him, taking him higher and higher on the wild ride. He swayed on the brink of the steep abyss. Still, he waited as she gasped and moaned. He pushed her higher, faster, harder until finally she yelled as the orgasm hit her, like a tornado. Only when he felt the contraction of her inner walls lessen, did he extricated himself from inside her.
Then she did something amazing, she arched her slender back, as if she offered herself as a living gift to him. The expression in her eyes gave him an unspoken permission. Permission to spill his essence on her. He groaned from the sheer pleasure of it, then he collapsed from utter exertion, despite his almost maniacal fitness regimen.
For a long while, they stayed together, silent.
What did he just do? Whatever he did was the most amazing experience of his life.
Yet, it might have ruined the one thing h
e treasured above all—her friendship. He’d also spoiled his entire plan and risked her love. She was coming around, he’d felt sure of it. Now, what would happen after what they experienced together? What did she feel about it?
He wanted to ask her so many questions but no words escaped his lips. It felt terrible to not be able to talk to the woman with whom he used to discuss everything under the sun.
Would he lose her forever? He sure hoped not. He prayed this was not so.
Now, that he tasted her, he could never leave her alone. He loved her, totally and irrevocably. She was his sun, his moon, his everything. Then, if she didn’t understand it, perhaps the best thing to do would be to move somewhere far, far away, so he could live alone with the pain in his heart.
If he couldn’t have her, he didn’t want anything or anyone else.
CHAPTER SEVEN
While they both lay there, shock and pain coursed through Janay’s veins. She felt utterly ashamed of her own behavior. Fitz was at his most vulnerable now, given the fact that he’d barely escaped losing his mother. Naturally, he wasn’t thinking straight. She should’ve maintained control of the situation. How could she make love to him so wantonly? He was her best friend. Did she ruin the relationship they shared for so long?
Losing him would kill her.
She didn’t want that—ever.
So, how could they continue to be friends after making love? They’d crossed the line; friends don’t have sex with friends. It’s an absolute no-no. She would never consider having Fitz with benefits, even though they’d just had sex that still boggled her mind. Yes, she felt more than confused. On the one hand, she wanted to beg him to consider her as his girlfriend. For too long, she fought the attraction—but no longer could she deny her feelings for Fitz. They ran true and deep. On the other hand, he’d been thinking along the lines of settling down and he’d possibly found the person to do that with. Maria. He seemed to be genuinely interested in her. How could she come between them when she’d been the one who set them up?
And yet, this is exactly what she just did.
Shame and regret roiled inside her in equal measure. She hated to feel this way. Why, oh why, didn’t she put a stop to this before it got to this point? So massively stupid of her to put him in this difficult position. She sat up, gathered her clothes and hurried into her bedroom. When she came back, showered and dressed, he sat at the kitchen table.
“I’ve got to get to work.”
His expression looked incredulous. “You don’t have any gigs today. Remember?”
Damn it!
She forgot about that, but no way would she sit here talking about what just happened. He would tell her it’d been a mistake and that would just kill her. She couldn’t face his rejection. Not when she harbored such strong feelings for him. How could she have been silly enough to assume she would be happy being just his friend?
She loved him.
She couldn’t admit it to him, though. He would brush her feelings aside. This was probably nothing more than sex for him, but for her, it’d been the culmination of all her emotions. It would be better to get out before she lost whatever little sense she still possessed and blurted out her love for him. She needed to get away before she made this worse. “I just remembered that I’ve some urgent work in the office.”
“We should sit and talk…”
She didn’t quite look at him as she picked up her purse and keys. “Some other time, Fitz. I really have to go. Would you please let yourself out and close the door? It will lock automatically.”
He stood, looking flabbergasted. “But…”
She rushed out before he could stop her. Swiftly, she took the stairs and strode down. Of course, she didn’t have to report to work today. The office was closed. She could go out and sit in a café until she was sure he’d left her place. Damn it, why go to such hassles when she had better options? She stopped at the second floor and pressed the bell.
Lexi opened the door. “Hi. Come in. Brielle and I were discussing the wedding plans while we decorated the Christmas tree.”
Janay rushed in and closed the door. “Is Cole around?”
Lexi cocked an eyebrow. She moved to take the tinsel from Brielle’s hands. “No. He went to the grocery store. Why? What’s wrong?” Her eyes widened. “Fitz’s mother?”
Janay dropped on the couch. “No, she’s doing well. It’s—I need to talk about something personal.”
Brielle hung a carnation-red ball on the tree. She stepped back to admire it. “What is it?”
Janay dropped her head in her hands. “I just made the biggest mistake of my life.”
After draping the tinsel on the tree, Lexi came over to rub her back. “What is it, sweetie? It can’t be that bad.”
“Oh! It’s worse than what you think. Much worse!” She gulped and pressed her hands to her eyes. Tears threatened to slide down but she choked them back. What if she lost Fitz forever? Without him, she would be lost. He wasn’t just a friend, he was so much more. Now, when she really considered the possibility that she might never see him again, it hit her full on—he was the anchor in her life. She depended on him. More than that, she loved him. Not as a friend, but as a man with whom she could easily imagine spending her life with. “I’ve ruined everything.”
“What have you done? Murder?” Lexi joked.
“Worse than that!” she admitted.
“Tell us everything. Don’t keep it inside you.” Leaving the tree and the decorations that lay waiting in the box, Brielle gripped her hands. “Whatever it is, we’ll be there for you.”
“I—I slept with Fitz.”
Her sisters simply stared at her.
She could understand their shock. They literally saw Fitz grow up with her. In their eyes, he was like a brother they never had. How could she have done something like this? How could she make them understand what she felt for him was far more than just brotherly? If she told them, she loved him, would they understand? She doubted it. No one would be able to comprehend how she could have felt like this and never realized the depths of her own emotions.
“You—slept with Randy?” Brielle asked in a quiet voice.
Janay nodded and couldn’t quite meet their eyes.
Lexi snickered. Catching Brielle’s fulminating gaze, she stopped. “Sorry.”
“Tell us how it happened,” Brielle ordered.
From the beginning, she told the whole tale of how she set him up with other women. Then about how they began to spend time together, so she could get to know him more. She told them about going to the fair and the various others times they met. Then she explained about the women she chose for him. “He likes this new girl, Maria. She’s actually perfect for him. Beautiful, too.”
Lexi opened her mouth, then closed it. “Umm? What did Randy say after you guys did it?”
Janay winced. She could recall with perfect alacrity his horrified expression when she rushed out. He would never see her again, she felt sure of it. “I didn’t give him a chance to talk. Afterwards, I just left.”
“So, he still might be upstairs?” Lexi glanced up as if she could sense him.
“I don’t know. He probably left.”
“But to me this sounds like—” Lexi stopped when Brielle gave her a menacing look. “I see. Hmm…this is strange.”
“Strange isn’t how I would describe it. Mad. Crazy. Stupid!” Janay banged her hands on the counter. “How could I’ve been so reckless?”
Much to her surprise, Brielle began to laugh.
Janay glared at her sister. Was she actually making fun of her?
How could she?
Brielle always acted like the compassionate and considerate one in the family.
Janay expected more support from her.
Brielle wiped her eyes. “Sorry. It just reminds me of that stupid thing I did to Toby.”
“This is totally different.”
“So? You love him, don’t you?” Lexi asked her.
Lexi�
��s question took her breath away. Of course, she should’ve known her sisters would be able to see through her in an instant. “Yes, but there’s a difference. Toby also loved Brielle. Fitz thinks of me as a friend.”
“But when he asked you to set him up…” Lexi started again.
Brielle shook her head with warning.
Lexi halted. “I—well, I think you should have a serious talk with him.”
“I wouldn’t know where to begin.”
“Maybe you should let him make the next move.”
“He’ll probably never want to see me again,” she whined.
“I wouldn’t worry about that.” Lexi waved a hand. “I mean, you’ve been friends for a long time. He wouldn’t want to put an end to your relationship so quickly.”
“I don’t know…” Janay stood. “…I’m just tired. Maybe, I need some sleep and then I can think about this.”
“You’ll have to deal with it at some point,” Brielle urged. “If he’s still upstairs—?”
“I can’t.” Tears slid down her cheeks. “Lexi, can I crash in your guest room?”
“Sure, sweetie.” Lexi hugged her.
Janay dragged her feet to the bedroom and crawled into bed. Even though her mind was running active, her body felt more tired than she realized. Within minutes, she fell fast asleep. She woke up two hours later and a casual search around Lexi’s apartment, revealed what she’d already suspected, judging by the relative silence of the place. No one was in the house, except her. The Christmas tree was ablaze with fairy lights. A white, snowy angel peered at her from the top of it. She found Lexi’s note on the counter. She and Brielle had gone out to buy some stuff for the wedding. Janay felt a pang of guilt. She’d been so wrapped up in her own problems that she forgot the various twists and turns of her sisters’ lives. Once she dealt with Fitz, she would start paying more attention to them. She trudged to her apartment, but not before making sure she’d locked Lexi’s door.
