Kate, Finally

by Yeyet Soriano

  Kate is silent. She just realizes she cannot tell even Jane what she is going through. Jane knows both Layne and Rob. Kate just needs to let it out, and for the moment, letting it out means just having a good time with Jane and Ariel and getting drunk without thinking of tomorrow.

  They dance, they drink, they have fun.

  For a short moment, Kate feels numb.

  At the Salcedo Residence

  “Robbie, you look terrible!”

  “Thanks, Ma. You just made me feel even more terrible!”

  Rob’s mom hugs her only child tight.

  “Tell me what’s wrong,” she says gently, as she leads her son into the living room.

  “I don’t know what to do, Ma. I mean... I thought I was doing the right thing by finally coming clean to Kate about what I feel and asking her to marry me, like I promised her,” Rob starts.

  They sit, face to face on a white plush sofa.

  “Why are you questioning that decision now? Is Kate having second thoughts?” Tessa asks, holding Rob’s hands.

  “No, but she has reasons to have second thoughts,” Rob admits.

  “What do you mean?” Tessa probes.

  “I don’t really want to get into specifics, but I feel that Kate will honor her acceptance of my proposal. Nonetheless, I feel if she had a choice, she would probably rethink it.”

  “She always has a choice, Rob,” Tessa says gently.

  “Actually, Mom, as you well know, Kate and I have a complicated history. And I know for a fact that with me, she actually doesn’t have a choice. I’m not proud of that, but I know Kate. She will always decide in my favor regardless of what she really feels and thinks.”

  “Oh, Rob. So now you’re doubtful whether she accepted your proposal because she couldn’t say no to you or whether she really is ready to spend the rest of her life with you.”

  “Exactly,” Rob says sadly.

  “There’s something else you’re not telling me,” Tessa says, squeezing Rob’s hands.

  “Well, there is this guy. He loves her and I believe she loves him too,” Rob says, picturing the look of Layne and Kate as they enjoyed the dinner at The Orchard.

  “I see. So you think Kate no longer loves you?”

  “No, I know Kate loves me still, but like I said, we’ve had such a complicated relationship that maybe loving me really isn’t the best for her right now.”

  “Rob...”

  Rob sighs. “Did you hate Dad because he forced you to get married early? And then he wreaked havoc on your life with his womanizing ways?”

  “Is that what you think?”

  Rob nods.

  “Your dad did not force me into this situation, Rob. I wanted to be in this situation. If anything, I forced his hand and he had no choice but to be in it.”

  “How?”

  “I got pregnant with you, even if he was trying to be careful as hell. Obviously, he did the honorable thing and I was happy. Even if I knew he wasn’t totally happy.”

  “Oh.”

  “He had a lot of dreams, your dad, and when faced with being a husband and father he forgot all of them and became the man he needed to be.”

  “A serial womanizer?”

  “Like I said, he wasn’t ready yet. He wasn’t done yet sowing his wild oats, so to speak. I forced his hand. And that’s why I live with the consequences of that action.”

  “Oh, Mom.”

  “He wasn’t ready, so I gave him leeway. As long as he came home to me. I loved him. I love him. I wanted this, I should live with it.”

  “Did you ever wonder what would have happened if you didn’t force it?”

  “Sometimes. Although I feel in my gut it would still have been him and me in the end—but I didn’t leave that decision to him. So I guess, I’ll never really know.”

  “Are you happy?”

  “I have you, Rob. I’m happy I have you. I still have your Dad. It’s been difficult, but I still have the two men I love the most in my life.”

  Rob smiles.

  “There is another thing, Mom. Something I did. I am not proud of it, but if Kate finds out, she’ll get hurt.”

  “Oh Rob, not another girl... I thought you were through with all that!” Tessa wails.

  “It was a one-time thing, and it didn’t really go all the way, at least I don’t remember it did,” Rob hangs his head.

  “But—? There is something more. Kate has forgiven you for worse things.”

  “She won’t be as forgiving, Mom, I’m sure.”

  Tessa is silent for a while trying to process what Rob said.

  “It’s Pinky!?” Tessa blurts out suddenly.

  Rob is silent and he doesn’t meet his mom’s stare.

  “Robert Salcedo! What the hell?!” Tessa explodes, letting go of Rob’s hands.

  “I’m sorry, Mom!”

  “It’s not me you should be telling this to, you know!” Tessa glowers. She stands and starts pacing in front of Rob.

  “I can’t tell her... it will be the last straw. She’ll leave me for sure,” Rob wails.

  Tessa stops pacing. “Then, let her.”

  “What?”

  “Rob, let her leave,” Tessa says seriously as she sits down again.

  “But I can’t,” Rob says.

  “You can, and you know you should,” Tessa says softly. She takes hold of Rob’s hands again.

  “I can’t,” Rob says again.

  “Why can’t you?”

  “I won’t be able to live without Kate.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “You’re a grown man, Rob. You’ll survive this.”

  Rob is silent.

  “I hope you do what is right.”

  “Tell her I screwed around with the woman who caused her so much grief in the past? How will she ever be able to forgive me after that?”

  “Kate really loves you too, Rob. I know real love when I see it.”

  “I don’t doubt she loves me, Ma. But I also know there is a limit. And she is in love with this other guy, who loves her back.”

  “Don’t you think she’ll be infinitely happier with that other guy?”

  Rob’s eyes fill with tears.

  “You’re saying if I really love her, I should give her the chance to be happy, right?”

  Tessa nods.

  “Rob, you’re an intelligent man. I’m sure in that brain of yours, you already know what the right thing to do would be, even before you talked to me. The fact we’re having this conversation is testament to that. I am already proud of you. I won’t think less of you regardless what you decide to do.”

  “Thanks, Ma. I love you.”

  “Love you too, Robbie.”

  Rob hugs his mom. Tessa lets Rob have his silent cry on her shoulder.

  At the Sto. Domingo Residence

  “I can’t believe you, Kuya? Why didn’t you tell her?” Portia demands.

  “Portia, don’t talk to your Kuya like that!” Nina admonishes her eldest daughter.

  “’Nay! He had the perfect weapon to kill the competition and he didn’t use it! I just want to know why!”

  All eyes are on Layne. They are at the dining table, eating lunch. Layne is at the head of the table on one side, and Nina on the other. Portia occupies one side to the left of Layne, while Sophia and Gidgette sit together on the other side to complete the square.

  Layne takes the opportunity to swallow a big spoonful of rice after a big forkful of the roasted chicken their mom cooked. He takes his time to chew and the four other women fidget while they wait.

  After Layne swallows his food, he drinks some water and sighs.

  “I didn’t want to win that way.”

  “Excuse me, Kuya?”

  “I didn’t want to win by smearing the competition, so to speak. If this information of yours is reliable, then news of it will definitely get to her. I will not be the bearer of that kind of news. And none of you, as well.” Layne looks around the t
able.

  “So if any of you are thinking of dropping an anonymous hint to Kate, remove that thought from your minds. I will not have it.”

  Sophia starts to talk, then looks down and Portia glares at her, signaling to not say anything.

  “Porsh, I know you mean well, but please, don’t do anything, okay? I will be extremely unhappy with you if any of you did this.”

  “So you’re just going to wait and hope Kate finds out?” Gidgette asks, exasperated.

  “I promised her I only wanted to tell her how I felt. I wanted to lay everything on the table. She is an intelligent woman. If she still chooses to stay with him, if and when she finds out about Boracay, then maybe she really loves him more than she could ever love me. And I won’t force the issue.”

  The women in the house grow quiet. Layne takes another big mouthful of chicken, following it up with a spoonful of rice. He is tired of trying to justify what he did or did not do. Because deep inside he is knocking himself for not using the information in the first place.

  2

  The Photo

  It is the middle of the morning and Kate tries to write a few chapters of the novel she is working on, but the words are not flowing as expected. She is trying to invade the story on the pages in her laptop screen, so she can escape the story she is living. She continues to type, even if it is difficult. Anything is easier than confronting the decision she has made, because it was as if she never had a choice in the matter. Damn Rob.

  A new e-mail notification comes up on her laptop screen. Kate sighs. She needs a break. She clicks on the mail icon and checks her inbox. The sender address is not familiar, but Kate doesn’t think twice about it. She gets a lot of e-mail from readers and fellow authors and other people from the publishing industry. She clicks open the e-mail.

  There is only a picture attachment that is taking forever to load, so Kate waits. It looks like a beach party scene, with lots of people in different states of intoxication, dancing and hamming it up for the camera. The name of the bar appears as the picture loads and Kate recognizes it to be one of the most popular bars in Boracay. The picture finishes loading and Kate frowns.

  Why is someone sending me a Boracay party central picture?

  She is suddenly wary as she enlarges the photo and scans the faces of the people caught by the camera. And then she sees it.

  In the corner.

  Rob has his arms around a beautiful woman, who is nibbling on his ear. Rob is smiling, his hand casually cupping the woman’s bikini-clad breast.

  The woman’s face is familiar.

  Pinky.

  Miss Pinky Veneracion.

  Kate sees red.

  Four years ago

  It was hate at first sight. When Rob introduced Kate to yet another one of his girlfriends of the moment, she didn’t count on having such a violent reaction.

  Pinky was rich, complete with a chauffeur and a nanny who were at her beck and call at all times. They call her “Miss Pinky” and Kate took to calling her that when Pinky’s back was turned, just to spite her. She was a petite, chinita beauty, the stuff of Chinese movies. If you wanted to envision a Chinese beauty, Pinky’s face would invariably be one of your top options.

  Kate always felt big and awkward in Pinky’s presence. But the worst part of it was the look on Rob’s face when he was with Pinky. He looked actually happy. Rob treated Pinky differently from his other girls. And Kate took note. When she talked to Rob about it, he just shrugged it off. Proof that Rob had more feelings invested in Pinky than in any other.

  Kate hated Pinky.

  It was obvious the feeling was mutual. Kate knew Pinky was also jealous of Rob’s devotion to Kate. Whenever the three of them were together, or when they double dated, Pinky always felt out of place when Rob and Kate start talking and interacting like they were in their own world no one else was allowed in. Kate made sure of it.

  Rob and Pinky lasted longer than most of Rob’s relationships, and for Kate, it culminated in that night Kate punched Rob on the nose. After that, Rob and Pinky continued on for a couple more months.

  Another e-mail notification flashes on Kate’s screen. It is from the same e-mail address. Another picture loads as Kate waits with bated breath.

  It is a picture of a child.

  A little toddler boy.

  With Rob’s smile.

  Kate feels weak.

  Kate stares at the picture and notices there is a message written in the e-mail body.

  Let’s meet.

  There is a mobile number below the message.

  Kate closes her eyes and breathes deeply. The universe must have a very sick sense of humor. Just when she thinks everything has been decided and she has a way forward, no matter how difficult it is, something always happens to totally turn her life upside down.

  A few hours later

  Kate agrees to meet Pinky for a late lunch that same day. Kate arrives a few minutes late because of Manila traffic so she already sees Pinky waiting for her when she gets to the small Italian restaurant. The old hate and resentment wells up as soon as she sees Pinky looking as beautiful as ever, even more so because she had filled out more and is no longer as thin as before.

  Kate realizes it is because Pinky is already a mother.

  A mother. To Rob’s child.

  Kate doesn’t know how to process this information. She is still hoping it is a hoax or a prank, but seeing Pinky in the flesh dispels all those thoughts. The truth is staring at her in the face.

  “Does he know about the kid?” Kate asks, once they finish ordering.

  “Not yet. He hasn’t seen him. I haven’t posted pictures of him or anything about him on social media. Plus, I’ve been away the past years, building a new life in New York. You are the first outside my family who knows,” Pinky admits.

  Kate is silent for a while.

  “Boracay?” Kate asks.

  Pinky smiles sadly. She looks down, ashamed.

  “I’m sorry about that. I saw him. I still love him, you know. I didn’t know you two were engaged at first. And he is irresistible,” Pinky says as she looks apologetically at Kate.

  “He is the father of my child. I - I am not proud of what I did. I missed him. He looked good. I had hoped—well, I was hoping for something to happen. And... he had changed a lot. For the better.”

  “And yet his hand was on your boob,” Kate says sarcastically.

  Pinky laughs. “Rob has always been a boob guy. I remember that had always been a source of pain for me when we were going out, how he thinks your boobs were better than mine because I was almost flat as a board. He would always go on and on about me eating a bit more so I would fill out, so I’ll have more meat on me... like you.”

  Kate is suddenly ashamed. For Rob. He was never the most tactful person. She also remembers Rob telling her to slow down on the eating so she won’t get too big, and he always said that Pinky was someone who knew how to control her eating. Kate is suddenly embarrassed because while she thought Pinky was Rob’s perfect, Pinky was thinking it was Kate. Rob was just being Rob, unconscious he was pitting the two against each other with his careless words.

  “I’m sorry, Kate, but I used that against him. I had filled out after my pregnancy, you see, and I saw that he noticed. I threw myself at him. By that time, he already mentioned you and he were engaged. But I had already had a lot to drink and I wanted to steal him back from you. For myself. For Robin.”

  Robin.

  Rob is a dad!

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Part of me wants you to ditch him so I can try and get him back.”

  Kate is surprised at Pinky’s honesty.

  “Part of me wants to consult you as Rob’s closest and dearest friend—what do I do? How do I tell him? Should I tell him?”

  Ditch Rob... Kate realizes she has an obvious get-out-of-the-engagement situation. The question is, does she want to take it?

  “I was there when he came home that night years a
go with his nose bleeding. I was the one who gave him first aid and helped him stop the bleeding. I believe that was the night when Robin was conceived.”

  Kate closes her eyes, trying to forget the scene before the bloody nose.

  “You two had a fight and you weren’t talking to him. I was happy because I had him to myself. For a few precious months, I had him. We were together... because he didn’t have you.”

  “Why did you break up?”

  “You came back into his life,” Pinky says sadly. “I knew I couldn’t tell Rob about the baby then. I didn’t want him to reject us both, so I left for the US and had Robin alone.”

  Kate stares at Pinky.

  All the while she thought Pinky had been the bane of her existence. Little did she know that she, Kate, was the bane of Pinky’s existence too.

  “I know what you and Rob have is special, and when I found out he was engaged to you, I actually felt happy. But I am a mom, who wants to ensure her son gets to know his dad. I hope you won’t prevent that.”

  Kate is silent. A part of her knows she should be freaking out right about now. Actually, she should have started freaking out when she received the pictures in the e-mail. But she didn’t freak out, and she is not freaking out now.

  Why?

  Before, just the thought of Rob and Pinky in the same vicinity made her blood boil, but when Rob was in Boracay, although she was affected by the news Pinky was there, she didn’t react the same way she would’ve had this happened a couple of years ago.

  Now here she is, face to face with the woman who nearly stole Rob away from her in the past, the woman who seduced Rob in Boracay while knowing he was engaged, and the woman who has borne Rob a son.

  And what does Kate feel?

  Kate sighs. She feels relief and happiness.

  Happiness because Rob has a son and seeing Robin grow up would be like seeing Rob grow up in front of her eyes. That’s how uncanny the resemblance is between them.

  Relief, because... because she knows what she needs to do. She just doesn’t know how to do it yet.

  “Kate?”