Conviction

by Joey Bush

  “I think it went pretty well,” I said.

  Ollie nodded. “Yeah. He obviously liked the food—he ate everything on the plate.”

  “Well that’s good.” Lena nodded. “I was surprised he was here for so long! I figured it would be a quick sort of thing.”

  “We ended up talking for a little while,” I said.

  “That’s good too. You’re establishing rapport. So, how’d you leave it?”

  “He said he’d be in touch.”

  “That sounds promising.” Lena got up from the booth. “I’m sure he’s going around to tons of different places, but I think it would just be the neatest thing if we were in a magazine!”

  And, I had to agree, especially a big magazine like that.

  “Did we just tell that guy everything about ourselves?” Ollie asked after Lena had got up from the booth.

  “I think we did. That wasn’t my plan—it just sort of happened.”

  “And did you refer to me as your boyfriend?”

  “Errrr, yeah. That just sort of happened, too.”

  “I’ll say.” He nodded slowly, but he had a smile on his face. “Can’t say I mind that too much at all.”

  After the breakfast rush was over the next day, I made myself an iced coffee and was eyeing the last blueberry muffin left in the case when I heard my phone ringing and vibrating from inside my purse. I took a big swig of coffee and retrieved it, just missing the call. There were several missed calls from that same number, one which I didn’t recognize. I called the number back, and a familiar-sounding voice answered.

  “Hi Wren!”

  “Hi! Um, who is this?”

  “It’s Hunter.”

  “Oh!” I said. “Hi! How’s it going?”

  “Good. So, there’s something I wanted to run by you. My ex-girlfriend, Sarah, is an editor at Woman’s Day and the feature article she was planning to run next issue fell through. The writer had a family emergency and isn’t going to be able to turn the article in on time. So . . . I went ahead and pitched Sarah this idea I had, and she loved it.”

  “That’s great,” I said, even though I wasn’t quite sure why he had called me up to tell me this.

  “The idea I pitched was about you. Well—a feature article about you and Ollie. Not just about your restaurant, but about the two of you, and how this all came to be. Because I’ve been thinking about all the stuff you guys told me and it’s got a lot of appeal, and when I told Sarah, she thinks it’d be the perfect human interest story for the magazine. People want to read something like that, something where someone made a mistake but was able to find redemption. What do you think of that?”

  “Wow,” I said. “Really? I think that sounds pretty cool, actually! Totally not what I was expecting to hear you say. I’ll have to ask Ollie, though.”

  “Of course. Why don’t you do that and get back to me as soon as you can—if he’s cool with it, I’d like to get started writing this up.”

  “Will you need to interview us anymore?”

  “You know, I recorded everything that we talked about yesterday, so I think that’s probably more than enough material to go off of. I would like to come back out there with Jill, my photographer, and have her take some pictures of the two of you at the restaurant, maybe at the ranch where Ollie works. That’s not too far, is it?”

  “No, it’s not far at all.”

  “Great. Run it by him and then get back to me, okay?”

  “Sure! I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

  I knew Ollie would be working, so instead of calling, I hopped into the Jeep and drove over to the ranch. I had an appointment with Dr. Mike in a little while, but I figured I could swing by here first and run the idea by Ollie. I didn’t want to keep Hunter waiting.

  I found Ollie in the corral with Ditto, and while the horse wasn’t within arm’s reach, he was closer than I’d ever seen.

  Ollie turned slowly away and came over to the fence. “Hey,” he said. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” He smiled and leaned over the top of the fence and gave me a kiss.

  “I won’t stay long,” I said, “I know you’re busy. But there’s something exciting that I wanted to run by you. So, Hunter called me and said that he’d like to write a feature article about us.”

  “Oh, yeah? What about the other diners he’s gone to? Or was he that impressed with your place that he thinks it’s just going to eclipse anywhere else? True statement, by the way.”

  “I think he’s still going to do that article. No, this is for a different magazine, Woman’s Day.”

  “Never heard of it.”

  “I’ve seen it in line at the supermarket checkout. I’ve never actually read it, but it’s pretty popular. It’s a national magazine.”

  He cracked a dry smile. “So, we’d be famous?”

  “No. Well, maybe a little. I don’t know. But he said our story has real appeal. How did he put it? That it was a real human interest story.”

  “I think I know what you’d like to do.”

  “I told him I wouldn’t say yes or no until I talked to you first. How do you feel about it?”

  He turned and leaned his back against the fence. I slipped my arm under the railing and slid it around his waist.

  “I guess I feel a couple ways about it,” he said finally, his eyes on Ditto, who had gone back to eating his hay. “I don’t want it to turn into some big thing. I also don’t know if I feel like dredging up the past again.” He turned his head toward me, so I could see his profile. “And what about you? You want it to be known that you were the girl that night? You don’t care if that comes out and is public knowledge?”

  I considered this. “Part of me wouldn’t mind just never bringing it up again,” I said. “It’s something that happened, and we’ve both moved on. But I guess I realized yesterday, after talking to Hunter, that it is a pretty amazing story. I’d never thought about it that way before, but it really is. And I do like the idea of someone from, say, I don’t know, Maine or Georgia or somewhere, getting to read about it and maybe finding it inspiring.”

  “So, you want to do it for other people?”

  “Not just for other people. But this is the first time that someone’s wanted to write an article about me.”

  He folded his arms across his chest and turned his head so he was looking back out to the middle of the corral. “Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about myself.”

  I knew he was talking about the articles that came out after the incident with Isaac. There had been a number of articles—though all mostly confined to the regional newspapers—that talked about Ollie, though none were that in-depth, and certainly not interested in portraying him in a flattering light.

  “This would be different, though,” I said. “This wouldn’t just be about what you did. Yes, that will be mentioned, but it’s not going to be the focal point. It might be . . . it might be kind of cathartic.”

  “Cathartic?”

  “Yeah. I mean, I’m not ashamed about what happened, and you shouldn’t be either. It was a shitty situation, but something good has come out of it. I think that’s the angle that he’s going for.”

  Ollie’s brow furrowed. “When you put it that way, it doesn’t sound that bad.”

  “Hunter thinks that people will be really interested in hearing about it. But I didn’t say yes or no yet—I wanted to talk with you first. And if you’re not okay with it, then we don’t have to do it. I’ll just call him back and tell him as much.”

  “Do you want to do it?”

  I could see, in my mind, the article, the pictures that would be included, the words that Hunter would write. I didn’t know exactly what words, of course, but I imagined them to be uplifting and inspiring. Maybe hearing our story would help someone else, would make other people realize that just because something shitty had happened to them, didn’t mean that the rest of their life was going to turn out that way, too. I’d certainly felt that way for a little while after the whole
thing, until I opened Ollie’s, and I was pretty sure that Ollie had felt something similar.

  “I do,” I said. “We really do have a good story to tell.”

  “Then let’s do it.”

  He smiled and leaned down and kissed me. It was a quick kiss, because there were guests milling about, but just the feel of his lips against mine sent a warm shock up my spine. I wanted to tear his clothes off right then and there, but I had to get going.

  “I’ll see you this afternoon,” he said. “You be good.”

  I gave him one more kiss before I left. “I’ll try.”

  I called Hunter on my way to Dr. Mike’s and told him that Ollie was on board.

  “Psyched to hear it!” he said. “It really is an incredible story. I’ll be in touch if I have questions or need more information, but, like I said, you were very thorough yesterday, so I don’t think I’ll need much more.”

  My head felt like it was spinning when I finally found myself on Dr. Mike’s couch, but in a good way.

  “It feels like all these good things are happening,” I said. “All at the same time. I guess I’m just not used to that. But even better than this whole thing with the magazine is . . . I’m in love!” I wasn’t facing Dr. Mike so I couldn’t see his reaction when I made this proclamation, but I bet he was raising his eyebrows and scribbling something on his notepad. “It’s an incredible feeling.”

  “New love usually is.”

  “Aren’t you happy for me?”

  “I am Wren, yes. But love can be hard, too, especially when the newness of it wears off.”

  “This is the first time I’ve ever been in love, actually.” And it was. Not that I hadn’t gone out with a few guys in the past that I might’ve been able to fall in love with, but I simply hadn’t allowed it to happen. But with Ollie, it was really like I didn’t have a choice, it was going to happen regardless of how I felt about it. I said this to Dr. Mike. “Does that make it true love?” I asked.

  “True love is what happens after the warm fuzzy feelings disappear, after the newness of someone has vanished.”

  “You make it sound so unromantic.”

  “People quite often mistake the exhilaration of a crush for true love.”

  “This is not just a crush.”

  “I’m not saying that it is. But like I said, love is hard. True love is when you can still love the person, despite all the hard stuff. Which often doesn’t appear right away. Or, if it does, people are more willing to overlook it. It’s only once you’ve gotten used to each other that the things you were once able to overlook suddenly seem unbearable.”

  I shook my head. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you were trying to discourage me from this.”

  “I’m not trying to discourage you, but I do think it would behoove you to take things slowly. Not just for you, but for him, too. You’ve got to remember that he was in prison for the past seven years. Regardless of how he might seem to you, he’s still adjusting to life on the outside. That alone takes time, never mind adding a new relationship to the mix.”

  I sighed. I would not let Dr. Mike deflate me like this. I’d never felt this way about anyone before, and I wanted to enjoy these feelings. “I do appreciate your honesty with me,” I said, “but I think, at least in this case, that you’re wrong. The other thing—I was thinking that I might stop coming in for now.”

  “Oh?” He stopped writing whatever he’d been writing on that legal pad. “What brought you to that decision?”

  “Things have just been very busy, and I feel like I’m at a good place in my life, where I probably don’t need to continue with this right now. Not that you haven’t been a huge help to me. Because you have.”

  “This decision seems to coincide with your new relationship.”

  “That might have something to do with it. I mean, the real reason I started coming to see you in the first place was because I was sleeping around. But I’m not doing that anymore. I can honestly say that I have zero desire to sleep with anyone besides Ollie.”

  Dr. Mike nodded. “Well, if you feel that you don’t want to continue our sessions anymore, you are free to make that decision.”

  “Thank you.” I had originally been thinking of asking him what he thought about it, whether or not we should stop, but now that I was here, I realized it didn’t matter to me what he said. He could say that he thought it was the worst idea in the world and that under no circumstances should we stop our sessions yet; I was confident now that I was making the right decision. I had not felt this good about my life maybe ever, and it seemed wrong to continue to see a therapist when things were going so well. “I really do appreciate everything that you’ve done for me,” I said. “You’ve helped a lot.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. And while I don’t necessarily think this is the best idea right now, I want you to know that you can always come back, should you ever decide that you need to.”

  “I will,” I said, though if things continued on this track, I had doubts that I’d ever need to come talk to him again.

  Later that afternoon, after the restaurant had closed for the day, I drove back over to the ranch. We went and lay in one of the hammocks together, a warm breeze coming through every so often, ruffling my hair.

  “I don’t know if I ever told you this,” I said, “but I used to see a therapist.”

  Ollie shook his head. “No, I didn’t know that.”

  “I’m not crazy or anything, but it helped to have someone to talk to.” I was about to leave it at that and not mention the real reason why I’d started seeing Dr. Mike, but then I decided to be honest. “I was seeing a lot of different guys and I wasn’t even really sure why. So, I thought that it might help if I had someone to talk to about it.”

  “Really?” He looked confused. “Does that help? Talking about it with a complete stranger?”

  “I know it sounds kind of strange. I was a little put off by the idea at first, too, but it really did help.”

  “Some of the guys in prison would talk to the counselors they had there. I never really did, because it felt weird to talk to a stranger about my feelings like that. Plus, I figured they probably already heard so much shit that my story was just one more thing they had to listen to.”

  “I don’t think it’s like that,” I said. “I mean, maybe with some people it is, but Dr. Mike was mostly very helpful. So much so that I’ve decided to stop seeing him, because I feel like I’m at a good point in my life. In large part, thanks to you.”

  “That’s sweet of you to say.”

  “The other thing that really helped was cooking. I started doing that after . . . after that whole thing with Isaac happened. I just found it to be very soothing, and a good way to have something else for my mind to focus on. Hence, why the restaurant exists in the first place.”

  “That’s good you found something like that. I feel the same when I’m out riding.”

  “Do you still want to learn to cook? I think I told you I’d teach you, if you wanted.”

  He smiled. “I’d like that. Though I have to warn you, I’m pretty much a disaster in the kitchen.”

  “Well, you can’t be any worse than I was at riding. Let’s plan on some afternoon, you come by the restaurant after we close. I’ll teach you how to make something.”

  18.

  Ollie

  As the ranch began to fill to its capacity with visitors, I started interacting with the guests more, if for no other reason than that Garrett needed me to. But I missed it, I realized, after that first group ride I led. It’d been fun, and I ignored the snide comment Ryan made when I was bringing two saddles back into the tack room. Ever since he’d found out that Wren and I were seeing each other, he’d been hostile, as though I’d deliberately taken something that had belonged to him.

  As I did the chores that morning—filling troughs, graining horses, mucking out stalls—I thought about talking to him about it. I didn’t want things to get out of hand, and I also didn�
��t want any trouble with him. He seemed like a reasonable enough guy.

  After the chores were done, I went out and worked with Ditto for a while. He let me go right up to him now, I could halter and lead him, and I figured in the next couple days I could try with the saddle. I wouldn’t get on him just yet, but he was making good progress, and I knew Garrett would be pleased.

  I was closing the latch on Ditto’s gate when I heard someone walk up behind me.

  “Um, excuse me?” It was one of the guests; I couldn’t remember her name but she’d just gotten here the other day with her family, from Half Moon Bay, California. “You work here, right?” She looked anxiously over her shoulder.

  “I do. Is everything all right?”

  “Well, there’s all this water going into the barn, I think someone’s left the hose on . . . .”

  I ran back to the barn and saw that the hose had been uncoiled and was lying there in the middle of the aisle, on full blast. Water was filling spilling over the concrete, into the stalls. I turned the spigot off and stared. What the hell? I went over and looked in the first stall, which had already been cleaned out. The water had been running long enough to turn the stall into a shavings swamp, and as I hurried down the aisle, looking into each stall I passed, I realized that this had happened to at least eight of the stalls.

  “Fuck!”

  I turned, hoping that none of the guests were in the barn, and luckily, they weren’t. This was going to be a huge pain in the ass to clean up. I went back down toward the entrance and checked out the tack room, frantically lifting tack boxes and anything else that shouldn’t get wet off the floor. There were no shavings in the tack room, but there was a heavy woven Mexican blanket on the ground, and I dragged the saturated thing outside and threw it down.

  “Spring cleaning?” It was Ryan, heading toward the barn with one of the horses from the corral. “It’s not spring, you know.”

  “Someone left the hose running!” I said.

  He looked at the sopping blanket. “I’ll say,” he said. “Shit. Is the whole place flooded?”