JOSS: A Standalone Romance (Gray Wolf Security)

by Glenna Sinclair

  “You just get in?”

  “We had to shut down production because of some issue with the cameras. I spent about an hour with the actors and then decided I’d earned an early night.”

  “Of course you have. You’re the boss, you know. You get to decide when everyone goes home.”

  “Yeah, well, from your lips to the producer’s ears. He wants this movie wrapped in two months.”

  “Isn’t that pretty quick?”

  “Yeah. A movie of this scope usually takes three months, sometimes more, to complete. But this producer wants it ready to release next spring, and there’s still the editing process, the music score, and half a million other things that go into a finished movie.”

  “What’s the hurry?”

  Nicolas curled up next to me and lay his head on my belly. “I think he expects I’ll be on trial about then, so he wants the movie to come out while that’s happening so he can capitalize on my name being in the tabloids.”

  “That’s morbid.”

  “No. That’s Hollywood.”

  He lifted my sleep tee, running his hand over the lower section of my belly. The babies responded, one of them doing some sort of roll just below where his head was. Nicolas laughed.

  “You think he’s trying to run away from me already?”

  “I think he’s turning over to say hi.”

  Nicolas sighed. “I like that idea.”

  I ran my hand over his shoulder, too aware of the tension that was living there. I wanted to do something to make it go away, to make him feel better. But I didn’t know what.

  He ran his hand over my lower belly again and whispered against my belly button like it was a direct link to the babies, “I can’t wait to meet you, my sweet children.”

  “You’re going to be such a good dad.”

  He pulled away as though I’d said he was a rotten father and should never be allowed to see his children. He climbed off the bed and headed for the door.

  “I should let you sleep,” he said over his shoulder.

  “I have a doctor’s appointment the day after tomorrow. Will you be able to make it?”

  He paused, his hand on the doorknob. “What time?”

  “Nine, I think.”

  He turned and looked at me, his eyes moving to my belly where it was still exposed. There was a line of bruises along my hip, places where I’d given myself my insulin shots. His eyes fell on those, and he studied them for a long minute, clouds rushing through his eyes like a storm coming in. Then, he turned and left the room without answering my question.

  ***

  “The baby’s look good,” Dr. Bishop said. “All the measurements are right where they’re supposed to be at this age. The internal organs look good. And the movement…well, I guess you know how well they’re moving.”

  “I do,” I said, smiling more from relief that everything was okay than with amusement at what he’d said. I knew that things were going well, but there was always that little voice at the back of my mind that kept listing all the complications that could come with a multiples pregnancy, especially when gestational diabetes was thrown in.

  “I’m sorry your husband couldn’t make it,” the nurse said.

  “He’s working on a new movie. He couldn’t get away from set.”

  Which wasn’t completely true. He’d left a note on my door that said he thought it might be better if I went to the doctor on my own because of the paparazzi. He didn’t want them getting wind of what was going on. Which was also why I couldn’t leave the house through the front door anymore and why Adam made me lie down on the backseat of the SUV whenever we drove out the back gate.

  That was all Nicolas needed right now, the press getting hold of the information that he had a pregnant woman living in his house. A pregnant woman who was carrying his and Aurora’s twins.

  “Did you want to know the sex?” Dr. Bishop asked. “A lot of my expectant mothers want the sex put into an envelope so they can have one of these gender reveal parties.”

  “Oh, I hadn’t thought about it.”

  Actually, it was all I’d thought about these last months. I was convinced, once upon a time, that it was a girl. But now that I knew I was carrying twins, I wasn’t as positive. Maybe two girls? Or a boy and a girl? It could have been any combination since the fertility doctor implanted four embryos, so the chances that they were identical twins was less than zero.

  I wanted to know. I just wasn’t sure Nicolas wanted to know. Or wanted me to know. And I’d been afraid to ask.

  “Let’s put it in an envelope,” Dr. Bishop said, patting my arm lightly. “That way, if you decide you want to know once you get home with your husband, you can look together.”

  “Thank you.”

  The doctor and nurse left a moment later, leaving me alone to re-dress. It was something of a struggle trying to put back on the dress I’d worn because it had to be zipped up the back. I hadn’t thought of that when I chose it because Constance was there to help me. But she wasn’t here now. I was alone except for Adam waiting outside in the car.

  I managed to get it on and slipped out of the exam room. The nurse seemed to be waiting for me. She handed me a plain white envelope and smiled. “Congratulations,” she said sweetly, too sweetly.

  “Thanks.”

  I started to move around her, but she stepped into my path.

  “I’ve been following all this stuff in the news about Nicolas. People can’t seem to decide if they think he killed his wife or not.”

  I glared at her as I again tried to move past her and she blocked me.

  “I’m sure the press would love to hear about the surrogate he’s got parading around town as his wife.”

  “I never said I was his wife.”

  “But you’ve never tried to persuade us otherwise.”

  “Does it really matter?”

  Another nurse walked past us, throwing a curious glance at me. However, she didn’t say anything or ask what was happening.

  “I think it would matter a lot to the press.”

  I stepped back and crossed my arms over my chest. “Are you trying to blackmail me?”

  “I wouldn’t call it blackmail.” She stepped closer to me again, leaning in so that only she and I could hear what she was saying. “I would call it college tuition for my two boys.”

  “Then you’re barking up the wrong tree because I don’t have any money. And Nicolas? He’d never give in to someone like you.”

  “Yeah, well, Nicolas Costa is about to go on trial for the murder of his wife. I think that will probably motivate him to do what I asked.”

  “Then ask him yourself.”

  I pushed past her and stormed out of the office, not even stopping to get my next appointment set up. Tears were running down my cheeks as I stepped out into the bright, November sunshine. I reached up to wipe them away just as Adam appeared, seemingly from nowhere, at my side.

  “What happened? Is everything okay?”

  I shook my head, an anger building in my chest that I didn’t know what to do with. I wanted to scream and yell, to rip my hands into something, anything, just to make the pressure and the pain of that anger go away. Not only that, but I wanted to see Nicolas, to have him hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. However, I knew he would never do that and that realization just made the anger and the hurt and the frustration and everything else that had been building since I met Aurora Parker build to a frenzy that I couldn’t control.

  So I did something I’d never done before in all my life.

  I slammed my fist hard enough into the side of the SUV to actually feel bones break.

  Adam was immediately behind me, his arms sliding around me in something of a bear hug, dragging me back away from the car. Then, he turned me around and pulled me against his chest. I fell apart. Sobs ripped from my throat, tears streaming down my face to soak the front of Adam’s always perfectly ironed dress shirt. His hold was tight, at first, but it loosened as I cr
ied. The tension in his body relaxed, too, as his hand began a gentle, soothing rub between my shoulders. I was barely aware of him for a long bit, but as the sobs began to lessen, I was grateful for his presence. If he hadn’t been there, I might have made a pretty impressive fool of myself.

  “We should go,” Adam said after a while.

  I nodded, but I didn’t immediately move. But then I heard voices and the sound of camera shutters going off. There were flashes, and I knew.

  The paparazzi had found us.

  Chapter 20

  “What the fuck were you thinking?”

  There was practically fire coming from Nicolas’ eyes as he confronted Adam. Even though Adam was a good two inches on Nicolas and at least fifty pounds heavier, he looked like a chastised child as Nicolas blew his fury all over him.

  “It was my fault,” I said from my position on the couch.

  Nicolas didn’t even look at me.

  “I asked you to take her to the doctor. I didn’t tell you to stand out in public and make a fucking spectacle of yourselves. Now her face is on every tabloid and gossip website from here to Timbuktu. Do you realize how fucking screwed up that is? How long do you think it’ll take them to figure out who she really is?”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know the paparazzi was in the area.”

  “You should have known. That’s your fucking job.”

  Nicolas waved Adam from the room and marched to the bar, pouring himself a stiff drink. However, he didn’t lifted it to his mouth. He just stood there and stared at it, like a dying man staring at the mirage that might or might not be his salvation.

  “It’s not his fault. I was upset and he was just trying to help.”

  Nicolas didn’t turn. I started to get up, feeling the need to go to him, to make him understand, but when I went to push myself up, I forgot about the heavy brace on my hand and pain shot up my arm, making me hiss.

  Nicolas turned then and rushed to me, kneeling in front of me as his eyes searched every inch of my being for the cause of my discomfort. I sat back and cradled my injured hand against my chest, tears again slipping from my eyes. I felt like such an idiot.

  “What was going through your mind, Ana? Why did you break your hand?”

  I shook my head. “I was upset.”

  “About what?”

  I wanted to tell him. I wanted to see him put that greedy nurse in her place. But those dark circles were back under his eyes and the tension in his shoulders told me that this was a man who shouldn’t have to take anymore. I didn’t want to be the cause of any more pain in his life.

  “It’s not Adam’s fault. He was just trying to calm me down.”

  Nicolas ran his hands over my thighs, pushing the material of my dress up until my legs were exposed just above the knee. Then, his hands moved over my belly and one the babies obediently kicked—and that, for some reason, made him stand and walk away.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to cause all of this.”

  “How did it go with the doctor? Are the babies okay?”

  “They did a sonogram. Said everything looks good.”

  “Yeah?” He leaned against the bar and looked at me. “They’re healthy?”

  “As far as they can tell.”

  “And you?” A hint of a smile danced in his eyes as he gestured to my hand. “Besides the three broken bones?”

  “I’m fine. Blood pressure was good. My blood sugars are good. They said everything is progressing just fine.”

  He nodded again, turning back to the drink sitting in the middle of the bar. He wrapped his hands around it and studied it, as though he was having some sort of internal battle with himself. I didn’t understand it, but there was a lot about Nicolas I didn’t understand.

  “They could tell what sex they are. They wrote it down in an envelope in case we wanted to find out together.”

  That got his attention. He came back to the couch and sat beside me, taking my good hand in his. “Did you peek?”

  “No.”

  “Do you want to know?”

  “I do. But we never talked about it, so I wasn’t sure you would want me to.”

  “It would make it easier to set up the nursery. I haven’t even gotten started, to be honest. Constance said something about it the other day, but I never answered her.”

  “Where is the nursery?”

  “Come on. I’ll show you.”

  He stood and held out his hand to me, pulling me upstairs. We walked past my bedroom and his to a door on the opposite of the hall. He pushed it open, and I was immediately struck by how dark it seemed. He flipped on a light, and there was literally nothing baby related in the room. It looked like they’d used it for storage for all the years they were in the house. There were boxes stacked on one side of the room and old furniture all piled together on the other side. Piles of clothes were on the floor and draped over some of the furniture. More boxes and an old wardrobe were against the back wall. It had to have been the most depressing room I’d ever seen.

  “You can’t put them in here.”

  “Why not?”

  I gestured around me as I stepped into the room. “There’s no natural light. It’s so dark—”

  “We were going to paint. I wanted a mural on that wall of elephants and tigers, and the crib was going to go over there.” He pointed to a spot not far from a set of incredibly heavy curtains. He walked over there and threw them open, exposing the room to the most amazing western light. It flooded the room and pointed out every single flaw. “I’m going to have all this stuff moved up to the attic.”

  “What colors were you thinking?”

  He shrugged. “Aurora had her heart set on pink and yellow. But I told her we should make sure it wasn’t going to be a boy before we chose those colors.”

  I bit my lip, an ache building in my chest. I tried to forget that Aurora was still the mother of these babies, even though she’d been in her grave for five months now. I tried to forget that she once shared this house with Nicolas, that she shared the master bedroom with him. I tried to forget that Aurora was ever a part of this picture, but with a casual comment, Nicolas brought it all back.

  I was walking in a dead woman’s shadow. And her shadow was wide and long, one that would forever leave me in darkness, no matter what I thought was going on with Nicolas, whatever I hoped might happen in the future.

  I turned away and pretended to study the walls. It was too easy to imagine Aurora in this room. I wasn’t sure if that was because of what Nicolas had said or because of the clothes and furniture that just seemed so much like her. It should have been her here planning for these babies.

  “We’re not working tomorrow,” Nicolas said, moving up behind me. “We have a series of night shoots coming up, so I’ve decided to give the cast and crew tomorrow to sleep in preparation. So maybe we should spend the day shopping for baby furniture.”

  I wanted to ask, “Are you sure? Are you sure you want me there?” But I was afraid to ask, afraid of what the answer might be.

  Nicolas lay his hands on my shoulders. “We should make a day of it, go to lunch and hit a dozen stores. It’ll be fun.”

  I could picture it. The two of us staring at cribs, debating over the color, the size. Trying to decide which cartoon characters to display with their bedding and mobiles. It was every pregnant woman’s dream, the nesting instinct finally taking control.

  But it wasn’t my fantasy. Not really.

  “Do you want to know?” I asked, pulling the envelope from a deep pocket in my skirt.

  “Is this it?”

  I nodded.

  He sighed heavily against my shoulder, his breath moving my hair around my face. “Is it silly that I’m a little afraid to look?”

  “No.”

  He reached for it, but hesitated before his fingers touched it. Then reached again and snatched it from my fingers. I heard him rip the envelope, heard him slide the paper from inside. And then he laughed, and I knew at least
one of the babies was a boy.

  Good for him.

  He turned me around, the biggest smile on his face. He pulled me close and kissed me almost roughly.

  “One of each,” he said with a little laugh. “A son and a daughter. How perfect is that?”

  He kissed me again, pushed me back against the wall, and kissed me with a passion I’d only known with him. My body responded immediately, my hands moving around his waist, searching instantly for that much desired space, that place to slip my fingers under his shirt. I wanted to touch his flesh, wanted to feel the warmth of his skin against mine. He was just as determined. My dress hit the floor in a manner of seconds, his mouth moving from mine to my swollen breasts, my nipples sending shivers of pain and pleasure through my body as he nibbled and kissed them. Then, he was moving lower, dropping to his knees in front of me as he tugged my panties from my wet cunt.

  Nicolas Costa on his knees. It was likely something few women had ever seen. I tried to enjoy the sight, but the things he was doing with his tongue made that next to impossible. I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes, the day sliding from my shoulders as my body grew light, pleasure taking away all the pain and frustration and hurt, replacing it with a singular focus on his breath, the moisture of his tongue, the incredible waves of pleasure that rushed through my clit and inspired the fluids running from my inner most places.

  This was so dangerous for me. I knew I would never know anything this perfect ever again. No man would ever have the power to make me feel the way Nicolas Costa did. When this was over, when the babies were here and Nicolas no longer needed me, my life would never be the same. This was the pinnacle of my existence. And that was both exciting beyond words and horribly, tragically sad.

  Chapter 21

  We didn’t go shopping. When the excitement passed, Nicolas remembered that he was trying to pretend he didn’t know me in front of the press. Never mind that my face and name were all over the tabloids just as he’d predicted. But, amazingly enough, they didn’t put two and two together to come up with the surrogacy deal as he’d been afraid they might. They decided I was Adam’s girlfriend, a fact that didn’t do much to keep peace at home because, apparently, Adam was married. In fact, he’d been married for fifteen years—he got married as he was going off to jail—and had two kids, toddlers that were more than a handful for their mother. Apparently.