Intimate 02 - Intimate Surrender

by Laura Landon

  “Is that what happened today?” Rafe asked. His voice was softer and filled with less censure than before.

  “Yes,” Dalia answered. “Skinner and his cohorts cater to the more depraved of your species. Of high demand are children and virgins. He either lures them into service, or he steals them.”

  Rafe’s gaze lowered to the floor.

  “Yes, my lord,” Hannah said. “They steal them. That’s why it’s so important that we keep a close watch and move as fast as we can.”

  “Surely you realize you’re not safe?” Rafe asked.

  Concern filled his eyes, and Hannah felt a tug at her heart. He cared about her. No one had ever cared about her. She swallowed hard. “Neither are the children. They need me. They need all of us to save them.”

  Hannah looked at the man who’d caused such turmoil in her life and reminded herself that they didn’t have a future together. They were worlds apart, and no amount of wishing or dreaming or praying could bring their worlds closer.

  A knock on the door kept her from saying more to him.

  “I just left the girl,” one of the prostitutes known as Ruthie said from the open doorway. “She lives with her granny and ran away ’cause she said it was boring there.” Ruthie smiled. “She doesn’t like the excitement here and has decided to go home.”

  “I’m glad,” Hannah answered. She was thankful she didn’t have to make room for the girl at Coventry Cottage. It was overcrowded as it was. “Has Humphrey returned? Was he hurt?”

  “He has a cut on his arm, but other than that, he escaped his tussle with Skinner’s men unharmed.”

  “Good. As soon as he’s able, have him take the girl to her grandmother. And send Clemmons with him. Everyone needs to take special care from now on.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Dalia stood. “I’ll make sure the girl gets on her way,” she said.

  “Thank you,” Hannah answered, then watched as her friend left the room. She and Rafe were alone.

  He stood and stepped closer to her. “You can’t stay here, Hannah. It’s not safe. Come away with me.”

  His entreaty was serious. He really wanted to have a life with her. Except, in time he’d regret his rash decision. How could it be any different?

  Her past would be a constant hurdle. It didn’t matter where they went; eventually someone would recognize her. In time he wouldn’t be able to endure the comments and accusations. She wouldn’t be worth the humiliation he suffered—a man of the cloth married to a prostitute. When that happened, he’d hate himself because he’d been infatuated by someone so flawed. And he’d hate her because of who and what she was.

  She shook her head. “No, Rafe.”

  “You have feelings for me. I know you do. You may not be brave enough to face them yet, but you care for me. I know you do. I knew it the second we kissed.”

  “It doesn’t matter what I feel for you, or what you feel for me. All that matters is that you are a vicar searching for a parish where you can do what you’ve been called to do. And I am a prostitute. A whore.”

  “You’re not a whore! Madam Genevieve is a role you’ve played but not who you really are. Beneath your fancy clothes and beautifully styled hair, you’re a good, pious woman. Madam Genevieve is someone you were forced to become because of what happened to you when you were young.”

  Hannah stared at him in disbelief. “Listen to yourself, Rafe. Listen to the lies you’re telling yourself about me.” She slashed her hand between them. “You’re trying to pretend I’m the same as the other females who sit in the pews every Sunday morning. But I’m not!”

  “Don’t say that. You can’t help what that man did to you when you were young.”

  “No, I couldn’t help what he did. But that doesn’t change what he did. Or what I became because of what he did. You are the one who can’t face it. You want to pretend my past never existed.”

  “Then you’ll change. You can become respectable. We’ll go away and start over. No one will ever know who you were.”

  You can become respectable.

  Hannah slowly turned and walked to the other side of the room. With her back to him, she pressed her fists against her stomach. The ache there nearly doubled her over.

  “A person doesn’t become respectable. Respect is something that’s earned. And being a prostitute doesn’t earn a person respect.”

  “I didn’t mean that, Hannah. You know I didn’t.”

  “Leave, Rafe. Go home. Find a parish where you can devote your time to being a shepherd to the saints of this world. Leave me and the sinners of this world alone. We don’t need you. I don’t need you.”

  “Hannah—”

  “Leave!”

  A long, agonizing silence stretched before the door opened then closed. The room echoed with a hollow emptiness, and this time she knew he was gone. Her heart ached with a devastating void that only came from knowing that all was lost.

  And in that moment, Hannah knew she’d lost the only person who would ever mean anything to her.

  She’d lost the only man she would ever love.

  Chapter 11

  Hannah entered Madam Genevieve’s through her private entrance and handed her cloak to the waiting butler. She headed toward the stairs that would take her to her suite of rooms on the third floor. She was tired. She wanted nothing more than to sit down with a chilled glass of wine and hope it would help her forget.

  “Did you find who you were looking for?”

  Hannah looked to the top of the stairs and saw Dalia. She stood as if she were Hannah’s mother and had postponed going to bed so she could reprimand her daughter for coming home late.

  Hannah shook her head, then began her climb up the steps. “I wasn’t looking for anyone in particular. I just thought there might be a young girl out there who needed our help.”

  “How much longer are you going to torture yourself like this?”

  “Like what?” Hannah said when she reached the top of the stairs. She walked past her friend and went to her rooms. “I’m not torturing myself.”

  “You are and have been since your vicar left.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Hannah opened the door to her sitting room and entered. Dalia followed her. “And he’s not my vicar.”

  “Taking chances like you are isn’t going to help. It’s only going to get you into trouble.”

  “I don’t take chances. I don’t go out alone. Humphrey is always with me.”

  “Except when you go off by yourself and tell him to stay with the carriage.”

  “Who told you—” Hannah stopped. She should have known Dalia would demand Humphrey report any risks she took. Dalia was worried about her. They all were. She could tell from the way they watched over her.

  It had been two weeks since Rafe left, and everyone treated her as if she were something fragile and about to break.

  “I’ve never seen you like this, Genny. I know you’re keeping yourself busy to forget him, but it’s not good for you.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not trying to forget anyone. I just remember the promise I made myself years ago. I’d forgotten it for a while.”

  “You didn’t forget. None of us forgot. But we knew to be careful. We didn’t underestimate the danger like you’re doing now. It’s as if you want a confrontation with Skinner.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Hannah repeated, although that was exactly what she wanted. This war wouldn’t be over until one of them came out on top. Skinner wouldn’t be stopped until he was eliminated.

  “When I think of the girls Skinner’s already got his hands on, I get sick. It’s never been more important to save as many girls as we can.”

  “That’s what we’ve always done,” Dalia said, “but we’ve never searched for them night and day.”

  “Well, maybe we should have. Maybe we could have saved more girls. Even one more would have been a blessing.”

  Dalia walked to the table where several cry
stal decanters sat and poured two large glasses of chilled wine. When she returned, she handed one to Hannah, then sat in a chair facing her.

  “Why don’t you tell me what’s really behind this,” she said after she’d taken a sip of her wine. “And spare me the denials. We know each other too well to test our friendship with lies.”

  Hannah lifted her glass to her mouth and drank a swallow of the wine. She and Dalia often sat in these same chairs and shared parts of their pasts that no one else knew. That’s what best friends did; they listened to each other without judging.

  “It’s Rafe. I’ve tried, Dalia, honest I have, but I can’t forget him.”

  “Your vicar?”

  “Yes,” she whispered. “My vicar. I’ll be thirty next month, and I’ve been a prostitute nearly half my life. I’ve slept with scores of men and have never given any of them a second thought. Why now? Why him?”

  “Because he’s special. Because he’s opened some of the doors you’d slammed shut years ago by telling yourself that you didn’t deserve to be loved the same as other women are. Unfortunately, even though we lock the doors to all the chambers of our heart, when you least expect it, someone comes along with a key to unlock those doors.”

  “But why him? Why a vicar?”

  Dalia smiled. “Because God has a unique sense of humor, and He often plays tricks on His creations.” Dalia laughed. “I have to admit, He played a real good one on you.”

  Hannah looked at her friend. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you talk about God. I didn’t know you were a religious person.”

  Dalia laughed. “I doubt your vicar or any of the good people who attend church on a Sunday morning would call me a religious person, but I was raised in a good home. My granny was a churchgoer, and she read my sister and me a story from the Bible each night before we went to bed. Those were my favorite times.”

  Hannah took another sip of her wine. “Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if your granny and sister hadn’t died of a fever?”

  “I used to a lot, but not so much anymore.” Dalia sat back in her chair. “How about you? Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you’d had a different father?”

  Hannah shook her head. “It doesn’t do any good to want to change your life. I learned early on to accept the life you were given and make the best of it.”

  “But you’re not ready to accept your vicar? Or the fact that he might truly care for you?”

  At first, Hannah thought to answer Dalia’s questions with a flippant reply, but something stopped her. She needed to face the feelings she had for Rafe, no matter how much they hurt.

  “When we first met, I knew he was attracted to me. I’d seen that look in men’s eyes plenty of times when they first saw me. I know I’m passably attractive—”

  “You’re more than passably attractive. You’re beautiful and you know it,” Dalia interjected.

  Hannah smiled. “I’m pretty—nothing more. And I know how to please a man. Over the years I’ve met several men with whom I could have easily fallen in love. But didn’t. Love wasn’t something I thought I’d ever experience. Then, when I least expected it, there he was. A man who was everything I wanted a man to be—mild yet possessing an inner strength that made me feel safe and secure. Kind and gentle and honest and giving. He’s the first man I thought could accept who and what I am.”

  “If you’re sure he can accept you, what’s stopping you?”

  Hannah rose from her chair and walked to the window on the other side of the room. “He’s a vicar, Dalia. He stands up in front of a congregation each and every Sunday and preaches about godliness and virtues. A connection to me would make every word he utters a lie.”

  Dalia didn’t speak for several long seconds. Her silence told Hannah she agreed. A future with Rafe was impossible.

  “Have you considered turning your back on your life here and going away with him?”

  Hannah turned with a smile on her face. “You sound as naive as Rafe.” She took a comforting sip of her wine. “How long do you think it would be before someone recognized me? How long before Rafe is driven out of one church, then another, because of me? How long before he comes to hate me because I’ve ruined his life?”

  Dalia’s silence indicated she knew Hannah was right. Her question confirmed it.

  “What are you going to do?”

  Hannah walked back to her chair and sat. “What I’ve always done. Run Madam Genevieve’s. We need to turn a profit to keep Coventry Cottage open. And I’ll try as diligently as I can to save as many girls as possible from Skinner’s clutches.”

  “What about your vicar? It’s obvious he means a lot to you. He’s not going to be easy to forget.”

  Hannah breathed a heavy sigh. “For now, I’ll keep myself as busy as possible. Maybe in time I won’t think of him as often as I do now.”

  “Which is?”

  Hannah tried to hide the tears that filled her eyes. “All the time, Dalia. All the time.”

  A sharp knock saved Hannah from embarrassing herself with the tears that threatened to fall. The door opened, and one of the girls stood in the entryway with a paper in her hand.

  “Miss Genevieve, this just came for you. It came from that whore who works for Skinner who’s been telling us when the blackguard leaves to get a new girl.”

  Hannah reached for the note. “Thank you, Molly.”

  The girl smiled, then left.

  Hannah opened the note and read it. She rose from her chair. “Dalia, tell Humphrey to ready the carriage. Skinner left to pick up another girl.”

  “I don’t like it, Genny. That’s the second girl today. Something’s not right. Send Converse with Humphrey and you stay here.”

  Hannah laughed as she headed for the door. “The poor girl would probably run to Skinner for help if she saw both Converse and Humphrey come after her. They’re big as barns.”

  “Then take Converse with you too.”

  “Who will stay here in case one of the girls needs him?”

  “When’s the last time one of the girls needed either Humphrey or Converse? They’re only needed when one of us goes out to rescue another girl.”

  “I’ll be fine, Dalia. You’re fretting like a mother hen.”

  “Take Converse too. Please.”

  Hannah gave up her arguments. “Very well. I’ll take Converse too. Now go. Have Humphrey bring my carriage to the back door and tell Converse he’d better be there or I’m leaving without him.”

  Dalia breathed a sigh Hannah heard across the room, then did as she asked.

  Hannah followed Dalia to the door, but stopped before she left her room. Even though she didn’t think she had anything to worry about, it didn’t hurt to be extra cautious.

  She walked back into the room and opened the drawer at the back of the small table that sat beside her chair. She reached inside and wrapped her fingers around the small pistol there, then tucked it into a pocket in her skirt.

  She wouldn’t need it, she was sure. But it didn’t hurt to be prepared.

  Chapter 12

  A light mist fell as Hannah made her way to London’s seedier side. The first time she came here in search of a young girl to rescue, she’d hated it. Everything about this part of London reminded her of what it had been like when she’d first arrived nearly fifteen years ago. And even though she’d been here scores of times since, she still didn’t like it. She wasn’t as frightened now as she’d been then, but she still didn’t like the memories that surfaced when she came here.

  The carriage turned a corner, then slowed.

  “Are you sure this is where the note said, ma’am?”

  “Yes, Humphrey. Let Converse out here, then drive ahead, but stay in the shadows.”

  Hannah sat back against the squabs. There was no use peering out the window. Humphrey would keep watch like he always did. When Skinner or one of his associates showed up, he’d let her know. Then they’d wait until the girl arrived.
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  If Skinner followed his regular routine, someone would bring her—either one of Skinner’s henchmen or the woman called Maude, who ran the holding house where he kept the girls after he pretended to rescue them from the streets. When Maude came, she usually had a guard with her. Hannah always thought she’d rather deal with the guard than with Maude. She was one of the few women who frightened Hannah, and Hannah would hate to have to defend herself against her.

  Hannah leaned her head back against the cushion and closed her eyes. Her thoughts drifted where they always did when she had a quiet moment—to Rafe. She wondered what he was doing. Wondered if he’d started his life again. If he was having as hard a time forgetting her as she was him.

  She pressed her fingers to her lips and remembered the last time he’d kissed her. There were moments when she swore she could still feel his lips against hers. She prayed she’d never forget what that had been like.

  She heard a noise outside and came alert.

  “There’s a wagon coming, Miss Genevieve. It’s that Maude woman and that rotter they call Fish. They have the young’un with ’em.”

  “Can you see Skinner?” she asked through the open carriage window.

  “No. The driver seems to be alone, as always.”

  “We won’t do anything until—”

  “Wait,” Humphrey interrupted. “Here comes someone.”

  “Is he alone?”

  “Yah, he’s alone.”

  “Good. We’ll wait until they exchange the girl, then we’ll follow him. Stop the carriage before he reaches the next street if you can.”

  “That shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll—Oomph!” Before Humphrey finished what he was saying, the carriage lurched, and then the door burst open. Strong, brutal fingers clamped around her arms and pulled her from the carriage.

  Hannah struggled, but her efforts only caused the two men to tighten their unyielding grasps. She looked around and spotted two more men standing over Humphrey’s limp body.

  Her heart pounded frantically. This was Skinner’s doing. He’d set a trap, and she’d walked into it. She knew whatever he had planned, it wouldn’t be pleasant. “Let go of me,” she ordered.