Chasing Mrs. Knightly (Chasing #5: Chasing Epilogue)

by Pamela Ann

  We’d just had sex triple times without any form of protection, including her birth control. I had wanted a baby with her before, but the thought of conceiving it when she wanted a divorce… That would be challenging. I could fight her to stay, but then again, it would only be temporary because, either way, if she wanted to be free, she was going to find a way to do it.

  “Take me to bed,” she whispered before collapsing on my chest, her hand loosely on my neck as I fought the urge to kiss her.

  Taking a few steady breaths, I held her against my body as I lifted us both from the steps and paved our way towards our bedroom. Once in there, I strode to the vast bed, depositing her right in the middle, swarmed with shams and pillows.

  I stared at her spent form as I felt the immediate rush of excitement towards my groin. Even in dire circumstances, I would always be hungry for her.

  “Stay…” she murmured before she slowly lifted her eyes open then reached for my hand to tug me closer. “I was only taking a break. Give me half an hour, and I should be good as new.”

  No more sex, I thought without hesitation. We couldn’t solve everything with sex. But I would stay, just for tonight.

  Joining her in our marital bed, my head had barely hit the pillows when she crawled towards me and placed her head on my chest before releasing a big sigh.

  “I was pregnant last year…” she murmured, momentarily making me freeze as I realized what she’d just uttered.

  Huh? Was she dreaming? “When?” I asked skeptically.

  She took a deep breath. “Right after the attack… a week before we left for Rome. I didn’t even have a clue until the nurse told me I was losing the baby.”

  Christ, this was even before we had gotten married.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I wasn’t angry; no, far from it. I suddenly mourned the loss of our child as I pictured Sienna walking down the aisle on our wedding day.

  “You were recovering from your wound…” she sniffed. “And losing it made me feel like a failure. I was terrified you’d leave me because I wasn’t doing a great job of being a mother.”

  “But you had no idea you were pregnant then—”

  She hesitantly sat, wiping her tears away. “I didn’t, yet I couldn’t help feeling like I had let you and the baby down. There was so much going on then that trying to forget about what occurred to me seemed pretty easy. But each time you mentioned the word baby, I couldn’t help cringing because I’m horrible at being a mom, and I didn’t want you to see that.” She pauses. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…”

  “So am I,” I said wretchedly. Had I known about it, I wouldn’t have pressured her the way I had in the first place.

  But we were still stuck in this predicament. Even with this revelation, I doubted it could make any difference at all.

  The Ghost of You

  Sienna

  My best kept secret was a secret no longer.

  “Where does this leave us?” The thought of not having him in my life drove a sword into my soul. How idiotic was I to provoke him when I felt too much of everything at once? I was too insecure, too jealous, too in love, too emotional—too much of everything I could think of. I was this and that and then some. The heaviness of my regret seemed to suffocate me as I waited for his response. And when he did, I felt so alone.

  “Same as where we were an hour ago. Nothing’s changed, Sienna. There are some things that are too hurtful to even take back.”

  “I know… I know that now.” I begged with everything I had, “I’m immature, I get that, but please, just don’t give up on me yet. I didn’t mean it—the divorce—I’m sorry.” I didn’t even bother with the tears because I was past it. I was hysterically upset as everything started to take root in my heart. “I love you, and if you don’t believe it, I’ll gladly prove it by having your child. Please just give me another chance.” Nothing mattered anymore. Without Blake, I’d be lost again, wondering what my purpose was in all of this. With him, I felt like I could accomplish anything. He was the power behind my will. His undying belief that I could do anything made me feel and believe it. “Don’t leave me…” I’d lose my other half. I’d lose half of my soul. How the fuck did I function if I had only half of my heart? Half of everything I was? I just couldn’t. I just fucking couldn’t.

  “You don’t want a baby, Sienna, so please don’t insult my intelligence by saying you’d willingly change your mind because you felt responsible for lighting the fire.” He gazed at me with sadness, but it was obvious his mind was already set.

  I hadn’t realized how much I wanted a baby until tonight, until I finally knew I was losing him.

  I wrapped my arms around my stomach as I tried to get a hold of myself, totally failing. “One more chance.”

  “Sienna—”

  “You owe me that at least. One more, and if you remain unhappy, I’d willingly let you go myself.”

  He looked away, thinking, and then… “Why do you do this?” he grounded out, impatient. “Do you enjoy the misery? Do you miss it when it’s gone? Because, from where I’m standing, it’s quite certain that you seek all types of turmoil and upheaval. I’m getting too old for these types of shenanigans, Sienna. I’m at the point in my life where I want a sensible wife, children. I want a bloody family! It was all I wanted from you, and yet, you kept pushing me off as if my dreams were about to ruin you.”

  “I’m sorry…”

  He shook his head. “Sorry isn’t enough for the damage you’ve caused. Sometimes, sorry is just an excuse for someone to repeat their mistakes. You don’t know how to love without stipulations. I cannot keep conditioning myself to fit into your lifestyle. It’s enough.” His words had finality in them, and I knew with every fiber in me that it was close to impossible to change his mind. It was better to leave it alone than keep grating him about the subject.

  “Okay, I guess this is it then.”

  He kept his eyes on me, but I couldn’t bare looking at him for a full minute without feeling like my insides were being ripped apart by his own hands.

  “When do you want me to move out?” I asked in between tears as I slid off the bed and went inside my walk-in closet. I needed a robe to cover my body because I felt ashamed for all the things I had done tonight. I deserved this, therefore I might as well not deny how wrong I had been.

  Taking out a black robe, I haphazardly tied it around me just as I walked out of the closet. Blake remained in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling before he lowered his eyes down to look at me.

  “Tell me what you want… I’d gladly give it to you,” he said. Before I had the chance to reply, he continued, “I’m giving you this house and whatever property you want that’s mine. You can also take half of my money if that makes you happy. You can have a jet, a stake at the company, and whatever business endeavors I have accumulated during the span of our short marriage.”

  I wanted to cry because he truly believed I would take him to the cleaners. This was what we had come to. It was sad and pathetic.

  “I don’t want any of that. Just give me the papers to sign, and I’ll do it as long as you do don’t give me a single pence.”

  My light-hearted intentions of wanting to talk went out the window. There was no point anymore. I had realized that the second he opened his mouth, yapping garbage out of it.

  Striding back into the closet, I pulled out a medium-sized weekend bag and shoved everything I needed in it to get away somewhere.

  Where is my passport? I looked around and finally found it in the bottom drawer.

  “Don’t you think it’s too late to be heading somewhere?” His voice came up behind me, but I didn’t have the energy to look at him.

  “Just stop. Let’s not do this. Don’t pretend you care where I go or what I’ll do. Just stop.”

  “Stay in the house; it’s yours anyway. I’ll go and leave you be.”

  He was being so infuriating, acting nonchalant and being stupidly magnanimous about everything. His indifference
made me chuck my sunglasses case towards him before he caught it with one hand.

  Before I knew it, I was throwing everything I could find at him; a pen, my purse, a wallet, my make-up kit. You name it, I threw at him.

  “Sienna! Stop acting like a goddamn child!” he yelled at me.

  “Fuck you.” I didn’t care anymore.

  My engagement ring along with my wedding band caught my eye before my vision blurred as I reached out to them.

  “Here are your lies, Blake. Till death do we part, asshole.” I threw them over his head, hitting the mirrors, while he stared at me in horror. “There. Now, we’re really over.”

  “Have you lost your—”

  “My mind?” I shrilled at him. “Yes, I’ve fucking lost it! I hate you!” I grunted at him, and when he didn’t say another damn word, my insanity worsened. “I fucking hate—” I was about to shove him out of the way when he clasped both of his hands on my shoulders and roughly shoved me against the wall. “I hate you. I hate you!”

  “Sienna—”

  “No! Don’t you dare Sienna me, you impotent—” bastard, I meant to finish, but he kissed me to shut me up, and I loathed him even more. “Get off me. I don’t want you,” I yelped in between his kisses. “Stop…” God, why did he have to kiss so fucking good?

  “No, you’ve said enough,” he growled the words harshly against my lips. “I have had enough.” He swiftly lifted me against the wall before I felt his hardness slip in between my thighs, heading straight into my pussy.

  “Baby,” I moaned as tears filmed my eyes once more.

  He kissed me through my tears as he pounded me harder. Then, just as I was about to come, he pulled out of me before he lifted me up and headed towards the dresser.

  “On your knees,” he commanded the second I was deposited on the cushioned bench right before the mirrored wall of my dresser. “Eyes glued to the mirror. I want you to see what I do to you.”

  When I did as he asked, he gave me an approving, heavy-handed slap on my behind. He then positioned himself behind me before he took hold of my hair, yanking it as he slid his cock into me.

  “This is the only time you obey me… when I’m fucking you senseless.”

  My abilities were mostly impaired because he was utterly massive. What the heck did he expect?

  “If I give you another chance,” he hissed into my ear while I erotically watched our reflection. “There will be no more running away. Our marriage isn’t a game where you can up and leave whenever you want. You need to grow up and admit you’ve made a mistake.”

  His other hand went around my neck as he plunged deeper into my core. I moaned and groaned in oblivion.

  “You have to give me your all, Sienna. I won’t settle for anything else.”

  “I promise. I’ll be better this time around,” I gasped as he shifted to a different angle, hitting me straight on my sensitive spot.

  “Blake! God! Oh, God. What are you doing to me…?” I was stammering like an idiot and I didn’t care because my orgasm was about to explode. And when it did, he didn’t stop at one.

  “I love you, caro.”

  I was so out of it, but it didn’t stop him from using me until he was done and ready to release his seed into my womb.

  “I love you so fucking much,” he swore. “Don’t you dare ever forget it the next time you feel reckless and destructive.”

  This man’s patience for me was that of a saint. I was simply grateful he had at least given me another chance before giving up on me.

  I knew he loved me, and I knew it would probably break him had I truly walked out on him. However, I needed him to show some kind of emotion because his detachment drove me mad. It drove me to say and do things I didn’t mean. I was childish; I wasn’t going to deny that; it was how I dealt with my usual problems. I was slowly learning to do things differently, and I would eventually get there, one day.

  For this moment, though, I simply wanted to savor the feel of my husband making love to me over and over again, as if he was a man who wanted to prove something to himself. It was comforting to see that his hunger for me was intact. For a moment there, I had truly feared I had lost this bit of him.

  It was funny how we fought like we were about to kill each other then, the next day, we would wake up as if we just arrived on our honeymoon, and we couldn’t get enough of each other.

  I wasn’t going to lie. The make-up part made fighting just a little sweeter, not that I was planning on anything crazy anytime soon.

  Down Under

  Blake

  “Is your stewardess hot?” Sienna asked me through the phone just as I boarded my jet, heading towards Australia.

  I smirked, thinking how irrational she could get when jealous. Best not to drive her into that direction whilst I was out of the country, thousands of miles away, to avoid the damage she could cause.

  “Not as beautiful as you are, if that’s what concerns you.”

  “It’s not. I trust you. I do.” She tried to emphasize that she truly did, and I believed her.

  “Thank you,” I murmured as I took a seat and stretched my legs a bit. “Where are you anyway?”

  She sighed. “I’m at my gynecologist. I seem to have lost my pills during my hissy rampage in the closet, so I’m here to get a refill and do a pelvic exam.”

  Hissy rampage? How fitting.

  “Well, try not to have one of those outbursts, will you? I can handle only one every decade, just to let you know.”

  She made a laughing sound that made me smile a little.

  “You spoil me too much. Once every decade? Oh, my…”

  “I’d grow old and die faster the way you’re treating me. I so deserve a vacation after this trip.”

  “We shall,” she whispered. “Babe, I have to go. It’s my turn now. Have a safe flight and please behave. I love you and will speak to you soon.” She made a loud kissing noise before hanging up.

  Bloody Hell. This three week business trip was going to drag. I could already tell.

  ~

  “I heard you got married. Where’s your wife?” A familiar looking woman, whose identity I couldn’t pinpoint, greeted me with a welcoming smile.

  “I did,” I responded cordially as I nursed my whiskey. “She’s back in England, finishing up her last year in University.”

  “That’s great.” She eyed my drink before smiling widely, showcasing her perfect whites. “It must be lonely to travel all by yourself, being married and all. It bars you from having fun.”

  “I’m too busy with work; fun isn’t part of the agenda.” Women! Why couldn’t they just take the hint? When a man was married and not staring down at your arse or your bloody knockers, it was obvious you should try a different sort.

  Finishing up my drink from the hotel bar, I left right after I tipped the barman and strode straight into the bank of elevators to take me to my penthouse suite.

  I loved Sydney, but I was feeling all sorts of homesickness.

  It had been two weeks since I had seen Sienna, and I had to admit my body craved a woman. It just so happened that the only woman I wanted was my wife. No one else could satisfy me the way she could.

  It didn’t take long until I was up in my suite, dragging my feet as exhaustion took over me.

  I wasn’t drunk after having three drinks, but I questioned myself when I found the very person I had just been thinking about standing in the living room, staring back at me.

  “Sienna?” She seemed nervous, therefore I almost ran towards her, wondering if something was wrong. “Did something bad happen?”

  “I had to Google you because I couldn’t reach your cell phone,” she wretchedly said with a pointed look. “Why did you tell me you were staying in a different hotel? Why did you lie?”

  Christ. Not again. “Poppet, I’ve been all over Australia. I can’t very well tell you correctly each and every one I’ve stayed at. I apologize if I gave you the wrong one. I swear on my honor that it was a pure, honest mi
stake.”

  She frowned. “Oh.”

  “Right. You can very well apologize to me now before I spank you for it.” I was merely teasing, yet my cock twitched in response.

  Hell, she had no idea how fucking lovely it was to see her. I had been ceaselessly dreaming about her, in and out of the bedroom.

  She came to meet me before she fidgeted with her hands. “I’m sorry, I thought the worst—”

  “Aren’t we past this?”

  She sighed before stepping closer to me. “You’ve been gone too long, and I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve missed you so much that I decided to come here, even though I shouldn’t because I’d miss classes. I just needed an excuse to see you, I guess.”

  Pulling her close, I cupped her cheeks as I stared deeply into her eyes. “I love you, too.”

  It was absurd to be this desperate for the woman I was married to, however it was how I felt. Moreover, as embarrassing as it was to admit it even to myself, I couldn’t fight the emotions that consumed me when it came to her. For her to even think for a second that I’d find a replacement to pass the time with was beyond troubling.

  Kissing her was the highlight of my Australian trip. The takeovers didn’t even come close to this kind of high.

  “I’m late…” she momentarily whispered. “And I took an over the counter test.”

  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, don’t bloody stop talking, I almost said out loud before I frustratingly asked, “And?”

  “I’m pregnant,” she muttered before she started bawling. “I’m going to lose this one, too. It’ll be like the last time. I didn’t want to keep this information from you, but please don’t hate me when I prove to be right.”

  Dio mio! “You’re pregnant?” I grinned like there was no tomorrow. “Really and truly pregnant?”

  “Idiot!” She slapped me lightly on the chest. “There’s only one kind of pregnant. What the hell, Blake?”

  I lifted her off the floor and spun her a little before I carried her towards the sofa and cradled her on my lap, loving every inch of her. My wife was pregnant. I couldn’t rejoice enough.