Rowdy

by Amarinda Jones

“You have more power than you imagine.”

  How was this possible? Augusta felt no power surging inside her. Shouldn’t she at least feel something? A tingle? A twitch? All that came out was a hiccup.

  “Augusta, you have no choice. It’s your fate.”

  “Fucking fate!” Augusta swore. “I am sick to death of it.” She cussed some more because it made her feel better.

  Nell just smiled and let her go.

  “Nothing like a good swear. Feeling a bit better now?”

  “Sort of.” Augusta knew she would only feel better once she knew what fate had in store for her. It was the not knowing that was hard to deal with.

  “So how exactly do you know the Welsh guy?” Nell listened quietly as Augusta told her the story. “We have to get rid of him.”

  Augusta liked Nell. She was decisive and similar to Tilly but for the lack of diva dramatics.

  “How? Turn him into a frog or something?”

  “Maybe.” Nell pondered their options.

  This surprised Augusta. Before Nell had her looking into a mirror with her eyes closed. It was not at all witch-like but turning people into frogs was more like her idea of witchcraft.

  “We could? Seriously?”

  Nell nodded her head as if it was merely a simple thing to do.

  “We can do that but we need something more permanent.”

  Being a frog seemed like a pretty permanent solution to Augusta.

  “Like what ?”

  “Well, you may not like it.”

  Augusta rolled her eyes. “There have been so many things already I have not liked. What’s one more?”

  “We change Cadwalder’s mind.”

  “Huh?” That sounded too simple and Nell was right. Augusta didn’t like it. If she had access to power she wanted to use it.

  “We put a ‘change his mind spell’ on him so he forgets what he wants from you.”

  “Sounds too easy.”

  “The best things are.” Nell moved over to Augusta’s desk and grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. “We have to act quickly because what he plans I am sure will harm you.”

  For a moment, Augusta was sad. Newton had been one of the few people she had been able to rely on. To know he had been biding his time to use her for his own purposes stung.

  “I know it hurts, Augusta but he needs to be stopped.” Nell started furiously writing down a list on the paper.

  Nell was right. There was no time for sentiment. It was her survival over Newton’s greed.

  “How do we do it?”

  “This is what we need.” Nell handed her the list.

  Augusta scanned the neat writing. “Seriously? This is more like a grocery list.”

  The blonde woman smiled. “We don’t do ‘eye of newt’ anymore.”

  “Bummer,” Augusta murmured.

  “So where is tall, dark and sexy?” Nell looked around the apartment.

  “Argon had business to attend.”

  “Good, he is thinking and acting as he should.”

  “Huh?” What did that mean? Augusta knew she was missing out on something but what?

  Nell looked reassuringly at her. “Nothing you need to worry about.”

  “Well I’m a little pissed I am missing out on a secret that you two seem to share.” Augusta liked Nell, but she would not be averse to some serious hair pulling if she thought the blonde witch was going after Argon.

  “Ah jealousy.” Nell nodded her head in understanding. “No need. I have my own issues when it comes to men and their usefulness in my life.”

  “Okay then.” Her claws retracted.

  “About your man,” Nell hesitated as if weighing up her options. She saw the puzzled look on the other woman’s face. “He hasn’t told you yet has he?”

  Oh, that did not sound good.

  “What?” A feeling of anxiety swept through Augusta and she let out a wild stream of hiccups.

  “You’d accept your natural power more if you knew all there is to know.”

  Hiccup, hiccup, hiccup.

  “What?”

  “It’s not right to keep something like that from you as uncertainty dilutes power.”

  Hiccup, hiccup, hiccup.

  “You are either talking in riddles, Nell or you are stoned. Whatever you have to tell me, just say it.”

  “You’re married to Argon.” Nell stood quietly and awaited her reaction.

  Augusta just stared at her in disbelief. She did not hiccup because for a moment all the breath had been knocked out of her body.

  “I am not.” But even as she said the words, Augusta felt a shiver of reality run up her back.

  “Yeah you are,” Nell responded matter-of-factly. “Have you ever wondered why you could not take that ring off?” She pointed to the elaborate diamond ring that glittered on Augusta’s finger.

  The wearer looked at it herself. It’s just a ring. Isn’t it?

  “It’s just tight.” Even to her own ears, Augusta thought that sounded weak. But how? Why? When?

  Nell was ready to answer those questions.

  “It’s a Cardissan matrimonial ring. Once placed on your finger you are legally and irrevocably married.”

  Augusta twisted the ring in agitation. It was one thing to have sex with the man but marriage was supposed to be a consultative matter. I don’t recall any discussions.

  “But there were no vows or paperwork.” Hiccup, hiccup. Now she had caught her breath a thrill of panic shot through her.

  “Augusta, marriage was never meant to be a big frou-frou white extravaganza of who can spend the most money. That’s just all commercialism to get people indebted forever trying to pay it off.” Nell’s words were logical and straight to the point. “Marriage is a simple bond like the exchange of a ring and the love of your life at your side. The rest is just fairy floss to create a spectacle.”

  “But he… I…” Augusta stopped and thought back to their first time together. She had been so overwhelmed with sensation that Argon could have done anything with her and she would have gone along with it. “That bastard.” That was obviously what he had counted on. Seduce the horny virgin and get married to fulfill Hester’s curse. “He lied to me.” Why? Argon knew she loved him even if she had not said the words.

  “Well, technically, Argon just omitted to tell the truth.”

  Augusta stared at Nell as if she was mad.

  “That’s splitting hairs! I would not have known about any of this unless you told me.” Why had Argon not told her the truth? Was he hiding something?

  “I imagine Argon believed he had his reasons,” Nell said trying to calm her down.

  “What? A roll in the hay?”

  Nell sighed as if she wished she had not said anything.

  “Argon’s position is complicated.”

  “And it’s going to get a damn sight more complicated.”

  Chapter Eleven

  After Nell left, Augusta went down to empty the trash. So far, as birthdays went, this one sucked but that was par for the course. Birthdays had never been a big deal for Augusta. What was a big deal was being lied to by Argon.

  “My husband.” Augusta crashed the lid down. The whole thing was just so galling. Why exactly had he married her? For love? To save his ass from the curse? Or was it something the universe had called on him to do. “Fucking universe, always interfering.” She gave the trash can a swift kick. “If we were really married then Argon would be taking out the trash.”

  “Talk to yourself a lot do you?”

  The overpowering smell of mold and garlic hit her like sledgehammer. She turned to look into the bright, burning eyes of two zombies. One was tall and elegant. The other looked like a creepy, ten dollar accountant. Great. Not only do I find out I am I married on my birthday but I have zombies in my backyard and me without a hammer to bash their zombies brains in. Can the day get any better?

  “What do you want?” She stood her ground and refused to be scared. The stench and heat coming from the
m was appalling. Augusta had read that zombies used that to terrify people. But not me.

  “My name is Andervarle.” He smiled a charming yet nasty smile at her.

  “I don’t care if it’s Marion.”

  “That’s not very polite, Augusta.”

  “I’m not in the mood to deal with you.” She looked him up and down in contempt.

  “Happy birthday.”

  “What? No present?” Augusta turned on the feral little zombie who growled at her words. She bared her teeth back at him. He backed down.

  Andervarle cuffed his associate hard.

  “Leave the lady alone, Warren. You are no match for her.”

  Warren? Of course. No one would be scared of a bad guy called Warren.

  “You’re here because?” Augusta waited for the head zombie to get to the point.

  He looked at his nails casually. “Did you know your dear Welsh friend sent us to your fair city to cause trouble and get your attention?”

  There it was, proof positive against Newton. “And?” Augusta returned just as casually.

  “Well I thought you and I could come to a deal.”

  Augusta was fairly sure whatever the deal was it was not going to be to her benefit.

  “I don’t make deals with your type.” The thing that interested her was that neither zombie had made a move to attack her? Why? Zombies were not exactly known for their finesse.

  “Not even to save your lover?”

  Andervarle’s words made her heart skip a beat. They wanted Argon?

  “What?” Augusta knew by the sinister smile on the zombie’s face that he had the upper hand. For the moment.

  “Our deal with the Welshman was for us to get your lover while Newton would have you. We were to distract you.” Andervarle had a pleased look on his face as if he knew she was on the defensive now. “Immortals are quite a prize to have as captives.

  Augusta snorted in derision “Like you could ever catch Argon.” He would not be silly enough to walk into any zombie trap.

  “Normally no, but he is weakened by love and, I suspect, all the bunny rabbit sex you two have doing.” Andervarle looked at her distastefully.

  Damn, he was right. Immortals were weakened by love. Augusta remembered the problems Tilly had with Titch being weakened.

  “So why are you telling me this?” The evil chuckle of triumph from the zombie was unnerving, but then it was meant to be.

  “Although we want him, you can save him.”

  Despite the pain gripping her sinuses due to the smell, Augusta knew she had to listen to what the zombie had to say. She had no choice. Argon’s life was in danger. Even thought he was a liar, she still loved him.

  “What’s the catch?”

  Andervarle leaned on fence behind him, the smaller zombie mimicking his actions. If it wasn’t all so serious, it would have been laughable to Rowdy. Stinky and stinkier.

  “We wanted his power but you have more.”

  Of course, it was obvious. Zombies always wanted the most or best.

  “You want me. So why not take me now?”

  “Well, as much fun as that would be, we want to teach Cadwalder a lesson.” Andervarle’s eyes burned bright with hatred. “And there is the Zombie Walk.”

  “Naturally you would not pass up an opportunity to maim and kill en masse.” The nod of pleasure he gave her was sickening. “You are both spiteful and greedy.”

  “Yet charming.”

  “And smelly.” When the smaller zombie rushed her, Augusta stopped him with a palm to his forehead. He kept moving his feet although he wasn’t going anywhere. “Couldn’t have got someone a little smarter?”

  Andervarle threw Warren to the ground.

  “Agree to come with us and we will leave the immortal alone. They’re difficult at the best of times.”

  Tell me about it

  “How can I trust you?” I know I bloody can’t but what choice to I have? I cannot have Argon taken by these losers.

  “Well, normally you can’t but if we hurt him it’s hardly going to help us get you is it? I suspect you may dig your heels in and refuse to join us.”

  Damn straight. “Why are you looking at me like that?” It was creepy, inquisitive and bordering on unnerving.

  “You have no idea the scope of your powers do you?”

  Not a clue.

  “Even better. A virgin witch,” he murmured to himself.

  “Virgin?” Warren sat and started drooling. “Virgin?” He started sniffing the air. Andervarle smacked him in the head again, knocking him out.

  “Annoying simp… where was I? Oh yes, it will please me much to see you parted from your beloved.” He smirked at the look she gave him. “Yes, we are spiteful bastards but it’s our one joy in life.”

  “What about Newton?” Where did he fit in all of this? And this was nowhere near the dream she had. Yes there was heat but the only person who was destined to leave to save anyone was her.

  “He is a manipulative sod who will get what he deserves. So, are you in or not? We’ll even give you twelve hours for the tearful farewell. It also gives us time to have a little fun with the population.”

  When the hell were these powers supposed to kick in? Augusta really wanted to smash Andervarle’s annoying face in. But in lieu of wondrous powers, she knew there was only one thing she could do. Augusta had to save Argon.

  “Fine, okay, I’ll do it. Just leave Argon alone.”

  “I knew you’d cave in for love. You mortals are pathetic.”

  “Bite me.”

  “I may just do that,” Andervarle said chomping his teeth together obscenely.

  “Hello, Rowdy,” Tilly Moor called out as she rounded the corner and came upon them. “Who are your smelly friends and why is there never a blunt object around when I need one?” A groggy Warren reached for Tilly’s ankle. She kicked him in the face with her size nine Doc Marten boots. The zombie crumpled back down. “Zombies. No staying power.”

  Augusta was overwhelmingly pleased to see her best friend but she knew Tilly was in danger because while the zombies wanted her, they did not need a mouthy mortal ass kicker like Tilly. Augusta grabbed her arm and pulled her close to her side to protect her. She shook her head at the questioning look Tilly gave her.

  “Well, isn’t she perfectly ghastly?” Andervarle ignored the rude gesture Tilly made at him and turned to Augusta. “See you tomorrow.”

  “Wankers,” Tilly murmured over-sweetly as Andervarle picked up Warren’s foot, walking off, dragging him behind as he went.

  The two women embraced once the zombies could no longer be seen.

  “What the hell is going on?”

  “Zombies.” And I have twenty-four hours to save my ass.

  “Well duh, I mean with you.”

  Augusta looked at her best friend and tried to think of a quick condensed version to everything that has happened but there was none.

  “It’s involved.”

  “Everything is always is with us, Rowdy.” Tilly sighed tiredly. “Where’s Argon? Did he leave?”

  “No, he’s around.” Hiccup.

  Tilly looked her in the eye and drew a deep breath.

  “You had sex with Argon!”

  Oh how did she know? Augusta really did not want to get into this with Tilly. As much as she loved her friend, she knew Tilly would not leave her alone until she had all the details. Augusta knew time was limited.

  “We have zombies to deal with Tilly.”

  “So tell me about it.”

  “I think there’s at least four maybe more of them,” Augusta responded knowing that was not what Tilly wanted to know.

  “No. I mean about you and tall, dark and impossibly arrogant Argon.”

  Augusta could agree on the fact the man was annoying but not arrogant. At least not to her.

  “He isn’t and we don’t have time.”

  “Make time,” Tilly insisted. “I want to know everything.”

  Augusta sighed deeply.
“Okay let’s see, I have been having sex with an immortal and it seems I’m married.” She lifted her hand to show her friend the ring. “Up to speed now?”

  Tilly was agog. “Wow. Really?” She grabbed her hand and looked at the ring.

  “Yes, apparently once this is on my finger I’m married to Argon.”

  “Okay, so why did you marry him?”

  Would I have married Argon if he had asked me? I would have liked the chance to find out.

  “I didn’t know until this morning when the witch told me.”

  “The witch?”

  “Nell. Oh and by the way I am apparently a witch too. I have amazing powers but I have no idea what they are.”

  Tilly sat down hard on a trash can.

  “Right okay. What else?”

  Augusta had to hand it to Tilly. Nothing shocked her.

  “Newton turned up.”

  “Newton of the geek squad?” Tilly’s eyes opened wide with surprise.

  Now she’s shocked. It was proof that Tilly was human under her tough façade.

  “Yes it appears he wants my fantastic powers.”

  “I always suspected he was a rat fink.” Tilly slammed her fist down on her denim clad knee. “Hmm, go back to Argon. Wasn’t this the guy you were scared of being with?”

  “Things change.” Who knew strawberry cheesecake ice-cream and wine were aphrodisiacs?

  “Yeah, I know how that happens,” Tilly said as if remembering another time of her own.

  “It’s just sex.” Fantastic sex but still sex. Added to that the man was a liar. There was the reason to hate Argon, but for the life of her Augusta could not muster up any real venom.

  “Uh-huh.” Tilly looked at her skeptically. “You want to come up with something a little more convincing for the woman who has known you for most of your life?”

  Augusta started pacing. Maybe it would help to get what she felt out into the open.

  “Okay, it may have been more.”

  “Like love?”

  “Yes, but Argon lied to me about marriage.” Augusta explained what happened to her friend.

  “Men are strange,” Tilly pronounced as she stood up from the trash can. “Frig and what about you? I leave you alone for a week and you lose your virginity to an immortal you hated and now love and are married to, you’ve got zombies visiting your house and a geek wanting your secret powers. And you know what surprises me most?”