Despair: Book Two of the Negative Ion Series

by Ryanne Anthony

  I gasped and shook my head. “Don’t, Walden.”

  “Security is out, no lawyers and all the assistants, aside from me, are female. You get enough tongue from Limp Eddie so you did not go the woman route. Girl, you know I ain’t gonna tell especially since I believe it was a client. So, who was it?”

  “No one,” I murmured. “Just an itch that needed scratching. All over with now.”

  “It better be.” Alannah frowned. “You’re in a relationship for one, and two, an employee with a client is strictly prohibited.”

  “I know, La. I remember that from the Welcome packet Mr. Forrest gave me. It won’t happen again. Can I get back to work now so I’ll be able to eat my lunch in peace?”

  “Sure thing.” Callie smirked. “But one question first: did you enjoy it?”

  I blushed and looked down. “I came three times and I feel empty without him inside me,” I whispered.

  I’m met with silence. I peeked up and they were all gaping at me.

  “Damn.”

  I turned to Callie. “What,” I squeaked.

  “You got fucked right, Barbariza,” Walden laughed then snapped his fingers. “And even if Eddie did find out, so what? He ain’t giving it to you and you have needs. Girl, get it where you can is my vote. Okaaaaaaaaay?”

  I turned at least seventy shades of red and not because Walden still insisted on calling me that silly nickname from our bet. I started on the contract from earlier while the others kept staring at me. When Lala called us over for lunch, they kept at me, wanting to know who it was. I kept my mouth shut and tried to eat, but the thoughts of Greg and me in that elevator invaded me and several times I shuddered, once in the middle of my own sentence. No way was I going to keep this to myself.

  Eddie Murphy was going to kill me.

  Chapter Seven

  You Again

  It was two weeks since my encounter with ‘Greg’ and I’d been cranky as hell…again…and driving everyone insane…again! It didn’t help that I’d gotten my cycle two days before, to Eddie’s relief. His? Right…mine was overwhelming.

  We used a condom, sure, but shit can happen despite the condom and me having an IUD. I never planned to tell Eddie what I’d done and there was no way I could explain to him having a baby of African-American descent, since Eddie and I are both Caucasian.

  Eddie’s relief is evident every time my cycle comes. It takes the pressure off him to have sex for at least a week because I hate being touched in any intimate way when I’m on. Usually we play cards or watch movies.

  I wrapped up typing another contract when I got a memo on the intranet. McCoy v. Mitchell was going to wrap up at nine sharp, the next morning. I couldn’t wait for the outcome. I was on the edge of my seat, rooting for the father. No way was I going to miss that or be late. During one of our weekend outings, I made sure I got that alarm clock and was never late again, and caught every ride with Lala on time. No more leaning on my buzzer then taking off without me for her. Now I’m outside waiting for her to pull up, which makes her grin big.

  * * *

  The following morning, I put my head phones on and waited, my fingers once again poised and ready.

  “Miss Wren, please begin.”

  “Ready, Mr. Gonzalez,” I murmured back. “September 28th, 9:04 a.m.”

  “I’m Enrique Gonzalez, adjudicator. Please state all names and interests for the record.”

  “Vonda McCoy, petitioner.”

  “Greta Bostick, counsel for Ms. McCoy.”

  “Allan G. Mitchell, respondent.”

  “Isaiah Altman, counsel for the respondent.”

  “Thank you. Today, I will not hear any testimony or ask any questions. I have made a decision and it is still your right to seek trial inside a courtroom, but please understand that my decision here today will be introduced into any potential trial. It will be entered into the record, and will be strongly considered in a judge’s decision. Are all parties in understanding? Ms. Bostick?”

  “We are, Mr. Gonzalez.”

  “As are the respondent and myself.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Altman. Very well. I, Enrique Gonzalez, do not see the petitioner’s course of action to be the correct one. I also do not feel stripping Mr. Mitchell’s paternal rights to minor, Karima Mitchell, the right path. Therefore, it is my decision Karima Janiece Mitchell remain in the primary custody of her mother, Vonda Sharron McCoy and Mr. Mitchell be restored ample visitation to the child. Ms. McCoy, it is my opinion that you are indeed jeopardizing the relationship between your daughter and her father and I strongly advise you to put an end to it. You made this relationship possible by your actions, and I believe you are using the child to seek revenge against Mr. Mitchell. You are cautioned that attempting to keep them apart could irrevocably harm Karima, and I am sure you don’t want that to happen.

  “It is my opinion that Mr. Mitchell immediately receives a set visitation schedule and urge Ms. McCoy to adhere to it, even after her marriage. I find the financial obligations Mr. Mitchell entered is more than adequate and I advise it stays the same. Are there any questions at this time?”

  “No, Mr. Gonzalez.”

  “None.”

  “Very well, I will sign my decision and you will each receive a copy for your records. Case closed.”

  I grinned big when I heard the gavel bang, feeling very good for Mr. Mitchell. He should have been given visitation with his daughter. God, how can anyone poke holes in a condom to get pregnant?

  I spent the rest of the morning polishing the note and making copies of the record. Just before lunch, I sought out Mr. Gonzalez and was told he was in another conference room on the ground floor.

  As I waited outside the room, needing him to sign his decision and have it stamped, I heard a woman squeal my name. I turned and saw Kimber Forrest barreling toward me. She had the biggest grin on her face and those eyes reached me before she did. I saw from pictures that she is naturally auburn, like her mother, but this color, this natural-looking black, made her movie-star beautiful and I was insanely jealous. I was sure that color would not look good on me at all.

  “Guess what?” Kimber grinned after she hugged me. “Your dress is ready. It looks gorgeous. All you have to do is pick it up.”

  “Itsy,” I whined. “I so didn’t need a custom dress. I’m only a guest.”

  “So,” Kimber whined back. “Every woman deserves to look her best, regardless of whose wedding it is. Samantha loved it, too. You should see her dress. And mine.”

  I noted the way her eyes looked down and off to the right. She’s leaving something out.

  “Itsy, what did you do?”

  “What?” Itsy asked, laughing nervously. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Cass.”

  I shook my head at the woman, who was rapidly becoming one of my BFFs, and frowned.

  “Spill, Itsy.”

  “Well… I, um…sort of… Well, Samantha heard you singing to J.J. and she wants you to do her and Parker’s first dance song. I already told her you would.”

  “Damn it, Itsy! The wedding is next weekend and I have no idea what she wants! That’s not long enough to practice either! Oh, God… what if I don’t know the song? Or catch cold? Or get strep? Christ, I can so mess up her wedding!”

  “Will you relax, Debby Downer?” Kimber giggled. “You will not mess up her wedding. I’m told it’s a pretty simple song to sing. Don’t ask me since I sound like cats fighting over tuna in a thunderstorm when I open my mouth. Damn, I hope J.J. sounds like his father when he…”

  I looked at my friend and sighed. Still she refused to talk about him. Shauna wouldn’t tell me much about him either, just that he was on the verge of stardom and chucked it all away and is now missing. I naturally assumed he was depressed, like he was manic or something and needed a break from everyone and everything. I stopped thinking about it, dismissing all my assumptions. I didn’t know him or anything about mental illness. I was so unqualified to pronounce judgment on eith
er instance.

  “What’s the song?” I sighed.

  “On the Wings of Love.”

  “Jeffrey Osborne,” I whined again. I knew the song, but damn, I could never do it justice. I’d need to download it to my Beats list and practice every spare minute I had. I pulled out my cell and searched it, mumbling how bad I was going to be.

  “You’ll be fine. It’s one song and the boys are going to back you.”

  “She wants it with a live band? Wait.” I frowned as I looked at Itsy. “What boys?”

  “Negative Ion.”

  “Hold it,” I panted, wide-eyed and very nervous. “Samantha knows Negative Ion? Oh, God… why can’t they sing the song? What’s the name of the guy that sings Me? Why can’t he do it? I’m gonna look like an ass trying that on! And with them in the background. Oh, no. No, no. I cannot do this.”

  “You can and you will, Cass,” Kimber sighed. “They lost the Me singer; he’s unavailable. The others will make themselves available for you starting tonight, which is why I’m here. Meet me at the house and you guys can practice there. Can you get Eddie to drop you off? Wait, I think he’s meeting with Daddy tonight.”

  He was, so I figured he could bring me with him, but singing with a live band? In front of hundreds of people? Damn… I couldn’t. I’m not built for it, mentally or vocally. Shit. What do I do?

  I sighed when I couldn’t think of an excuse to back out. All I could come up with was to find someone with mono and kiss the hell out of them.

  “Yeah, we’ll make it there around seven.”

  “Good.” Itsy grinned. “See you at seven. Dinner will be on me.”

  I watched as she practically skipped out of the hall toward the exit. I shook my head, pondering on how much I was going to miss her when she started school in the New Year but at that moment, all I wanted to do was strangle my friend.

  I was so going to bomb this, I thought as Mr. Gonzalez beckoned me into the conference room after his party left. I silently watched as he read over the five copies then signed and stamped each one.

  “Take these to legal then this is done. Please do not forget to include proper addresses for the courier.”

  “Already have them, sir,” I smiled, and left the conference room and took the decisions straight to legal while thinking about how perfect I wanted my first lead singing job to be.

  * * *

  When Eddie and I made it to the Forrests’ home, Sam, Shauna, Parker, Samantha and Itsy were waiting for us. I hugged everyone hello, and accepted thank-yous for agreeing to do this for them. Like I had a choice, I thought as I glared at a grinning Itsy.

  Eddie and Sam left us to go into Sam’s office. Shauna, Parker and Samantha followed Itsy and me to the garage. I was already nervous and became even more so when I heard the band already playing a song. I frowned… was that… shit, it was! Someone was singing Aerosmith’s Love in an Elevator. I wanted to die! Thank God I never told anyone there of that dalliance. That could have been beyond embarrassing.

  We entered the garage and there were four men there with their backs to us, playing hard and not paying attention to us at all. One guy was singing loud and strong as he held the mic, tilting it on its stand as he poured himself into the song, while the others, just as into it, played their instruments and sang backup. We watched in awe. The guy doing the guitar solo made me cringe, he sounded so good.

  They sounded beyond amazing, especially when they sang that last line, damn near as well as Aerosmith did.

  We all applauded; they turned and laughed louder as they bowed. When they stood again, I got a good look at all of them, especially the singer… he made me gasp, long and loudly. I choked, coughing hard. Several people patted my back as my eyes locked on the singer: Greg. From the fucking elevator.

  Yeah… no shit, right?

  He looked at me with the biggest, most salacious grin on his face as he murmured something I couldn’t make out. The others muttered ‘damn’ except one who just laughed and shook his head.

  “Cass? Are you all right now?” Shauna asked me, looking very concerned.

  “I’m fine.” I smile nervously. “I… um… yeah.”

  “Did you hurt your throat, Cass?” Samantha asked. “Will you be able to practice?”

  “Sure.” I nodded, turning to her and trying like hell not to look back at my Greg.

  I mean at Greg! At Greg! Trying like hell not to look back at Greg.

  Shit.

  “I just need something to coat my throat and lubricate,” I said softly, turning all kinds of red again as I remembered my and Greg’s elevator conversation.

  They offered me several things but I had licorice tea bags in my purse, so I asked for warmed water. Shauna left to get it, then Kimber introduced me to the band.

  “Boys, this is Cassidy Wren. Cass, this is Mike on the guitar, Ren is on bass, the usual lead singer, Stone, is on drums and the singer of that song, Gore. He’ll be on the keys. Boys, play nice. Cass has a boyfriend. Cass, I think you’re only safe with Ren. We just found out he got married to a producer at his label. These other clowns are notorious flirts. Especially Stone,” Kimber laughed. “You really watch yourself around him.”

  “That is so not true, Itsy,” Stone screeched. “I wasn’t gonna start in on her for at least another eight minutes! I do have some control!”

  He barked, almost sounding like a real dog, then howled. I laughed with the others, then shook everyone’s hand and murmured a ‘nice to meet you’ to them all. When I got to Greg, his hand lingered longer than the others. I looked at him, he grinned so big and lasciviously that I wet my panties and wanted to disappear with him, not caring one iota that Eddie was just a floor away.

  Shauna came back with the warmed water. I sipped tea as I read the lyrics and committed them to memory. It was hard to do because I kept thinking back to the elevator; being in there with Greg, or Gore, and couldn’t concentrate. I finally tuned him out and started exercising my vocals as the band played the music. Again, they were well beyond good.

  I finished the tea and the exercises then went over to the mic. I smiled and thanked Ren for adjusting it to my height. I softly sang into it, testing my voice. I sounded decent, nowhere near good enough, so I tried again. Improved, but I could do better. I finally nodded to the guys and waited for my cue, closing my eyes as I saw the lyrics in my head.

  I sang the first line and flubbed. I was aware of Greg… Gore… behind me and he had a direct view of my ass. I stepped back, putting my head down. I wanted to do this for Samantha and Parker and I only had nine days to perfect it. I needed the hours of practice and a base point. I needed to show them what I was offering, listen to their critiques and adjust as such. I wanted to be perfect for the people who have been nothing but nice to and accepting of me since the moment I met them.

  I turned to the band. “Guys, may I sing a capella first? I need to… feel the song.”

  “Oh, yeah, she’s going to kill,” Stone laughed. “She sounds just like… Well, I’m cool with just watching first. I love to watch… then enthusiastically join in later.”

  “Cool it, Stone,” Greg snapped.

  “Go ahead, Cass,” Mike smiled. “We’re ready whenever you are. Take your time.”

  I turned back to the mic then sighed. Closing my eyes again, I began to sing. When I finished the first verse, I grinned. I now felt I was ready.

  “Okay,” I murmured, nodding. “I think I have it.”

  I waited for the music. I heard nothing, not even breathing. I looked up and frowned when every eye was on me, jaws dropped and looking at me as if I’d just discovered air.

  “Did I sing it wrong?” I frowned. “Did you want it another way?”

  “No,” they all shouted back.

  “Fuck, Cass,” Parker murmured. “You don’t even need these guys. Sing it a capella if you want.”

  I smiled and shook my head. “No, I think the accompaniment is very much needed. It would sound so much better and you guys nee
d the music to move to. You can’t dance to just my voice!”

  “I doubt that,” Shauna laughed. “But since we’re all here, let’s hear it with the music.”

  The band played and I waited for the cue. As soon as I heard it, I sang, just as strongly and firmly as before. I heard a part that called for other vocals and the hairs stood up on my neck when Greg sang behind me, with me.

  When we finished, they all looked stunned again.

  “Don’t change anything,” Samantha breathed. “I loved it. All of it. Gore, you do her backup, too. You two sounded great together. Keep it all as is. My first dance is gonna be so awesome!”

  “Our first dance, babe,” Parker chuckled shaking his head. “Our.”

  “That’s what I said.” Samantha frowned.

  “So not,” Kimber giggled.

  We all laughed. I noticed Sam and Eddie were in the room, too. Eddie walked over and hugged me… and I didn’t want him anywhere near me. I sighed as I fought the urge to get him off me. Not in front of Greg… Gore… Not in front of my one-time fling.

  “Sometimes I forget how good you sound when you sing, honey.”

  I smiled and hugged him back, aware of Gore near me… watching me. I got my senses back. He didn’t care about me. I was a lay. Just a body for him to use and use it he did. He’d gotten what he’d wanted and left without so much as a look back. He exited that elevator and left me there like he’d paid me for my services.

  I am so stupid.

  Eddie released me, and held me close by the waist. I looked around at everyone, and finally, my gaze landed on Gore. He gave me an impassive expression, and I felt with that look, I had the ultimate proof: he really didn’t give a shit.

  I guess I cared more than he did about that dalliance. Or was it I enjoyed myself a little too much? Yeah, that had to be it. How can you care about someone you just let fuck you in a darkened elevator? Damn, I screamed in my head, get a fucking grip.

  We sang the song twice more and it was cemented by Samantha. It was staying as is.

  “I think that’s enough rehearsal for the night then,” Shauna announced. “Let’s eat. Sam ordered from that new Chinese restaurant everyone is raving about.”