Despair: Book Two of the Negative Ion Series

by Ryanne Anthony

  “What about us hanging out late in bed on Saturday mornings? And we get our shopping done Saturday afternoons. What happens to that?”

  I tried not to smirk while thinking that I could go without the tongue bath for a while. Now, if he offered me more one-on-one time with his cock…

  “Well, we can still do the shopping in the afternoon. You get off work, pick me up and I’ll drive us around while you relax next to me. We can go to bed early on nights we don’t go out and can always be lazy on Sunday mornings. While you’re working on Saturdays, I can do the weekly cleaning on my own, we can be lazy Saturday evenings and move laundry to Sundays.”

  I almost saw the wheels spinning in his head as he thought on what I’m suggesting.

  “How much is she charging you to carpool?”

  “Half of her weekly gas allowance: twenty bucks.”

  “That’s it? Twenty bucks a week?”

  “Yeah. Her car is paid off and she’s got the same perk with her car insurance that we have with Forrest’s. She’s going that way, anyway, and she’s two buildings up the street.”

  A slow grin spread across his face then he laughed. “I think this is a win-win, honey. We’ll try this out.”

  “Good.” I grinned. “Now eat before it gets cold.”

  “Honey?”

  “Yeah?” I asked, then took a big bite of my chicken thigh.

  “Remember when you said to wake you or stop whatever you’re doing when I get the steel?”

  I stopped chewing and turned. “Yeah,” I murmured after I swallowed fast.

  Ed grinned big. “Stop eating.”

  I looked down and saw the erection he sported in his briefs. I jumped up immediately and we stripped me so fast that I lost every button on my blouse and tore stitching on my dress slacks. Ed pulled me close and attacked my bra as we kissed with urgency. I pulled down his briefs while he yanked off my panties. I pushed him back to the couch, ready to keep my word to ride him hard and fast.

  “OUCH,” Ed shouted. “Fuck, I hit my head on the couch’s arm!”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I panted as I straddled him. “Need be, I’ll take you to an ER right after I cum.”

  I gripped his erection and wanted to cry from joy when I felt how hard he was. It had been forty-seven days since I had intercourse. FORTY-SEVEN! I was beyond ready and I swear I wanted to combust when I felt him enter me.

  I slowly slid down and gasped at how he stretched me. I sat there for a moment, just enjoying the way he filled me and panted along with me. My hands rested on his chest and I slowly moved up, then sheathed him again, moving up to the crown and back down again.

  “Honey…mmm…that’s good…” Ed moaned. “Again.”

  I did, only slower, groaning as I felt him leave my body and ease back in again. I took all of him in, then ground, feeling his hairs on mine and his skin stimulate my clit.

  “Oh, God…yes,” I moaned, closing my eyes as Ed’s hands roamed my rapidly heating skin. I bent and kissed him as I began to bounce on him.

  “No… don’t, honey,” Ed whined. “Slow down, it’s too much.”

  “Mm! I can’t! I can’t!” I shouted, edging the corner. I was about to cum hard and fast, when my eyes blinked opened and I looked down at Ed.

  “Honey…” Eddie groaned.

  “ARE YOU SHITTING ME, EDWARD JAMES MURPHY,” I shouted, shaking all over and not from a mind-blowing orgasm. My tears were falling and my blood felt like pelting icicles in my veins. This feeling had to be the equivalence to blue balls.

  I was there…so there…then he lost the erection. Fucker just went poof! Fucking David Copperfield couldn’t have done a better job at making it disappear. This was some real Houdini shit and always had been!

  “I’m so sorry, honey,” Ed whined, then covered his face. “I swear I was enjoying that and I don’t know why it went down.”

  “Did you cum?”

  “NO,” Ed shouted. “Not a drop, it just…left! I swear.”

  I quickly got off him and went to the far end of the couch and cried. I cried like a big ass baby and curled into a ball. He felt so good and I was damn near dying feeling him inside my body. I want to love him and be with him, but how can I with this looming over my head?

  He inched closer, and all I wanted to do was scratch his eyes out. I know what’s coming now; him licking me to orgasm and then me trying to do oral on him. No fucking way was he getting my mouth tonight, not after that shit he’d just put me through. I swear I had no idea why I used an IUD.

  “Honey, please don’t,” Ed soothed as he stroked my head. “I’m so sorry. You know I’ll take care of you. Please stop crying.”

  “I don’t want you to take care of me that way, Eddie!” I snapped. “I want regular… No, I want hot, steamy sex and I want it with the man I love! You’re only thirty! No way in hell should this be happening so early! My alcoholic father was still getting it up and fucking every neighbor in the vicinity until he got sick and he was in his late fifties when he died!”

  “I know and I truly am sorry,” Ed sighed against my head. “You don’t know how much. I want you so bad that way and I can’t understand why this keeps happening.”

  I couldn’t do anything but cry harder. I lost my appetite. I fell asleep, naked on the couch and unsatisfied, not wanting his tongue or fingers anywhere near me that night.

  Chapter Five

  New Prospects

  I ran into Captain Shauna Forrest and her daughter, Kimber, with their babies in the mall a few days after the latest deflating incident. We hadn’t tried sex again, mainly because Eddie didn’t get another erection.

  I finally broke down and talked to Alannah about Eddie’s problem, promising to keep it between us. Of course she gave me sympathy eyes and made me feel a million times worse, but she also suggested I find a fuck buddy. I couldn’t do that to Eddie. I’d hurt him badly if I did, so I took her second suggestion: get my guy some mechanical help. Eddie and I were in the mall that day to buy a vibrator we could use together.

  After we picked out something we thought could be beneficial to both of us, Eddie went to some store where they sold nothing but baseball caps. Yeah, not for me. I waited at a jewelry kiosk and found the cutest gold hoops for my ears. I bought them and immediately put them in. I was admiring them in a kiosk mirror when I heard a voice behind me.

  “Well, aren’t those pretty?”

  I turned to see the captain smiling at me while holding her son.

  “Hi, Shay,” I grinned and had to refrain from reaching out and taking his chubby little body right out of her arms. She must have read into my turmoil because she plopped him right into my arms. I instantly fell in love.

  “Hi, Samree,” I cooed. “God, you are way too adorable.”

  His answer was to grin and show me two adorable teeth at the top of his tiny mouth. I held him closer and inhaled. I grinned at Shauna.

  “Ooh, he smells so good.”

  “You should have held him fifteen minutes ago,” Kimber laughed.

  “And it’s contagious.” Shauna laughed. “Once he let go, so did Momo and J.J.”

  I laughed and cuddled Samree. “I refuse to believe either of them could smell worse than this. Someone ought to bottle this scent.”

  “Spoken like someone who has no children yet,” Shauna chuckled. “We’re on our way to the Food Court, Cassidy. Want to join us?”

  “Sure.” I smiled and nodded toward the store Eddie was in. “My boyfriend is in that cap store, where he’ll probably be for hours. I’ll run in and tell him where to meet me.”

  I reluctantly held out the cute little baby to Shauna, but she waved me off.

  “You’re so not ready to give him back and I don’t think he’s ready to give you up, either. Go on in and tell him. We’ll wait here.”

  I grinned as I nodded then went into the store. I spotted Eddie immediately and walked over to him while he studied the hats.

  “Ed?”

  “Yeah
, honey?”

  “I’m going to the Food Court. Want to meet me there when you’re done?”

  “Sure. I shouldn’t be long, though, if you want to wait.”

  I smirked as I watched him reach for a Chicago White Sox cap. He was going to be another half-hour, at least. Eddie had a thing for ball caps but he kept his hair neat and never missed a haircut. Go figure.

  “No, I’m gonna go now. I ran into some friends and they’re hungry.”

  “Okay, that’s fine. I’ll be down there soon.”

  “Great.” I smiled then tickled Samree. Ed whirled around when he heard the baby’s giggle behind him.

  “What the…” Eddie gasped. “Honey, did you just commit a felony?”

  I laughed. “No! This is Samuel Forrest III. My boss’ son. His mom is the old friend that told me about the job.”

  “Does she know you have her baby,” Ed whispered.

  “Yes!” I laughed, then pointed outside. “She’s just there. Wave at the pretty redhead.”

  Ed looked over and when his gaze stopped, he waved. I turned to see Shauna smile and wave back.

  “So, Food Court as soon as you’re done here?”

  “Yeah.” Ed smiled then kissed my temple. “The second I’m done.”

  I left him to his caps and rejoined Shauna and Kimber. We slowly walked to the Food Court and by the time we made it there, Samree had fallen asleep on my chest. I watched as Kimber lowered his part of the stroller then I gently laid him down. He didn’t even stir, not even when his mother put his little blue blanket over him.

  “Samree likes you,” Kimber smiled.

  “I like him, too.” I smiled back. “I now believe in love at first sight.”

  We laughed, then went for food and settled at a table near the exit. My boss showed a few minutes later, carrying a bag from a lingerie store and looking excited as he passed it to Shauna. She peeked inside the bag, and whispered something to him. They both laughed.

  I smiled when they finished. “Good afternoon, Mr. Forrest.”

  “Cassidy.” He nodded. “We’re off the clock so you can address me as ‘Sam.’”

  “Got it.” I confirmed. I was surprised at how relaxed I was with him. He did not act like a lawyer, at all. That day he was a regular guy, shopping with his family without a care other than them in the world.

  As we caught up, Kimber insisted I call her ‘Itsy,’ her nickname since childhood. She asked me about singing and I asked her about her adorable baby. I smiled as she glowed and talked about her son.

  “Cassidy,” Shauna called after Itsy took a breath. “Settle an argument for me.”

  “I’ll try, but only if you promise not to arrest me,” I laughed.

  “Can’t promise that,” Shauna laughed with the others. “So if you wanted to go college—”

  “Mom, not again,” Kimber groaned.

  “No, honey.” Shauna frowned. “I want an outsider’s opinion. Cassidy, if you wanted to go to college, wouldn’t you go and be happy? Despite obstacles? Obstacles your family are more than willing to help you with?”

  I shrugged. “Depends on the obstacles, I guess.”

  “You had a beautiful baby boy out of wedlock and had no idea if the father… was still, um… around.”

  I frowned at Shauna and then looked at Kimber, who lowered her head and sighed. Oh, God, that’s right! Shauna said to that Marvin guy the day I met her again in her office that her grandson may never know his father. Was he missing? He had to be. Damn.

  “Um, well, honestly… seeing as my baby needed me to be successful, yes, I’d take the help and go.”

  “What if you didn’t want to travel to the college you were accepted to, Cassidy?” Kimber scowled. “What if you thought all that traveling took too much time away from you and your baby?”

  “Guess it depends on how far the college was.” I sighed. “If it were farther than say an hour bus ride, I would move closer to the college, hire a sitter and kick ass at it. If I could bus it daily, then I’d do that, and I’d do most of my school work and/or studying in a corner of the bus, then love on my super-cute baby when I got home until he went to sleep for the night.”

  Shauna looked at Kimber with a smug expression. “See? Take the help and go back school, honey. I promise we’ll help out and not only financially.”

  “Fine.” Kimber sighed. “Stanford in the fall.”

  “YES!” Sam laughed loudly.

  “But that’s hours away!” Shauna frowned. “Don’t ‘yes’ to that, Sam!”

  “It’s a lot closer than Harvard was, Mom,” Kimber reasoned. “At least I’ll be in the same state. I’ll move close to campus and see if Hilda is still available and willing to go with me.”

  “Fine, but I’ll visit; often. I may be there more than home.”

  “No shit, Mom,” Kimber laughed.

  “Hey!” Sam shouted, sounding put out. “Better not be overnight visits. Kids during the day, husband at night.”

  Kimber rolled her eyes and looked at me. “And here I thought he was going to chastise me for the profanity.”

  I giggled and covered my mouth. Kimber laughed when I gave a little snort. I liked all these people.

  “Oh, come on,” Shauna snorted. “It’s a six-hour trip! I’d have to drive, say hi and turn right back around.”

  “Then we go together on the weekends, Kitten,” Sam nodded. “We’ll hire a car to drive us Friday evenings and invade our daughter and grandson often.”

  “I like that plan,” Shauna smiled.

  “I don’t,” Kimber huffed. “I may have a date or something. I can’t have my mommy and daddy underfoot.”

  “I think we should bring Parker and Samantha with us.”

  “I think you’re right, Kitten.”

  Kimber giggled and shook her head. “Meanies.”

  “Hi, everyone,” a man said behind me.

  Recognizing the voice, I smiled as I looked up. “Ed, this is Samuel, Shauna and Kimber Forrest. Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Eddie.”

  Samuel held out his hand first. “Eddie.”

  “Mr. Forrest, I’ve heard good things. My girl enjoys working at your firm.”

  “It’s been great having her working with us,” Sam smiled. “I’m Sam.”

  Shauna extended her hand, next. “Eddie, I’m Captain Forrest, Hampton Police.”

  Eddie grinned as he shook her hand. “Ma’am.”

  “Not intimidated.” Shauna nodded. “I like that. Please, call me Shauna.”

  “Nice to meet you, Shauna.”

  “You, too, Eddie. You have a last name or are you like Madonna?”

  Eddie’s mouth twitched. “It’s Murphy, ma’am.”

  Shauna, Sam and Kimber look up at him.

  “Eddie…Murphy?” Shauna giggled. Sam nudged her side and shook his head as he fought his laughter.

  Kimber smiled and offered her hand next. “Hi, I’m Kimber.”

  “Kimber, pleasure to meet you.”

  “Join us, Eddie.” Sam nodded to the empty seat next to me.

  “I better grab me something first.” Eddie laughed, patting his stomach. “The smells in here are insane and my stomach is about to scare everyone.”

  “I got you a stuffed slice, Eddie.” I smiled. “And a bottle of that iced tea you like.”

  Eddie grinned as he sat next to me. I passed him his food, drink and large cup of ice.

  “What do you do, Eddie?” Sam asked, then bit his burger.

  “I’m a day manager at Eco-plastic Works and a freelance web designer.”

  Sam swallowed fast, then wiped his mouth. “Are you really?”

  “I am. I started there a few months ago.”

  “No, I mean the web designing,” Sam corrected and pulled out an iPad. “Show me a site you’ve done.”

  Ed wiped his hands and then pulled up the site he designed for the band Grounded.

  “This is good work,” Sam murmured. “You only do sites for musicians?”

 
“No, I’m adaptable. I just finished the designs for Ford Investments and Hinton’s Exclusive. They’re an agency for models and actors.”

  “I know of them.” Sam nodded. “I’ve seen both their sites, and that’s good work, too. Eddie, what can you do for Forrest & Associates? Recently, we added a new division and they’ll need a page. Truthfully, the whole site needs revamping.”

  “Let’s pull it up and see what’s happening there.”

  The next hour, at least, Sam and Eddie discussed what could be done and how. The ladies and I got restless and left them to it at that table and walked around the mall and shopped. When we tired, we went back to that table and found they were still talking. They hadn’t moved an inch. Shauna told Sam it was time to get the babies home, and Sam made us promise to come to their home the next day so they could finish discussing the changes. I had nothing planned and agreed. I had a feeling we were going to spend all the extra time we had at Shauna and Sam’s while Sam and Eddie worked on the firm’s website.

  Fine with me. It’s not like we were going to use that time to have sex or something.

  Chapter Six

  Love in an Elevator

  I walked around cranky as hell for weeks after that. I had no real reason to be. I had a good job. I was in an excellent carpool. I was never late again. I had new, comfy sheets for my new, comfy bed and we had a great nest egg going. My fridge was full and me and Ed’s new routine worked out perfectly. We were making friends left and right and often stayed out past our self-imposed curfews on work nights, just socializing.

  Last night was one of those nights. We’d gone out with my co-workers and I dreaded going home. For what? Nothing waited me but his mouth. We were past the two-month with no intercourse mark and I was deathly tired of reluctant tongue. Eddie couldn’t get it up and he was not a fan of giving oral sex; he only did it because he couldn’t pleasure me with his cock. He didn’t mind receiving, but as soon as he was hard and I wanted him in my sex, he deflated. Every-damn-time.

  I thought about everything as Alannah and I rode in to work, silently for a change. She started a little chat as we waited for the elevator in the lobby.