Despair: Book Two of the Negative Ion Series

by Ryanne Anthony

  I grinned as Greg and I ignored her insinuation.

  She gave me a stack of pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon and milk. In double portions. I frowned as I looked at her.

  “Uh, Mom?” I called, pointing to my food.

  “Yes, doll baby,” she answered, loading the dishwasher.

  “Why do I have twice as much food as the big man over here?”

  “Because my grandchild needs the nourishment. You need to eat more.”

  “See?” Greg chuckled, looking around, “Mom, where are my pancakes?”

  “You’ll get some when you give me a grandchild.”

  “Mom,” Greg whined. “I’ve given you four and a fifth one is on the way.”

  “No, you got that girl and your wife pregnant. They gave me the grandbabies.”

  “But I love your pancakes, Mommy.” My husband sighed, then pouted at his mother. I rolled my eyes. He actually pouted. Pouted!

  “Ooh, I never could turn this face down,” she said and pinched his cheek. She gave him my pancakes and winked as she poured more batter on the griddle.

  My sisters-in-law arrived as Justine gave me the fresh pancakes and she smirked as her daughters sat and watched us eat, while wondering aloud how long before their food was in front of them. Justine passed them their plates. Tamia suddenly screamed and bounced as she clapped excitedly.

  “What, girl?” Livia frowned, pinching her ears.

  “Damn, sis.” Jen scowled. “What the hell is wrong?”

  Tamia laughed and pointed to my food. “Look at her plate!”

  The screams and congratulations after that were deafening.

  “Greg, I swear you better give her a break after this one,” Livia demanded as she hugged him.

  “I’m getting an IUD before I let him touch me after I give birth, sis.”

  “Promise?”

  I smirked. “Well, soon after.”

  We laughed as their husbands came in and listened as Tamia screeched out that I was pregnant again. I don’t think anyone but me and Greg noticed Justine piled more food on Jenna’s plate.

  * * *

  Five and a half months later…

  Jenna had a beautiful baby girl a week ago and I felt like I was ready to burst. Not due to my pregnancy but because my mother-in-law had been chasing after me most of the day, begging me to eat more. I’d been eating nonstop since she met up with us at Macy’s wedding. Every time she came near me, she said I ‘looked’ hungry and I indulged her. I ate everything she put in my hands, including a cup of vanilla ice cream with a frozen Snickers in it. That, I have to admit, I thoroughly enjoyed.

  After dinner was served and I ate every morsel she piled on my plate, I asked Greg to tell her I felt full. He begged and pleaded with her to stop with the food but she wouldn’t listen to him, either. Sighing, I took the apple she offered and had a small bite. That pleased her, and as soon as she turned her back to dance with her husband, I threw the thing away.

  “I saw that,” Itsy laughed.

  God, she looked gorgeous. And so slim next to my eight-month pregnant ass.

  “I don’t care,” I puffed. “Justine is determined to get me to two hundred pounds this go around.”

  “She’s doing that again, huh?”

  I smirked. “Every time. Don’t you remember how she chased me last month at Greg’s birthday party? Thank God this is it for us. I think five kids are enough, don’t you?”

  Itsy laughed. “You said ‘this is it’ after G, Tommy and Rocki. Now look at you.”

  “You’re no help, you know,” I said as I giggled and playfully smacked her arm.

  I sighed when I saw my stepdaughter playing with the smaller children. I couldn’t believe she was twelve. Twelve. And a beautiful girl. She was secretly ‘dating’ Skull’s youngest son. He was thirteen, and learning his father’s business. He was polite and treated her well, very respectful for a beginning teenager.

  I decided after the wedding, when I was home and relaxing in bed with my husband, I’d finally tell him his daughter had a boyfriend. I believed once he knew it was Skull’s son, he’d react better. Thank God I had an ally in Itsy with this. She liked Marius, too.

  * * *

  After I attempted to dance with my husband, we walked -rather he walked, I wobbled- to our table, and I smiled as he helped me sit. Relieved I was sitting again, I kicked off my shoes under the table and flexed my swollen feet. Greg turned to me, then soothingly rubbed my back. I had to fight a moan at how good his hands felt on one of the aching parts of my body.

  After the toasts, Itsy and Sammi were called by Sammi’s mom, Sara, to help with the cake. Once it was served, I turned and was about to ask my husband for water when I saw a man approach the smaller children as they ran and played. His attention was solely on J.J.

  I frowned as I watched them, hoping I wasn’t seeing someone attempting to take my best friend’s son. Pregnant or not, I would tackle his ass.

  The man squatted in front of J.J. and spoke to him after he stared at him for a good five minutes. I gripped Greg’s arm, and he looked at me.

  “What’s wrong, love,” he asked, his voice dripping with concern.

  “Cassidy?”

  I ignored Mike’s call and gasped when I saw J.J. suddenly turn and run.

  “Oh no! Who is that,” I shouted, pointing.

  “Who?”

  I think that was Ren.

  “Parker,” I shouted when J.J. started yelling for Itsy.

  He came out of nowhere, stopping at my side. I pointed and told him something was wrong with J.J., who was still screaming and crying for his mother. She kneeled to catch him. The men stood as Parker rushed over.

  “A man asked me my name and who my mommy is,” J.J. said nervously. “That’s a stranger! I don’t know him!”

  “What man, J.J.?” Parker snarled as he lifted J.J. He held out his hand to help Itsy stand again, then looked around. “Where is he? Show your Uncle P.”

  “Him,” I murmured as J.J. pointed. John moved to their side and squinted, becoming pale and shook as he turned to his wife.

  “That’s him! That’s him! He’s a stranger, like Granpa taught me! I don’t know him!”

  I frowned. This bearded, pony-tailed man looked around the crowd then locked his gaze on Sara. I heard a loud gasp escape Itsy.

  Who the hell was this guy?

  “What the fuck?” Mike shouted. “I don’t fucking believe this!”

  Sara shrieked, high and loud, then fainted. That man ran forward and came close to Sara, but the boys stopped him, tackling him to the ground, just mere feet away from Sara.

  “No! Let him go!” Mike roared, running over and attempting to break up the chaos.

  I got a good look at the guy and knew… I’d never met him, but I knew who he was now. He looked just like a hairy, older version of J.J.

  Mike moved Ren from the man, then pointed as he loudly shouted, “That’s Red!”

  “Red?” Most of them asked in a loud gasp.

  “It’s Jaxen.” Samantha wept, frozen and glaring.

  Oh, shit. This ought to be interesting…

  * * * * *

  About the Author…

  Ryanne is a lifelong storyteller and avid reader. She enjoys sharing her stories and creating new worlds and putting them on paper.

  Ms. Anthony is a Midwestern girl, born and raised, and is a loving wife and mother of a boy and a girl, one each of the human and furry species.

  Please visit www.AuthorRyanneAnthony.com for more information, playlists and excerpts and to ask Ryanne a question about her and her writing.

  “Hi, Readers! I truly hope you enjoyed Despair, Book Two of the Negative Ion Series. Please consider leaving a rating and/or review. I’d greatly appreciate your input. Keep scrolling for an excerpt to Fell: Book Finale of the Negative Ion Series. It’s Jaxen’s POV of his life before, during and after Kimber. Thanks! Liked the interaction of the Cannon men in Despair? Find their stories in The M Series!”
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  Other works by Ryanne Anthony:

  Honey Babe

  BROKEN (The M Series, Book One)

  The M Series, Book Three: MARCUS

  The M Series, Book Four: MADISON

  The M Series, Book Five: MATTHEW

  The M Series, Book Six: MONICA

  The M Series, Book Seven: MAJOR

  The M Series, Book Eight: MENDED

  Effection:

  An M/Negative Ion Series Companion Novel

  FALLING: Book One of the Negative Ion Series

  DESPAIR Book Two of the Negative Ion Series

  FELL: Book Three of the Negative Ion Series

  More soon!

  Please enjoy this excerpt from: Fell, Finale of the Negative Ion Series:

  Prologue

  Falling

  Words by Kimber

  “Just spit it out, Itsy,” Jaxen sighed, exasperated. “Nothing will change, no matter what you say.”

  “I think it will,” I tearfully whispered. “I know it will. Everything will, and I want you to know that I am not expecting anything from you. Roland insisted you needed to know.”

  “Okay, tell me.”

  “Okay.” A tear fell and I wiped it away. “Jaxen?”

  “Yes, Itsy?”

  “I’m…uh…”

  “What, Itsy? What are you?”

  I inhaled, and on the exhale, I murmured, “Pregnant.”

  I heard a gasp and then silence.

  “By me?” Jaxen finally asked.

  I wanted to call him an asshole. Who else? Dammit. I guessed he could assume this recently happened by another man, but why would I call him with the news? He didn’t want me and made that quite clear. What I did in my life with my body wasn’t his concern anymore.

  But…it is his child and I committed to do this. I had to finish this conversation.

  “Of course, Jaxen. I haven’t slept with anyone else. You know you were my first. My due date in January 14th.”

  More silence then I heard a beep in my ear and looked at the phone. The timer flashed, and I inhaled. Jaxen had hung up on me. I called him back; it went to voice mail. Guess he’d made his choice.

  Crying, I shut off Roland’s phone and went back to my living room. Roland immediately came over and hugged me.

  “What happened, Itsy? What did he say?”

  “Nothing.” I sniffed. “He just…he hung up.”

  Roland tensed, but he held me and rocked me gently. I calmed in his embrace and tightened my arms around him, grateful he was here, but wanting to strangle him for convincing me to call Jaxen. I guessed he was right, after all. Jaxen did need to know. And now he did and didn’t want any part of my son’s life. Fine.

  Roland was still here, holding me. Comforting me. I needed this and I needed support. He’d give it to me. I could possibly get those feelings back that I’d had for him before. Maybe they’d grow. Maybe Roland was the man I was supposed to be with. Maybe.

  I sniffed. “Roland?”

  “Yes?”

  “Would you do something for me? It’s a really, really huge favor.”

  “Of course. You know I would do anything to help. You just have to name it, Itsy, and it’s done.”

  I hoped so.

  “Roland…will you—”

  He tilted his head. “Will I what, Itsy?”

  I took a deep breath, then looked at him…and said quickly, “Will you marry me?”

  * * *

  Four days after I’d proposed to Roland Sampson, he and I returned to my apartment building. I left my cell and made him promise to leave his as soon as he realized I was serious.

  He didn’t want to say yes at first. He thought he was the rebound guy, and didn’t like it one bit. Maybe he really was…okay, he was, and I didn’t think I convinced him otherwise, but he was right—a boy needed a father, but the father of mine didn’t want the job. So I’d found the next best thing, and told him that. I also told Roland I’d be faithful if he said yes, no matter what. I’d take the vows seriously. Always would.

  It took a while, but I convinced him this was the best thing for me. For us, meaning my son and me, and eventually him, when he saw that he’d have nothing to worry about when it came to me with his heart. He thought on it for a good hour, then finally consented. I promised him that if he ever wanted out, I’d give it to him, in case he found someone he could truly love. Looking right into my eyes, he promised me the same thing.

  “As long as you’re my wife, I’ll protect you and the baby. Even after you find the one, if it turns out to not be me, your son will always have me. We’ll be husband and wife on paper, Itsy, but between us, we’ll be married friends. Uh, one question—are there going to be…benefits?”

  “Of course.” I felt myself blush. “I meant what I said. I won’t disrespect the vows, Roland. I don’t want you to, either. If we need, um…we come to each other. We shouldn’t have to go far since we’ll share a bed.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Positive,” I breathed, trying not to panic while thinking of a man touching me who wasn’t Jaxen. That would need some build-up. Jaxen still owned my heart and soul, whether he wanted to or not, and I needed to get my mind wrapped around calling another man my husband; of not being able to refer to Jaxen as that.

  Oh, hell.

  I’d be married to Roland until we didn’t want to be anymore, and he would be ‘responsible’ for my son. Now, all that was left was to do the deed and try not think about how my parents were going to kill me.

  We left my apartment, sans phones, after the baby shower, checked into a hotel and went to buy a disposable cell and our license. The next day, we were married in a local church’s office, by a disapproving minister who couldn’t keep his gaze off my belly, in front of no one but the two witnesses the minister provided. First, with a flourish, the minister signed the license, then the rest of us.

  I’d done it. For the rest of my life, I’d be Mrs. Roland Marshall Sampson…um, yay. I couldn’t tell you what a “thrill” it was to marry a man I didn’t love, then have to forego sex on my wedding night. I had to work myself up to letting another man…a man who wasn’t Jaxen…touch me intimately. Even if he was, for all intents and purposes…my husband. Roland understood and didn’t pressure me. He’d said he’d assumed, pregnant as I was, any intimate relations wouldn’t happen until after I gave birth, anyway.

  Just for the hell of it, we spent another night in the hotel room. The afternoon we checked out, Roland and I had lunch then we shared a single piece of chocolate cake. After the meal, we went back to my… our apartment. When we got there, we ran right into Jaxen. I’d never been more shocked in my life, both by the confrontation and by the events after…